We bought a Sybian. We did.
If you don’t know what that is, take a few minutes to look it up. It’s a monstrosity. You should never buy one. Ever. Or maybe you should. I haven’t decided how I feel about it yet. I know how the wife feels, but we’ll get to that later.
For starters, where do you store it? How do you hide it from the kids? Do you even try to hide it from the kids? Of course you have to hide it from the kids! My God, I can’t imagine my children seeing this thing. Or my wife’s parents. Or mine! Or any of our friends. I mean, it’s a saddle with a fake cock on top of it. It’s intimidating-looking and loud as fuck.
It’s also ridiculously expensive. And–I can’t believe I’m going to say this. We scrapped our summer vacation to the lake cabin we’ve been renting for the past ten years to get it. We told the kids we were short on cash this year – I’m facepalming as I write this. We said we would do a “staycation” instead.
The kids didn’t seem to mind once we explained to them what a staycation was. It involved a lot of staying up late, renting movies, having friends over to stay the night, and, of course, pizza. And they’re all at that age where friends are much more important to them than their parents anyway.
So, one summer off from the lake to buy one Sybian sex saddle and here we are. At home. With a pussy-pleasing lawnmower engine sitting awkwardly on a shelf in our walk-in closet.
Ok, ok, I’m being a little hard on the Sybian. It does have its pros. Boy, does it have its pros. But I’m still just a bit bent over the cons. The wife talked me into it after reading a review on it in some women’s magazine. Something about the top ten sex toys money could buy. And at the very end, like the punch line to a joke, was the $1000-ballpark-range Sybian.
You know, for the woman who has everything.
And believe me, when it comes to sex toys, my wife does have everything.
So we did a little research—research that ended up getting us both very excited. After a lot of fantasizing about the possibilities together, we clicked “confirm purchase.” The saddle without a horse was now on its way.
I must tell you that there is no end to the fun you can have on a Sybian when—I repeat, when—there is no one else in the house. Like I said before, this thing is loud, like pressure washer loud.
Ok, not pressure washer loud, but still really loud. A lot louder than a hand-held vibrator. But with much loudness comes much power, and with much power comes much cumming.
And cum she did. Not just her—me too. Like a geyser. But for different reasons.
The thing is, once we got the kids out of the house and my wife on top of that thing, I don’t think either of us knew what to expect. The novelty and eroticism of it all were off the charts.
She donned a tiny black micro-bikini that almost only gets used for bedroom play. We set the mood, and she mounted the pleasure donkey (I have a million names for this thing).
I was planning to watch her first and maybe engage in some mutual masturbation. But as she continued to get into it, she set the saddle to a lower setting and told me to “get over here.” Seconds later, my cock was rock hard in her expert hands and mouth. And the machine sat at the perfect height for her to have her way with me while I stood next to her.
“How is it?” I asked, eyes wide.
“Fuck me, this is unreal,” she said. “I’m gonna cum any second.”
“Think you can cum again after?”
“Are you kidding?” Her eyes closed and mouth dropped open as she tossed her head back. She came hard on top of the machine, squeezing her thighs and bucking her hips wildly. Her hand was like a vice grip on my cock as she thundered out her orgasm.
She quickly turned the Sybian off after that. Way too much stimulation post-climax. She was panting, her face and breasts flushed, as she turned her attention to me.
“God, I wish you could feel what that feels like…”
“Me too,” I said.
“I’m gonna go again in a few minutes. But for now, let’s take care of you.”
“Ok.” I was still a little in shock as she turned her attention and her tongue to my shaft. She was licking and sucking me with a hunger and urgency I had rarely seen in my wife. Katie is a sensual and enthusiastic lover, very erotic, and even kinky. But this felt like she was nearly trying to devour me!
“I’m gonna turn it on again,” she said after a few minutes of sucking me. “And when I cum again, I want you to cum too. All over me.”
“Fuck, baby. Sure,” I said.
