Questions for the crowd.
So I”m Mary Margaret, my hubby is Jonah. We have been readers for a while now, and I only just decided to actually get an account. My husband probably won”t comment, he is a bit of a Luddite with technology. We started reading during my last pregnancy, I was looking up pregnancy sex, and came across a story on the site. What a refreshing place! The pregnant sex section is probably still my favourite.
Anyway, I have a few questions I would love your feedback on. I so value the sex positive attitude from a Christian perspective and I know there is a lot of wisdom here.
1) Anal. I love being rimmed and fingered, but I”m worried about anal, and I was always told online casino’s it was sodomy. I have heard mixed things from Christians, and I want to give this gift to my hubby, but I don”t want to feel dirty about it.
2) I read a story a while back about a couple who had sex in a friend”s gym, and the friend saw them on her security camera and watched for a while. I got so turned on by this, and it told my husband, and he had mixed thoughts. Part of him thought it shouldn”t be hot, and that it shouldn”t happen, but then he thought, well, they were married the friend is married, it is a good thing they were doing, and the friend used that arousal with her husband. What should we think here? Is it ok to be watched, and is it ok that I was turned on by the idea, if all involved are married and with their own spouse, and only “lusting” for their spouse?
Thanks for taking the time to read our questions, in the words of GG, stay horny, and God bless. Love you all and value the insight.
I’ve seen anal stories on here, but personally I don’t believe it is natural, maybe it is sodomy. That part, if you will, is also unclean, so personally I wouldn’t, but I think it’s best you take it up with The Lord on that one.
As for the friend who watched in the gym, well i think that sex is a very private and exclusive matter and yes, we do share stories on here, but I think that’s different from watching just because you can’t see the writers faces.
Don’t think that i’m trying to condemn you, Mary I’m really not. And I could be wrong, so pray to God and seek His perspective. God bless you!
Hey Mary!
I love your questions, and as you know you’re going to get a lot of different answers when it comes to these two.
Coming from me, when it comes to anal play it’s something I’ve pondered myself. What the bible specifically says is that homosexuality is an abomination to God. That being said, between a monogamous married couple of course it’s a toss up. It is something that you feel you want to give your husband I say go for it. You want to be very careful about that though, because it isn’t the typical place for sex and their are dangers to it. But we were all created for one person, our spouse. Our entire body belongs to them because it is theirs as theirs is ours. As this site generally says, especially in the kink section, it’s all about communication with your partner. I read “The Hotel Part 2” by Paul and they mention anal in this story and Paul says, “I noticed then during a close up that the woman was being screwed quite nicely by the man in her backdoor. She certainly seemed to be enjoying it. “I wonder if that feels as good as it looks?” Karen asked me. Not sure how to answer I said “The bed in marriage is undefiled and if it’s something that gives you pleasure and brings two people closer why not?”
It’s a toss up. I look at it like this, just like some men like for their wives to do a little anal play on them doesn’t make the homosexual. I remember a snarky friend of mine ask me one time that if God didn’t create gays why is the man’s G-spot up the butt? I wondered and wondered and I felt like the spirit was saying that it was supposed to be for the wife to discovered because when you think about it, it’s basically an instant ejaculation button for the guys.
I will say it like this, like Paul said, just because the world has perverted it doesn’t mean that God hasn’t given it a blessing. Pray about it, talk to your husband about it, and if it gives you pleasure then go for it, but read about the safety precautions and how to get started because he can’t just go in. And all that to say that my wife and I have tired it. Once, that was in the second year of our marriage. Two years later we haven’t done it again because I’m afraid. While in the middle of it some air escaped into the condom and put to much pressure on her and it hurt her for a moment. I don’t want to see her hurt, but she’s told me that she did enjoy it and wants to do it again. So yeah, it takes practice and it can get to the point where it will be very easy for you to take your man, but it’s going to be a learning curve.
