Poll: What role has MarriageHeat.com played in your sexual journey?
Loading ...Community Discussion Questions
- Share your experience with MarriageHeat.com. How has it impacted your marriage or relationship?
- What memorable stories or posts you’ve encountered on MarriageHeat.com that have influenced your views on intimacy?
- Have you found any specific tips or advice on MarriageHeat.com particularly helpful in improving your sexual relationship with your partner?
- How do you navigate differences in sexual preferences or desires with your partner, and has MarriageHeat.com provided any insights or strategies for addressing these differences?
- Share a Micro-Story inspired by a story on MarriageHeat.com.
For me, an additional way this has been useful is that it provides an outlet to share stories and information in a welcoming area, whereas sharing any of this would be unfortunately detrimental to me as a pastor. Even sharing the apologetics sexual ethic article i wrote could be damaging. This allows for a healthy and safe environment to speak thing that can't be said elsewhere.
1. I can’t say that MH has impacted my marriage, as there are many problems there. However, it has impacted my personal journey, and I am grateful for this community.
2. It’s helped me to see that I’m not alone in my desires. I don’t have friends or family that I can discuss sexual things with, and prior to MarriageHeat, I struggled to believe that my views were normal.
3. There are issues there that MH cannot resolve, but there are many things I have found helpful. (Advice on good communication, use of toys as being normal, the positive impact of sharing fantasies, to name a few)
4. N/A
5. It hasn’t happened yet, but I’d love to have outdoor sex, or sex in a risky place.
One of the greatest things we learned from MH has been role-play. Some of the most amazing sex we’ve had came from doing elaborate role-plays. This includes Elven Enchanted Forest, Doctor/sexilogist & patient, etc. I wrote up those experiences and other sex role-plays for MH. Our latest was photographer and his nude model. I haven’t written that one up for MH. But it’s recorded in my sex journal. Maybe I’ll submit it after I make it MH ready.
For me being able to share our sex stories and read on MH other especially married couples’ sex stories really celebrates marriage sex! I feel the same way about most of the excellent fictional stories on MH.
In my opinion many Christians would benefit from reading MH and learning how good married sex CAN be.
The first few stories I’ve posted to MH were written before I knew about MH. I wrote them while on overseas business trips without my wife. These trips could be as long as four weeks. I started writing them as an outlet for my horniness, missing my wife, and to pass the time in the evenings. After reading several of them, my wife said I should have them published somewhere. I started looking for sites that hosted Christian erotica. At first, the thought of “Christian erotica” seemed a bit of an oxymoron.
I eventually found MH.
Prior to that, I thought I had weird tastes, even inappropriate ones, and certainly selfish ones – ones that a loving Christian husband would never expect his wife satisfying.
Boy, what a surprise, second only to the surprise I had when my wife of 10 years told me she would have let me fuck her on our first date had I brought it up. (I proposed and she accepted on our first date.) It wasn’t that I didn’t want to, I certainly did want it, and even felt guilty for imagining it while masturbating when I went to bed later that evening.
I grew up thinking women allowed sex in return for having a man to care for them. I had so much to learn. On the other hand, had I suspected that my dates in college might have wanted to suck dick (good girls have no desire in giving hand jobs or blow jobs), or for me to go down on them, my life likely would have gone down a very different path, not in a good direction.
My wife would never come here. I read the stories and feel like I am part of a community. Yes 99% of the discussions are sexual. However I feel like I am getting to know people here and learn about them. I grew up very repressed sexually. Masturbation was a sin, etc. Then I went full on porn and masturbation. My wife found out and was very upset. I worked on that and am no longer a slave to it. I am part of a group and I am learning myself. This group here has helped me find a middle ground so to speak.
I am mostly interested in the female point of view here and what they are thinking. Of course, women are different when it comes to what they want, but it's at least good to know that women want and enjoy monogamous sex.
Other than that, it is an outlet for me to anonymously talk about the naughty stuff we do together.
So I can't really click on any of those choices.
When I first came on here, I wanted to share my sexual experience with my then-current wife, and (maybe) rekindle the flame and gain some perspective on how to do that. It was toward the latter half of our 26 year marriage, which ended leaving me widowed – briefly, as it turned out. You always think you'll have more time together than you do.
The thing is, she had largely fallen out of love with me, with the exception of a few sexual 'drought-breakers' and a second honeymoon in Jamaica – four years before she died.
That's too long a story to get into, but one thing has remained constant, in addition to an unwavering faith in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. That 'thing' is, what turns me on in bed. I've written of it three times here, and there is another one en route.
I have often, well, most of my life wondered Why it turns me on so. My first wife said in the beginning she'd find out why. She never did, and I couldn't understand it either.
My current wife doesn't need an explanation. She's been turned on to a whole new world, and we LOVE getting quiet and maintaining that silence, prior to going head over heels in our playtime. If I, or she, were any younger, she'd play with me every night, at least once.
I answered the survey that the site provides insights, and has helped me to know that others do share some of my same likes with their spouse, or dream of it if they're still single – and I was almost 36 before I married the first time. I remember what it was like.
