Old Dogs, New Tricks?

There’s nothing more delightful than a young, playful puppy.  The connectedness between it and its master as it learns to fetch a ball, play tug of war, or even learn a new “trick” for a bone or treat creates a special bond between the two that lasts a lifetime.

It’s been said: “A dog is a man’s best friend.” In many ways, that’s true. Men jokingly say: “A dog will always love you, is always glad to see you come home, and will never refuse to let you pet them.” There’s a lot of truth there.

There’s also the saying: “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”  I’ve got a dog I’ve had for nearly 14 years now, and although I was able to teach him to sit, lay down and roll over in order to get a treat from me, I’ve never been successful in getting him to fetch and bring the bone back to me.  But I believe that’s probably my fault.

PLAY is important. It’s important to dogs, it’s important to kids, and it’s important to adults.

It’s important to find playful things you enjoy doing to relieve the daily stressors of life and work.  Elementary schools recognize “recess” as a vital element of a child’s well-being.  Employers allow employees breaks during the day and vacations to help them decompress and unwind.  Life is more than work. And even Alaskan Huskies (although they enjoy the thrill of pulling the bobsled) look forward to being unhitched after the run and playing with their master.

Which brings us to Marriage…

Many a couple, while often enjoying/reminiscing about the earlier years of their marriage, often wonder what happened to the energy between them, the passion, the playfulness, spontaneity and FUN!!!???

Relatively recent research has found that the chemical phenylethylamine (PEA) is responsible for that euphoric, magical period in a new relationship.  But PEA naturally subsides and its euphoric effects usually disappear within a few months to a few years.  That leaves a couple with a dilemma.  What to do to keep a relationship vibrant and alive?

The solution is commitment coupled with intentionality.

Although every couple and situation is unique, the fact that a couple initially were attracted to each other and experienced that fiery passion suggests that it can again be fanned into flame.  If a couple knew how to play and have fun together in prior years, they can learn to again.

But one or both need to make it a priority if it is going to happen.  And it may feel like work to the high-desire partner seeking novelty and passion in the relationship.  That just comes along with the territory as the high-desire partner.  The lower-desire partner just probably isn’t gonna be the “cheerleader” pushing for some new kink to fan the flames when they’re basically happy with the status quo.

NEW TRICKS…

While it’s true that, as we age, we often can’t physically do what we did when we were younger, that doesn’t mean we can’t learn new tricks.  But one thing’s for sure: we’ll never attain a status that we don’t first believe is possible.

“What do I want from my marriage?”

“Will I/we be doomed to a lackluster sexual relationship of the same old-same old with my wife for the rest of our lives?”

“If I could have what I wanted—to create an exciting, passionate and deeply-satisfying relationship for us both—what would be in my ‘Bucket List’?”

These are questions I began to ask myself.  And I began to push myself beyond my comfort zone, slowly revealing myself and my deep passions/desires to my spouse, while seeking the LORD in prayer and believing His Word…

Psalm 84:11 (KJV)

For the LORD God [is] a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good [thing] will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.

Matthew 7:7-11 (ESV)

7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. 9 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? 11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

While it wasn’t easy to open up to my wife and be vulnerable regarding the lack of passion in our relationship, it was a necessary and pivotal step on our road to recovery.  She didn’t immediately stand up and applaud me or my “ideas.”  I told her a few years ago that although we were “beyond our prime,” I believed God was going to “restore the years the locust, the cankerworm and caterpillar” had taken from us (Joel 2:25) and that our best years sexually (and otherwise) lay ahead of us.

My Bucket List…

I think every guy’s got a fertile mind, chock full of ideas when it comes to adding some kink to his relationship.  The first time I saw an adult sex swing, I said:

“I’ve got to get one of these!”

But the ever-considerate, ultra-conservative Curt, who’s been accused of constantly “white-knuckling” life, paused to ask himself: Can/should a 66-year-old couple really pursue playing on a Sex Swing?

Curt’s alter ego courageously stepped up to definitively answer that question. Only if they want to have fun!

I always loved swings as a kid.  And I love sex.  They were made for each other, kinda like the peanut butter and chocolate combo in a Reese’s PB Cup.  I did my research and read the reviews… especially the ladies’ reviews. They were stoked.   Many said it was the best investment in their relationship they’d made in a long time.

But Curt and Cecilia aren’t “everybody else.”  Cecilia isn’t “all the other women” in the reviews.   I knew better than to go there!  Would Cecilia go for it?  What would she think?

After some time in a mental wrestling match, the best in me decided I couldn’t continue to live my life constantly trying to please everyone else.  I couldn’t expect everyone to validate all my choices in life.  I had to stand up for what I like and desire in life sometimes when it’s important to me.  This was one of those times.

And so I followed the sound advice of my alter ego and hit the “proceed to checkout” button on Amazon.

When Cecilia saw the charge come across our credit card statement from Amazon for $79.99, she asked if I recognized the charge.