As for the other question. It’s great that the friend used it for her husband but that can be dangerous to want to be watched and to watch because that’s when it can become pornographic. So you’re turned on by it, honestly, I don’t see anything wrong with that, we’ve all been in those situations where we might have almost gotten caught or did get caught and there is that sense of danger that shows up and their is nothing wrong with the feeling, but to go looking to get caught or to catch someone is simply pornographic in my opinion. It’s something I’ve even been conflicted with myself. I was following a page on twitter called SexualGifs and mostly it’s advice but every once in a while they do show a little sex gif and I would share it with the wife and say I want to do that to you, or we should try that, but there are also times my flesh wants to watch it to just watch it.
You have to be careful with what the eye sees, and it’s something I even mentioned in my post about masturbation and reading marriage heat stories. We’re going to be turned on but we need to curve that attention to the spouse and not focus on the people in it.
But having the desire to be watched, I’m going to honestly say it’s wrong. Think of it in these terms, a room full of people are having sex, their all married, but their all only with their spouse but their all in front of each other having sex. And while we can fool ourselves into believing we’re looking to maybe see a position that we could try, we’re also looking because we want to see how Suzie’s boobs sway, or how Mark pounds his wife’s ass. And soon ideas become envy and suddenly he’s asking her and she’s asking him “Why don’t you do that to me?” Something I’ve struggled with even reading Marriage heat stories from the wives POV and the things they do for their husbands, and I’m like, damn why can’t my wife do that for me? And it’s not like I don’t ask, and it’s not like maybe she wouldn’t, but my problem is I have to ask instead of it being spontaneous, but this isn’t about me.
Be careful with that desire to watch or be watched, stay prayed up on that one because that can become an unhealthy obsession real quick, and this is coming from someone who it’s a daily habit to come to marriage heat because my pornography itch comes back. Which is why I step away from sexual gifs when my sexting becomes obsession for a couple of days.
And back to Anal, I’m not saying I won’t do it with the wife again. I’ve licked her asshole, I’ve slid my finger in during sex to let her know that the door is still opened but she patiently wait’s for me to be ready again because I’m worried I’ll hurt her. But it all comes down to communication.
And one more point on watching, if it happens, it happens. You can’t control other people watching…much like my wife I couldn’t control my daughter walking in right as I climaxed during a blowjob…thank God she’s two and we were at an angle so she only saw my backside…But you can control making a situation where you can be seen. In a gym…come on that’s just asking to be watched. And you should only want your husband to see what you do to him and what he does to you, plain and simple.
Hope my long winded answer helps.
In my opinion ..anal is Ok when you are comfortable with it and want to try it. It can be nice and is a different experience to me. We do it I would say once every couple of months and is something we both enjoy on occasion.
About people watching you. .. This is a fantasy of mine too, but in a more broad way. I like to have sex places where people could possibly catch us, not where people are definitely watching. Its the getting caught in the act that I think is a turn on.
I believe these things are OK when you and your spouse have agreed that they are comfortable for the both of you.
Hope this helps!
I agree with you Christie 100%. Be free and explore every now and then.
Hey Mary, I believe to purposely be watched is wrong, not that I believe exhibitionism is necessarily a sin in its self. However, doing such an act can lead someone to sinful thoughts or actions . Lust outside of marriage is a sin however .
We as Christians should not take part in such an act, though the fantasy of such an act is exciting. Fucking or masturbating in front of a mirror is a good way to live out that fantasy without leading others to sin.
The story you are referring to, the couple did not realize the security cameras were still on, so they did not purposely intend to be watched. I will be interested to see what others think. This is just my opinion, right or wrong! God bless you my friend and by all means stay horny.
Great questions Mary. Being married with my wife for 7 years, anal is something that you both have to be comfortable with. There is nothing dirty about it. It’s pleasure for the both of you. My wife enjoys being rimmed and fingered as well but is on the fence as well. It’s something that you just have to feel in the moment about. There is nothing wrong with watching or being watched. It should be a turn on in my opinion. I think it spices up the marriage.
All, thanks for the answers so far! I love being able to have these discussions here. A brief update. In the interim between writing this and it being published, I offered my butt up to my husband. He is such a gentle man, and he very gently and sensually opened me up to anal. He started with tongue and fingers and we worked up to it. His patience, tenderness and love made it wonderful.