Marriage Heat was put in my path by God! I am sure of that. It's probably the most major resource I've found that has helped me break from the stifled, embarrassed views I had on sex and masturbation. And it's given me so many ideas on preparing for future marriage. I thank the Lord and everyone at MH for the blessing they have been. As to the other questions, I can't fully answer them while I'm single. But I can say that each author on here has offered so many great stories, and as a result, my understanding of male and female sexuality and Christian marriage is so much more healthy and broadened. Thank you all!
MH has helped confirm my thoughts on marriage sex. It is good to have a community where I'm free to discuss & open up about thoughts & practices. God is not shy about sex, we shouldn't be, either. Glad to have found a place that understands that.
1: I've come across many good Christian resources that have influenced my sexual journey for the better, but MH has been the single most important one. It has shown me in explicit and unreserved detail how stunningly beautiful God made sexuality to be. That has made me appreciate sexuality so much more highly. In a world full of non-Christians who abuse sex, and Christians who hide it away in misplaced shame, MH has helped me avoid both of those destructive extremes, and instead embrace sexuality to the fullest, while keeping it in its proper boundaries. This elevated view of sex, significantly influenced by MH, was what finally enabled me to break away from porn use that started in my early teens. Because of all this sexual growth, I hope my future wife and I will be able to experience this gift of intimacy and ecstasy to the fullest. Most importantly, this journey has made me love God more and put me in greater awe of him for giving his children the amazing gift of sex to give us just a tiny taste of his love for us, and the intimacy, unity and joy we'll have with him in heaven.
2: I have quite a few amazing stories on my favorites list! They tend to be stories that are both erotic and meaningful: stories where husband and wife experience not only great pleasure, but also deep unity, intimacy and connectedness, sharing their sexual gifts generously, freely, and with shameless joy. Here are a few that I really loved:
"The Bottle – A Shy Wife Blossoms" by HappyHubby (Jun. 07, 2019) (https://marriageheat.com/2019/06/07/ignite-story-the-bottle-a-shy-wife-blossoms/)
"A Shy Wife Blooms" by HappyHubby (Jun. 21, 2019) (https://marriageheat.com/2019/06/21/a-shy-wife-blossoms/)
These two are pretty long, but that helps convey the author's buildup of anticipation! I think it's beautiful to see a wife grow into a mindset that embraces God-given sexuality to the fullest!
"'Our' First Orgasm" by Honeymooners (Sept. 16, 2021) (https://marriageheat.com/2021/09/16/our-first-orgasm/)
This one was wonderfully beautiful to me. I love this couple's mutual joy and pleasure as the wife finds a breakthrough and is able to orgasm for the first (and second, and third) time in their marriage!
3: From MarriageHeat and other resources, probably the most valuable piece of advice I've found is to have intentional conversations about things. Spouses can guess all they want at how to make sex (and their relationship as a whole) better, but it will improve the most when spouses talk openly, listen graciously, seek to truly understand each other, and use that mutual understanding to serve each other in love. Since I'm single, I'm not currently exercising this in a romantic context, but I'm committed to pursuing this pattern in my future marriage (and pre-marriage relationship), in talking about sexual and non-sexual things. I've also made it one of my dealbreaker requirements for any future relationship that she and I both must be able and willing to engage in difficult conversations with each other.
4: As a single man, I haven't had to navigate sexual differences with a partner yet, but in the future, I am committed to navigating any differences with grace and love. I also plan to minimize those differences preemptively as much as possible by discussing our views on sexuality in some depth before marriage, to make sure we're on the same page, and avoid running into unexpected, major differences once we're already committed.
5: Rather than just share a micro-story, I'll say that after a long drought of writing, I have a full-length story in the works that I'm hoping to submit soon! It will be about some risky wedding day escapades that occur when the couple literally cannot wait for the wedding night!
Wow some great thoughts here already, I especially appreciate PP's response! When I think of this site the term that comes to mind is "Without Shame," and it's incredible to me just how freeing it can be to walk God's path. I thought I was alone in my sexual journey and am so happy to find out I was wrong! I really enjoy bantering and arguing with you all, being exposed to new points of view, and being able to discuss things on a level that is simultaneously spiritual and sexual, just finding a place where the two meet.
I also really appreciate the resources they link to, like their recommended reading list! I've been steadily getting them all and I think they all bring a unique perspective that is useful. I think especially with the Penners' books: I find a lot of the concepts they lay out there to be extremely useful, and appreciate their balanced perspective of faith & reason walking hand-in-hand. God has used them to meet me in a way that I never would have imagined and draw me closer to Him. I feel like I'm just beginning to discover what an intensely personal experience our individual Walks with God are, and this site has played a big part in that!
MH has offered a way for me to share my own story as a wife, and our story as a married couple, when the world is otherwise against both marriage as a holy institution, and a world which uses sexuality merely for objectification and negative lust, rather than within the beauty of safety of a marriage bed.
The world is there to tempt us. Marriage is there for us to express sensuality and eroticism within a loving and divine relationship, held together by the All-Mighty. There is honour, class, beauty and love in the sexuality of marriage and MH allows people to celebrate it – it allows me to celebrate it.
I am extremely blessed to be here, and my more "unconventional" tendencies (alongside those of my husband) were accepted and always seen with positive eyes, which I am thankful for!
Prayers and hugs to each and every one of you, we humbly wish you all long and loving marriages!
Soph Tea I loved your comment.