Couple Postpartum Recovery

I wanted to pose a question to the MarriageHeat Community for advice. How do you, as a couple, deal with postpartum and not having sex?

My wife and I were best friends before we became spouses (lovers), so sex isn’t a requirement for our marriage, but it’s a big part of our lives. How do we recover as a couple?

Her body just went through one of the biggest changes ever, and I still think she’s as beautiful as she was on our wedding night. How will we still remain sexually active? Sex has always been a mutual thing where we both feel connected, loved, and sexually satisfied (orgasms).

She’s offered to give blow jobs and handjobs to help me hold on without her vagina, but I feel selfish because I’ve always taken care of her.

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11 replies
  1. MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

    My wife and I didn't have much sex at all after our son was born. She had a C-section so her vagina wasn't affected at all but 1) she still have some recovery and 2) our son didn't sleep too well……. We probably went a few months of zero sex, meaning I just masturbated if I was really horny. After those few months, once our son started sleeping, things ramped up again. That said, if your wife is offering blowjobs, why not accept them?

  2. Tulsa says:

    Been quite a while ago, but I discovered, that my wife was kinkier than I thought! Also, she was much more visual than I thought!
    She wanted to get me off! She wanted to give me hand jobs, and watch me cum! She wanted to give me blow jobs too! And, sometimes, she wanted to watch me do myself, and would tell me exactly how to do it, and where my 'cum-target' was!

    When she did get all re-cooped, and ready for action again, she sure was horny…..

  3. redcaramel says:

    After having four vaginal-birthed sons that were two years apart, it was three or four months of no sexual activity of any kind. She tore with the first birth and was cut on the other three, so had stitches for all of them.
    I started to show I was sexually interested in her, when we were face to face cuddling, by placing my penis between her legs up against her clothed pussy and slowly rub against her. I also did this when spooning.
    With stimulation and not full-on pressure, she soon wanted to start having sex again.
    There was no breast touching while she was breastfeeding, which was for up to twelve months after each birth. This was hard, as I loved her breasts.

  4. ILoveMarriage says:

    We had a midwife, who encouraged us to get back in the saddle only 4 weeks after giving birth.

    Her vagina was still a bloody mess, but penetration seemed therapeutic. After about a week of sex she was almost recovered.

    She had only minor pain during intercourse. God was good to me but I am still a lot smaller than a baby lol. I suspect that if you waited until there was no pain or bleeding you would be waiting a very long time. So I'd say get to it as soon as your doctor allows, regardless of bleeding or discomfort.

    Kegel exercises are a must for pregnant women. You can do them anytime actually. My wife actually felt tighter after her first childbirth than she did as a virgin. The midwife did not perform episiotomies, but she had only minimal tearing requiring a stitch or two.

  5. WeldersWife says:

    My doctor was fine with us returning to intercourse as soon as I was comfortable enough to do so. For me, that was about five weeks, although my birth was experience was pretty traumatic. I suspect we’d have been at it sooner had it been a smoother experience. The most important thing is to be understanding and allow her the time she needs to recover. And if she wants to take care of your needs, let her. Then hold her, kiss her, and let her know that when she is ready, you are eager to bring her the pleasure you always have. God bless.

  6. LuvBug says:

    Evryone is different, and postpartum recovery varies from woman to woman. My wife and I have two kids and after both there was about two weeks where she was too exhausted to even think about sex. Even then, it took about six weeks before she was recovered enough for intercourse (she had no tearing so it was relatively quick), and we had to keep it slow and gentle. In the meantime, we kept things spicy by showering together, making out, and of course, handjobs and blowjobs. I love making her come and it was hard for both of us to have to wait for her body to be ready. Of course I did discover that I could make her come by kissing her neck while she gave me a handjob…but that's a different story 😉

  7. FaithEllie says:

    We too ‘got back in the saddle‘ early. I have had 3 children and no tearing with any.

    As a woman I too offered hand etc to my man, and he like you was wanting me to go as well. So we both did each other by hand but about 3 to4 weeks postpartum we did the do (but this time after my 3rd- so I’m used to the whole process). After my other two we waited a bit longer.

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