“Sweeter with Age” (L)

It’s been nearly a year since my initial story on MH.  Because of it’s deep emotional impact and because for me vulnerability is challenging, that story was a difficult post, but  very cathartic.

Since that story, I’ve wanted to write another.  Although our relationship and connection has continued to deepen and grow and we’ve had many wonderful encounters, I haven’t quite felt the prompting and motivation till now.

The focus of this story is Deep Connection involving the combination of all aspects of our being ( i.e. physical, emotional, mental, spiritual) as opposed to the mere physical.

I realize my vulnerability may characterize me as a monster of sorts,  depending on your perspective/convictions.  At one point in my life, I pondered it.  But as I’ve aged, I’ve changed.  I’ve grown.

The identity of my Sexual Self in my early teens was merely associated with it’s physical dimension and the pleasurable sensations I suddenly discovered.  For several years following, I innocently explored and enjoyed this intriguing frontier, free of guilt and shame.

That early stage of development was very sex-positive and characterized by curiosity and freedom.  It took a sudden, unexpected  and unfortunate turn around the age of 18 when I came to a saving faith in Jesus Christ.  It radically changed my life.

My Christian faith was now the very center and foundation of my being.  I immersed myself in learning about this newfound faith, including it’s well-intended but largely sex-negative perspective of sex.  It encouraged approaching sexuality with suspected danger and ever-vigilant caution.

I learned one of my favorite pastimes (masturbation), which since my salvation I had come to believe was a gift from God, was—according to current church teaching—to be viewed as suspect and a form of “self-pollution.” Could this be true?

Conflicted, I wrestled with this notion.  Deep within my Sexual Self, I felt the strong desire to embrace my wonderful masculinity as God-given.  I “managed” it privately while maintaining my purity and treating females and sisters in Christ with dignity and respect.

But before long, after absorbing these sex-negative undertones I eventually “caved.”  It caused me to question my passions, my desires, and the expression of my Sexual Self.

Sex-negative messages (except in the bounds of marriage) were seldom discussed.  Sex appeared to be something (although God-created) to keep private, shrouded in shame – like nudity and the human body.  My college text book in “Christian Ethics” (all male class) in Bible College, which discussed such topics as sexual purity and masturbation, was simplistically entitled:

SEX is NOT SINFUL?

I got the message.  Loud and clear.

Looking back, it was weak in scriptural criterion, and rich in personal interpretation/opinion.  But it took root deeply.

I loved my God and Savior more than life itself.  I was all in.  Could I hold back any area of my life from Him?  That was the way the subject was framed.

In an attempt to honor God with this area of my life, I would shut it down by sheer force of will.  But I often failed.

Leaning on the power of God’s indwelling Holy Spirit within me, I fervently sought His assistance. I’d repent, promise to do better.  Fail again… Repent again.  Promise to do better.  Fail again… (ad nauseum).   

Anxiety, “guilt” and shame stalked and haunted me.

At last!  God answered my prayers and blessed me with a wonderful wife.  An approved outlet for my God-given, pent-up sexual energy!  Sex was no longer just about me.  I’d finally have a sexual partner…

This was the height of the “Sexual Revolution.”  Sexual diseases proliferated.  Sex was “Out of The Closet.”  X-Rated movies showcasing all kinds of sexual activity were becoming commonplace. “Deep Throat,” in 1972 was an overnight phenomena.   

The sexual freedom at the height of the Sexual Revolution was liberating to secular society.  But the Church recoiled and was quick to contrast/juxtapose this hedonistic pandemic with “godly” sexuality.  Which by implication was diametrically opposed, but with few clear guidelines. What were acceptable, safe, God-honoring/sanctioned boundaries and activities a Christian couple could enjoy?

This was my situation and my dilemma.  What was I to do with the desires/passions I longed to explore/experience with my wife? What sexual activities were acceptable for us as Christians?  I knew nothing of the sexual freedom metaphorically veiled in the Song of Songs, and I found little information in the Scriptures themselves.

