Introducing TurnedOn47’s Story – With a Poll question about Pornography
Loading ...Hello! I just joined MH. I’m 66 years old, sincere Christian, educated, white, male with a strong sex drive. I have been divorced twice. I was stunned to read that this site has been around since 2006, because this is exactly the type of site that I have been longing for.
I feel that sex is, among other things, “a form of communication”. And, of course, the sex is better when good communication exists between spouses. (Conversely, when spouses don’t communicate their needs [sexual, or otherwise], then frustration and anger are not far away.) Further, when pastors and churches fail to discuss sex, then “the world” will provide information that leads away from God. I have even written a bit online about this topic.
Having browsed a few pages of the Discussion area, I’m pleasantly surprised to already feel a sense of “community” here. By nature, I’m very analytical. As a result, I tend to “see things that others don’t see”. That trait served me well during my military career, but it does not always translate into “plays well with others” in a group setting. On the plus side, it is part of the gifts of prophecy and discernment.
The most amazing thing about the people on this site, so far, is the open and honest communications by women. By the grace of God, you ladies have gotten past that societal false teaching of the “feminine mystique”. We men do not find “guessing games” attractive at all. So, I value the opinions of the women here, along with the willingness of some of the more mature ladies to help the younger women find their way.
OK, so, about sex….
Although I’m fairly educated, I do not use “medical” words when discussing sex. I feel that it takes some of the fun out of the discussion. I might have a “penis” when I go see the doctor, but I have a “dick” the rest of the time. And, it is slightly above average in size, and I have no difficulty in getting hard. As I’ve gotten older, I have noticed even more how much I enjoy the feeling of a hard-on, and its “heft” and warmth, and even its feeling in my hand. (For example, when I jack off, my hand feels almost as good as my dick.) I just would like someone to share it with. And, the rest of life.
Like most of you, I feel that the church needs to be more open about discussing sexual topics. My first marriage (16 years) was ruined by the concept that “sex is bad” — something from her toxic parents that my first wife never could fully get past. (The idea was so pervasive that she could not fully “let go” and enjoy sex with me, because it was in the “good” setting of marriage. So, in order to feel satisfied, sex had to be “bad” — i.e.: with other men, etc.) I don’t want to dwell on that, but I put it out there because it is a big problem within the church, and because it is a “conversation starter” of sorts. I need a wife that fully believes that God created sex and that He made it “very good” — for both spouses.
My second marriage (18 years) was ruined by my wife’s health problems (high blood pressure, diabetes, endometriosis, etc.), which robbed her of sexual desire. The problem is that, when she lost her sex drive, she also lost compassion for my sex drive. For example, if I was walking through the house in my pajamas, and she saw that I had a hard-on, then she would say things such as, “Put that thing away,” or, “Just get in the shower and take care of that,” or even just laughing at it derisively. I had long looked at porn for relief, but she never knew it. Then, one night, I fell asleep in my recliner after masturbating. She woke up after a couple of hours (something that she almost never did, which is why I felt “safe” to look at porn while she was asleep), walked into the living room, saw my computer, blew a gasket, and said that she wanted a divorce.
I’ve been divorced for more than four years now. I have not had “real” sex in more than 14 years. The lack of sex is beginning to cause its own set of health problems. And, it’s just plain frustrating — and sometimes infuriating. I’m not a bad-looking man, although I’m now overweight (largely a result of “mood food” to ease sexual frustration). I have most of my own hair and all of my own teeth. I keep clean, both of my wives said that I was a “good listener”, and giving orgasms is often just as much fun as getting them. So, I’d like to consider myself a “good catch”.
The next time around, I want to know in advance that my wife is on the same page with me regarding sex. That’s why this discussion forum is so fascinating for me. You guys are open, honest, direct, and pull no punches — and yet, all* within Scriptural boundaries. (*There are a small number of disagreements that I have seen. But, I don’t doubt the sincerity of even those with whom I disagree. For example, I think that anal sex is totally off-limits.)
OK, this time, it’s really about sex….
I think about sex a lot, and I think about a lot of sex.
