Waiting is Worth It

My husband and I waited until marriage. Many might see a young Christian couple and think we married for sex or that it’s dumb to wait until marriage. This couldn’t be further from the truth. A marriage is more than sex. God brought my husband and me together as one. When you’ve found the one, why wait to marry? We’ve been married for five and a half years.

I will say this: marriage isn’t easy. Sex isn’t easy. And waiting isn’t easy. We prayed hard during this time, set boundaries, and avoided temptations. It helped that we were on the same page and had God guiding us. We didn’t know what sex would feel like; that gift would be unwrapped as soon as we said I do. I wondered what his penis would look like. I had never seen one up close or in real life.

I thought sex would be amazing and easy. I didn’t know how hard it is. When the wedding day finally came, it was one of the best days ever! Trust me when I say being husband and wife is amazing. Having husband and wife privileges is amazing. Being legal in God’s eyes is icing on the cake.

The first kiss set off explosions.  That very first time we were alone and could do whatever we wanted was priceless. We were told the wait is worth it, and it truly is. That very first time we came together was special. I can remember it as if it were yesterday.

However, I didn’t expect sex to be complex. Nobody tells you how complex it is. How matching your body up isn’t easy or certain positions take time to figure out. We laugh about it now, but it took time for my husband to enter me—he couldn’t find my hole. It was fun trying to locate it, but nobody warned us how difficult it would be, especially with nerves racing through you.

I’d never been wet before down there. It felt weird to experience wetness for the first time, the heart of my vagina telling me, “More.” I’ve never had that desire before, ever! I felt feelings I’ve never had before. I felt my body do things it never did before and it surprised me. I never had my body react like this. My nipples got hard. My vagina aching for something to fill it. My pussy moistened to the point I thought the wetness would leak out of me.

I thought being naked for the first time would be weird, but when you’re with your husband, that goes away. You don’t notice you’re bare because you’re so wrapped up in what’s happening, tearing each other’s clothes off without a thought.  There is a bit of shyness about being naked in front of your spouse for the first time, wanting to cover up, but those feelings go away and you’re in the moment. You don’t notice anything but your spouse. Your mind relaxes. Nothing—and I mean nothing— else matters, and once you start, it’s hard to stop. You kiss, you touch, you lick, you sweat, you give each other pleasure that you’ve never had before. Experiencing this for the first time with your spouse is amazing.

Then the time comes for the first deeper connection. I had butterflies in my stomach and my heart was beating so fast. Nobody tells you about this—the first time you will connect as spouses, your bodies as one. You see his erect penis come near your hole, what was once soft now very hard and bigger. I looked at my husband’s member in awe, thinking, “How will it fit inside me. How will it feel in me?”

You prepare. Those virginal walls will no longer be virginal but filled with your husband. A mixture of nerves—fear but also excitement—passes through your body.

He gets on top of you while kissing you. Your pussy feels soaking wet and your nipples harden. Your desire is stronger than ever before. You feel his penis up against your clit and melt.

Slowly he moves down to enter you but can’t find your hole, so you help him. Once found, your hole you can feel his penis right outside it. Your body just aches for it. You don’t care about anything else in the room. Your heart is beating like a drum as he looks into your eyes and slowly puts the tip in.

There’s resistance, maybe a tiny bit of pain, but your body wants more. You don’t want it to stop. You look into each other’s eyes, then he kisses your neck. Closing your eyes, you melt even more into him. You feel him move slowly back and forth, and each time he gets further in. With each gentle thrust, you feel your pussy wrap around his cock until he pushes through the resistance. Now his entire penis is inside you.

You’re in awe at this beautiful thing. You kiss again, finally one, but you need to seal the deal. Very, very slowly, he moves his hips and kisses you on the lips. Your nipples get harder. Sweat pours from your bodies. This new deeper feeling is amazing. You don’t notice the little moans escaping from your mouth.

He looks you in your eyes, and you look into his. Sealed forever in the kingdom of God, you wrap your legs and arms around him and pull him close. You close your eyes because it feels so good. In and out, in and out… you don’t want it to stop. He changes pace, going a little faster, and it feels even more amazing. You’re in awe.

