This post contains strong language (L).
I posted about this here before: As a Christian couple, my husband and I know that God created sex for both people in a marriage to enjoy. But I struggled to have an orgasm. I never even knew what they were until some time after I got married. My husband and I tried for years for me to have one. Just one. I read about it. I prayed about it. Nothing worked at all. I thought maybe I wasn’t meant for one. Maybe God doesn’t want me to have one, I thought. Maybe it’s overrated or fake.
The issue started to cause strain in our relationship. I felt like a failure, and so did my husband. I cried, thinking that I might be broken. Sex became a race, not about love or connection. It wasn’t about us anymore; it was about an orgasm. I started resenting sex. I knew my husband wanted me to have an orgasm, and I wanted to, too. I can honestly say this was a hardship in our marriage. It caused so much pressure and pain. The one thing I wanted to have wasn’t happening.
Sex became a chore. It felt like I was competing in an Olympic race. I read everything about Christian wives having an orgasm, but I couldn’t do it no matter how hard I tried. I would read stories from these amazing Christian wives having an orgasm, which left me feeling defeated. Watching my poor husband try over and over again to get me to orgasm, I felt guilty. I was so miserable that I would cry.
I wanted to accept sex without orgasm. Sex was already beautiful and brought pleasure—a gift! I’m blessed to have an amazing Christian husband and support system. We’re blessed to have found MarriageHeat. We’re blessed to have a wonderful church. With the power and guidance of God and all of you on MarriageHeat, we got through this difficult process. It’s hard to admit you’re struggling as a Christian couple. My husband and I would read the Bible, pray, search out books and blogs to read… It was difficult.
One of the sources we found mentioned the importance of learning about your body, my body. I never touched myself before. The very first time I did it, it was uncomfortable. The second time was better. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I was exploring my own body for the first time! My husband joined me. He would touch me, and I would put my hand over his on my clit. It felt really good. The hardest thing was figuring out the speed, but we’re learning.
As I started to get more comfortable, I started to open up more. I would spread my legs, get a mirror, and rub my vagina. This way, I controlled the speed. I even put my own fingers inside my vagina for the first time, just to explore. My husband would join too. The first thing my husband did was rub me, and I would put my hand over his, guiding him. Then, when he would go down on me, I guided him.
I even got the courage to try the shower head on my clit. It felt amazing. Things were getting better, and I felt more comfortable and confident with myself. I thought that was as far as I could go. Sex feels amazing already, and with my added sense of self-awareness, it felt even more amazing. But I didn’t know how even more amazing it could be pushing past your limits and “over the edge.”
It happened so recently that I’m still in awe. I can’t explain it. I really can’t. My husband and I didn’t plan on anything that night. It was raining. I came home, put the groceries away, and sat on the couch to watch Lifetime movies. My husband came downstairs half awake. He made himself something to eat and asked if I wanted anything.
I joked, “Some popcorn and wine,” but he took me seriously. A few minutes later, I had my popcorn and wine. He sat down beside me, and I enjoyed my movie while we shared the snack. At some point, I laid my head on his chest. I really don’t know how we started, but we did. The wine relaxed me, but I felt hypersensitive.
The next thing I knew, I was sucking my husband’s cock, and he was sucking my nipples. I was wet and feeling a strong desire for him. The movie played on in the background, but I didn’t care about it anymore. Soon we were both naked, my husband sitting on the couch and me riding him. My fluids mixed in with his, and he started pounding me so hard that I moaned very loudly.
He turned the TV up, and I’m glad he did. I let loose and moaned, and the TV helped muffle them. I wanted my husband to cum inside me, not even caring if we made a mess on the couch, lol. I knew it would only take a few more strokes to get him there, but he stopped me. He got me off of him and laid me back on the couch. When he started rubbing my clit, I couldn’t hold back the moans.
“That feel good?” My husband asked.
I nodded yes, then put my hand over his to guide him to my sweet spots on my clit. I closed my eyes, enjoying this feeling. I felt my husband’s hand close over my breast, then his mouth on my nipple.
