Question about PIV Pleasure for Women
Ladies of MH, I am puzzled about something. In the course of really learning about the mechanics of sexual pleasure, I have gathered that most women cannot orgasm from penis-in-vagina sex alone. Yet in so many of these stories, the wives are absolutely convulsing with the rapture they’re feeling from being pounded by their men.
What is the source of this pleasure? Are their G- or A-spots being stimulated? Are their clits always being touched, even if it wasn’t mentioned? I’m super curious. I can’t feel anything when I work a finger in and out of my vagina. I know the clitoris is much bigger and more complex internally, so is it those invisible parts I need to be stimulating? Thanks for your kind help!
I’ll be honest I’m not a fan of the stories that sound over the top. Wives orgasming on their wedding night from penetration…don’t believe it. It takes time to get to know your partners body and that’s okay. Some of these stories set unrealistic expectations.
Hello LLL. An answer your question…I've been married for 37 years to my wonderful husband. I have never had a PIV orgasm unless l rub my clit during sex. My husband has always believed that "she comes first", so through oral, fingering or vibrators I orgasm before intercourse.
At times I do rub my clitoris while having sex. Then I do orgasm. Hope this helps. I love all of your well written romantic stories! Keep writing.
I hear you, it’s not mind blowing orgasms every time and I’ve been so encouraged by the community sharing their struggles and vulnerabilities around their sex lives. We all come into the wedding night with different expectations and comfortability levels, but I’ve found this community also to be a space of sharing victories & special moments too 🙂
As a single man this is something I’m definitely curious about as well. I’m sure it varies widely from woman to woman, but I do think there’s more to it than just that. Maybe even if there’s no direct clit stimulation with a vibrato or hand.. maybe it’s more so the combination of penetration and pelvis grinding while the man is fully inside. I’m sure also if the vagina is being stretched by a penis there is some indirect stimulation on the clit from the skin/lips/mound moving to accommodate a big cock. I would imagine even direct clit stimulation would feel different with or without a cock inside. Maybe it’s a combination of those things plus being super horny and hot in the moment?
I know I’m not a woman but I’ll put in my two bits anyway: My wife DID orgasm during intercourse when she gave me her virginity on our honeymoon. For the first several years of our marriage we’d foreplay until she was very close then we’d do PIV and usually come together.
But eventually, as time went on, a combination of her neurological issues and me getting early RA made it difficult. So I bought her a vibrator. It worked great and we learned sex positions that facilitated vibe use so we incorporate the vibe during our foreplay and all our lovemaking.
Fact is, she NEEDS a vibrator now to orgasm. And that’s fine with us. We have a big selection to choose from that I get out before a lovemaking session! Sometimes Melody and I cum together during intercourse as she uses a vibe. Sometimes she cums after I’ve filled her pussy with cum as she uses a vibe on her clitoris and I love on her nipples.
So pure “vaginal” orgasms are a thing of our past for our marriage but we couldn’t care less. I even love the feel of the vibrations through her vaginal wall during sexual innnercourse!
Thank you all for these replies! I sometimes feel like I could get a vaginal orgasm if I press and rub my finger against that front wall, but it never quite gets there. To answer CrazyHappyLoved, I do use my finger quite actively in my vagina. I've even gotten two fingers in on occasion. I had a transvaginal ultrasound done a few months ago (mentioned in an earlier post) and it really hurt. Of course, it was a cold instrument and I was dry, so that definitely made a difference.
But I have used tampons, and I bought a vibrator, which I'll talk about in an upcoming post, so I am sure my hymen must be torn by now. And yes, I do rub that spot along the front wall and try to experiment with angles and motions. It is enjoyable at certain angles. I think the pressure on my bladder adds to that. The vibrator has been fun too. I picture it being my future husband's penis and am trying different rhythms and angles to figure out where the pleasure spots are. I guess I just won't fully know until I get the real thing!
Kudos to you on buying and enjoying a vibrator! And yes, let the fantasies about future hubby run wild! And my wife’s hymen wasn’t torn until our wedding night, and I WISH she had done that on her own! So it’s not a bad thing if that’s out of the way. I’m looking forward to your future stories about the vibe!!