OK, Curt, this is it, I told myself. Be bold, strong and courageous… and a little light-hearted.

“Oh… I saw this sex swing on Amazon, and it looks like it’s gonna be so much fun.  I can’t wait to get it and try it out!  It’s got a 4.6 rating out of 5 on Amazon and practically all the ladies rave about it!”

She was floored…

“You bought what???”

“How much of our money did you spend on that thing???”

“We’re not teenagers.  I don’t think I know you anymore.”

“Well, if YOU wanna play/swing on it, I can’t stop you;  But I’m not getting on it!”

It was delivered.  She rolled her eyes when it arrived.  It sat in our back room for eight months.  The return period expired.  Was Curt gonna push ahead?

About a week ago, while Cecilia was at work, I hung our sex swing.  This past Sunday after church, as it was relatively warm and sunny, I decided to take off my shirt and get some sun down on our deck at the creek.  She was sitting up on the steps of our cabin a little way off.

I was nearly asleep when I thought I heard someone walk up the steps and onto the deck.  I opened my eyes, and there she was looking down at me.  She glanced over towards the sex swing hanging from the rafter of our pavilion and said:

“So you went ahead and hung it huh?”

“Yup,” I replied.  “I can’t wait to use it!”

“I hope YOU have fun on it,” she said.

“Oh, I will!”

With that, she slid a straight chair over to sit in the sun next to me.  I got up and brought her a chaise lounge so she’d be more comfortable and could recline.  Then I reached over and pulled up her blouse and bra. 

She grabbed them and said, “What are you doing?”

“You need to take your top and bra off and let them see some sun.  No one’s gonna see you.  That’s one of the reasons I built this pavilion with that back wall for privacy,” I explained.

After 10 minutes or so of basking in the 59-degree sunshine, I got up and stood looking towards the swing.  Then I stripped completely down.  I walked over to the swing and began adjusting the straps, which hadn’t been adjusted for us.

“What are you doing?” she asked again.

“I’m adjusting these straps.  They’re not the right height for us,”  I explained.

“I told you I’m not getting in that thing,” she again informed me.

“I heard you,” I replied. 

Then after getting the straps adjusted, I proceeded to climb up into the swing!

She watched the whole scenario as it unfolded incredulously before her eyes.  Her bare-assed, conservative husband, suspended before God and everyone in a sex swing, outside on their deck.

Intrigued, she arose from her lounge chair and walked over to me as I attempted to get the swing to move back and forth.  She grabbed my feet and gave me a slight push to get me going.  All of a sudden, there was a loud “thud” as my head hit the round, aluminum coffee table behind me.

“Damn!” I said (not the best choice of words.)

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that!” she offered.

“I’m OK… it didn’t hurt that bad.”

What she did next floored me and took me completely by surprise.  She rocked me back and forth a few times, but then positioned herself between my thighs with my knees up in the air, suspended by the straps/supports of the swing.  The other straps had me in a position where I was laid back; one strap/support beneath my waist and another beneath my shoulders/upper torso and an additional head support (I sprung for it for comfort.)

Standing there between my thighs and rocking me, she reached for my dick and started playing with it.  After a few minutes of that, she leaned forward, resting her elbows on my thighs and her weight on her arms.  Then she took me in her mouth and began to play with me.  She simultaneously used her legs to swing us back and forth as she licked, sucked and slurped on my cock.  Her left hand held my manhood while she provided her oral ministrations.  Simultaneously, her right hand juggled/rolled my balls.

I was in absolute bliss!  Was this really happening?  Is this the same woman who for eight months had given me grief about buying this thing?  And, she seemed to be really enjoying herself.  Almost as much as I was.

While lying there, I noticed a few items dangling next to my head support.  Upon closer inspection, I noticed they were padded Velcro wrist restraints attached to the head support with a few links of chain.  Another item on my Bucket List!

Tie me down and have your way with me! I thought.

“Come up here!” I barked as she was busy at her passion.

“Don’t yell at me!  I’m busy!” she tried to get out with her mouth full of dick.

“Yes, I can see that.  But please come up here!”

She pushed herself up off of me, and my dick flopped out of her mouth.  Then She moved around to where my head was.

“Look!!!” I cried out, holding up one of the restraints.

“What are they?” she asked.

“Restraints!” I replied. “Tie me down with them!”  I requested.

She got my wrists restrained in the cuffs on both sides of my head and then moved back around to return to her position between my legs, dragging/rubbing her hand along my abdomen and through my chest hair as she went.

Where did this sexy vixen come from?  God, what did you do with my wife?  What did I do to deserve this feeling of total acceptance, love and transcendence from this beautiful woman?  I asked myself. 

A reply from above came instantaneously to me:

“You did nothing to deserve it.  This is My work, My doing, my son.  Remember from my Word:

‘Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. James 1:17 (KJV)?’

I know how to bless you, give you good gifts.   Do you doubt my love for you now?”

