How to I tell him about my masturbating while he was at work?
I love my husband. There is no question about that, we are soulmates and are amazing together.
My question is, how to I tell him about me masturbating while he was at work? He knows I have, but how instead of saying “Hi babe, how was your day? BTW I masturbated while you were at work.”
To me, that just isn’t very, well, romantic or arousing….
I want to be able to share it with him. I have never gone out of my way to tell him that I pleasured myself while alone wishing he was with me, but I know that if I could find the right way to tell him – sexy, romantic, arousing – then it would heighten our “highs.”
So how do I find the words to tell him so that it will be enjoyable for both of us?
Ideas?
I just text Walls a number….”2″ “3” “6” ….whatever…to signify how many orgasms I had. That always peaks his curiosity. 🙂
Good question. I find it hard to discuss my self pleasuring with my husband Trey as well. He knows I do, he has seen my vibrator. He claims he doesn’t, because I am all he needs. So I don’t really bring it up. Tough dilemma! Thanks for posting!
Are you refusing him when he comes home? Are you using porn to masturbate? If not, I think most husbands, like me, would LOVE to know that their wife is sexual and has needs. I especially would love to watch my wife masturbate and would even settle for hearing about it.
No refusing at all. We have the most amazing relationship. I just want to be able to tell him about it without sounding….corny or bland.
Write to him in a text or leave it in a letter it is way easier like that then when he brings it up then just talk about it in the open u and him but yes he wants to know what man would end
One thing to do is to just ask him how he would like to hear about it. He may have a preference you haven’t thought of yet.
Another thing is to skip the small talk and instead of “Hi how are you? BTW I just jilled off.” Skip the small talk and go right for the big news. One time my wife sent me a text message that said, “Guess what your hot wife just did?” I sent a text back: “What?” She wrote back, “I just jilled off.”
So that might work. Send a text saying something like “Guess what?” or “Guess what your wife just did?” Something along those lines. Then when he replies, say, “I just jilled off with the vibrator and it was GOOD!” I know I would enjoy that conversation with my wife! I’m sure your hubby would enjoy that with you too.
Thanks!
I gather that you would prefer that you didn’t masturbate – maybe you feel guilty, I know my conscience doesn’t tolerate masturbation. The Bible has a lot to say about taking your conscience seriously.
I think i would suggest pre-empting your sex drive: jump on him first thing in the morning before work. Or, visit him at work & give him a lunch break to remember.
There is something to be said for self control too (the Bible tends to be in favor of self control): call him & tell him how much you need him & take him the moment he gets home.
It is hard to say. As a man, I know my hormones function entirely differently from my bride’s.
I love it when my wife masturbates. She’s bashful about it, but shares sometimes. Never any details… I find it unbelievably sexy to know she’s been horny. You might be surprised by your husband. One thing I know – we are closer when we share about our masturbating vs keeping it a secret.
forlife- You said, “I find it unbelievably sexy to know she’s been horny.” And I just have to comment on that, because as a woman, this simple truth about my own husband was one that it took my quite awhile to actually realize. It’s so simple and yet so profound.
I love to watch my wife masturbate. Although becasue of past shame she doesn’t feel comfortable doing it alone quite yet. she quite enjoys doing it in front of me. I often fantasize about her pleasuring herself alone with the visuals she has supplied me with over the years. Maybe you can do a little stiptease for him with a “view only, no touch” mastubation show at the end. If he enjoys that, you can open up a conversation about how you sometimes like to pleasure yourself thinking about him during the day. Ask him if he thinks it is ok and would like to know when and how you are doing it in the future. He might not be ready yet but again he may love the idea. If not now at least you have opened the discussion up and he may be thinking about it for a few days and then want to talk about it later. Hope it works out! God Bless.
Excellent advice SpringLovers. Your situation with your wife sounds very similar to my own. My wife and I are evolving and each day getting closer to sharing alone time masturbation stories with each other. The anticipation is exciting in itself. Amen brother.
Thanks everyone! Honestly I can say that I have some good ideas now how to approach the situation next time! (I am by no means ashamed of myself or of masturbating. My husband turns me on immensely and yes sometimes while I can’t get him off my mind I do pleasure myself and I know that he is not ashamed of it either) I went with the text approach this time and it turned out just the way I had hoped! It let to an amazing night and brought us closer together <3 which is an even bigger bonus – we have had a lot of stress lately with outside life, end of the year, etc. So it was nice to actually set all else aside and fall even harder in love again!
My Sweetie is also a bit on the shy side about letting me know when she has had some solo fun and especially putting out in some electronic format. We spend several months apart at a time and in that time we’ve come upon a fun way to do this.I know what you mean about just blurting out that you’ve just spanked the monkey or being direct and to the point. It feels kind of cheap and slightly creepy at least for me. I’ve devised a messaging system that is fun and entertains my technical side as well. Whenever I want to get my Sweetie riled up I send her a text that basically sounds like a technical report you would get from a geologist or well driller. I go into great detail about drill bits, lubricants, test sleeves and resulting fluid pressures. At the end of the email I usually ask her to review the test procedures and results and to offer her comments. I’ve recently discovered how to put the smiley faces in my emails, so if the test was a particularly good one I end it with one or two smiley faces. It’s really hot to hear her respond in kind to my lab reports especially when she tells me that the overseas operator had to open a valve to relieve pressure on her end. I once got about five smiley faces in return at the end of her report. One good smiley face deserves another.
I not only love watching my wife masturbate – I love hearing what she was thinking about later at the moments prior to cumming – and when she was cumming. She doesn’t always like to give me all the details (shy in that way) – but when she does – it is a great thrill that makes me ponder. Thank you for writing this. God bless you. LH
Thank you for your reply. I too am shy – part of the reason for this post. I am happy to have found this site!
Honestly, as a guy I think the best route to go ….sext-messages while he’s at work. Its not easy when you are shy, but it works out very well in the end. Tell him what you want him to do to you and the things that you do to him that turns you on. At some point, you will have to be out right blunt and just say what you need, but dont abuse it. Use gentleness to your advantage and it will work.
We were taught that masturbation is sinful and it still affects how my wife feels about it. Once when we were on holiday she was reading a sexy scene in a novel and fingering herself and she came. That evening she felt she had to confess to me and I said, rather unfairly I think now, ‘You know what the punishment is, you have to have another orgasm.’ She said she wasn’t feeling all that sexy but when we kissing and I teased her nipples and clitoris she had a spectacular orgasm.
Afterwards she felt happy because she had shared with me and, as it were, done penance. I encouraged her to play with herself whenever she felt like it.
But she admitted still not having fully dealt with her lingering guilt feelings.