For the exhibitionism question. GG, upcoming, Christie, and Mike, thank you so much for your insight. To provide maybe a more clear idea of why I ask, my best friend is a reader here as well, and she had read the same story. We will be going on a trip as the two couples, and she wanted to know what I thought of sharing a hotel room, and if having sex in the same room was something we might consider. She said that they have done it before, and that it isn’t an issue for them at all. But they like the idea of being watched. GG, if I understand your point, the issue is causing others to stumble. If they have assured me it isn’t a stumbling issue, does that change things?
Oh, and Harper too! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to forget to thank you!
Oh I didn’t notice but thanks anyway 🙂 And you’re very welcome
Mary, I personally wouldn’t do it. This is an issue that you and your husband should discuss carefully and make a decision that feels right to the both of you. My suggestion is also to pray about it. Obviously your friend enjoys being watched and watching.
I forgot to comment on your anal sex question. Ben and I occasionally enjoy anal sex. He too is gentle and loving. We always take precautions to make sure we are safe . As a matter of fact he butt fucked me a couple weeks ago. I enjoyed it. Well stay horny my dear and God bless.
Mary, I’m late on commenting on this, but I would stay away from staying in the same room (no offense to anyone here) but I feel like if you’re excited about being watched by or watching someone you personally know have sex, it could lead to swinging, lust, and even issues in your friendship in the future. I have a very close friend that sometimes I talk with about our sex lives (Mia, I’ve mentioned her before), but we definitely don’t want to defile each other’s marriage beds. I don’t want to or need a memory of having sex in front of my friend or vice versa. And as to the anal question, Lord X and I have a lot of fun with anal every once in awhile, but it definitely is important to research, research, research to do it safely.
I am in agreement with you two, Silver and GG, doing it in front of a friend… not such a good idea in my opinion.
While I think it is important to ask the question if something is a sin or not, I also think it is important to ask the question of why God would say it is a sin….because the thing is, most of the commandments given in the old testament make a lot of sense if you think about them in the context of the day and place they were written. For instance, God commanded Abraham to be circumcised. Today, we can surmise that that command was given to protect the Israelite men from nasty infections. It really didn’t effect the Jews’ spiritual state, it just helped them to be healthy.
So I think it might be helpful to think about anal sex this way as well. I am not a Biblical expert, but sodomy, I believe is a reference to the sin of Sodom and Gomorah and involves the idea of anal sex via rape. As far as I know, there are no other specific references to anal sex in the Bible. So I’m not sure that looking at the Bible helps us out too much in this case. Because I assume that if you and your husband do have anal sex it isn’t going to be rape. 🙂
But knowing what we know about how God’s laws usually make good, common healthy sense, we might be able to make some guesses about anal sex.
I heard recently that the American Medical Association came out as being against anal sex. Unfortunately, I did not read an article about this and I just did a search and I couldn’t find anything. But if it is true, I would imagine that for a secular institution, such a stand would be very controversial….so they must have had some pretty good reasons for taking the stand.
Since I couldn’t find this supposed article about the AMA, I did find a helpful article on WebMD about it. So here’s the link:
http://www.webmd.com/sex/anal-sex-health-concerns
Basically, what it boils down to is that anal sex can be really dangerous for the receiver. And while there are ways to make it safer, and it is certainly safer in a monogamous relationship than it would be otherwise, it is probably impossible to remove all the risks completely.
I know for my husband and I, anal sex was on the table a couple years ago. We even tried it once, but then we started reading about all the horrible medical problems that can result from it. Knowing what it could do to me totally turned him off, and he was the one who took the idea off the table.
I guess my thought is that God would probably not want us to engage in acts that could be physically or emotionally harmful to our spouse. So as long as anal sex poses a threat to one partner, my personal feeling is that it should be avoided.
It very much so changes nothing, God intended sex to between one man and on. Woman in the privacy of their own bed, honestly, this a friend I would be careful being around because even if they say it doesn’t cause them to stumble its still not what God wants, and its still pornography. They may not be getting paid for it but it’s still pornography married or not. Two people are having sex to be viewed by others. And like GG said a mirror or even videotaping yourselves to go back and watch later is the way to go. Or masturbating and making your hubby watch can help quell those emotions. But I’m just going to say absolutely not in any circumstances should someone watch you or you watch them.
