Hot Monogamy Lifestyle Masturbation Poll
Hot Monogamy Lifestyle Masturbation Poll
Loading ...Hot Monogamy Lifestyle Masturbation Poll Discussion Starters
In the comment below, please share your story about masturbation. When did you first start? Was it considered taboo in your community? Discuss any struggles you faced during your sexual journey. Have you ever felt obsessed with masturbation? Also, if you have any, please share advice on how to engage in healthy and moderate masturbation. Any other comments?
My husband and I often masturbate while imagining friends and relatives couples having sex. Especially when one of these couples announces a pregnancy, we automatically imagine the conception sex.
wow! i would love to do this with my wife. this would be a huge turn on to hear what my wife fantasizes about and talking abour our friends having sex. Can you please talk about it more, like what you two imagine about other couples having sex while you two masturbate
My wife and I do something similar where we masturbate together and imagine really intimate scenarios like that. Sometimes it’s even better than intercourse with some of the things she says.
@bulaman I usually show him the Instagram profiles of these couples… I make him imagine the sexual positions, the wives' moans and the couples' "dirty talks"… he also likes me to make observations about the bodies of women and girls teenagers who attend our church.
Omgah im so glad im not the only one who does this!!! I masturbate to church friends ig accounts a lot 🙈
@Thaysmom It turns my hubby on when I look at other women too! He likes it when I admire other women’s bodies… If the gal has a really nice butt it’ll catch my attention and we’ll both be looking, lol. I like to admire gals bodies with my husband… and it turns us both on. There have even been a few times that he had fantasy and dirty talk about her later that night.
@Texashmom That’s hot! You enjoy pleasuring yourself to friends Instagram photos? Are there particular pics of your friends that you like to masturbate to? Alone without hubby, obviously 😉
I love thinking about other women here masturbating and fingering, and rubbing themselves!
I second bulaman’s comment! Would love to hear 😉
@LilaY69, i would love to hear more of yours too. you are my favorite writer here as my thoughts and fantasies are similar to yours
We enjoy masturbation in all ways: solo, mutual, watching, side-by-side, at home, when away, etc. We often tell each other when we do. We ask each other if they have masturbated – we do so to encourage each other to enjoy ourselves. In summary, we are big time masturbators and we love it!!
Growing up, masturbation was never a topic of discussion. Yet, we always heard of everyone having sex, & all other kinds of sexual exploits. I often believe, of people from my era, that people wouldn't be caught dead letting on that they played with themselves. I've met people who would brag about their promiscuity, but never a peep about masturbation. If it were ever talked about it was to make fun of a person. That they had to do it cause they couldn't get any real sex. I understood people would rather have a one night stand, or a promiscuous lifestyle, than to have masturbated. Yet, promiscuity is a sin, & masturbation is hardly (if at all) mentioned in the Bible. I personally believe personal masturbation helps with marital intimacy. People who don't touch themselves to arousal & orgasm can be handicapped romantically, intimately, & often lack that slow hand enjoyment.
I still remember the first time she caught me masturbating in the shower. We were, maybe, 5 years married and I'd left the door unlocked by accident. I had my eyes closed, pleasuring my cock and I heard a sound to find her in front of me. I was shocked and embarrassed. She was grinning all over her face, loving it.
It broke the ice and we happily do it alone or together now. I love the idea of her alone in bed with a toy. She will encourage me to "enjoy your shower!" (I often do although rarely all the way – I save that for her).
She absolutely loves watching me. It turns her on and I do it for just that.
I chose solo and intimacy enhancement. DW’s intimacy frequency is once per week. She knows mine is higher and is fine with me taking care of myself. but also, until very recently, we could not do PIV due to pain for her. Thus, mutual masturbation was our go to. Even now, we use mutual masturbation as foreplay most of the time.
Hubbie here: an answer evolved over 44+ years of dating and marriage …
* pre-Queen, adolescent boy discovering my cock? All the time! It was pure discovery, release, and pleasure. And yes, I lusted after hot classmates, and lingerie models, especially Jill Goodacre!
* pre-Queen, dating several girlfriends, lots of making out, decent petting, some oral, didn’t always lead directly to me cumming in the moment. Later, I took matters into my own hand, so to speak! Buckets!
* dating Queen in college, both saved, making out, light petting, heading to marriage, tried to keep things in control. After long distance phone calls, I masturbated & shot all the time, lusting for her!