Then you hear a sweet sound, your husband grunting. He just had his very first ejaculation inside you. Semen from his penis is now inside your sweet pussy. You share in the glory of this moment; you made him ejaculate inside you. Only you can. You revel this sweet moment, crying afterward because it’s so special and sweet. You feel his semen leaking out of you, which is a surprise but also a reminder of what just happened. As you both lay naked in each other’s arms, a wave of happiness and connection like no other washes over you in waves. The wait was worth it.

I know many Christians who are struggling to wait. It’s hard, but don’t give up. Trust me when I say waiting will make sex more special and amazing. I hear a lot of “waiting is dumb because you need to test drive,” even from other Christians. Sex isn’t a test drive. I know so many who treat it as such and are disappointed or upset that they can’t find the one, or they get hurt.

My husband is my first and only. I’m his first and only. We learn together. You can’t be bad at sex if you’re learning together. If we had recorded our first time versus now, we’d see that it’s different, like night and day. We grew into each other, learned about each other, and we’re still learning.

God created sex for married couples to enjoy, and it is so powerful. It binds two people together, and once you start, you won’t ever think about it the same way. There’s a reason why God tells us to wait. Don’t give in to pressure; God has someone for you.

When my husband and I started dating, I was a bit confused. I asked God if he really picked my husband for me, the young boy I’ve known since I was little? How did God bring two different people together? I couldn’t deny my feelings or God’s signs that he was to be my husband, and he couldn’t either.

You’ll know when God picks your spouse. I was praying for my future spouse, and little did I know he was right in front of me. Trust me, you’ll know. Let God lead you. And once He does, make Him the center of your relationship.

Once you find your spouse and you’re married, I hope you’ll write a story on MH about it. My husband and I share because we learn so much from others.  We aren’t perfect, but as Christians who waited, we wanted to share the experiences and stories God created for us.

Yes, you’re worthy. You’re loved. Your spouse is out there. Pray for them. You’re worth the wait. Waiting is hard, but once you’re legal in God’s eyes, all of it—and I mean all of it—is worth it.

 

 

 

 

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26 replies
  1. kdm1984 says:

    Good post. I'll admit we didn't wait. But we haven't been with anyone since; we've been monogamous the whole way. He had some before me, whereas he's my only one. The learning curve definitely took time, but as you described, was exciting the whole way. I haven't even found marriage exceptionally difficult…we've learned to deal with the challenges and disagreements along the way. I think same-sex friendships and jobs are much harder by comparison. Next month, we'll finally be parents. We'll see how that goes. 🙂

    • Honeymooners says:

      It's so special and I wish this would be promoted in society. Sadly, it's not promoted. When people find out we waited, it's sometimes a shock to them or met with disgust. We live by God's words.

  2. Fearless Lunk says:

    Thanks for sharing. It was a creative presentation… not sure I’ve ever seen this before. The Intro and Outro are first person… and then the most personal and intimate stuff is in second person (“you”). An interesting way to frame the details. Almost like when a movie shows all the past memories in black-and-white to set it apart. •• Plus the first night doesn’t appear to have a female orgasm as a part of it. Same was true for me… and it’s one of my honeymoon regrets.

    • Honeymooners says:

      Yes. I try to show not just tell so others can feel the words too.

      I didn't know what an orgasm was until years after marriage. The first time it didn't happen at all for me. It took time. The first time was filled with nerves and excitement.

  3. SecondMarge says:

    I enjoyed your description and glad you decided it worked out for the best for you. Experiences differ; that is why surveys ask more than one person. I was an untouched virgin for my first wedding night. Needless to say, I was not for my second. I would never recommend people to try for a second marriage because sex was so much better or discourage women from waiting because first sex for women is rarely very pleasurable.

    We are all unique and respond differently. We need to make the best decision for ourselves, not what worked for another couple or didn’t work for them.

    I’m glad he finally found your “hole.” Maybe you could have guided him, or didn’t you know where it was either? I know how naive I was.

    • Honeymooners says:

      I agree with need to make the best decisions that will work for us. We are all different. We do know divorce and sadly death happens to spouses. We are all on a different journey in life. I just wish society wouldn't encourage sin.

      It took us some time to figure out what we liked. Sex isn't easy to navigate. It took time to do our own thing and not compare ourselves to others.