With this backdrop, I think you get my conflicted mindset and internal struggle in how to integrate my God-given sexuality (with it’s strong and inquisitive primal desires) with the core beliefs/teaching I’d heard and now taken to heart?

Early in marriage, for me it was primarily still about the physical.  Testosterone-driven.  The “Big O.”  My wife’s mere physical presence and sexual availability was sufficient.  Sex wasn’t anything either of us had to struggle with or try to “work” at.  It was hot and automatic.

But through the years, with life’s pressures, responsibilities and trials, and a growing family eating away at our invaluable time together, I gradually realized I was missing and longing for more.  Missionary PIV with a partner who was at times overly tired, yet lovingly committed and available, with a diminishing libido didn’t fulfill me.  At this time she seemed to be fine with the status quo.  I often felt I was merely “using” her.  Obligatory “mercy” sex?

I felt stifled, repressed.  Often rejected.  The enthusiastic advances I often made into new territory were mostly met with shock and disgust or disdain—at best, with an attitude of submissive duty.  Not the emotional connection/component I now seemed to crave.

The Emotional Connection (appearing to be something refused) surfaced, paramount.  I now wanted, longed for, Emotional Connection.

My repeated attempts to engage her emotionally seemingly ignored, I began to withdraw emotionally myself.  Sexual frequency and interest between us both became less and less frequent.  Our love and commitment to each other, our family, and the LORD were strong, and that held our marriage together.

But our relationship was civil and accommodating at best, and a lonely life of desperation at worst.  It seemed at times we were merely roommates or “best friends” raising our kids.  Something had to change.

I remember pleading with GOD to take away my sexual desires.  Unable to connect with my wife physically and emotionally the way I so desired was killing me.  I tried making myself go through the motions.  She’d do the same.  We were getting nowhere.

Eventually I stumbled upon a podcast, Sexy Marriga Radio (SMR), which claimed “Marriage is The Hotbed of Sex” and covered a variety of issues we were dealing with.

Initially, I thought I had found a place with resources I’d utilize to “fix my wife.  I soon realized I was the only one I could “fix!  I was seriously flawed.

CHANGING CORE BELIEFS/PARADIGM SHIFT

Father GOD… Have I been wrong???  Have I blindly followed a set of external ‘Do’s & Don’ts’ instead of letting You lead me in this area of my life???

WHAT IF…?

  • I’ve been I’ve been sold a Bill of Lies?
  • sex was not some deviant, perverted enigma, but a beautifully crafted gift to humanity of God’s Domain?
  • my maleness, in all it’s surging energy and power, wasn’t something to be denied and repressed but something glorious and vital to my wholeness and connection with my wife and others?
  • God gave me my deeply rooted sexual passions not only to enjoy it’s pleasure and remind me of Him, but to keep me passionately pursuing and desiring to know my spouse in an ever-deepening way and keep me close to her?
  • there are far less limitations to my sexual curiosity and expression than I’ve believed?
  • there’s no part of my wife’s body that she’s willing to share is off limits?
  • there are spiritual truths My Father wants to convey to us in our sexual connection?
  • sex is supposed to incorporate every aspect of our being, not just our physical body or a particular body part?
  • oral sex, instead of being some perverted act, was actually God’s idea and one of the most intimate, pleasurable and connecting gifts a husband and wife can give each other?
  • my Father wanted to create something beyond the passive, honorable, and and reserved facet of Curt (me)?
  • God wanted to create a strong, passionate and erotic Curt so Curt could convey to his wife his deep love and desire for her in powerful, intimate ways?
  • I truly believed Sex was one of God’s greatest earthly gifts and that He wanted to lead me in all it’s intricate wonders and nuances?

What an epiphany!

It was time to answer these questions…

“Dear Heavenly Father… Please forgive me…”

I sat myself down and had a long-overdue conversation…

“Curt… it’s time you chuck that set of man-made, legalistic, life-sucking regulations and start living.

Time to get reacquainted with your Manhood, that member of your anatomy you dissed and tried to shut down decades earlier.  Introduce the real him to your wife.  She’s probably been waiting for him to show up.

