A Night of Small Embarrassments

Married Sex is a wonderful blessing. Sometimes, that blessing is as shiny and bright as you could ever dream. Other times, like this night four years into our marriage, you can’t help but laugh at yourself as that blessing is accompanied by embarrassment and mishaps. Hopefully, our antics remind you that not every night needs to be one for the memoirs, but all are a hot blessing.

We rise from the couch and traipse to the bedroom together.  Falling to the mattress, we visit about our day and revel in each other’s nearness. There was nothing spectacular about today, but at least we get to spend tonight together.

As we talk, our legs twine together. He traces a nail along the back of my arm, and I quiver.

“Why do you do that to me?” I quiz.

“Because it makes you do this!” he laughs as I writhe against him.

I stare into his denim eyes and feel safe. I am home when I’m in his arms. My hand finds the bottom of his shirt, and I grind my palm against the skin covering the overworked muscles that run up his back. He leans into my touch, and I feel his tension melt as we connect.

His thumb begins to tickle the side of my breast.

“Do you have to do that there?” I squirm.

“You’re my wife; I’ll do you wherever I want!” He winks, his tone playful.

Taking the hint, I throw my leg over him in an attempt to place him flat on his back while I straddle his hips. Instead, we clamour for grip—my maneuver nearly threw us off the side of the bed.

We stifle our laughs as we recenter on the mattress, and I try again. “What was that about doing me wherever you want?” and I straddle his hips and bring his hands to my breasts. As he runs his fingers along the top of my cleavage, our mouths meet and we share moans, our tongues dancing. I pull back and attempt to unbutton my top, but I’m too excited and simply fumble.

Still sitting astride his reclined form, I look to him for help. As the shirt comes up, I hear, “I’m impressed my arms are long enough to do that!” but as the shirt tangles on my head and obstructs my view he concedes, “well not THAT long.” We laugh again as I throw the shirt to the side, and my giggles are replaced with gasps as he paws my breasts. I grind my damp panties against the hardness rising in his longjohns, and he takes the hint.

“Let’s get some more skin in the game,” he taunts, and I lie back, lifting my hips to remove my pants as he rises to remove the longjohns and his briefs. As he turns back to the bed, he witnesses me trapped with stretchy pants binding my ankles out of my reach as I flail on my back.

“Le stuck?” I mock my situation and he comes and frees me. The pants fly over my head to the floor behind, and the panties are supposed to follow close behind but fall short of the mark. Flailing to free my face from the fabric, I ask, “Is there a reason you can’t remove clothes tonight?” and he laughs, returning the question.

I move to straddle him again, and we gently grind and roll as we build the passions toward penetration. Then, tipping me down so my back rests on the mattress and my head teeters off the edge, he delicately mounts me and sinks his rod slowly into me.

“Mmmmm,” I moan, enjoying the slow depth. We take our time teasing each other, knowing we have all night to get crazy if we want.  His hands grip my ankles, run up my legs, trace my thighs, then climb my stomach to the red, honeymoon lingerie I found in the drawer moments before he got home. He traces a finger along the lacey top, then plunges it down into the cup. I gasp—in pain rather than pleasure—as he unceremoniously pokes my nipple.

“Ow! Just take it off if you want access,” I scold him while rolling to the side, trying to reach the clasps myself. Apparently, he was deeper in me than I thought, because we both rolled to that doomed edge of the mattress again. As we laughingly steady ourselves, he reaches behind me and frees my breasts.

Pawing them, tracing circles, then tweaking nipples, he tends to them as he resumes rolling his cock into me. He feels so good in me; I raise my legs to get deeper penetration. His pace increases, and my moans syncopate with his. We’re beginning the climb together, when the unthinkable happens—




I press against him and try to carry on, begging him to resume. He’s not so easily convinced.

“Did you just toot on me?” He’s aghast, waiting for a response while I writhe trying to get him back into the rhythm of pounding me. “Did. You. Toot?”

I look at his face and burst out laughing, understanding the offence but unable to move past his tone paired with his vocab.

“I was hoping it was just a queef, but either way, you’re welcome to punish me!”

That’s all the convincing he needs. He grabs the pillow and commands, “Up!” I wrap my ankles around his neck, and he lifts me enough to place the padding below my raised hips. I go to remove my legs, but he anchors my ankles against his shoulders. I moan at how he holds me, so vulnerable, and submit to his control as he sinks balls-deep into my vagina. His rhythm is back and he begins to pound me, pushing my legs further and further toward my head with each thrust.

I gasp and writhe, muttering my loving profanities in time with his spear entering my sheath as he folds me into The Plow. With every penetration, I feel the electricity in my groin amp up. His dick pounds against my back wall and the vibrations and sensations are more than I can handle.

Biting down on my fist to muffle the cry, I shriek as the pleasure rolls through me. I feel his pulsing dick coat my insides, and I smile as he lowers me back to the mattress.

“Ah, my love, let’s do that again soon,” I purr, enlivened by how quickly he ravaged me and seeing new quickie potential.

