Sex Positions – Pros and Cons

Not long ago, a friend of my wife’s asked her for sex advice. She and her husband are in their early 30s and always have sex in missionary position. She asked Lauren for advice on other positions they can try. She said her husband is shy about experimentation, and she asked if we could put together some pros and cons for each position we regularly do so she could try to convince her husband to branch out. Below, Lauren and I are excited to share our notes with all of you in the MarriageHeat community—notes gleaned from years of practice!

And about Lauren’s friend? These notes helped her convince her husband to try some new positions, including doggy style and forward cowgirl, and she says their sex life is now much more exciting.

One word of advice we gave her friend and are happy to share here: Some of the best times we’ve had together have involved multiple positions. It’s not uncommon for us to practice at least two positions per session. For example, we might start with a variation of missionary and then go into doggy style. There’s no rule against variety. Variety is the spice of life!

Missionary position

There are many variations of the missionary position and we’ve probably tried all of them. We do missionary position from start to finish probably 10% of the time. For us, it’s typically a foreplay position before we go into our favorite of all: doggy style (more on that below).

Pros:

  • Many variations. We enjoy the variation where Lauren brings her knees back near her head, creating a pile-driver effect—one website calls it the “Rock ‘N’ Roll” variation. But that’s just one of many; we also enjoy the “leg glider” variation of missionary.
  • Allows for eye contact, kissing (some variations do not), hand-holding, conversation and generally connecting at an intimate level. These are huge pluses!
  • Depending on heights, allows the guy to kiss and suck on his woman’s nipples.
  • We really enjoy using Lauren’s vibrator on her clitoris during missionary.
  • If the guy is going to pull out, missionary affords a nice “cum-shot” effect that can add to the excitement. When we were in our 20s, it wasn’t uncommon for me to pull out and my semen to hit her face, which always caused her to giggle. Fun!
  • An awesome position for his and her POV sex tapes.
  • Of all the positions, this one is probably the most intimate.

Cons:

  • Can get boring after a while.
  • If the female enjoys a really hard and deep fucking (which is Lauren’s preference), missionary can be limiting.
  • Seems to be more conducive to headboard-banging, which can be fun unless you have kids in the house….
  • More geared to the man as the woman more or less is just lying there on the receiving end.
  • Perhaps the biggest con of all: if the woman requires clitoral stimulation to orgasm, missionary makes it hard for her to access her vagina with her hand. See above note about vibrator for a potential workaround.

Doggy-style position

Unquestionably our favorite position. This is the position Lauren most enjoys, and over the years it’s become our go-to. It is likely the position we were in when we conceived. We typically do doggy-style 80% of the time.

Pros:

  • If the woman enjoys a deep, hard fucking, this is the position for it.
  • Allows the woman to masturbate easily, making it orgasm-friendly for her.
  • Affords an absolutely stellar view of her.
  • Has a primal factor to it.
  • Has the naughty factor.
  • Permits spanking (which Lauren really enjoys).
  • G-spot-friendly.
  • Fun variations.
  • Allows anal play, including double penetration (with a finger or toy.) This is also the main position for full-on anal sex.
  • For the guy, it’s just a lot of fun to grab your woman by her ass cheeks and hammer her! And she likes that, too!
  • Super fun to record via a camera on a tripod and watch later.
  • For cumming inside her, there is no more fun position. I go all the way in and just unload to her delight.

Cons:

  • Perhaps not as intimate as missionary or forward cowgirl.
  • Not a con for us but for the guy, you need to be OK seeing her asshole. It’s on full display in this position, especially if she’s really into it and is on her elbows.
  • Differences in height can make it tricky. My wife is 5’10”, with long legs, and I’m 6’2″ and she needs to crouch down just a bit for maximum comfort.
  • Cumshots in doggy style aren’t quite as fun as in missionary.

Forward cowgirl position

Forward cowgirl is a position that puts the woman in the driver’s seat, if you will. Like missionary, forward cowgirl, tends to be a foreplay position for us, but probably 10% of the time, Lauren will ride me either forward or reverse (or both!) from start to finish. I would absolutely welcome her riding me more, but she prefers doggy style (see above).

Pros:

  • Gives her all of the control!
  • Allows for eye contact, intimacy, hand-holding, conversation, kissing, etc.
  • Allows for fun nipple kissing and sucking.
  • Allows for delightful breast fondling.
  • Allows the guy to lay back and just watch his lovely bride ride him.
  • Grabbing her ass cheeks as she rides is fun!
  • Allows her to masturbate and bring herself to orgasm.
  • Fun variations for her—leaning forward, leaning back (which affords amazing frontal visuals), feet planted on the bed (if she has good knees), etc.
  • If you set up a camera behind her, the view is wonderful especially if she’s leaning forward just a bit, which opens up her ass for an amazing perspective on the action. We have some sex tapes of Lauren riding me—shot from behind her—that are epic.

Cons:

  • If pullout at ejaculation is required, can be complicated in this position as the guy will likely have to cum on himself unless she’s willing to take care of that for him.

Reverse cowgirl position

As noted above, Lauren will ride me from start to finish probably 10% of the time, and usually if she’s riding me, she’ll mix it up with reverse cowgirl. We really enjoy reverse cowgirl, but we’ve never quite gotten it dialed in to where it’s comfortable for more than 4 or 5 minutes.

Pros:

  • Affords depth of penetration.
  • Gives her control.
  • Allows for anal play on her, including DP.
  • Allows her to masturbate.
  • Amazing view of her backside, especially if she’s leaning forward.
  • Lots of variations, including her leaning forward and also back for different angles.