Time to start trusting and believing your Father.  Listen to Him.  Follow Him.  Let Him guide you and watch Him bless you and your marriage beyond your wildest dreams.”

Intending to add some spark to our sex lives (and realizing our newfound freedom), we began to explore beyond the previous limiting boundaries.  We added toys, various forms of novelty, different positions, locations.  They had been helpful to a point.  But we both often felt we were simply using them to force each other to orgasm/climax.  If any of you have been there, you’ll relate.  It doesn’t work.

GROWING/EXPANDING Our Concept/Vision of What Our Peak Sexual Experience/Connection Might Look Like…

Having the “Greatest Sex” possible necessitates several things:

  • Valuing Sex
  • Comprehending What Healthy Sexuality Looks Like
  • Validating your Maleness/Femaleness
  • Curious/Inquisitive and Playful Spirit
  • Solid Sex-Positive Core Beliefs
  • Shame-Free, Anxiety-Free Atmosphere
  • Learning to Integrate All Aspects of Your Sense of Self

Although every individual and couple is unique, from our perspective, good sex (at least in later years) requires cultivating a deeper connection involving all aspects of our being and resources.  Both partners want to feel loved, respected and pursued.

If either is reticent to open up in vulnerability (revealing and offering the entirety of themselves to their partner) it stifles the process of the deepest of connections possible between them—and the magnitude of the sexual response.  The synergistic effect of giving all of your being (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual) to them, and them giving it back.

I’d read about couples who’ve bravely moved in this direction in vulnerability and curiosity in pursuit of knowing their spouse in a deeper way.  I wanted this.

While I came to this juncture in my development later in life, it’s not necessarily the norm or preferred.  Although a growth process which must be be desired and diligently pursued, it need not be delayed.

Sweeter with Age” (story title) is my perception of our connection today.  I feel blessed beyond measure.  God has given us a sex life (and depth of connection) I never dreamed possible.  And I don’t think He’s finished!  It came to us in our 60’s, later in life.

But astute individuals/couples will pursue this path early in their relationship and reap it’s benefits sooner, avoiding years (decades?) of unfulfilling sex. Thet won’t miss out on the deep, rich connection it facilitates.

AND NOW…

THE HOT SEX STORY YOU HORNY PEOPLE CAME HERE TO READ…

WARNING… If you’re offended by strong adult language.  Stop here!  This language, once offensive to us, is no longer.  In reading/studying the late David Schnarch’s book “Passionate Marriage” (yes… we study and pray together about our sex life/relationship), we learned sometimes there really weren’t other words which adequately expressed various aspects of passionate sex.  “Have intercourse,” “copulate,” “coitus,” “make love,” “have sex,” “connect,” “be romantic,” etc. are all descriptive of the varied nuances of sexual interaction.  But none of them convey the power, intensity, burning desire and fervor of the term “fuck.”

We’ve learned to fuck.  In our 60’s!

Note:  You can teach an old dog new tricks.  But it probably won’t quite look like the younger dog.  As you read this story use your imagination.  (Picture younger dogs.  They’re sexier…)

______________________________

The rain had put an end to my work outside; I,had been tearing down an old shed.  I walked back in the house wondering what to do.  My beautiful wife, relaxing and intently looking at her new iPad, didn’t appear to be too involved in anything that couldn’t wait.

Sex.  With her.  It popped into my mind as a great way to spend some time.  Go for it, Curt.  Make the initiation!  Be bold.  Let her feel your desire/passion right up front.

I made my offer.  She took it, though at this age with greatly reduced hormones, she has what I’d call a more “receptive” desire.  She’s found that although she often doesn’t think of sex as much as she once did, she can and does get warmed up pretty quickly if she goes with it and makes the decision to move in that direction.

That’s also something she’s come to understand about her sexuality at this stage in life.  It pays to constantly be growing/learning in all areas of life.  Neglect such an important life-giving and connecting gift, and it will disappear.

