This is my first post here, and let me start by thanking you all for the encouraging stories of hot monogamy! Unfortunately for my wife and me, we haven’t had the best of starts to our marriage because of my wife having vaginismus.
Let me tell you a bit about my wife and me. We’ve been married five years, we have one child and another on the way (Praise God!). The fact that we have become pregnant twice is a testimony to God’s faithfulness in our marriage.
Along the bumpy road, we’ve had surgeries, counseling, tears, frustration, and some minor victories. We’re at the point that penetration had become possible, but is uncomfortable most of the time for her. Recently she started pelvic floor physical therapy and is progressing slowly but steadily. However, as a part of that, intercourse is off the table. As such, we haven’t had sex since our unborn child was conceived (12 weeks ago now, at the time of writing this).
I’m the higher drive spouse, and she comes from a very reserved and conservative Christian upbringing where sex was never talked about, which inhibits her desire for sex, combined with the fact that it’s painful to her.
Now for the advice: My wife is uncomfortable meeting my sexual needs besides through intercourse. Oral sex, handjobs, and other “inventive” forms of sex are no-gos in her book. So, how do I continue to support her as her husband and cope with next to no intimacy from her until she completes her PT?
Anyone who has advice, I would much appreciate it!
We are sorry that this post was not one of your favorites!
Help us understand why.