Ooh, I want to chime in!
For me, sex has always "felt good", and by that I mean PIV sex, with or without manual or oral clit stimulation. When I was younger, I urgently desired that the thrusting not stop, which I now attribute to G-spot or A-spot orgasms—waves of pleasure that culminate, but then immediately start building again. In certain positions, there is also an element of rhythmic pressure directly on my clit as our bodies meet, but I don't think that has ever brought me to a clitoral orgasm—and there is a discernable difference! Still, I think most "studies" don't consider the G-spot or A-spot orgasm, only the clitoral one, and I think that's a huge mistake. If a woman learns to differentiate and appreciate all the different ways of climaxing, she will enjoy sex a lot more, and her husband will get the blessing of bringing her so many forms of satisfaction. I will say, though, that after internal orgasms, I always want more. While I *can* have more than one clitoral orgasm, the second is usually long in coming and rarely "needed."
It doesn't surprise me that you don't get a lot of pleasure from just a finger plunging in and out of your vagina. For one, it probably isn't stretching your walls. Since you are a virgin and probably have an intact hymen—unless it has been torn by exercise or sports activities or were born without one—you most likely are only stretching the tiny opening there, and its nerve endings are few, though still enough for you to probably feel it tear during first-time intercourse. For another, straight in-and-out plunging is less stimulating without a) a head with a rim around it ad b) a strong, eager body behind it.
You might try curving your fingertip(s) toward your front wall and exploring for a sometimes smooth and swollen, sometimes wrinkly-feeling patch of tissue. it's probably within finger's reach, especially if you use the longest one. Massage it it different ways—e.g. come-hither, side-to-side, drawing circles around it, and up and down the sides of it, especially if you can fit two fingers and spread them in a V—and see how that affects your sexual tension. For me, alternating between this kind of stimulation and direct clitoral manipulation builds my excitement most. If I concentrate too much on my clit, it will become "jaded" and I might not make it to orgasm. This may be due to my age (55) and/or my frequent vibrator use, though.
Another idea is to flatten your hand so that your palm either massages your clit while you explore inside (akin to your husband "grinding") or sport of spanks your clit while your finger plunges. I have found that even firm spanking of my clit can make me squirt, so if you want to avoid that, maybe keep it light.
Prayers for your husband-to-be, wherever he is, to be preparing himself to pleasure you always.
CHL…love what you said and I completely agree!!!
One thing I wanted to add was I for as long as I can remember have always wanted that full feeling inside of me. I think it’s a feeling a lot of women crave at random times. I’ve also always been so fascinated with a penis getting an erection. When I see this happen to my husband I want him. And being that turned on and wanting those things might play a role in why or how I can orgasm hard from just PIV sex.
CHL included some great advice for finding your G-spot while fingering yourself. It feels really, really good, and I highly recommend you exploring this, lol. Have you gotten a dildo or any kind of internal toy?
PIV sex and an orgasm from penetration alone is definitely something that happens to me, but I am always very aroused or wanting sex. I have noticed I can even cum from the in and out penetration my husband is causing by thrusting. Sometimes that orgasm comes sooner than expected. I also have a thing for my G-spot, lol, and I think PIV sex hits your G-spot as well.
Fingering feels good, but it’s not the kind of thing that ever made me cum without rubbing my clitoris as well. It’s also different from my man’s two fingers moving in a come hither motion inside of me directly trying to hit my G-spot.
Like CHL said, after I cum from PIV I can usually have many more…and who doesn’t want to cum again? 😘
We have had mostly great experiences with what I found out is the "coital alignment technique” where the man in missionary does ‘lean in’ with his pubis hitting or lightly grinding against the clitoris. Leads to great orgasms, but it’s not just the PIV category. But as many have said, lots of foreplay to get your spouse really “ready” is another big key.
My wife has came from just PIV sex, but it takes a pretty hard pounding which I think her clit gets stimulated some too. But mostly, PIV sex includes her or me touching, rubbing or vibrating her clit. She says an orgasm feels better with something like a penis inside to clamp down on while she orgasms. But mostly, it is her clit that gets her there.