Also I’ll add this. In a non sinful world we were meant to be naked in front of everyone and I can imagine that maybe there is a possibility where seeing each other would have been like reading the stories where we praise each other for the love that we share with our spouses and only our spouse but that’s not the case we do live in a sinful world and on top of that our sin plain and simple wants us to want what we can’t have. And they can swear up and down that its not a stumbling block but people who specifically look to be watched there is a spiritual problem there that needs to be fixed. Much like I said, I know I’m not the only one but sometimes reading the stories I get envious of what some of the couples do and I have to step back and pray about it because that type of envy can cause dissension in my marriage and it doesn’t need to be like that and watching most definitely has the same effect, just think about how seeing a burger might make you want a burger or seeing shoes make you want those shoes but hearing or reading I got new shoes or I got a burger today can have a similar but very different effect. Seriously, I caution this couple as a friend because that’s how Satan has always worked. He says a little doubt to get one to fall. All the back to the garden he said “did God really say you would die if you are from this tree?” And it could start from you watching them and them watching you and then suddenly they want to give you advice on how to do it better, and what better way to do that than to show you or demostrate or hands on.
I speak from experience, growing up on pornography I watched to learn so I could please my wife and while I did learn I know that still wasn’t right now that I am married because I find my own imagination is sufficient and I’ve done things I never saw after all those years watching.
But main advice I can give is to really pray and pray with your husband about this because this to me is straight up dangerous.
Hi Mary,
I care first and foremost about what can be found in Scripture. Of course, we must apply the most sanctified reason we have, along with wisdom gleaned from others who are well-taught in the Scriptures. I am so grateful for the wise friends on MH – yet, I must say that I always take what they say and see if it fits with Scripture. Many times, I’ve found the thoughts to be insightful about thing I’ve not thought about as much as them.
That said, I don’t tell people to pray about things that the Bible clearly says are wrong. I don’t tell my children to “pray about if it is right for them to have sex before marriage”. I don’t tell neighbors to “pray about whether they should steal.” I want to respond to your two questions:
1) Of course, you are not asking a question that is so obvious. Yet, I want to point you to something in Romans 1. I encourage you to read Romans 1:18-32 – but I’m going to focus on two verses briefly:
1:26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.
If we only think of sticking a penis into an asshole as unnatural and dishonoring – I think we are missing something from what God says. He says women were with other women doing things “contrary to nature”. This means that a woman sticking her tongue in another woman’s pussy or asshole is unnatural – even though it fits with no pain or discomfort. A woman sucking on another woman’s breast is unnatural. A woman erotically kissing another woman is unnatural. The point doesn’t just have to do with something not potentially fitting well within that orifice.
The same goes for men with men. The issue was not just that jamming a penis in another man’s butt is not a good fit – it is deemed “shameless”. Why? It is not supposed to be a man with a man. It is not supposed to be a woman with a woman. This is God’s will. It is God’s design. No matter what the world says about the issue being if two people love one another. God is interested in people’s sexual orientation and practice. People think they sound so hip and sophisticated today in saying in a libertarian pride: “I don’t care what people do in their bedrooms.” If you believe the Bible and embrace God’s authority – you know that practicing homosexual and heterosexual sinners don’t inherit the kingdom of God (1st Corinthians 6:9).
I think Eva (above) was on the right track in speaking to the issue at Sodom. The issue was not so much about the anatomy. Lesbian women can use toys on each other or on themselves that could potentially harm their butt – but, for the most part – the things they sinfully do in sinful, lesbian sex is not invasive. The issue is not about what they are doing as much as it is about who they are doing it with.
By God’s sovereign decree, this issue is covenantal. Sex is an act of love that is to be entered into by a man and woman who are covenanted together by an oath. They have made promises to one another before God to be one flesh. They are married.
