The Meaning of Words – Dirty Names (L)

I have really enjoyed being a part of Marriage Heat.  Although I will admit at first I struggled with some of the things on here, but seeing other Christians (especially Christian women) talk openly about their sexuality, has helped me open up more and more.  So first of all thank you for that and for this site.

It was a bit of a shock to me when I found myself engaged in sex with my husband and I was thinking some pretty dirty things inside my head.  Now keep in mind I was raised in a very conservative and small church and town.  Everyone knew everybody.  And I was raised to be a “good girl”.  But after a few years of marriage, sometimes when I was having sex with my husband and things were getting heated up I found myself thinking in my head, “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me…” and I would hear that over and over.  I never said it out loud and I actually felt ashamed that I was doing that.  I felt even more ashamed that I enjoyed that.

But then my husband introduced me to Marriage Heat and I started to see that I wasn’t the only one.  That encouraged me and intrigued me.  It encouraged me because I saw that I wasn’t a “bad Christian” for thinking that way since so many other Christian women talk like that.  And it intrigued me because I felt like it validated the idea that it was okay to say that.  My husband and I have talked a lot about this and he made the point that words are just words.  We give them meanings and those meanings can change.

Since then we have been trying to work on our “sexual vocabulary” as my husband calls it.  It’s taken some time and the change has been gradual, and we’re still not quite where we want to be with it, but we are working on it.  I will admit it does feel a little awkward sometimes saying things like pussy, cock, fuck, cum/cumming, etc., but at the same time it’s also exciting and fun!  It has added a new level of passion and fun into our sex life.

Recently we entered into a new phase of our “dirty talk” by introducing a new word.  We had read a few stories on here where, in the heat of the moment, the husband (and sometimes the wife) referred to the wife as “bitch.”  Now that word has always bothered me and even though I was saying things that would make my mother blush if she knew it, I couldn’t bring myself to say that word.  But my husband and I talked about it recently and he reminded me that meanings to words can and do change and we can assign meanings to words to use between the two of us.  So even though I typically thought “bitch” was derogatory and was the same as calling someone a “jerk” we talked about how we could redefine it.  This is what we came up with:

Bitch (noun): 1. a wife who is sexually confident and aggressive. 2. a wife who knows what she wants sexually with her husband and gets it.  3. a hot wife who turns her husband on.

So just recently we have started to incorporate this word into our vocabulary.  We are trying to use these words both inside and outside the bedroom (But only with each other and only between ourselves).  We will use it in text messages too, but again only with each other.  And we are careful to not use these words in anger or frustration towards each other or anyone else.  These are only sexual words to use in a sexual context with only each other.

But we have hit a wall and I wanted to ask for everyone’s help with something.  We were trying to come up with a dirty word for me to call my husband that is equivalent to “bitch” for me.  And we just simply cannot come up with anything that has that same punch to it.  So I wanted to ask for everyone’s help in coming up with something.  Ladies, what “dirty” sexual names do you call your husband in the heat of the moment?  Does anyone have any suggestions?  It needs to be something I can call my husband in the heat of the moment that communicates raw, unleashed sexual passion.  We’ve been using “bitch” in this way: He will say “Fuck me, bitch” and I will say “Fuck your bitch.”

So what is something we can use to refer to my husband?  So that I can say to him, “Fuck me you ____!”  The only thing we could think of was “bastard” but to me it just doesn’t have the same punch to it as bitch.  So we’re calling on our Marriage Heat friends to help us.  Any ideas/thoughts would be appreciated.  Thanks!

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21 replies
  1. Blondie says:

    This was great! So glad you wrote this! I feel the same way and I am so glad you guys are having fun spicing things up with dirty talk. I’ve called Josh a “son-of-a-bitch” during sex before 😛 lol But I think I’ve called him other colorful things as well. haha I just can’t remember always what I say when I orgasm…

    • sexymama2103 says:

      LOL…Son of a bitch sounds intriguing. I’ll have to try it! Maybe you could ask your husband what you call him in the heat of the moment. Maybe he could help jog your memory. LOL! I would love to hear what else you say and call him. 🙂

  2. Silver says:

    I really like it when Lord X refers to my vagina as a “cunt” for some reason. I liked this post, sexymama! You go girl! I actually don’t think I call Lord X anything but his real name during sex though, but I like getting called “bitch” by him during sex too.

