How We Started – Part 2 – Okay, I skipped ahead a bit . . .

I supposed it might be of interest to some that we have been married 39 years now.  We have 6 children, 2 sons-in-law; no grandchildren yet.  We have lived in 4 states, 3 cities, 3 county seat towns, and were born in Miss. and NC.  We started late having children so we learned a lot about our sex lives before we had to change and adapt to pregnancy and children.  As we moved around the country after kids, we had to learn how and when to have sex.  A few years ago, my wife was sick for 3 years; post illness, we had to try some new positions because of successive surgeries.

Let me jump back to our first years married.  We were so enthused by learning about sex and about each other, we tried a lot of things to add spice to our learning experience.  I was working for myself and doing most of our house repairs myself so I was in the lumber/hardware store often.  One of the neat things I discovered was a horsehair paint brush.  I took the handle off and put tape where the handle was to keep the brissels together.  It was a wonderful experience to our young bodies.  There is no good way to describe how it felt to have those natural brissels brushed lightly over our bodies.  If you have never done anything like this, I do recommend it.  If you are needing a little something new and don’t want to get too bold too fast.  This could be it.  We also used lotions many times; it is important to use a lotion that is absorbed easily by the skin.  Oily lotions can feel sticky for quite some time after application.

I don’t think there is anyway to count the number of times we took showers together.  At home, in hotels, campgrounds, you name it, we showered together.  It had to be one of the most wonderful times we had.  We have also enjoyed and loved hot tubs as well, but showers were our mainstay for years.  We are both tall so tubs are often out of the question.

When my wife was pregnant the first time we could not see just waiting to have sex months later so we adapted.  By the way, your marriage and your sex life should be a growing experience that grows and adapts to new challenges, problems, or needs.  Never stop learning about each other and men, always be a student of your wife.  It pays dividends you cannot imagine.

At any rate, the first few months nothing changed, I guess it was probably six months into the pregnancy that we first decided we had to adapt our techniques and positions.  I think I remember that is when I first started holding myself up off of her so that she was not bearing any of my weight to speak of.  Since we did not do this often up to this point, it was truly interesting and exciting.  After the birth, we continued to use this technique and it became highly stimulating.  She could watch he enter her and pump in and out.  I discovered that watching her face as she had her orgasm was incredibly satisfying even rewarding.  She also started watching my face as I climaxed.  We both loved the experience, I guess a complete experience of orgasm that is watching our love totally satisfied.  I often watched her climax when I was eating her.  Of course, we had to have some light on, sometimes it was full light in the room, at other times it was subtle like candles or light from another room.

So, pregnancy was the first challenge to our vital and regular sexual love sessions.  A few years ago, my wife became ill with a rare but treatable disease, Cushing’s syndrome and disease, both.  It affected our marriage in almost everyway possible–physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  By the end of 2009, our marriage went on extended hold.  We could no longer sleep together, she went from sleeping 8 hrs. per night to 2 hrs. per night.  She would wake and have an insatiable buzz to do something so she would clean house.  I would rise at 4:20 to start my day and make my commute to the office.  So, she had to move to the spare bedroom.  Throughout 2009 we were still sexually active until November or so.  One of the symptoms of Cushing’s is upper body weight gain so sex became very difficult.  I share this because after two surgeries and two recoveries she had two follow up surgeries to repair belated damage to her body–breast reconstruction and hernia surgery.  In 2012, we worked to restore our broken marriage and sex life.  The two surgeries were minor delays compared to the years she undured Cushing’s, so, we adapted.  We tried the scissor and it worked so well and was so satisfying that we still return to it on occasions for variety.  She is lying  on her back, I on my side.  Our bodies are close to a 90 deg angle.  Her leg near my chest is lying across me; my top leg is over her far leg and she can pull it up her body for leverage.  After we have joined, I let her control the movement and I enjoy her breasts, remember nipples guys.  As she approaches orgasm, I begin to pump in and out and let her pull my leg up her body so that she is getting good clitoral stimulation.  I get to feel her and watch her orgasm, love it.  If we stay in this position for me to cum, I roll further on my side so that I can raise my hips as I pump in and out of her vagina.  It works really well.

Another discovery we made post-surgery was to simply lie on our sides and I grab her upper leg and pull it as far up my body and arm (hooked under her leg) as I can and still be comfortable.  We adjust the angle of our bodies to that her clitoris is getting lots of contact and so she can control her movement.  I discovered years ago that if I hold a position and let or make her work at clitoral stimulation that her orgasm is more intense–I love it.  When she begins her orgasm, I pump her vagina like there is no tomorrow.  I love it.  She is totally in love with this  position; for some reason, she cums longer in this position than in several others.

So, what is the message?  Keep learning; keep adapting; keep working at your skills; revisit old ways of doing the thing you love, making love to one another.  Your marriage, your wife, your husband, your family is worth all the effort you commit to each other.  Sex is not the goal, but it is a wonderful topping on a good and growing relationship.