Hello! I’ve been at the crossroads for a long time with this and I’m finally deciding to reach out for help instead of keeping it inside.
Just for some context: I’m 24, I haven’t been in a relationship yet and I’m still a virgin.
I’ve struggled with this worry of getting cheated on once I enter a relationship. I used to be very insecure about that. I think it started when my dad had an emotional affair with an ex. My parents were able to overcome that, but hearing his conversations with the other woman really took an effect on me. I was so deeply hurt and I think my mind started coping in this strange way. Now, I get really turned on when I think of a guy having sex with his mistress.
I don’t want to get cheated on, I don’t think cheating is okay at all. But I can’t stop getting turned on by this. I’ve heard people say that it’s just a fantasy and that I shouldn’t feel bad about this. But I just can’t help myself. Why has my mind taken such a horrible thing and turned it into something “good”? How can this be passed off as a fantasy? Or something to explore with my husband one day? (If I do decide to explore the fantasy, I wouldn’t ever condone my husband seeing another woman. But maybe something like me wearing a disguise or a wig.) So, is this something I should get therapy for so I can stop being so fixated on it? Or do I just accept that this is a fetish of mine?
All of your words are greatly appreciated! Thank you so much for your help.
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