* married, decent sex life, I was higher drive, never felt “unfulfilled”, if you know what I mean! Queen always blessed me with her love and plenty of O’s. Any masturbation was a rare, business trip occasion.
* married, empty nest now, and I save all my O’s for Queen! With some ED, I don’t have any “ammo” to waste, and we are sexual in some way almost every day! Missing a day is a rare event! So blessed!
The point of all this is I have always been very highly sexual, and my amazing wife blesses me, meeting my needs all the time! Now she is coming into her own fuller identity and ownership of her sexuality and that makes things better beyond measure! Intentional passion is marriage power for sure!”
As an early twenties single Christian woman who has a high sex drive, I do enjoy masturbation and fantasizing about my future husband. My parents encouraged me to enjoy my body and take responsibility for my happiness as a woman and, hopefully, as a wife and mother someday.
I started touching myself at around 12; at around that time, my mother gave me the first talk, and those talks continued through my teen years. She started with the essentials, but she cooked up a food metaphor.
She mentioned that my body was created by God for sexual pleasure connected to reproduction. She advocated that God hardwired sexuality in men and women differently. A man, your father, is designed with a penis that is created by God to go erect to perfectly fit in a woman's body. She said, you and I are designed with a vagina, which she called a pussy to receive this incredible "love tool." God hardwired pleasure in what is called sex or lovemaking.
She gave warnings about pornography that would be like sugar candy, that rots your sex drive like candy might taste great at first but will rot your teeth. She said she and her dad have learned this from experience. (I have seen some pornography, and I can see what she means. It makes you sexually edgy like candy does. You might relieve the anxious stress through masturbation; it relieves sexual tension, but you feel empty. It makes you hungry for more, but more candy.)
We had many talks about the biology of sex. In Mom's first talk, Mom mentioned that men's erect penis shoot out sperm and that if a man shoots sperm into a woman, this sperm may fertilize a woman's egg. "That's how I got pregnant with you, honey." I was amazed.
Mom asked if I noticed pleasure when I touched myself down there? I admitted I did. She taught me about the clit and power center for woman's pleasure. She said that when you feel it and keep touching it, a feeling of intense pleasure will come over you; that is called a "climax." This is a blessing to women that can happen more than once after the first one. Mom clarified that there is nothing like a man's love tool inside your pussy. She called it the main meal of sex! God designed you to enjoy a man and his love tool. She later talked about how Genesis says, "Two shall be one flesh."
She mentioned that in our society, masturbation is personal and private until you are married, then it can include your husband. She mused somewhere in my teens that she masturbates alone and with my dad, and so does dad. And this masturbation enhances their lovemaking.
Throughout my teen years, we talked about masturbation. Masturbation without pornography, where you engage your sexual imagination, is like salad, not the main meal. She mentioned that maybe I would never get married, but a woman can do fine on salads if she never gets married. She encouraged me to avoid the "fast food" (the sex outside of marriage, one-night stands). Some of my friends opted for fast food, and I saw her point. They do not seem to be sexually content.
We had this funny moment when I was about 16. I came home early and surprised Mom while she was masturbating on the couch. Mom had her hand up her dress, and she was caressing her tits over her bra-less dress, and she was clearly climaxing. I saw, and I walked to my room to give her privacy. After a little bit, she called my name. She was aware I accidentally observed this. Her face was flush. I distinctly remember her saying she was enjoying a salad before your father and she went out. She said she was planning on "steak" later. With that, she saw I was getting uncomfortable. "STOP MOM!" I did blurt out, Mom, you're not wearing a bra tonight???. She said, and no panties, either. "STOP MOM!" Deep down, I felt happy and hoped that someday, I could have a salad before a steak like this.
I was home alone that night. I did have a "salad." I should write a story about that someday.
I for one would love to read that story! And I have to admit that I am jealous of your upbringing and to have the kind of guidance you had: it seems incredibly refreshing. Good parents gross their kids out! I don't know that I will ever want children but it seems to me that fostering the kind of environment that you had is the way to do it.
And I like your mom's food metaphor, I know the Art of Manliness's article on quitting porn used something incredibly similar, and coming at it from that perspective is a lot more effective than any argument I've read or heard previously.
I would love to here that story of salad as well!
You are getting lots of votes to encourage you to write your Salad Story!
I agree with Faith Manages – you should write a story about this.
Yes. Do write that story. Add it to this story.
Thanks for all your encouragement. I submitted a story including refining my post.
EmpoweredWoman.