    • sexymama2103 says:

      I’m glad you liked it! I don’t think we’ve tried cunt yet. We’ll have to add that to the vocabulary and try it. 😉

  3. smitten says:

    If I may I would like to say a few words about the science of men and women in reply to sexymama. You might think it is boring but it would help a lot of married couples if they knew the reasons why women and women and men are men. I could write a long dissertation and enjoy every minute of it but suffice it to say I don’t think it would be appreciated.
    Women have an abundance of the hormones estrogen and oxytocin; men have these hormones in lesser amounts. This abundance of estrogen and oxytocin causes the woman to be soft and nurturing and more sociable. Women also have testosterone which gives them pubic hair and a small penis called the clitoris. Remarkably we all start out as an embryo with a penis and when the female genes kick in it withdraws to what we know as a clitoris and when the male genes kick it it continues to develop into a penis. Men have less estrogen and oxytocin and an abundance of testosterone which causes them to be stronger, more aggressive, and less sociable.
    Women enjoy spreading their legs and getting on hands and knees and offering themselves for their man and men enjoy mounting and and opening the package and penetrating.
    What ever words you use that hits these genetic markers will work; they don’t have to be words that are used in vulgarity in the general public.
    “Take me. Fill me, Big Boy!” This says a lot. I am big and strong and a curious, mischievous boy that likes to explore, taste, unwrap, and indulge.

  4. Happy-Spouse says:

    Love reading your story, my wife & I just started talking dirty to each other. Being a Christian I have often wonder if it was alright doing that & would fill guilty about doing that. After reading some of the stories from Marriage Heat it has put my mind at ease.I think it spices up the marriage & I think it helps you to switch from the kids to work & so on to the point were you can have a fantastic relationship with your spouse. Thank you for sharing your story.

  5. Lovinghusband says:

    I enjoyed your writing sexymama. We have had some similar journeys.

    I don’t know how helpful this will be – but I will add something of our testimony. My wife and I both have never used the “F” word in public – ever! I think of it as the “F” word in any other context besides sex! It is a mockery of a beautiful use of a word that describes the pure, sexual passion between a husband and wife. Fucking is not dirty! Talking about fucking is not dirty. Sexting a spouse about fucking is not dirty.

    In our marriage bed, fucking is not dirty. Saying “fuck” is not dirty. It is not the “F” word in bed. When we talk sexually it is not dirty talk. It is wonderful, sensual communication. It is a word made holy for our sex. “Fuck” means fuck! It never means I stubbed my toe or hit my finger with a hammer. It doesn’t mean I’m really extra mad at you. It isn’t a universal adjective for whatever else someone may be talking about. Fuck is holy – set apart for our sexual life together. We are not naive about how the world uses it. The truth is: The world doesn’t have a license from God to own the word fuck. This doesn’t mean that we don’t need to handle it with care.

    When “fuck” is used in our marriage – it is talking sexy. I personally don’t even want to give in to the notion that this is Christian “dirty” talk. It isn’t dirty!!! It is erotic. It is penetratingly intimate. It is over-the-top exciting. It is superlatively personal. Yet, in taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ – I am not willing to put this in the category of dirty.

    Someone might say, “there is no getting around it – it is just dirty”.

    My reply is that the most basic meaning of fuck is to have sexual intercourse. It is certainly more titillating to hear “fuck me” than “please stick your genital appendage into my recessed genital area”.

    I don’t want to think the word “fuck” is okay – just because a bunch of Christians on MH feel free to do it. This is not about a sex poll. We are not to get our moral compass from the majority on any subject. Don’t get me wrong. I am heartened by the fact that other people – who love Christ and the Word of God, and have the same values that I have – also practice the same kinds of sexual intimacy that my wife and I do. We do take comfort in not being so different than other God loving Christians.

    That said, is there NO word limits? I could never rename my wife’s pussy “Hitler” or “Bin Laden”. That sounds ridiculous – and it is – but it also makes the point that there are some words that seem nonredeemable. My wife could never say, “Let me suck on your beautiful, hard Stalin”. Those words have no other neighborhood (at the present). They are part of the linguistic ghetto – and seem to have no hope of edifying usage.