      I didn't know anything that day lol. We were native. My husband couldn't find my hole. He didn't think it was that low. I tried to help him. It took some time. We laugh about it now but our first time it was a bunch of nerves and everything was so new. We didn't know what we were doing. It was so hard but we eventually figured it out.

    • Honeymooners says:

      Yes. I hear so many people say it's stupid to wait or we need to have sex with many people to figure out what we like. I like being my husband's first and he loves me being his first. We have nothing to compare it to. We learned together and we're still learning. It is worth waiting and I'm happy God tells us to wait. Waiting for your spouse is an extra special gift. People asked us if we regret waiting and no we don't. God picked us for each other and we were waiting because that's what God wants. I'm happy our families taught us God's word and His love. It's just very sad society promotes something sinful and different or shame people for waiting

  4. Ilovemywifeforever says:

    My wife and I also waited to have sex until we were married, though we didn't have sex on our wedding night. We had our reception at a very luxurious hotel, and when we walked back to our huge honeymoon suite, we took off our shoes and ate the goodies off the tray they brought for us. We were beyond tired, but when we took off our clothes, it was a bit on the cold side as they cranked the AC. We couldn't wait until it warmed up, so we slept and were late to the breakfast they had for us and our family members and close friends. We were sore and stiff from having danced at our reception the night before, though I'm sure everyone thought we were sore and stiff from going at it all night. So we waited to have sex until two days after the wedding, and it was SO worth the wait!!

    • Honeymooners says:

      This is a sweet story. Thank you for sharing. We definitely remember how tired we were but being alone and finally you can connect over took sleep lol.

    • LovingMan says:

      Hey Ilovemywifeforever… as pointed out in my comment on this post, WE didn’t consummate our marriage on our wedding night either! Glad to know we aren’t the only ones… and when we did make love fully the next morning, it was glorious!

  5. LovingMan says:

    Very nicely expressed, Honeymooners! Such beautiful detail! Good for you two for waiting!

    I was married before, and I was a virgin when I first married. (Later I was divorced and became a single father.) Melodie and I also chose to wait and only kissed & cuddled before our wedding night. It amazed me to learn that everyone is different. I had to learn what pleased Melodie as if I were a novice lover. It was and IS better because we also set and kept boundaries before we married.

    I want to add that God is merciful to His children who mess up. I messed up between marriages, and I am so grateful to Heavenly Father for the gift of His Son so I could be forgiven. I am also grateful for a wife who though a virgin herself believed in the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

    She had been sexually abused as a child but it never was vaginal sex. Therapy and the Atonement of Christ helped her heal and be ready to be my passionate bride. Christ can heal, and He can cleanse from sin, but victims of sexual crimes are not guilty of anything.
    I also was sexually abused, and I also became whole through Christian therapists and by turning to the Lord.

    I’m not trying to be a downer here. The fact is that we’ve had nearly 30 years of amazing friendship, companionship, and partnership. You are right that marriage is not just about the sex. But our sex life has been AMAZING! My favorite memory is of Melodie, (in her beautiful nude body), waking me up the morning after our wedding to try again. Believe it or not, we had failed at fully consummating our marriage on our wedding night. Yes, sex isn’t easy at first… but we got better at it! A LOT better!

    I have 53 stories published or awaiting publication on MH and most are true stories that we lived and loved in! Those stories testify to how amazing married sex can be!

    • Honeymooners says:

      Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry you and your wife experience such a horrible traumatic event. I'm happy God brought you together and you can now share your love with each other. It's never a victims fault. That fault lies with the abuser. I'm happy God healed you. God Bless! I can't wait to read your stories.

    • texasman76 says:

      We didn't have sex on our wedding night, either. All our lives we are told to wait and have self control and then, once the vows are exchanged and the rings are given – all is approved as God's gift in marriage. Many folks think you just throw a switch and everything is fireworks on the wedding night. It was awkward for us at first and took a while to get things right. You can't beat learning everything together and experiencing it for the first time with your beloved.

  6. SophTea says:

    My husband and I also waited, and though we have been married only a few months, we are very glad that we waited! It helped solidify our relationship as one based in Godly love, not in lust. We are learning together, and making memories as a couple. The fact that our marriage bed is blessed by God makes me even more invested in our intimacy as a couple, and I desire to be one with my husband in mind, body, and soul forevermore. I wish that society comes to appreciate how beautiful married sex can be, and how much good waiting for the right person that God put on this Earth can be! I pray for everlasting love and intimacy in your marriage, Merry Christmas and Happy New year!