What a wonderful story, a healthy, wholesome education taught in a beautiful open way. A model for Christians to follow. A story worth keeping and sharing.
Enjoy lots of 'salad'. My compliment to your mother (and father I presume) for a job well done.
Empowered Woman updated her full story. Click here to read – https://marriageheat.com/2023/12/24/masturbation-for-single-christians/
I think masturbation is God's great gift to singles that has been condemned for far too long. I am thankful that I am to the point where I can masturbate free from shame. My first time happened when I was 13 or 14 as I took a shower, I sat down cross-legged in the bathtub letting the warm water wash over me. I was home alone and curious. I wasn't hard at the time and had no idea what I was doing, I just started by gently hitting my penis with my closed fist. I quickly realized that wouldn't do much but as I began to become more excited I gripped myself and then started rubbing up and down while holding tightly to the skin of my penis. The pleasure was intense and I stopped several times just to let it wash over me, and also because I didn't know when I was supposed to be finished, only that I didn't ever want to stop. I could feel something building but I also felt the need to pee which scared me a bit, but finally I decided that since I was in the shower anyway I wouldn't make a mess I couldn't clean up easily. There was no mess but there was of course my first orgasm.
@She Calls Me Mister brings up a lot of good points about the attitude of the world. I'm about as likely to admit publicly to masturbating as I am to being a virgin, either will invite ridicule which I don't need. On the other extreme is the puritanical attitude prevalent in the Church which has heaped shame and condemnation on young adults (as well as children) for so many generations. I had already been exposed to both extremes for years by the time I started masturbating and my struggle in the intervening decades has been to walk a line of moderation between the two. But from the beginning I felt shame for making myself feel good. I've read arguments that try to say that this is the prompting of the Holy Spirit but I disagree–does God speak to us using the emotions of shame and guilt?
As nearly every man discovers, the blending of pornography with masturbation proved to be a difficult stronghold to break, I can't say that I'm completely there yet but I have allowed God to work in me and together we've made great progress. I think from the start what I wanted to see was couples entwined in a loving embrace–what my dad would defend as simple curiosity–though it did devolve from there. I didn't watch a porn video until I was away at college and even then what I was searching for was just sounds of women having orgasms; but I found videos of women masturbating instead, and from there it spiraled downward.
Still, I think God used this to reveal to me what I find most arousing, which is female pleasure. For the woman I marry, I long to help her discover and experience such intense arousal and orgasms, and to find such intimate and intense emotional connectedness. Just as Jesus showed with the washing of feet that true leadership begins with service, and men are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. Masturbation can and SHOULD be used as a preparation for serving my future wife, not by merely seeking my own gratification, but to learn my own responses in order to delay gratification and prolong the experience. Then again these days I've put my penis aside in order to focus on prostate massage, semen retention, building up my own sexual energy, with the ultimate goal of learning multiple orgasms.
My mom was raised Catholic and God bless them, but I have my issues with the tradition of the Roman church that is still inherent in all denominations, starting with how their teachings reinforce women's insecurities regarding sex. I'm still formulating this theory but there seems to be a real uneasiness regarding male sexuality which I think women feel compelled to quash, and while men know that it's wrong, it becomes a battle that they sacrifice in order to have peace in their marriage (and ultimately sex). So the hurt and the shame gets shunted down to the sons and daughters of the next generation.
Any "discussion" I've had with a fellow believer regarding masturbation started with him having the preconception that porn and masturbation are inextricably linked which simply isn't true. My journey didn't start out that way and thankfully with God's Grace the two have been separated again. This site has helped as well (https://marriageheat.com/2020/12/07/is-it-ok-that-i-fantasize-about-her/) in my conception of just what "Lust" is, when it seems to be used today as a catch-all for whatever the arguer wants it to mean, not necessarily what it was originally meant to. This feeds back into my conviction that there is the acceptance of the Bible as literal Truth, then there is believing a TRANSLATION of the Bible literally in every instance.
And I'm getting far afield now. But I hope that in my future marriage that we never lose the sense of connectedness to our own bodies whether together or separately. I want to foster freedom in my future marriage for either party to self-pleasure because I know the disparity of desire can be a real thing and I don't expect that I or my wife will get sex every time either of us desires it. But if not sex, this could still be a wonderful way of being intimate together. I think mutual masturbation is an incredibly exciting activity which I can't wait to do someday. And I think it's hot when women masturbate, learn their bodies and how to give themselves pleasure, how to let go and reach greater heights. I hope my future wife masturbates, I hope she's at it right now. I hope she reads this someday and it inspires her to go pleasure herself. I'm hard just thinking about it. And now I might have to go do something about that…
My wife and I mutually masturbate about twice a week. We have regular sex some in place of that. We both enjoy it, it is relaxing and we enjoy watching each other. We both use toys. I never masturbate without the wife knowing beforehand, I want her to have the opportunity to play too or have sex instead! We enjoy intercourse too, but side by side masturbation is nice.