It’s OK for the woman to be the “aggressor” sometimes. That way, I know that she really wants it — versus just going along with it. Even at age 66, the only foreplay that I need is two words: “Let’s fuck.” (And, I still get really hard — although, not quite as hard as when I was young and could hang a wet beach towel from my dick for an hour while walking around the house. Really….)
I like a “curvy” woman. (As a boy, most of the Mean Girls at school were thin. As a result, I grew attracted to plump girls — not necessarily because they were plump, but because I perceived them as being nicer.) Over time, that attraction grew to a real appreciation of womanly curves. And that, in turn, grew when I discovered the joys of tit-fucking and giving facials. Fucking small tits is not as much fun as fucking big tits.
(Pardon me. Just typing that made my dick hard. So, I had to stop typing and “adjust”, because my dick is big enough that a hard-on pointed the wrong way inside my pajama pants is painful.)
I believe strongly in what Christian sex blogger Sheila Wray Gregoire calls “mutuality”. Sadly, a lot of pastors (if they mention sex at all) teach from the perspective that men “get” sex from wives that “give” it to them (albeit, reluctantly). Worse yet is the teaching that wives must “get” something (in addition to sex!) from their husbands before she will “put out”. (e.g.: “take the trash out”, a new dress, promise of an expensive vacation, etc.) That mindset is the opposite of mutuality, and it is akin to prostitution. I want a wife that sees sex as her goal/reward, just as much as it is mine.
I have masturbated since about age 8, although I did not have an orgasm until age 12 or so. Although I have always enjoyed it, I did it mostly for “relief”. Now, partly because of age, and partly because of my single status, masturbation is more. It is fun in itself. I would like to share that fun with a wife, although she must know that I have a lot of years of fucking to catch up on…! 😉
And, yes, I like oral — both giving and receiving. I usually think of it in terms of “taking turns”, but I also love a 69. In fact, I really like doing 69 while lying on our sides. It is more “relaxed” and comfortable that way. (Besides, both of my wives said that my dick was quite big in their mouths. So, if we were doing a 69 and I was on top, and started mouth-fucking her, then it got uncomfortable and we had to stop. Alas, nothing ruins the moment more than having to stop because it is “too good”.)
Squirting…?? I would enjoy a wife with a pussy that squirts when she cums. Oh, fuck, what a turn-on!! That is a pleasure that I have not experienced — although I did have a girlfriend in-between marriages that would sometimes “gush” a bit. An ideal situation for me in that regard would be if she would put on a masturbation show for me, and then squirt her pussy juice all over my dick. Then, with all that lube and readiness, I could just shove my hot hard dick into her hot juicy pussy and we would fuck each other like wild.
OK, this has gone on long enough. (And, besides, now I need to jack off just from thinking about the fact that “somewhere out there” is a Christian woman that is getting just as turned on from reading this as I did from writing it.) Thank you for your attention. Comments??
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Welcome! One great blessing that MH offers is that it helps Christians with high sex drives to feel ‘normal’ and seen. I hope you enjoy this community.
Thanks! After only two days on this site (one of which was spent mostly in "tech limbo"), I already feel welcome, normal, and "seen".
For many years, I felt kinda rejected by "both worlds". My sex drive was too high for "church world", but my standards were too high for "porn world". Here, I find a group of people that are thoughtful and intentional about their Christian faith, and just as thoughtful and intentional about enjoying Naked Fun Playtime with their spouse — just the way that God designed us.
Although I realize that this is not primarily a dating site, I still hope to be "seen" by the next wife that God has in store for me. In the meantime, the discussions here give me a sense of emotional relief that I have not found elsewhere. God bless the people that built this site and the new friends that I'm meeting here.
Thanks for pointing out the joys of a curvier woman. I was usually attracted to athletic girls growing up, because I was an athlete myself. They weren’t interested in me, and I eventually ended up marrying a curvier, plumper woman.
Regarding the other things you said. I did briefly use soft porn as a stress relief during a difficult time of life when I was single. As for explicit art that I believe is okay, my wife Vanessa and I have sometimes viewed paintings and drawings of sex positions to try. I feel it’s different than actual videos or photos.