    • LovingMan says:

      SophTea, I think that society follows Satan’s lies. I’ve noticed that many movies, TV shows, and literature glamorize extra-marital sex and imply that married sex is dull and boring.
      MarriageHeat strives to dispel those lies!

    • SophTea says:

      LovingMan, I agree 100%, and it is sad to see. But I am glad those here spread the word of how amazing intimacy in marriage can be, when honest Godly love is shared between a husband and wife. God bless, have a wonderful day <3

    • SecondMarge says:

      Important to understand how good sex can be inside of a marriage. I hope MH encourages the readers to make an effort to enjoy each other more often and in more ways. I can’t say I believe in the concept of a devil spreading lies, but if it helps make a complicated issue simpler to understand, the men that invented the concept succeeded. In reality, very few of us only have sex with one person and only while married. Nor is there any reason to believe those that don’t wait enjoy sex any less. We all have to find our own path in life and should do it without judging how others make decisions about sex. Nor should we declare our decision superior when we have not experienced the others, only testify that our decision pleased us so far. Especially when we decide to ignore proven science and history. It pleases me to hear anyone found a path that made their marriage work. But just like there are a myriad of religious paths to God, there are many paths of sexual decisions.

  7. Gemlin says:

    This was really lovely 🙂

    The first time my wife and I ever made love I was so nervous/excited my whole body was shaking uncontrollably. I love what you said about seeing each other naked for the first time not being as uncomfortable as you thought it would be. I get self-conscious about my body, and yet with my wife, there was never any fear or awkwardness in letting her see me.

    Learning how our bodies fit together like a jigsaw puzzle was one of the funnest things about when we were first together. There are so many intricate ways in which God made marriage the best thing ever, and that is one of them. Thank you for sharing!

  8. Hot Tamale says:

    "But just like there are a myriad of religious paths to God…"

    I disagree. Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me” (John 14:6) and, “For unless you believe that I am He, you shall die in your sins” (John 8:24). The apostle Peter echoed these words, “Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved” (Acts 4:12).

    The apostle Paul concurred, “There is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus… . ”(I Timothy 2:5)."For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Rom.6:23) It is the united testimony of the New Testament (not to mention the Old Testament which testifies of Christ through and through also) that no one can know God the Father except through the person and work of Jesus Christ.

    If mankind could have reached God any other way, then Jesus would not have had to die. His death illustrates the fact that there is no other way. Therefore, no other religion or religious leader can bring someone to the knowledge of the one true God.

    The Bible says, “God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself” and “he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him” (II Corinthians 5:19, 21).

    "We all have to find our own path in life…" Ummm, me thinks the Bible addresses this fallacy as well. In fact, I know it does many times over. "Everyone does what is right in his own eyes."

    "I can’t say I believe in the concept of a devil spreading lies". Perhaps John 8:44 might help. His lie to Adam Eve in the beginning helped bring God's good creation into sin, death, and decay. But something tells me you probably don't believe the Genesis account either.

    • SecondMarge says:

      Like I have said to truly understand the Bible, in my opinion, you have to look for the purpose behind the words. Thinking a Catholic can’t go to heaven because you are Protestant or Baptist will go to hell because you are a Lutheran is sad in my view. There were dozens of men saying they were the Savior so much of the Bible contains a great deal of campaigning,
      No I am not in denial of science. God did not give us these amazing brains to not use them. Knowledge brings us closer to God. He did not want us to stop reading after See Dick run. He would be very disappointed if we never progressed and still thought he made all that exists in 6 days as we now define them.
      You can still love God and be a good Christian and not feel like you have to live like it’s the second century. Just need to understand the purpose behind the words and who they were written for and how limited their knowledge was. Mankind was not ready for DNA, Evolution and the universe being 13.6 billion years old. Some people still are not. And that is fine we all take different paths in life and as long as we love each, don’t judge, we are following His desires for us.

  9. Frankie says:

    Honeymooners – exceptionally well written. You have not only been able to communicate the act of marriage, but you also have provided a wonderfully accurate description of the feelings of a new bride's first time.

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