We had conversations about masturbation, including show & tells, after I got home early from a job, and caught my wife doing herself! I have caught her other times, but that is still one of my favorite memories!
Ayway, since then, masturbation became a thing we did together.
I didn’t see a fitting choice to vote for but masturbation plays a big part in my wife and I’s sex life. She has some health issues that sometimes leave her completely exhausted and no energy whatsoever. During these times I’ll just start stroking my cock next to her in bed and she will watch me ( which she enjoys) or run her hands all over me, play with my balls, or more recently play with my ass. It doesn’t replace the intimacy of sex but I do feel it’s more intimate than doing it alone and makes those times she has energy for sex even better!
I have such an incredibly fulfilling sex life that I don't even feel the need to solo pleasure anymore (believe me, there was a time when neither of these was the case). But I did give one answer: Fantasizing Together. Sometimes we're content to give each other a hand job, so, close enough. The scenario itself varies little. I am the captor/rescuer, she is the captive princess being rescued – but the details, sequence, choice of words, amount of both verbal and non-verbal conversation, and timing is never remotely the same way twice. We never get bored or tired of it, ever.
I love solo urges and especially if you know your day will be stressful. Just wish there was a good safe site's to share in conversations or read other posts of fantasy
We were married more than 10 years, before we had our first conversation about masturbation. There was a point that Amanda became open to the idea. She wrote about that in her story, "Tearing Down the Fence" which is posted in the masturbation story category. Since the fence came down, masturbation, especially mutual masturbation, has improved our sexual experiences. Amanda now has more than a few toys the she loves as well. We have both added solo time to our activities, but we always share when that happens. Usually this happens when we are apart or when our libidos or schedules are not in sync. We will often ask and share the things we think about when we are getting down to business. We both wish that we had been more open to this topic earlier in our marriage. We are now both free to enjoy it, alone or together. Amanda has dived into this with abandon, it really opened a door for her. Communicating about this and sharing this together has brought use closer and improved our marriage, and not just sexually.
I wasn't sure which answer fit our situation. We only use masturbation when sex is unavailable because of illness or separation due to travel.
What a beautiful stories here. I really enjoyed how you all integrate masturbation in your relationship. But also as single male/female. I hope it encourages others a lot. For now, Merry Christmas to you all and have a wonderful 2024!
This morning my wife and I were naked in bed. (We slept that way.) My wife is sick with a virus. I told her I was going to jack off while looking at naked pictures of her. (We face away from each other so maybe I won’t catch her bug.) While our legs and feet still touched, I turned up the volume of a particularly hot video I had taken of us. She was moaning loudly (I guess I was, too) in the video, and I stroked away as I watched and we listened. When about to finish I moved around and came on her ass. She moaned as she enjoys feeling my hot cum on her beautiful ass. I massaged it in with my still hard cock, then covered her up. Hope she gets well soon. Hope I wasn’t selfish. She enjoys knowing I masturbate to her naked pics and videos.
That was unselfish! You considered her feeling bad and took care of matters yourself while including her in every way healthfully possible. I'm sure she wished she felt better and could have participated more, but under the circumstances, she probably wouldn't have truly enjoyed any greater involvement. I thought it was sweet!
Incredibly hot. I hope that my future wife will be OK with me taking pictures and video of her (and us) because that's the only woman I want to see and I want to have eyes only for her!
Not at all selfish!! She loves it that you jack to her pics and videos!!!
We love to have masturbation as a part of our sex life. I travel a bit for work and FaceTime sex is always hot for us and one of my favorite things is instructional masturbation where babe watches me and tells me how to touch myself. He knows my body so well and I enjoy how detailed he gets with positions he tells me to be in and how to finger myself 💦
My wife and I often practice masturbation as part of our sex life. Sometimes she makes me watch her, sometimes I make her watch me. Often when I am on travel one of us will call and tell the other to pull down their underwear and let the other person listen while they masturbate. My wife loves to use a vibrator on her pussy while I listen to her orgasm. It is super hot!