Now, all that said – the health side of this has to be considered, too. I know a wife who is very small in height and stature who married a loving husband who is a giant. I don’t know anything about their genital sizes – but I would imagine that they had to be very careful at the beginning when it came to cock in pussy intercourse. I had to stretch my virgin wife out manually before the first time I entered her. I agree with what everyone is saying about researching, cleanliness, and carefulness – in regards to anal sex. I have never fully entered my wife’s ass with my cock. She cums really hard from my tongue and finger in her butt. I love it doing it to her – and she loves to receive it. Frankly, we pillow talk like I’m going to butt fuck her – but never go all the way. We probably never will. We just don’t feel totally comfortable – but it is not because we think there is anything sinful with it. My wife takes my cock in her mouth and sometimes way to the back of her throat. I have to be careful there as well. I don’t want to hurt her throat. But, we don’t abstain because of potential dangers – we are just careful. I think the same kind of carefulness is needed for those who desire to have anal sex (with the dick all the way in). When in doubt – don’t!!
2) I sense that you already know that you would be turned on by having your friends in the same room having sex with each other. I am so glad to see the universal response in the comments above: Don’t do it!
No good can come from it. I benefit from so many on MH. Yet, it would be the mistake of our lives it we gathered at some location for an “MH Conference” and all had sex in the hotel ballroom – only with our spouses.
We would now have mental images of all the people in ways that would do us damage. You would have that with this couple – and even face greater temptation to swing. Love your neighbor as yourself and get separate rooms. If I remember, that earlier story in the gym – the couple wasn’t aiming to be seen. The person checking the video feed – didn’t go into it to see what was there (if memory serves me). If you shared a room – you would purposely be aiming for a kind of experience that you should not.
Mary, I’m so glad you want to please the Lord. Enjoy your marriage bed to the fullest with your husband! Rock his world by being your sexy self – but don’t use another couple to get him and yourself off. You won’t regret it.
I so appreciate your the humble spirit – in asking the MH family to give answers. I hope you will not feel any guilt in enjoying your husband playing with your butt. Have fun and be safe. Your covenant marriage bed is safe and secure. God bless you both!! LH
The bible has specific prohibitions in it, Anal Sex is not one of them, but it does warn against degrading the other person. If you are one of the small percentage of women who enjoy this activity (I would say 10 to 15%) and are aware of the health concerns then the Bible does not prohibit it. So, enjoy it. My wife enjoys only light stimulation in that area and does not want penetration.
The second scenario is trickier…it happened to my wife and I…when we were younger. We were at a wedding staying in a large house, we retired to our room for some “couple time”. we did not know that some of the men were smoking cigars on the deck and could see her riding me to a huge orgasm. Later they all (Not strong Christians) told me the details they saw. Big turn on for my wife, although she acting quite embarrassed. She still talks about it 20 years later.
It was not intentional – so we checked it off as a once off memory. Purposely revealing your naked body to arouse another man is dangerous and prohibited in the Bible.
But I applaud your spirit of adventure. Keep trying new things and use the 3X rule…
First time – does it have any potential, if not drop it, if it does, then…
Second time – refine it…try to figure out the parts of it that worked and cut out the parts that did not
Third time – relax and enjoy it, or decide it was a worthwhile experiment but not right at this time, remember that’s bodies change over time and it may be better in the future.
Well the wifey has a landing strip. Not a fan of the bush. I’m a huge fan of pleasing her so less hair the better
What’s the difference between anal sex and anal play…..absolutely nothing. If a couple likes anal play or penetration, go for it. Just be careful health wise. As far as the hotel room, that’s a big NO. It may sound enticing, but it opens too many doors going down the wrong road.
All, I LOVE the feedback. You all are so wonderful. No judgement and a caring, loving, answer. This is why I love the sight and why I asked the questions here.
As an update. I think we have decided, at least for now, that the sex in the same room isn’t a good idea. I trust my hubby, and I know that this absolutely wouldn’t lead to swinging or sharing, but we just don’t feel like its a good idea. The friends who wanted to do this got a little bit pushy with it, and that made it an easy decision. It seemed like they really wanted to be watched. My friend started showing me pictures of she and her husband together, and then she showed one to my husband the other day while we were all together. She said it was to make us more comfortable with the idea, but it had the opposite affect for sure. I think we will be limiting our time with that couple. It’s not a good or godly relationship anymore.