He eagerly agrees, with one caveat: “No toots next time.”

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9 replies
  1. LovingMan says:

    I gave your story an unequivocal 5 because it is so very real!! Both the mishaps and the wonderful lovemaking are so accurate!

    Many times in our marriage while we are having sex, things have gone wrong. You learn to laugh at it & get on with the fun.

    Your descriptions of what went right in this sex session are beautiful and actually very erotic and very well written!

    I loved your use of the words like: “his spear entering my sheath” & “The plow.” Also your description of the build up and orgasm are great!

    “I gasp and writhe, muttering my loving profanities in time with his spear entering my sheath as he folds me into The Plow. With every penetration, I feel the electricity in my groin amp up. His dick pounds against my back wall and the vibrations and sensations are more than I can handle.

    Biting down on my fist to muffle the cry, I shriek as the pleasure rolls through me. I feel his pulsing dick coat my insides, and I smile as he lowers me back to the mattress.”

    This is so very sexy! The mishaps are part of the discovery and fun! But the sex is all that much better because you know you know each other & you are safe with each other!

  2. WeldersWife says:

    By far one of my favorite stories I have read in a long time! The little embarrassments and mishaps are going to happen occasionally but it sounds like you made the absolute best of it! Sex can be messy and awkward sometimes but it’s always good when you and your spouse can just giggle and keep chasing the finish line 😉

  3. oldmarriedcouple says:

    My wife and I love to have fun in the shower but usually head to the bed to finish our lovemaking. Our shower at home is rather a tight fit for anything but simple play, but a couple years ago on vacation (just the two of us), our condo unit had an expansive tile shower with glass walls and doors on 2 sides. Clear glass that got my desire up as I watched her shower, and I joined her. We soaped each other generously, as usual when we play in the water. This time, however, I was evidently a little too enthusiastic and got too much soap inside my wife's vagina, so she complained that it was uncomfortable. Dilution is the solution, so I fixed that problem with plenty of warm water. Fun resumed, and I knew the shower was large enough to accommodate more creative play. So as my hands were busy on my wife, I leaned back against the large glass wall of the shower enclosure. I was shocked when the "wall" gave way! I tumbled partially out onto the tile floor, surprised to find that I had actually leaned against the large glass door and pushed it open!

    After making sure I was okay (just my manly pride was injured) we resumed our fun, and eventually moved to the bed, but the shower experience I had hoped for did not turn out as romantic as I had hoped!

    • O-surfer says:

      Hilarious story—mostly because it rang familiar! For quite a while when newly married, whenever hubby and I were going to have to be apart for a short time for various reasons; we’d have “farewell” sex that always had one or both of us taking a a tumble at some point in the proceedings. We used to joke that it was a’ tradition’.

  4. Lori D. says:

    Oh my gosh that's so funny. It's funny because it happened to us not once but twice, on two different days my husband and I were making love. One time I was on my back and another time I was on top… I tooted! lol. We just stopped for a few seconds, looked at each other, laughed, kissed and continued making love. There's no need to be embarassed!

  5. alwayswet101 says:

    Haha this is such a great realistic story of what married sex is actually like. Married sex is definitely hot and beautiful and sexy but personal things happen that aren’t often discussed. The more preggo I’ve gotten the more gas (sorry if tmi) I get which I’ve heard is very normal…so yes I have tooted twice while having some preggo sex with my hubby. He thought it was adorable and is so into my preggo body and all the changes he didn’t care at all. I was mortified but also in that orgasmic state and in between orgasms so I didn’t want to stop…then when I saw how much he realized it was normal and just another pregnancy thing us women have to deal with I was able to just soak up the pleasure and keep going.

    Another little embarrassing moment I think of is when I squirted for the first time. We both love it now and nothing makes my hubby more turned on (except my preggo body lol) than me squirting however I definitely had that natural reaction of “oh my god this is mortifying I just peed on him”. I was riding my hubby and pushed him out of me as I started squirting and I soaked the bed. Was definitely embarrassed the first time! Now we just know it’s a huge possibility and we have the waterproof blankets!

    The other little embarrassing moments that have happened to me during sex probably have to do with me starting my period while we were having sex. Feel like this has happened to many women at some point but there’s been times before pregnancy where he’s been fingering me and I’m squirming and he’ll go to adjust something and he realized he’s dove into the Red Sea! Lol he doesn’t mind at all and I swear he’s easier going about having period sex than I am but definitely a little embarrassing in the moment. We have also been having sex where he’s inside of me and I know I’m close to getting my period and bam he’s opened the gates lol. I always get very crampy, edgy and horny when mine is about to start so he’s always been great with fixing the cramps and horniness with his magical man piece and has never cared about the mess!

    Isn’t it beautiful when these things can occur and you still love and get turned on by that person!?

  6. Frankie says:

    alwayswet101-I really enjoy your comments. It is obvious (and admirable) that you and your husband have a sex life that is comfortable and relaxed with each other.

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