My Father had spoken.  He was watching all this unfold.  Years of prayers.  He saw it and said, “It is good…  It is very good!”  as He watched His two children Curt and Cecilia, man and wife, bless and enjoy each other according to His glorious design.

Although I could have swung and had my dear wife suck on me forever, I didn’t want her to wear herself out.  She insisted she was fine, but I can tell when she’s not being 100% upfront with me, trying to please me.

I pried her off of my man parts, reached up to grab the straps above my head (after getting myself out of the Velcro restraints), and pulled myself upward.  I got my feet/legs out of the “stirrups,” so to speak, and dismounted from the swing.

“What are you doing?” she asked me.  “Let me finish you off!”

“No” I replied. “I don’t think I can take any more!  And besides, this 20 minutes or so has gone by too quickly.  I want this to last forever.  Now it’s YOUR turn!”

And with that, knowing she probably wasn’t gonna get up into the swing—as it wasn’t adjusted right for her—I reached behind me for the aluminum-framed loveseat with the thick, padded cushions and pulled it out from the cool, shaded area of the pavilion into the warm sunshine.

I helped her get her clothes off, and we fucked.  I was so excited thrusting against her lying on the loveseat for several minutes that I thought I had actually entered her but was mistaken.  Once I did enter her, we continued for several minutes with moans and groans coming from both of us.  But eventually, I remembered my secret weapons.  My mouth, tongue, lips and fingers can work magic on her the way I only dream my penis can.

I withdrew my dick and, after kissing her deeply in a tight embrace, worked my way down her voluptuous body and into her secret garden of spices.  God knows what He’s doing.  One whiff of her scented garden and Curt is miraculously transformed into a fucking animal.  Literally.

I lightly brushed her inner thighs.  I kissed them.  Licked them.  Kissed and licked her outer and inner lips as I massaged her strong legs and ran my hands across her stomach.  Then I plunged a finger into her now dripping introitus, eager to be explored/penetrated.  I slid in one finger, then after announcing it, a second finger, slowly in and out, gently probing/massaging her warm, wet cunt.

Finding her G-spot up on the anterior wall, I massaged, rubbed and tapped it as I simultaneously feasted on her inner lips and then moved up to her waiting clitoris.  Pulling gently upwards on the skin of her lower abdomen just above her clit, I pulled the clitoral hood back so I could minister to this pearl of great price.

What is she feeling?  Can I make it better?  These are thoughts I believe go through every loving husband’s mind as he’s making love.  Not being women, we’ll never know what they feel/experience during sex.  But in my mind, I wondered if there might indeed be some similarities in the sexes with regard to innervation/sensation.

We all start out the same in utero.  A boy’s testes begin to develop after 6-7 weeks of gestation.  At 10 weeks the bud between his legs elongates to become his penis.  It continues to grow in length throughout pregnancy to about 3.5 cm at birth.  Could it be that my wife’s most sensitive “bits” are like mine, concentrated between a line from her G-spot upwards all the way up to and culminating with her clitoris;  corresponding to the small, hypersensitive area on the underside of my penis, just below the coronal ridge?

After much experience and practice, this hypothesis/model has worked well for me.  With my mouth, tongue and fingers in place, I dove into my “work,” enjoying the delectable feast before me!  I glanced upwards at her frequently, awestruck, mesmerized, under her power.  I moaned and groaned as I heard her shrieks and suppressed screams, my glutes tensing and thrusting involuntarily.

Finally, she could take no more and squealed/screamed as she pulled my head forcefully into her groin, her head thrown back in ecstasy.  When she relaxed, I lay quietly, silently between her legs, my head a willing prisoner of her sex between her legs.  She’d opened to me and let me in.  Into her body.  Into her heart.  Into her soul.

The afternoon shadows began to fall, and the (outside) temps with them.  But Curt had a load to get rid of. I lay down next to her, spent and enjoying her peaceful afterglow, and held her tightly in my left arm as we reclined on the loveseat in the warm rays of sunshine.  The rushing mountain stream played its symphony right behind us with an occasional songbird singing out in accompaniment, as I thought:

It don’t get any better than this!

I grabbed my cock with my right hand and with a dab of lube, I began to slowly and sensually stroke my throbbing dick in an effort to wrap this party up and “christen” this momentous occasion.  Up and down, I slid my hand across the sensitive nerve endings around my cock, feeling its wonderful fullness just waiting to explode.  Cecilia’s warm left hand played with my roiling balls, enhancing the impending eruption.

Suddenly and joyously I growled out an “O Fuck!!!” as I felt my testicles contract, jettisoning stream after stream of their blessed, warm contents across my belly, my hand, and up across and onto her left forearm.

Time stands still…

We lay there in absolute peace and serenity as I felt both of us covered in my semen.  I took a deep breath and lay silently, listening to both of us breathe.  The creek babbled in the distance.

Not sure about any other old dogs, but learning New Tricks is certainly worthwhile to this one.

Next trick???

Maybe get HER up on/into the swing?