She fired the machine up as I mumbled under my breath. “Damn, woman…”
She started low, pressing her clit to the lubed saddle. Her face was a mixture of intense concentration and pleasure.
“Oh my god, Rich, this thing—” She closed her eyes and let out a low moan that sent my cock pulsing. I returned to stroking it, inches from her face. My fist was pumping up and down my saliva-slick shaft as I watched her fuck herself on this hog of a sex toy.
She played around with the speeds some more, eventually settling into a nice even fuck rhythm. This way, she could devote her full attention to getting herself—and me—off. Bracing herself on the machine with one hand, she reached up and held me with the other.
Her tonguing was slower and more sensual this time. She was back to her old self now that she had already cum for the beast once. At a certain point, the noise of the device faded into the background. Her moans, exclamations, and sloppy sucking sounds rose above it. The machine is loud, but the wife is still louder.
“You look so fucking hot,” I said. “Sucking my cock while you fuck yourself on that machine.”
My wife just looked up at me with bedroom eyes and impaled herself on my shaft. She found her rhythm on my cock, taking me down the home stretch where I would eventually explode for her. All over that beautiful, sex-crazed body of hers.
“Mmmmmm, oh guhhhd—mmmmmmm…” She hummed around my cock like the machine hummed inside of her. Then, gasping for air, she released me from her precum-dripping lips and jerked my cock in a sloppy mixture of our juices.
She was a hot mess—emphasis on the hot—slathering my cock in spit. Her tongue snaked its way up and down the underbelly of my shaft. Then it would flutter like a butterfly’s wings against the sensitive spot below my throbbing cock head.
“Oh, fuck. I’m gonna cum again soon,” she grunted. She didn’t even have to ask again—didn’t have to beg for it. I knew what she wanted: my cum splashing down all over that creamy, white skin, and those big beautiful tits barely covered by her jet-black bikini. And I wanted to give it to her!
She braced herself on the machine with both hands. Her breasts mashed together between her arms, creating the most amazing cleavage to shoot for. I pumped my cock in my fist like a madman, ass tightening, muscles flexing, ready to explode at any second.
“Oh, god—baby—it’s cumming—I’m gonna fucking cum so hard,” she cried. “Cum for me—cum all over my face!”
My eyes must have registered shock at that moment, though I know she couldn’t see me. Her own eyes were closed, mouth open in an ecstatic O. In all these years of marriage, my wife has asked me to cum on her face maybe seven or eight times. All of them felt like requests designed to please me, even if she was getting off on the fact that it was hot for me. This time felt completely different.
“You’re so beautiful,” I grunted, finally releasing onto her. I ran a hand through her hair and held my cock against her face. I didn’t want to spray the tufted headboard of our California King behind her.
“Oh my god—oh my god.” She panted, dragging her face back and forth across my dick as I erupted thick white cum all over her lips and cheeks. “Ohhhh gawwwwwwd—ohhhhhhhh…”
She moaned wantonly as she came. She bucked and writhed against the machine as the cum oozed down her face. Some of it spilled onto her tits, and the rest coated her radiant cheeks in puddles and ropes. She finally opened her eyes again. She turned the machine off and stared up at me with love and wonder. Then she tenderly took my cock and rubbed it against her face as she licked me clean.
“Thank you,” she said, softly. “Thank you for getting this for me.”
“You’re welcome,” I said. “Though I think it’s me that should be thanking you.”
She blushed—my wife almost never blushes. “Well, that was pretty hot, you cumming on me like that.”
I smiled as I caressed her messy face. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, baby.”
I went and got a towel for her and helped to wash the cock attachment to the machine. After we had showered up and gotten dressed, we both stopped to stare at the Sybian in the middle of our bedroom floor. We started to chuckle. I looked over at her and squeezed her hand.
“I still don’t have any idea where we are going to store this thing.”
“Well,” she said, giving me a knowing smile, “I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”
I still haven’t.