Always looking to up my game and take our connection to new heights, this afternoon during our “lovemaking,” I determined to concentrate and focus on conveying my extreme passion and love for her.  My goal: to touch the deepest recesses of her very being.  I wanted to fuck not only her beautiful body but also her mind, her heart, soul, and spirit.

This approach necessitated focusing every bit of my attention and intention to being “in the moment” with her.  How could I best utilize all the “tools” at my disposal—my eyes, my ears, my touch, my voice, my mind, my heart and soul, and my spirit—as well as my throbbing? penis.

As we kissed and embraced, my mind was constantly watching, listening, feeling for her reaction/response.  Was a light touch better?  Or maybe firmer?  Was she enjoying my pleasuring?  Was she in the moment with me?  Or was she in the midst of some fantasy?  I’d never really know for sure without asking, but IF she was, I was going to drag her kicking and screaming out of any fantasy into the erotic reality of our presence and connection with each other.

*Side note*:  I realize fantasy is often an important tool in understanding our sexuality, and can be utilized to tap into our erotic self.  I’m not dissing it’s potential value in some cases here.

And so, to me, taking and conquering her became a game of sorts.  A dance.  A challenge.  To draw her out. Discover and open up all of her—to all of me.

As we began with some pretty intense kissing, my strong embrace, and mutual fondling of each other’s genitalia, I watched and waited for signs of her growing passion. Head back.  Eyes closed intermittently.  Increased respiratory rate.  Light moaning.

She was ready for more of me.

I slowly began fondling/kneading her firm but supple breasts with intermittent sucking and kissing of her nipples.  I continued feasting on her womanly delights, often finding myself lost and sidetracked in my own growing passion (exemplified by my groaning and moaning) while simultaneously attempting to bring her pleasure.  That’s very akin to juggling; nearly impossible, but a learned art.

Sensing her growing passion, I knew it was time to move on.  But not too quickly.  Curt” was running this show.  In this dance, I would lead.  I’ve both read and come to realize women, at times, attempt to “take the lead.”  It’s often done unconsciously to see if the man’s really competent/trustworthy to lead.

And so I headed south

Breathing heavily and groaning as she held my stiffening cock, I began kissing and licking my way towards her groin.  My hands roamed and enjoyed the feel of the warm skin of her lower abdomen and thighs.

I paused and held myself motionless for the briefest of moments when she suddenly grabbed my head and, forcefully pushing it toward her pubic mound, instructed me:

What are you doing???  LICK IT!

I had her right where I wanted her.  She was nowhere but with me.  She wanted me.  She wanted my attention.

But the dance was only beginning.  I had the lead, but I had to keep the lead—and keep her wanting, longing, following…

I explained:

Honey, I don’t know about you, but I’m really worked up right now.  I’m in no hurry to get any of this over with.  I’m going to enjoy myself.  Don’t worry.  Just lay back and contemplate your husband’s delight in devouring every delicious inch of you.  I’ll get down to licking your clit very shortly.  Be patient…

Although I sensed her frustration, I saw her throw her head back and close her eyes in resignation.  But inwardly, she seemed thankful that her husband was so enamored with her beauty and sexuality.  That was my interpretation, anyway.

Eventually I made the dive down to her throbbing/waiting clitoris and vulva.  She was ripe for plucking, ready to be devoured.  And Curt was more than ready for this succulent feast on her lady bits wantonly spread before him.

But she still hadn’t learned to “follow” in this intricate dance.  She grabbed my head and pulled me tight against her mound, “face-fucking” me. 

I laughed and pulled back, swallowing some of her juices and taking a slight “breather.” Making her wait for a few seconds, I laughingly replied:

You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?

I got no verbal response, but she continued to grab my head and pull me towards her groin.  I felt as if she was trying to pull me into her very soul as I continued my sexual feast.

But it was time to draw her even closer.  I reached a finger towards the door of her pussy.  A gentle brush along one lip.  A shudder from her in response.  A strategic pause.  A brush along the other lip.  Another shudder and moan.  A strategic pause.