    What about “bitch”? I think this is more of a possibility of being used in an edifying way because of its “new neighborhood”. For some couples, this is now a synonym for “I’m your voluntary sex slave – use me for your pleasure”.
    In this usage – it is not dirty. Because of its other connotations, it does also bring an edginess that can excite.

    Yet, any husband or wife that used words that would be taken as put downs by their spouse – it would be sinful. Thus, a couple has to be drinking from the same dictionary and thesaurus. If they are not, then they are not going to be received as loving. That might not be their intention – but this underlies the need for communicating what we mean! This shows the need for constant communication.

    All of this is also exciting. We don’t stay the same. As we grow in the Lord, He grants us wisdom in how to walk carefully in these sexual fields. Yes, it takes great care. There is some risk involved. Yet, our obedient risk-taking is rewarded with wonderful new vistas of sexual oneness.

    Our vocabulary is always expanding – Our calling as Christ’s people is to use it for His glory and our spouse’s edification. So, just as we learn new sexual moves and variations of old one’s – we also learn how to use language in ways that both edifies and excites! Commit yourselves wholly to the Lord and enjoy!!

    • HornyHubby says:

      Great point! Looking up the true definition of fuck is what opened the door for us to start using it. It primarily means to have sex. So when it’s used in the bedroom it is used in it’s proper context. When it’s used in anger, that’s not it’s primary definition so the case could be made that it isn’t being used properly when it’s used that way. Concerning the rest of your post I thought of two scriptures that would apply. 1 Timothy 4:1-2: Everything God created is good and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer. So fuck is good if it is received with thanksgiving. And I think everyone on this site certainly is thankful for that word! LOL! I know I am! The next verse is Titus 1:15 which tells us: to the pure, all things are pure. So for us as Christians, we are pure before God. So to us, all things are pure. This includes fuck, rough sex, bdsm, oral, whatever. So if we receive everything with thanksgiving, it is consecrated and our purity purifies it, making it pure for us.

  6. hornyGG says:

    OK, I must confess, I am a real bitch who really loves to fuck! Lol. I am so bad and Ben loves it! Great post! Thank you so much! God bless and stay horny!

    • ladygarden says:

      OK, this girl likes to fuck; she enjoys sucking her husband’s tasty cock; I yell at my man to fuck me harder; I tell him to let it go when he is shooting deep into my pussy or down my throat; I encourage him to slap me in on the ass when he is doing me doggy style and pulling my pony as we watch ourselves got at it in the mirror; I adore how he eats my hoo and makes me scream his name in uncontrollable bliss; I am his dirty little cock sucker and he is my fucking big boy stud.

      Thank you for your red hot post sexymama! 🙂

    • hornyGG says:

      Ladygarden, how nice to hear from my “lil sis ” again! I have truly missed you two. Welcome back my dear friends! Hot comment there girl! I whole hearted feel the same. God bless and stay horny! Xoxo

    • sexymama2103 says:

      I’m glad you enjoyed my post. In addition to HornyGG, you are also an inspiration of what a horny bitch is like and I hope to be just as much of a horny bitch as you are. 🙂

    • JazzdBoutH&N says:

      Ok, that was HOT! Heather is getting better and better at the fun talk. I’m a lucky man.

    • sexymama2103 says:

      Yes, HornyGG, you are definitely a horny bitch that loves to fuck. LOL! I have been able to see that in your stories. And believe me, you are also a big inspiration to me. I hope to one day be just as much of a horny bitch as you are!

  7. hornyGG says:


    ” Big dicked stud muffin ” is a cute yet sexy name. Early in our Marriage I would sometimes say that to Ben. ” Fuck me! You big dicked stud muffin!”

    Just thought I would throw that in, haven’t called him that in a while. May sound somewhat silly, but guys love to have their ego stroked! Anyway, just a thought. God bless and stay horny my friend.

  8. StillLikeNewlyweds says:

    This is a great story of learning, growing, and communication. I’m commenting primarily to draw new attention to it, but I loved the content and the comments. The idea of redefining a word for a couples use is a great idea, if for no other reason than the communication that must take place for that to happen. Words are all different for everyone, and sometimes there is just too much history or baggage to reclaim a word. Then it’s just not a word for that couple, and that’s ok.

  9. Krystal1965 says:

    Thank you for sharing. It helps to know that women raised to be a “good girl” can experience freedom in this area. I like the suggestions you give in this story to look at the true meaning of words and not just what the world has made them out to be.

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