I think to he decision we have come to is this. Neither of us mind the idea do being seen. It is a turn on. We are absolutely one hundred percent committed to each other, and we are proud of our mate and how they look. We have eyes only for each other. We are also not threatened by seeing someone else engage in sex within marriage. It is a natural, good thing. But we refuse to use or look at pornography, and will not seek out a situation like this. All of this said, if it were to happen that we were around another couple, and both of us ended up having sex, and we were to either see or be seen, that is fine. But is not something we will look for or hope to do, or seek out in any way.
That said, I might write a story about a fantasy involving a situation like was proposed to get it out of my own system. I’m not sure if that would be something I could post though.
Would love to hear all of your thoughts! Again, thank you all so much. This so validated this sight for me, and all of your advice has been a godsend.
Wow! I’d say you’d dodged a bullet with that couple, Mary! Maybe for you it wouldn’t have been a stumbling block, but if someone is that set on YOU watching like that… It just seems fishy… Like they are trying to get you to swing or something. Lol okay, so I wanted be honest say that, being watched would be a turn on to me and we have been watched before accidentally during a vanilla encounter, but I also know myself and I think that it would be a wrong to purposefully be watched, because although I wouldn’t be wanting sex with someone else and am not insecure about how we look cause we look hot if I do say so myself, I just think where would my heart be at when I did such a thing? Would I be wanting the viewers to be lusting after my husband or I? Would I be purposefully stirring up jealousy or lust or covetousness?
All’s well that ends well. But just to cast my vote, I am similar to Thoughtfulwriter. I don’t think there is an inherent sin in having same room sex. But precautions are wise. The idea that sex is done in 100% privacy is not a Biblical idea, it’s an American idea. Many poorer nations have a single-room house with sometimes extended family all in the same room. Think of native Americans and tepees. If procreation was still happening, they surely were not abstinent.
Now of course the example before us is different. But not necessarily sinful. What if 2 couples had sex in the same room in pitch black darkness? Is that wrong? If you take the “see and be seen” out of the equation, then we can begin to see that the shared sexual experience might not be so “dangerous.” So if the lights are on, then it’s very subjective where the right-wrong line is. I believe it’s more about what each person can see without lusting for a non-spouse, and I think we all are at different places on that.
I have never had same-room sex, but the idea is not anti-Biblical. I would be open to reading fictitious (or true) stories about this, as long as it didn’t involve lust or infidelity.
We’ve done lots of anal play, but no anal sex yet. But it’s all good. One day!
1 Corinthians 6:12 says: “Everything it permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.” (NIV)
The concern here is: Just because you CAN do something doesn’t mean you should. It may be possible for two adult couples to have sex with their own spouse in the same room. You may say we’re all adults, we know what body parts grown adults have, we know how sex works, etc so what’s the big deal?
But not everything is beneficial. And with some things you don’t always know how you will react to it until you are in the moment. And my concern would be this: Let’s say you get a room with two beds and watch each other have sex. And that would be visually stimulating to anyone. It would be like watching “live” porn. There is a certain erotic pull to that. But is it beneficial? Just like with porn you are putting the focus on something other than your spouse to get aroused. And just like with porn, these things tend to have a progressive nature to them. So what turned you on yesterday doesn’t turn you on today.
For instance, let’s say you watch each other have sex only when you vacation together. But then you realize it’s been a few months since the vacation and you want to do it again. So you invite them over to do it in your home. Then you say, “We want to get a closer look so let’s all get in the same bed but stay with our spouses.” So now you’re in the same bed but you think it’s okay since you’re still only having sex with your spouse. But you know there will be some accidental touching. A leg brushes up against another leg, etc. And that provides a new thrill. For a while.