Cons:

  • Some physical awkwardness.
  • Can be hard on her knees.
  • No eye contact.

69

69 is an oral sex position but we decided to put it on the list. When we were younger, we 69’d a lot. These days, we’ll do it only occasionally.

Pros:

  • Very equitable.
  • Amazing access to her vagina.
  • Naughty factor.
  • Great to record with a camera.
  • At least with Lauren, she can take me super deep into her mouth/throat.
  • Fun to feel her sucking my cock while she’s cumming 😊.

Cons:

  • She’s told me that in 69, I’m less effective at bringing her to orgasm than if she’s on her back and I’m between her legs eating her pussy, or if she’s straddling my face.
  • Sexual multi-tasking can be hard.
  • Next to impossible to keep pleasuring her if I’m cumming in her mouth.

So there you have it! Do please share your take on the positions!

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17 replies
  1. StillLikeNewlyweds says:

    Excellent work. Thanks for sharing it with us, and it’s great that you were able to help that other couple. It is amazing what just changing up a position can do. At the very least it starts to open communication: do you want to try this? Did you like that? Etc. And we all know communication is key to a good sex life. We have our favorites but always enjoy finding something new we like. (Even finding out you don’t like one can be fun). I can’t put a link but a great resource is Christian-Friendly Sex Positions. It has great information but illustrations are a type of stick figures (like used in wordless signage). Some people want to explore but are uncomfortable with graphic illustrations or photos, and unfortunately most people don’t have friends like your wife who they can ask. Lastly, don’t forget about Kitty Style: it’s just like Doggy Style but with scratching and biting 😁

  2. LovingMan says:

    Good evaluation of some fun sex positions. Thanks! We’ve tried those all with varying success. We agree that it’s fun to switch up sex positions in a lovemaking session. I want to add one position. We call it X-position. (Kind of a double play on words since this position gives me nice view of Melodie’s bouncing boobies and her beautiful expressive face during sexual intercourse. It’s an “exposition” of her sexy body!) I’ve also seen this position called the cuissade position. I think that’s French for thigh position.

    To do this, my wife lies on her back & I, her husband, lie on my side with my erection lined up to her vagina. We usually intertwine our legs but sometimes both her legs go over mine. This position allows her to use her vibrator without me being in the way! We’ve found that this is a good position for me with my heart problems too. This has been our go-to position. But we still do most of the ones you’ve mentioned as part of our lovemaking sessions!

  3. RockyGapMan says:

    Thanks for your “in depth” analysis on sex positions with their pros/cons!

    I’ll agree. Variety is the Spice of Life… which certainly includes Sex.

    🍷 Here’s to Variety & Keeping it HOT!

  4. Lori D. says:

    We don't like eating the same thing at supper time every day. In saying this my husband and I are always playfull in bed (or elsewhere in our home). We love trying new positions. What I love is that Jamie always wants me to be comfortable when we make love.

    The positions that work best for me are in these orders;
    Cowgirl because I don't mind doing the work,
    Doggy because it provides some good internal and external stimulation and doesn’t require much energy,
    The one I call Legs Up because it offers intimacy and gives my husband and me access to my clit,
    Reverse Cowgirl because it gives me all the control over my pleasure,
    Finally what I call the Spread Eagle; it's another lazy sex position that will be perfect when I'm tired but still want the big O. My husband is on his knees and I'm on my back while he holds my legs far apart. Jamie can penetrate me deeply and at any angle with his penis while also fondling my clit. This position is a winner in our book.

    Huggles
    Lori

    • Giants05 says:

      These are great positions Lori. Me and my wife (ironically the 2 of you share names lol) actually just started playing w spread eagle like you describe and an edge of bed version of spread eagle. We tried the edge version in the middle of the day the other day and it was super hot we agreed since I could see her huge and beautiful tits bouncing all over the place and she could watch me do her at a good view. It's such a comfy position and gives such easy access to her clit.

  5. blessedtobehiswife says:

    Thank you so much for this! We were just married in December and while my husband was not a virgin when we married, I was and I have been nervous to try positions other than missionary. Reading these descriptions is making me a little more comfortable to open myself up to giving myself to him in other positions.

    • O-surfer says:

      First of all, congratulations! Second, I’d like to recommend a podcast—“Sex Chat for Christian Wives”. They have lots of helpful information including webinars that will help you both understand libido better as well as physiology. May God bless you as you both learn and learn to discuss your desires!

    • MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

      Thank you! I hope you can open up and experiment. It is so much fun.

      If we’re recommending podcasts, I highly recommend “Sex with Emily.” I doubt many people on here would approve of it but we love it!

  6. Sexygirlhorny says:

    I wonder if the author would consider helping a young couple learn to have sex. Like they could come over and you could show them better placement of legs, make suggestions while they are having sex about how to make it feel better, etc. What do you think about that?

    • Learning2Wait says:

      O gosh…Don’t give me ideas! Mr and Mrs marriedtoahotbabe write so hot! I would love to write a fictional story about this! Definitely not MH approved tho!

    • MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

      Sexygirlhorny, oh how that would be fun. I would like to think Lauren and I could provide guidance but things could get carried away…….

  7. Frankie says:

    Sexygirlhorny – I'm not against a couple getting advice on the "how to" aspects of sex from someone more mature, but the idea of a third individual actually being in the room as a young couple is learning doesn't sit well with me. There are a number of books and if nothing else, there is plenty of information (in extreme detail) on the internet.

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