“Right there,” I moaned. His mouth on my breasts and hand on my clit only made my pleasure more intense. “Go harder. Rub harder. Yes, lick my tits,” I groaned.
My husband rubbed harder, and it felt so good. My nipples grew stiffer as he licked them while my hand continued guiding his on my clit. I felt something inside me, something I never felt before, and it was building. It kept growing as my husband, and I rubbed my clit. The more we did it, the better it felt. I didn’t want it to stop. We rubbed my clit harder and harder.
“Oh, yes,” I moaned.
My husband’s lips and hands were hard at work on me. He kept going until…
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!” I screamed with my eyes closed. The TV hopefully covered my voice. Out of nowhere, I felt my body pulsing, my vagina squeezing, my body shaking; I had no control at all. A wave of heat crashed over me. I experienced so much pleasure that I couldn’t help but scream. My heart raced. It was so intense, I cried and moved away from my husband. It wasn’t on purpose, lol. I didn’t know wtf just happened. My head started to hurt a little. Then, the feeling started to ebb, and my body relaxed again. I wiped the tears away from my eyes.
“You okay?” my poor husband asked, worried.
I couldn’t respond. I was still in shock at what had just happened.
“Babe,” my husband asked again, “you alright?”
I nodded. “I don’t know. I felt something like… I can’t explain it,” I said, moving back towards him.
My husband looked at me.
“What?” I asked.
“What did you feel?”
“I mean, it felt good. My heart was racing, and my vagina was squeezing. It felt like my body was just shaking.”
My husband smiled. “We read about this. I think you just came,” he said. He kissed me.
I started to cry again. I couldn’t believe what just happened, what I felt. What my body just did—that was an orgasm? I couldn’t believe it. I just experienced my very first one with my husband. It felt so unbelievably good!
“Honey, are you okay?” my husband asked again.
“Yes.” I grinned through my tears. “Like, I just had my first orgasm. That was an orgasm? Wow.”
My husband nodded and kissed me again. “I like seeing you cum,” he said.
“Can we try again?” I asked, kissing him and pulling him on top of me. I rubbed my clit again, but it was sensitive. I tried to get that special feeling again but couldn’t. So instead of focusing on another orgasm, I focused on making love to my husband. He pounded away at me on the couch with my legs on his shoulders. I let loose and moaned loudly, and my wetness again mixed with his.
“Harder,” I moaned through breaths.
My husband thrust harder in me.
“Oh, goodness,” I gasped. “Yes, baby. Yes.” I saw his sweat roll down his face. He leaned over to kiss me, and I moaned into his mouth.
“You feel so good,” my husband groaned against my lips.
I touched my clit again, surprised to find it less sensitive now. As my husband thrust, I started rubbing, first slow, then fast. It felt even more amazing with my husband moving inside me. We locked eyes and kissed.
My husband stopped thrusting and just watched me rub my clit. “I want you to cum on my dick,” he said, looking me over. “You’re so beautiful,” he said as he licked my nipples.
As my husband started to thrust again, slowly, I kept rubbing my clit. When I changed the pace again, I felt that same amazing feeling building up inside me.
“Go harder,” I moaned.
My husband thrust harder and watched me rub. Sweat drenched our bodies. I felt another sweet orgasm come near and couldn’t help myself. I let go of all control and started moaning loudly. I was near the edge before I felt my body release itself. I shook, my breath quickened, my toes curled, and I groaned so loudly that the neighbors could probably hear. I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I had to give in and enjoy it.
Once I did give in, it was only more pleasure. Orgasming around my husband’s cock made it better. Again, tears of pleasure streamed from my eyes; it felt so good that I couldn’t help it. My husband kissed me as he wiped away the tears from my face, but I was in another world. My heart beat faster, and hot flashes washed over me. I craved my husband even more.
“Fuck me,” I whimpered. “Just fuck me. I just came on you.”
My husband smiled, then kissed me again. He licked my lips. “I know,” he said. “I loved it. I feel so happy that you came on my dick.”
“Just fuck me,” I moaned. “I need you to cum inside me.”
My husband started thrusting inside me again.
