This is not a story about a romantic night although I wish it was. Hopefully, that story will be coming up soon. Anyway, this is a story about being comfortable with who you are and accepting yourself–flaws and all. I know there are a lot of women out their that struggle with body image and acceptance and I was one of them. First, please allow me to give a brief history about myself.
I have never been a small person; as a child I was plump–with a pokey belly. The women in my family are plus size, but they are not what you would call obese and unhealthy. They are healthy, they eat right, and exercise about two or three times a week, mostly walking. They are just pleasantly plump and they are very comfortable with who they are. They keep their appearance up — hair, nails, makeup, clothes that fit properly and just right and not too revealing. So now you see where I am going with this. They are comfortable with who they are and they accept themselves. My sisters are married and have fulfilling sex lives — and they are a beautiful and voluptuous plus size.
Brief history over, back to me. I realized that if I am to be happy with a happy marriage and fulfilling sex life then I must change my thinking and learn to accept myself for who I am. I must learn to be comfortable with my body, learn to love my body, learn to appreciate my body and be grateful that I have a body that is very much alive. That is how I need to see my body. When you learn to accept yourself and become comfortable with who you are that opens up other doors. Doors that allow you to enjoy a satisfying sex life. My husband and I had a very long and wonderful conversation one night and he said some things that really registered.
He reminded me that when we first met I was not a small girl. I wasn’t skinny; I was plump. He then went on to say that “if you weren’t skinny then why are you worried about your weight now? You had three children for me back to back. Those extra pounds mean you loved me enough to carry my children.” He then went on to say that he found me to be sexy, very arousing, and very appealing and he loved me and my body for who I are and what I am—flaws and all. Needless to say that I was all smiles as you can imagine. I felt so good after this talk with my husband.
I now view myself as a beautiful and voluptuous plus size woman. At 4’11, with a round face, plump mid section, round bottom, and 44 F breasts I am learning to accept my body for what it is and I am learning to love my body how it is—flaws and all (by the way, I walk a lot and drink plenty of water. I just need to get my snacking under control and make healthier choices when it comes to food, LOL). Realizing that my body is loved by my husband made me feel so good about myself that I decided to stop allowing my weight to interfere with my enjoyment of life. After that I felt so incredibly sexy; I haven’t felt like that in a long time. That’s when I realized that sexiness starts in the brain. You have to believe you are sexy in order to feel sexy; which all starts with body image acceptance.
Looking back at the past, I realized that, yes, the kids were time consuming, I was in school full time, and was always exhausted at the end of the day. But, I now see that the real reason I said no was because I was uncomfortable with who I was as a person. I was uncomfortable with my weight. I had no idea my weight gain didn’t bother him, he still wanted me. But, I said no so many times that he eventually lost interest in it, not wanting to go astray. Now we have to find a way to fix what has been damaged but not broken; remember communication is key. With much prayer, diligent, and hard work we will revive our sex life. I love my husband with my all. We have been together for a total of 12 years this August and married for 9 years this October. That’s too much to throw away and start over. I can’t imagine my life without him. I don’t want to, it scares me so much. I know I must sound crazy but when he’s at work I go into our closet and just smell his clothes. I love the way he smells, he smells so good. And, the smell of his clothes comforts me.
So my advice to all women is learn to love yourselves for who you are. Please don’t allow your body image issues to interfere with your life and your marriage. This act will damage your sex lives and your marriages. Your husbands will love you for who you are. Don’t keep your bodies away from them. They will love every part and will be more than happy to caress and kiss you all over. Let go of your insecurities and relax, and enjoy that precious time and closeness with your God sent husband.
I am not a writer by any means so if this seems unorganized I do apologize. I just wanted to share what I learned and to spare others the pain from the results of poor body image. Plus, I don’t know if there are other women that come to this site because they may be going through the same thing, but I decided to share my awakening concerning body image to help those that may need a few words of encouragement so they will know that they are not alone. If this little story has helped even one person then I feel like I have accomplished something. Thank you for taking the time out to read my story. I hope you enjoyed it and found it informative.
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