Then that becomes routine and you need a new thrill so you add purposely touching each other into the mix. So while you’re having sex with your husband and the other couple is right next to you, the other man touches your boobs or your husband touches the other woman’s boobs. You fondle the other man’s balls while he’s inside your friend, etc. Then the next step is to say: Since we’ve seen each other naked and have sex, and we’ve touched each other, what’s a little light swapping? So you do what’s called “soft swapping” where you swap partners for everything other than intercourse. And now your friends husband is doing oral sex on you and bringing you to orgasm and you watch your friend pleasure your husband, etc. And technically at that point you would be swinging and the next step is to say, “We’re all adults and friends and we’ve done everything else, why not try it?” And then you do a full swap.
Now you may say you would never do that, but MANY people have said similar things. Many people have said they would never have an affair and then did. Many people said they would never go to far with a boyfriend/girlfriend and then they did. There is a progressive nature to these things. What was erotic and stimulating yesterday doesn’t do it for you today. That’s why porn is such an issue. After a while, seeing the same thing in porn just doesn’t turn you on anymore. So you need something more extreme. So it starts out looking at pics of nude women. Then it is pics of sex. Then videos of sex. Then it’s videos of more than just two people having sex. (Threesomes, groups, etc) and it just keeps going from there.
And the fact that your friends were so pushy about it would also concern me. I think there’s a difference in finding out after the fact that someone saw you and getting a little thrill out of it versus seeking someone to watch you.
And the story you mentioned was like that. The couple didn’t purposefully seek to be watched. They just had spontaneous sex and afterward found out there were cameras. (So be aware of your surroundings and look for cameras if you do something like that) But they didn’t try to be seen.
I read an article just the other day that said some researcher wanted to know the difference between good sex vs great sex. And she found that great sex is when you focus only on your partner and 100% on your partner. And the article was discussing the question of whether or not a couple should watch porn together to spice things up.
So people think that watching porn will improve their sex life, but the reality is that the opposite will happen. You will tend to compare yourself to the other couple and your sex won’t be as hot as theirs. So let’s say you do this and your friend is really loud-much louder than you. And that turns your husband on. So later when you’re home and alone again your husband wants you to be just as loud as she was. And if you can’t then he is disappointed in you. And then he thinks about her and how she looked and sounded and inevitably starts comparing you to her and here we go. Now your sex life isn’t great anymore.
Or the same could happen with you thinking about the other man. Plus what I mentioned before about the strong possibility it would lead to swinging. These things have a progressive nature to them and like a drug, the “dosage” has to be increased to get the same thrill as last time. So it’s inevitable. And it doesn’t matter whether you think you can handle it or not. you may be able to handle the first time, yes. Just like someone may be able to handle a little bit of drugs. But then they crave it and want to do it again. Then the same amount doesn’t do anything for them so they have to increase it. We become acclimated to what we are exposed to. So it’s inevitable that it would progress to a point where you would be full swap swingers with them. And then that couple wouldn’t be enough so you would need to find other new couples to do it with. And now you’re really in full swinger/open marriage mode and that never ends well.
So I would caution you (and anyone else who thinks they would like to be seen or see someone else) to never do this. Follow the logical train of thought and see yourself in full swinger mode or then having a meeting with the couple alone without your spouse or having an affair with the man of the other couple, etc. Going down this road will not lead you to anything good.
HornyHubby, WOW, that just explained my entire thought pattern on this subject!!!
We completely agree, HornyHubby. Completely agree. We have each other – who could ask for anything more.
And yes, we’ve taken our own photos and made our own videos, that we have secured on encrypted flash drives. They are for our own eyes only. We don’t want to see anyone else having sex, nor do we want to be seen.
Thanks for this terrific response, HH!
HornyHubby, both your comments are spot on! Bravo, sir! Just because something is exciting or “innocent” or promised not to lead further in the beginning doesn’t mean it won’t become something different over time. Most of the time that is how the Devil works. Baby steps into the wrong direction. I think Marriage Heat actually has a claus in their guidelines “that stories of multiple couples will not be accepted” and I stand with their logic on that. I also like how to you said something along the lines of that you have no idea really how it will affect you and what the outcome could be. This site is so powerful because it’s about monogamous bliss and how we don’t have to add other people to the equation in order to have a seriously hot sex life. My husband is more than enough for me, he fills my cup overflowing in every sense romantically and sexually lol. God bless you for writing this, HH, I read it to my husband and he says to tell you he agrees with you as well!