“Harder,” I moaned, “go harder.” I felt his hard dick pounding in and out of me. I tried to rub my clit, but it was too sensitive still. I was covered in sweat and moaning—we both were. My husband fucked my sweet pussy, and it felt so good. I could barely speak. “Yes,” I managed. “Yes. Oh, my God.”
My husband continued to pound me and started grunting.
“Yes, baby,” I moaned. “Cum in me. Please cum in me.” My husband hammered me even harder and thrust deeply into me, and I moaned loudly. I held him tight, knowing what was about to happen. “Look at me when you cum,” I told him.
Sweat poured down my husband’s forehead. He looked into my eyes as he continued to fuck me hard. He grunted and…
“Ahhhhhhhh! Oh, shit,” my husband cried out. “Baby, I’m cumming!” My husband’s penis pulsed inside me, releasing his sweet cum into me. I held him tight as our eyes locked, and he filled me up.
He stayed in me and kissed my neck. “You like that?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said, “very much.”
“I like seeing you cum,” my husband said. Then he pulled out of me and sat up on the couch. He smiled.
I felt his cum leak down out of me, but I didn’t care if it messed up our couch. I sat up and put my head on my husband’s chest again, and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, stroking my upper arm.
“That was so good,” I said. “I can’t believe that happened today. It was special.”
My husband grinned. “I loved seeing you so happy,” he said.
We continued to sit on the couch. My husband’s dick went soft after a few minutes. His cum kept leaking out of me, so he got some tissue and helped me clean up, but I still felt it dripping out of me as I tried to make my way to the bathroom. Once I went potty, we both sat on the couch naked, my head on his chest. I still felt hot.
We began watching another movie, but I started reliving what just happened, the way my body let go. The sensations, the closeness: I wanted more of that and wasn’t done yet. Maybe a bit selfish of me, lol. I wanted to give myself another orgasm, so I started rubbing my clit some more.
My husband glanced at me. “Cum again,” he said. “I want to see you cum.”
I rubbed my clit slowly, spread eagle on our couch. I don’t know why, but my husband watching me rub my clit gave me pleasure. I was putting on a show for him. After a while, I started picking up the pace, little by little.
My husband groaned and told me he couldn’t wait for me to cum. “That’s right, baby,” he encouraged. “I want to see you cum, so keep rubbing your clit.”
This got me more excited, and I rubbed faster, that same pleasure and pressure building inside me. I threw my head back and closed my eyes.
“Yes, baby, cum,” my husband said. “Enjoy yourself.”
The pressure and pleasure kept growing as I rubbed faster and harder.
“Yes,” he said. “That feels good, right?”
“Yes,” I moaned.
“You about to cum? Let me see you cum in front of me,” my husband said.
“Mmmm,” I moaned. My orgasm was coming; I could feel it. I didn’t stop rubbing myself.
“Cum, baby. Cum. Cum for me,” my husband said. “You like that, huh?”
“Oh! Oh. My. God!” I cried loudly as my body shook. My eyes closed; my breath quickened; my vagina squeezed; my toes curled. I felt a wave of deep pleasure inside me, and again, tears rolled down my face. I gave into all of it, which made it even better.
“Yes, baby,” my husband said as he reached over to kiss me.
“I just like had another one,” I said.
My husband smiled. “I love seeing you rub yourself and cum,” my husband said. We sat on the couch again, both naked, and watched whatever movie was on TV that night.
I’m happy that this gift finally happened. It came without warning; we weren’t even trying. It happened because of two people and God. It happened because of MarriageHeat, all without pressure and unexpectedly. I’m still shocked this happened to me, especially more than one time in a span of one hot sex session and after years of marriage.
I learned about my body. I learned that not having an orgasm doesn’t make me less of a wife. No, I don’t have an orgasm every time my husband and I have sex. However, it’s the process and the togetherness that matters. It’s the coming together as one that is important and the pleasure. It’s husband and wife that matters. I hope I can share my story and experience to help others. Christian sex is something truly special. I said it’s our first orgasm because it’s shared between two people. My husband’s orgasm is shared with me and mine with him. Our marriage is a partnership, and so is sex.
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