We were navigating the intricate dance which would draw us ever closer and closer emotionally, physically and spiritually to each other.  This was going to be no simple physiological release of pent-up fluids into/onto a willing body cavity or orifice.

This intense, focused “fucking” (although no penile penetration had occurred yet) was intended to draw her out and have her longing intensely to merge with her sexual provider (me) on a higher, emotional and spiritual plane than she may have ever experienced before.

And so I added “finger-fucking” to my repertoire.  Two arms wrapped around her hips/ass/waist, pulling her closer while I feasted.

As I played with a breast with my left hand, the middle finger of my right slowly began to explore her vagina. All the time, I moved forward only by degrees in response to her physiological responses. Strategic pauses and changes in direction/stimulation to her clitoris and G-spot, kept her guessing and attentive to who was running the show.  Who was loving her.  Who was fucking/ravishing her.

Although I could have strung her on indefinitely (I was SO enjoying the game), I felt it would be abuse to continue to torture her.  I eventually stopped the “strategic pauses” and really leaned into it.

Encouraging her verbally to “fuck my face,”she complied.  She moaned, groaned, and shook as she pulled my head so tight against her I thought my neck would break!  Her powerful thighs clenched my head like a vice.  She had reached her climax and was experiencing orgasm—emotional fusion with the man who’s head was trapped between her thighs.

A brief thought entered her mind:  Could he breathe?  Although she truly cared, she couldn’t entertain that thought for long.  She was too enraptured, caught up in the moment to even move.

She melted into her orgasm/climax.  I relaxed, softly caressing her entire body (wherever I could reach) from my precarious but enthralling position.  I had achieved my goal. We were emotionally/spiritually fused.  One body.  One flesh.  One spirit.  But I was intent on continuing this mysterious journey into her soul, as I felt our Father’s loving gaze over us.

One minute of rest was all she could take.  Grabbing my stiff dick, she requested:

Get up here and fuck me!

I scurried up as quick as a 65-year-old guy with a bad hip can.  And we fucked—with unbridled, lustful passion and abandon—as we continued to ride the emotional/spiritual high we’d created.

After fucking in missionary for about five minutes, we switched to modified “doggy” on our sides to accommodate my bad hip.

After a quick trip to the bathroom to relieve her bladder, she returned with a washcloth to “clean me off.”  I have no problems with our bodily fluids, but if she’s not there yet, who am I to argue with a loving wife who wants to suck me off but currently has an aversion to body fluids?  Don’t stop this roller coaster, Curt.

She attacked my cock with eager, emotional intent. Looking up at me, then down at my cock.  Running her face/nose against it.  Licking sideways against it’s length.  Then taking only the head/tip into her mouth.  Swirling around it with her tongue while sucking on it.  Then taking it out again.  Taking in the sight of it.  The strategic pause.  Now she had me in her magical powers.  I felt her coming furiously after me.  She wasn’t going to let me escape either.

Did she just learn this from me?  It was electrifying!  And she expertly kept me right in the palm of her hand.  I was hers.  All of me.  No place for wandering emotions/ thoughts, or performance anxiety.

She lovingly and energetically performed her magic for some ten minutes till her mouth got tired.  I, at times, just lay there reveling in this  beautiful gift.  But intermittently, I couldn’t help but grab her head lovingly as my hips involuntarily thrust my cock down deeper into her willing throat.

I worried a few times I had thrust too far, but she indicated that she was fine and continued pleasuring me.  This was anything but abuse.  She was enjoying giving me pleasure as much as I enjoyed receiving it.  She was attempting to draw me in, to fuse with me physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  And she was succeeding. 

With this assurance and understanding, we continued on, me thrusting intermittently, in synch with her perceived attempts to take me even deeper than previously.

My interpretation?  This woman’s into me.  She wants me.  How can I let her down, withdraw emotionally, or hold myself back from her?

I relaxed and let myself go—My heart, my soul—letting go of any conflicting thoughts or anxiety which can, at times, intercede to block and quench such intimate connections.  We continued to ride this erotic, soul-merging roller-coaster.