I got to thinking about this further after I sent in that last comment. If someone is going to say they enjoy watching and being watched, then why not have a section on the Marriage Heat website where we can submit videos in addition to stories? Then you could be guaranteed you would be watching married Christians and you would know that many people are watching you.
I think we can all agree that would turn this site away from its intended purpose and it would make it more of a porn site.
So if that’s the case with a video, wouldn’t that also apply to watching in person?
PREACH HH! Loved both your comments you detailed it better than I did in my earlier comments
I’m really late on this and was going to comment. But HH , Gina and I both agree that you nailed it brother. I have nothing else to say except thank you for posting and God bless.
I would never feel comfortable being watched….it is a private thing between my wife and I…… However the American Indians had no privacy as they shared their teepee with their family and thus had no privacy, but that never stopped them. Makes ME wonder how much privacy Adam and eve had from their children …..just a thought
I’m glad you brought that up, lynda and dave, and I think cultural stuff is important to think about when reviewing how things were done in the past. Yes, maybe during a different time period there wasn’t an issue with having sex in the same room as a group was meeting or people could have sex and wouldn’t be gawked or taken pictures of, but we can’t do that in modern society, it’s not how we work. In the past they used to do many things that are not our custom today.
Wow, the response here has been amazing. I am so thankful for this resource. You all are amazing. HH, thanks for your wisdom and way with words. I think that was great.
As an update, you all know that we said no. We appreciated their candour with us, and their level of comfort as friends, but it was the right decision for us to say no to them. Their pushiness in the end made that very clear. I didn’t know what I was in for until I saw her show my husband pictures of she and her husband together. I didn’t like that. It was an amazing fantasy, but the reality felt wrong. I was so impressed and turned on by how my husband handled it though. He was clear, diplomatic, and shielded me so well. Any other ladies love to see their man in action? Whew!
Anyway, so I wanted to know, in particular from the more established members, would this be an appropriate outlet for that fantasy? Writing a story to get the fantasy out? I know now, and I think that the response have outlined clearly why this shouldn’t happen in real life. Again, I want to be respectful, so I wanted to ask.
Love you all!
Mary M & Jonah
I think you should write it and post it. Shouldn’t this site have a way to email the person direct for advise or questions?? I would be in favor of that.
Hi Bootylicious,
Actually, I did answer the door naked once. I had the house to myself and so I was having a “naked day”. I find it really relaxing being nude. It also gives you instant access to all your goodies whenever the mood strikes ;-). Anyway, there was a knock at the door. I saw the FedEx truck parked out front so knew he was delivering a package. I was a bit panicked and was scrambling to find something to put on. I was going to head to the bedroom which was at the other end of the house to grab my robe when he knocked again. I knew that by the time I got my robe I would have missed him so I thought “Screw it! I don’t care! It’s just the human body.” So I just answered the door completely naked, tits and pussy on full display. I’m sure the deliveryman was totally shocked and taken aback but I acted completely nonchalant about it, like it was no big deal (I acted like I would if I had clothes on). I signed for the parcel and bid him a good day. And then I had a good laugh when I closed the door.
Oh, and I did take your October challenge. I’ve always wanted to try the bald look and your challenge was the little push I needed. Booty, I LOOOOOVVVE it!!! A smooth pussy is THE BEST! My husband went gaga for it when he saw it. He loves the look of my bald pussy and he loves how it feels. He wants to eat me every chance he gets. It’s awesome!! I’m one satisfied customer. Never going back to bush!
I submitted a fantasy story of this tonight as a way to kind of get the fantasy out of my system. My husband read it over before I submitted it and he loved it. We had to take a quick sex break before I could click submit. I hope it gets published, but regardless, it was a great exercise and led to some mind blowing orgasms with Jonah. Thanks to all that contributed their thoughts and wisdom on this thread. Love all around!
Looking forward to reading it. Thank you for writing it Mary!
1. I have never asked my wife for this because i would never want her to submit to it just to please me.
2. This one is so clearly pornography i’m wondering why it’s even a question.