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I have to admit that intimacy with my husband was very awkward when we first got married. We saved everything for our wedding day. After we said I do, everything was legal. I started wondering if I kissed right. How do we kiss? And when we came together as one for the first time, we didn’t know anything. How do we start? Where do we put his penis? Where was my vaginal hole? But getting started was easier than we’d expected. Our bodies just reacted to each other. I never felt my body react that way before.

Then I saw and felt something I never had before; a penis—my husband’s penis. It was unreal, very hard but very soft. When we tried to become one, it was hard. But sex is about learning. We didn’t expect to have to be in just the right position for it to fit in. We didn’t expect we would have to search for my hole. It was actually fun trying.

When we did find the opening and became one, it was probably one of the most amazing things ever, warm and tender. My body just craved more and more. We also didn’t expect sex to end so soon. I thought, in the moment, that it would last forever. Instead, our first time lasted a few minutes. It was special regardless, but we didn’t know that’s how it would be.

The feel of my husband’s semen inside me was an unexpected sensation too. I heard the first grunt from my husband as he filled me up, then felt a warmth as it dripped out of me. We didn’t know this would happen, didn’t know sex could be messy. I also hadn’t learned that peeing after sex was important or that I would feel a little sore down there. Nothing bad, but my body had to get used to sex. I didn’t know that, after our honeymoon, having sex every day and multiple times a day would be unrealistic for us. It was fun but too exhausting. So sex went from daily to a few times a week.

We had fun learning different positions, finding what works and what didn’t, what we liked or disliked. My husband and I would lay next to each other, just touching one another. It surprised me to see that touching could lead to my husband’s semen all over my hand and to feel how much my husband’s hands could do to me. Most shocking of all was learning about orgasms. I was never told about them—I didn’t even know what one was. I know it is a special gift from God. It’s amazing how my husband and I are still learning: how sex is more than just two bodies coming together. I use to be embarrassed not knowing or still learning, but that’s the great thing. My husband and I are learning together.

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23 replies
  1. Grace911 says:

    Thanks for the honesty. There's a lot to be said about saving ourselves and learning together, knowing that no one else has ever used our special gift to each other before it was given just to us.

    • Honeymooners says:

      It's very special. We're glad God taught us to save this for our spouse. Our honeymoon is still something we look back on.

  2. O-surfer says:

    This is great. I was listening to an older podcast today from “Sex Chat for Christian Wives” about 'myths’ we pick up through culture or media about sex. One was that "sex is easy”.

    It’s great that learning is so rewarding! Good idea to look for Christian married sex positive resources for learning —and then lots of practice!

    • Honeymooners says:

      I'll take a listen to that too. Sex isn't easy. Not only does it take practice but you're still learning. My husband and I are still figuring things out and that's perfectly normal.

  3. SouthernHeat says:

    We are so happy we got to learn together. It is extra special knowing no one else will ever experience what I get to experience with my husband. Almost 34 years now and still learning new things all the time. Sex just keeps getting better and better because of the level of trust we have with each other.

    • Honeymooners says:

      This is so sweet. Yes, I thank God for these gifts. Especially knowing nobody will ever experience this except my husband and I. It's so special. I can't wait until we're married for 34 years plus more like you. We still keep learning and yes sex keeps getting better and better. Especially since we both discover more gifts God has for us.

  4. PatientPassion says:

    I'm glad to hear the learning process was made memorable by fun more than frustration! This does bring up an important point, though: parents need to teach their kids about sex! It's tragically negligent to let people go into marriage sexually ignorant. Unfortunately, I suspect it may be because so many parents are sexually ignorant themselves. But for those of us reading this site, let's be sure to learn for ourselves and be intentional about preparing our own children better, so we can break that cycle!

    • Honeymooners says:

      My husband is a pastor's kid and I grew up in a very loving Christian family. We were both homeschooled. I was a bit more sheltered. I will admit we were both very naive. My parents raised me to save myself for marriage and so did my husband's parents. However, I was never told or educated about many things. It would've been helpful to know so we could be prepared. I'm embarrassed sometimes finding out things I should've known. But it's fun to learn, right?

  5. Naughty_Redhead says:

    I couldn't agree with @PatientPassion more! As a health care provider and raised by one, everyone should be familiar and comfortable with their bodies. I find it shocking that people don't know some of the basics about their own bodies but it's not your fault either. If you teach monogamy and faith, you shouldn't have a problem teaching the basics of sex. The "what would you have wanted to know before you went in blind" then let them figure out their martial path.

    • Lucky Guy says:

      I love this story because I see my own wedding night in it. My wife and I were also virgins on our wedding night… although we had kissed plenty! I remember being surprised at how hard it was to figure out sex on our wedding night! We were really grateful that a book called _Intended for Pleasure_ was recommended to us to prepare for our wedding night. Without that book, I’m pretty sure we would not have figured out sex our first night, and it would have been a much more painful experience for my wife.

  6. LovingMan says:

    Beautiful post you two. I had been married before and my new (2nd) wife was a virgin. I was surprised that there was still so much to learn. We now have been married for almost 30 years and we are STILL learning . . . & having fun in the process!

  7. Frankie says:

    Honeymooners – We were also virgins on our wedding night and had to work our way without much information. 50 years 4 children later, we obviously did. Enjoy the learning. When you get to be our age, that learning will be some of your most pleasurable memories.

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