But old age often necessitates we adapt.  Change.  Be willing to accommodate.  We’ve gotten good at that.  Good sex between a couple our age isn’t about comparing ourselves to younger couples, or even ourselves when we were younger.

While I’d consider our sex today the best it’s ever been, it is different.  While we may not have the physical prowess and attractiveness we once had (we have more arthritic aches and pains), it’s been eclipsed and replaced by ever-growing and vital emotional and spiritual elements which fuel and drive our erotic connection.

And so after about ten minutes, she stopped her “oral ministrations,” and I turned to lay on my back.  Lying in my left arm with her head on my chest, she ran her hand through the hair covering my chest and abdomen as we kissed deeply. This mouth had, only moments earlier, held my manhood lovingly and securely within it’s moist, warm depths, continually beckoning me deeper.

I stroked/played with my cock as she fingered/played with its base and my perineum and balls.

In a matter of minutes, I unloaded.   My cum shot  up, flying across my chest and down my cock.  Slowly it dripped down both our hands, coating them.

We both lay there silently; neither could speak.  The moment was too sacred for words.  There was only the sound of each other breathing as we lay together in naked embrace.

It couldn’t last forever.  It was merely a terrestrial type of a future reality we’d both one day experience individually with “The Lover of Our Souls” who was there with us.

But it would have to last till next time.  Our next dance.

NOTE:  While it may appear the “epiphany” mentioned earlier in the story was spontaneous and occurred quickly and easily, in reality, the changes in our personal lives and sexual relationship came only after deep introspection.  On both our parts.  It came slowly and incrementally, with determined intentionality over a period of years.

But like the fermentation of fine wine, there’s a noticeable distinction between cheap wines, like Thunderbird, MD-20/20, and Boone’s Farm, and fine wines like Dom Perignon’ which go through a timely fermentation/aging process, some of up to 15 years or more.  The fermentation process serves as a powerful word picture of our metamorphosis.

BTW, My wife now regularly (and guiltlessly) has a glass of red wine every night before bed—another taboo she’s outgrown and learned to enjoy!  Our Father knows how to create great wine… and great Sex!

And… He’s great at smashing down walls and barriers limiting our appreciation of Him and of the bounty of life He wants us to experience.  Let Him.

Click on a heart to thank the author of this story!

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8 replies
  1. LovingMan says:

    RGM this was a wonderful description of how sex and intimacy can change and improve over time in a committed marriage! It’s very well written and touched me emotionally as well. You gave me some food for thought! The fine wine analogy was perfect too.

    We have felt our closeness grow …especially since our retirement a few years ago! We had some things to work out after retirement- kind of like you described – so we saw a couple of sex therapists. They helped us a lot!

    As for the sex story, it was sexy and beautiful! Sexy can be incredibly beautiful! And we usually end our lovemaking sessions with Melodie caressing my sac and loving on my nipples as I masturbate to what is usually my second orgasm of the lovemaking session.

  2. SecondMarge says:

    So sad that what some old men thought was how our sex lives should be restrained. The conflict it created in our minds was never intended by God. Never touching myself before my first marriage and even resisting after it ended. Such confusion. Fortunately after my second husband passed I had a much healthier view of a woman’s sexual needs and desires and what was acceptable. I have read some say one should only think of one’s spouse when masturbating. But thinking of a dead husband was not an option for me. So I did think of possibilities that I had not being married. Out of respect for MH rules I won’t discuss how my young BF has affected my thinking and beliefs or sex life.
    But I am now in a much healthier and realistic place regarding self love.

  3. TorrHead says:

    There are sexually charged stories made so by the description of the action. As a man, I never grow tired of the visual descriptions of every move. I look often for the straight up, this is what went down, written real; let's get this done. Yup, I can be as shallow as the next guy. There are also some sexually charged stories that take me into the mind of the protagonists (usually the author), making the read all the more fascinating and compelling because I can not only see but experience the whole. Your submission here does both. Thanks for bringing it home for all of us. So fine.

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