I Had To Learn to Forgive

I’m sharing this because I hope someone will be blessed by this.  And, I hope it passes the MH guidelines.

I was 17 and I just got off the school bus. Usually I drove, but my car was at the shop.  I usually gave a lift to my friend Tom since he lived around the corner from me. After getting of the bus he said, “Come on over and hang out for a while.”  I’d done this plenty of times before so why not?

We get to his house and he says, “Let’s go out to the back porch.”  I said, “Sure,” and followed him out.  We go out to the back porch and he says, “Hey look at that!” and points at something.  I’m looking around when I feel his hand go up my left leg.  I say, “Stop that! ” and he withdraws his hand and says, “Sorry.”

A few minutes later, I’m standing up facing away from him and I’m looking out the screened window.  This time he wasn’t so subtle. He grabs my shorts and pulls them down.  Without another second passing, he shoves his penis into my ass!

He kept pumping in and out for what seemed like hours.  It wasn’t of course.  I’d never experienced so much pain in my life!  After he “finished” he threatened if I told anyone, he’d hurt me!  I still can remember running home and balling my eyes out.

For years, I blamed myself for what had happened that day. I never did tell anyone; teachers, parents, my Pastor, nobody!  I had a lot of “if only” moments etc.  As I passed into adulthood and went to college, I wondered who would want me?  I’m damaged goods.  I was prepared to spend the rest of my life as a bachelor, suffering in silence with my shame.

Of course, God brings this wonderful woman (my now wife) into my life. I think it was our 3rd or 4th date and we are at dinner and I start sobbing.  She asked, “What’s the matter?”  I was too embarrassed to tell her.  She said, “Something is bothering you.”  We went off to a park and I finally told her what had happened.  I thought that was the end of our relationship.  But she said, “I love you no matter what and what happened wasn’t your fault!”  I knew then and there I had a very special girl who would love me no matter what.

Years later, I’m on Facebook and I check that I had a pending Friend Request.  It was from Tom!  I was horrified!  I started crying.  My wife comes in and asks me what’s the matter.  I then show her the Friend Request and she says, “Oh!”  She then noticed there was a note attached to the Friend Request. She clicks on it and it said something to this effect:

“I know what I did to you when we were younger.  I need to get this right!  I recently accepted Christ as my Savior! I know ALL my sins are forgiven.  And, I know that you are also a Christian.  What I need to know is can you forgive me?  My pastor suggested I write you and try to get things right.”  Signed Tom.

For three months, I let that eat me up.  Finally, one night before we’re about to turn in for the night, my wife turns to me and says, “Honey, do you believe Jesus paid for ALL your sins?”  I replied, “Of course!”   She asks, “Do you believe that Jesus died for the sins of the world?”   ” Yes, yes, ” I reply.  She asks, “So, you can’t forgive Tom even though Christ forgave you?”  I was cut too the heart!  I asked Jesus to forgive me, then I logged on Facebook and I accepted Tom’s Friend Request and said, “Christ forgave you and so do I!”  We’ve had sweet fellowship ever since.

It is my hope and prayer that this is a blessing to someone and that someone learns to forgive someone else no matter what they’ve done to you.

Thank you.

Click on a heart to thank the author of this story!

Average rating / 5. Vote count:

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

We are sorry that this post was not one of your favorites!

Help us understand why.

12 replies
  1. Juicy says:

    Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing something that is so private. It really took a lot of strength and courage to do so. It is a fantastic story of the power of forgiveness and how powerful God is!

  2. Harper Shelby Thornton says:

    Young man, I'm proud of you! I can strongly relate this this. My husband was abused like this by a relative of his, and I was molested too (to a lesser extent, but still horrible). He told me his story first, and then I just HAD to tell him mine. We both cried when we told. I'm so sorry for what happened, to you. But God bless you for forgiving this man, God can forgive the vilest of sinners – there is no sin His precious blood won't cover! He paid for them all! God bless you and you're lovely wife, son.

  3. Adam Rose says:

    According to some studies up to 50% of sexual violence is perpetrated against men.
    It doesn't matter who you are, the violation is the same.
    So sorry you had to go through that.

  4. AlwaysHorny says:

    Hey brother, just want to say mad respect & honour to you for being real & sharing with all of us that area of pain that took place in your life but also the powerful decision you made to forgive Tom.

    I couldn't even imagine what it would have been like what you went through but you are an inspiration mate, & you need to know that & believe that. Your story & pain you went through all the shame, all the guilt, all the tears & loss it won't be wasted. Your story will help so many & you've already helped everyone who's read this post.

    I want to say thank you & well done ✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽

  5. Mandy says:

    Thank you for sharing. I was molested by a sibling of the same sex. Some of this nature affects the rest of your life. I do forgive her, as ,Christ does for of our transgressions. But those memories still linger. Brother in Christ, thank you for your story.

  6. Dave White says:

    As much as I would like to 'share', I would like to know how much 'healing' came about. I am not convinced that telling someone about my experiences will actually 'do' anything. I am still waiting for my mind to be transformed. I may take it to the grave. Yes, meanwhile, I have had nothing but failure in my relationships. I am currently four half years into my third marriage. I am a complete wreck.

  7. Harper Shelby Thornton says:

    Dave White talking would be very beneficial. It certainly was for me, and I'm my husband. Have you at least given it a try? You'll never be able to move on if you go on like you are. I'm sorry about your marriages, though I can't help but think it's greatly because of these issues you haven't dealt with. I urge you strongly to talk to someone, it can be uncomfortable, but in the long run beneficial. God bless

  8. Moviefan2k4 says:

    You have much more love in your heart, and/or trust in Christ with a situation like this, compared to myself. My abuser was never identified…and if I ever met him, I'd be extremely tempted to let him go to hell. I don't care who you are; when you convince a five-year-old boy to give you oral sex in the shower, and it haunts him for the next 32 years…that's horribly evil. I have prayed for God to forgive my abuser, and even for Him to do so on my behalf…but doing it personally just isn't part of me yet.

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply