Sexy Thoughts
Hey there, all you lovely married people. After a query about nudist resorts, I am back with another question.
By the way, our nudist experience was fantastic. It was at the Vritomartis Naturist Resort in Greece. There was no swinging, and no one was overly concerned about others. It was a great place to just be naked and enjoy yourselves.
Anyway, I want to ask the men out there:
- How much do you want to surprise your wife, pampering her with gifts, surprise trips, etc.
- Do you want her to be in nice sexy lingerie most of the time? How is it possible with kids?
- Lastly, have you ever thought of fucking your spouse in public?
For example, I want to see my babe mostly in stockings, heels, and sexy lingerie, but we have three kids. Sometimes it’s very hard, and my libido and her wetness have to be compromised. Any tips and tricks? 😍
Just some thoughts. I am looking for your answers to make our marriage all the more spicy.
Hubbie here. Glad to hear that your nudist experience was good! A Naturist Resort in Greece seems great! Are you from Europe or the Mediterranean? For Queen and I in America, going to a nude beach six hours away by car is a good trip. Probably not as posh as Vritomartis.
I will say thanks for this question because I want you to stay involved, but let me gently offer that these questions seem awkwardly phrased, and are an unusual “bundle”. Are you European or Mediterranean, and maybe phrase things differently that my “American” ears can understand?
To your first two questions, of course I love to surprise my wife with gifts, trips, etc., and yes, I love to see her in nice, sexy lingerie. I’m not sure if by “most of the time? How is it possible with kids?”, you mean that’s all you want her to wear around the house all the time. Yes, hot, but it’s probably too much.
IMHO, if you are Christians (a major premise of this site), and raising your kids in this context, I don’t think it’s possible nor appropriate for your wife to wear just a bra and panties around them, regardless of age. Not out of embarrassment or prudishness, but just daily propriety.
There are no tips and tricks other than obviously wearing hot lingerie under “normal clothes” and flashing you when apropos. She can tell you what she’s wearing “underneath”, send erotic selfies, etc. But “most of the time … with kids” complicates the question.
Question 3 seems out of left field to the others. The jump from surprises, gifts, and sexy lingerie to fucking in public is too big. Not sure where you’re going. Do you mean in public with others watching? Such an explicit public display seems outside MarriageHeat standards.
“In public” to me means others around, in view. Like “holding hands” in public. Yes, others can see. That’s different than fucking in the deep woods, or on a deserted beach at night, alone. Are these examples “in public”? Kind of, but not “in the public view”, so to speak.
I hope I haven’t misunderstood you too much, and that my comments make sense.
Blessings and passion.
Good questions! Here are my probably over-long answers – although every married couple raising children will hopefully find what works for them:
1. One of my love-languages is giving gifts. So I love giving my wife surprise gifts like precious jewelry- although surprise gifts are usually not super expensive jewelry. Anniversary, Christmas, & her birthday are times I sometimes buy her more expensive jewelry like a real opal ring from Australia. I will, from time to time, buy her a new vibrator too. Sometimes I will surprise her during a sex session with a new vibe. I also like to buy her sexy lingerie for her to wear during lovemaking sessions.
We don’t do surprise vacations ever. She wouldn’t want to do that. But I HAVE bought her surprise lingerie and jewelry to be given on a trip or vacation.
My Melody appreciates the gifts, but receiving gifts is not a big love-language for her. But I feel I need to do it anyway. I am certain that she recognizes that the gifts are one way I show her that I love her.
2. As mentioned above, I have got Melody lots of beautiful and super-sexy lingerie. Quite honestly the super-sexy and revealing lingerie IS very beautiful on her. She enjoys showing off her beautiful sexy body via the lingerie from time to time. She will dig into her lingerie drawer and put on something Uber-sexy like one of her favorites – an open crotch, open cup teddy. She has several of those teddys.
For us, her wearing sexy lingerie under her regular clothes would not work well. She would be physically uncomfortable, plus I don’t care if she’s wearing sexy lingerie underneath her clothes.
When we were empty nesters, she would sometimes hang out in lingerie with me in themed boxers. But that was always when we are going to eventually have sex. The build-up is fun & makes the eventual sex more intense. That is not possible most of the time now since we now live with our daughter and her family. However, we do that sometimes when they go visit other family out of town.
When we were raising our children, that locked door on our bedroom was important. Sometimes my ex-wife or other relatives would take care of the kids at their house so Melody & I would have a loooong sex romp!
We believe every couple needs some alone time. Sometimes it takes making love late at night. Sometimes it’s getting away together- even for just one night.
3. We have had sex outside or half in/half out of our mini-SUV. We have done this a few times. It is very erotic probably BECAUSE it is risky. Once we almost got caught. The best way to answer this is my story from a few years ago: “A Christmas Wish Cum True.”
1. I do what I can. I try to surprise her with meaningful gifts for the right occasions.
2. We save the lingerie for certain play time, so it's not that often. I love the way she looks in it. I only buy her wide open crotch type outfits, so I can access (front or back) without her having to remove anything, which is a distraction we don't care for. I have no real urge for her to wear it outside of our intimate time with each other, as a warm-up or anything like that.
3. Not 100% sure what you mean, but I think we both kind of think it would be hot to go at it in close proximity to unknowing people nearby. The thought of actually getting caught is uncomfortable for me and mortifying to her.
bighead – Before retirement, we had a traditional marriage where the wife is a homemaker and husband brought home the bacon. In our youth, if I wanted to show her how much I loved her (and in the process turn her on to sex), I used things like taking her out to eat, special vacations and gifts. As we matured, I learned that I get far more mileage (for a lot less cost) by making the bed or doing the laundry. When she's spent an evening with her girlfriends and comes home to my having cleaned up the kitchen, I can't keep her hands off my pink body. You might want to try something similar.
To each there own but my wife and I have never had any interest in naturist resorts. Do not get me wrong, we have had sex outdoors and in the ocean and enjoyed the experience, we just have no desire to see others or be seen by them au naturel.
Q. How much do you want to surprise your wife, pampering her with gifts, surprise trips, etc.
A. It has been my experience that it is not necessarily the extravagant or expensive gifts that have the most meaning. Often the small surprises that are more meaningful, preparing a special meal, an impromptu picnic in a park or even bringing her a single rose for no particular reason.
Q. Do you want her to be in nice sexy lingerie most of the time? How is it possible with kids?
A. I love my wife in sexy lingerie. However, I want her to wear it because she enjoys it as much as she knows it turns me on. As for wearing sexy lingerie most of the time, I often see my wife in her bras and panties and while not as erotic as say crotch-less and thong panties or open nipple bras, it is still arousing. Sometimes she only wears a large t-shirt around the house with no underwear. This in itself can be arousing (and convenient).
Q. Lastly, have you ever thought of fucking your spouse in public?
A. By public, I an guessing you mean a place where we could possibly be seen. No, we have no such desire.