We've been married 52 years. 52 years of wonderful clitoral orgasms. Wasted a lot of time trying for a vaginal (G spot) orgasm.
This is a good question, and I’ve also wondered how common it is for women to get pleasure from PIV sex. I enjoy the full feeling and the intimacy of it. Most of the time, I orgasm from PIV sex. To me, it’s a matter of high arousal before penetration and angles; any positions with G-spot stimulation are my favorites.
I agree, lady! I swear, I crave PIV sex or oral from hubby the most, but I’m addicted to that penis of his, haha. It makes me feel so good, and it’s definitely a very full feeling. And knowing that your man is that hard for you and groaning/moaning while having sex—that makes me come undone. It truly does feel so good to me, but I definitely need to be aroused for a long time or have my clitoris touched to orgasm from this. Also, him massaging my clitoris makes me open up enough to fit him inside.
There is something called the Coitial alignment technique (CAT). you can google it. It tells you how to position yourself durring PIV. Pelvis and gential contact is key.
I’m mostly a lurker but this one caught my attention. First, I agree with shimmysassy re: the stories that are over the top. For me, the more realistic the story, the hotter it is and more it gets me going.
I totally get wondering this if you’ve never had sex. For my wife and I, she is definitely turned on by penetration at the right angle. Some penetration does almost nothing for her though. She often orgasms via penetration but it’s always with clitoral stimulation as well. Hitting her inside at the right angle on the right spot while rubbing her clit with my thumb and either aggressively licking her nipple or doing so with my finger get her over the top. The spot is relatively close to the entrance of her pussy, it isn’t deep. So for her, penetration is helpful but it’s definitely not enough to orgasm!
I think for you in preparation for marriage using a dildo and playing with the angle while adding clitoral stimulation makes a lot of sense! Nothing will simulate your future husband, but you should be able to learn what feels nice.
Your wife sounds very similar to me! Lol. I also can orgasm from PIV, but it has to be the right angle, and I often like my clit played with, too (but you can tell it’s not just a clitoral orgasm). I am a huge fan of certain angles and G-spot Os.
Totally agree on the dildo thing. My mom suggested I try a dildo because I kept asking how it felt, etc. She thought I deserved to know what it felt like and how wet I could get myself to fit something that size inside of me. Well she was absolutely right, and I still occasionally thank her for that one to this day. It shortly became my favorite hobby after that, so I totally think LLL should give it a try!
My wife could only cum vaginally if she was in the cowgirl position and had control how her clit rubbed against my pubic bone, but that was a very successful way for her to cum. Other than that we used oral sex, her vibrator, her hands to come manually.
If you haven’t done so already, read some MH stories while you’re alone and explore what feels the best. Then involve your spouse if you’re married. This exploration will help you a great deal.
Often my wife just wanted to feel me inside of her, whether she came or not. I would nearly exit her then back in again and again. She loved it.
Good luck and have fun learning.
So right about making it fun and not pressured. The coital allignment works great but wife on top is another fantastic method. Also, no matter if she’s on top or bottom, playing with her nipples works to really increase her excitement as well.
I usually have clitoral orgasms, have had some G-spot orgasms, and just one orgasm from purely mental stimulation. I love PIV sex. But it wouldn't feel good if I wasn't very aroused first, usually by sucking my husband's cock. There are also certain angles that make it better: having him move his hips up higher in missionary, or throwing your legs over his shoulders, or placing a stack of pillows underneath your hips in doggy style. There are other things that absolutely change the sensation for me, like having my breasts stimulated at the same time, stimulating my own clit while he does it, or sucking on his fingers or tongue. And actually just having him moan into my mouth. I get doses of his pheromones that absolutely keep me hot for him throughout the fucking. The other thing that really gets me going is having him on top of me and thrusting hard. Something about how he feels so manly. I can feel his biceps or his pecks as he works over me and puts all his passion into me. He feels so strong, and I'm quite happy to be under him. I feel very warm and protected. So, that's why I love PIV sex Maybe some of it, you'll be able to relate to. Best wishes for your happiness.
Great answer. Thanks for not being shy about the details… gave me arousal. Likely because I relate to this, sounds much like me and my wife!