She likes to watch movie bedroom scenes and gets aroused for sex. She occasionally masturbated while watching such bedroom scenes. At first I was upset about this, but my wife has had a difficult life sometimes before we met and so I tried to show her grace. While I wouldn’t watch those scenes myself, her watching them on her iPad, breathing heavily, pulling off her clothes and masturbating is I admit very exciting for me.
I see that this ended up in the Stories section. I would have preferred that it was in the Discussion section, because I wanted to spark some discussion. A little bit has already started. Let's see where it goes.
Welcome and thanks for contributing.
While my marriage has worked out better, I can relate to both of yours.
In retrospect my wife also came in with a good/bad framing of sex that she couldn’t shake off. In her case it didn’t lead to wild behavior, more a shut off valve, because it was the only way she knew how to control her sexual thoughts and thinking.
We were still working through that as she also developed a lot of chronic health problems. They didn’t shut down sex completely but her drive and interest sure plummeted. And like your experience, she “lost compassion for my sex drive.” Even before that, with her shut off valve, she always insisted that her level of sex drive was “normal” and mine excessive, or at least not a priority.
We are still together after decades and much is good, but I sure understand the pain and loneliness of not having a spouse who you feel you can talk to about sex with affirmation and support rather than drama or worse.
Atlantic Man,
I will pray for you.
And, that is one of the things that I simply LOVE about this site is the ability to offer Christian encouragement while discussing sexual situations. Both faith and sex are a part of life. Jesus came that we would be "made whole", while the world tries to separate sex from other parts of life.
If my wife was watching something like that, I don't think I would react strongly one way or another. I don't really want to watch it with her. I don't really think omit always has to be cheating. Sometimes looking and hearing that kind of stuff just reminds someone of their spouse and past romps that are a turn on. Women seem more into books, stories, and 50 Shades of Grey kind of softcore porn.
My greatest issue with pornography is that it is encouraging unmarried people to have intercourse and many of those people aren't treated very well. It's a sick industry and the guilt would be more so over supporting it than dangers of succumbing to adultery.
Like any form of entertainment, porn has good and bad. The quality from what I have seen is fairly poor. It can be distracting from other things. But used responsibly it can enhance a marriage. He watches more than I do. I mainly see something he read or saw that he knows will turn me on. MH is my main alone erotica. Some might call some of it soft core porn. But the definition of “porn”varies greatly. I think the overreaction against porn is far more dangerous than porn itself. I think often it helps when the sex drive between partners is unequal. And can be helpful and certainly better than going alone to a strip joint or cheating.
Welcome TurnedOn47. This is a great place for encouragement in being a Christian who can embrace our sexuality positively.
Thanks for this open and honest poll on our response to pornography use as Christians. A couple of observations and thoughts.
Most interesting is the immediate trend of the top 4 response choices – nearly 20% each – and then a significant drop-off. As more responses are recorded, if these top four remain separated from the rest of the responses, it indicates ‘common ground’ thinking of the MH community. (I mistakenly checked the box for the 5th response, though my top 4 responses are the current 4 responses.) These top 4 responses demonstrate a healthy view and a gracious response, in my opinion, for Christ-centered marriages.
The poll pertains to ‘our discovery response to porn use by our spouse.’ A parallel poll that would be useful is ‘our perceived spouse’s response to the discovery of porn use by us’.
That brings me to defining porn. The definition of porn is debatable within the Christian community and within the chambers of the Supreme Court. I do not consider real sex between married heterosexuals or by a single person depicted in word (as we do so on MH), photos (as we do so on MH), audio, or video to be porn. Depicted sexual acts (real of fake) between actors is my definition of porn. I do not consider MH’s stories or photos to be porn. Many of us are inspired by MH to engage in sexual pleasure with our spouse or for self satisfaction; that is not porn-use in my opinion. Could a spouse with a different, stilted view of sexual acts and erotic stories, as TurnedOn47 has experienced, consider MH as porn? If so, what would their reaction be to learn that their spouse reads and actively participates on MH? That might be another poll to consider.
Since Jim and I have been married (20+years now) we have had a very good "motivating" relationship with porn videos. Now we are VERY selective with our choices in that we purchase four videos that are very high quality with very "realistic" actors. It took awhile to find vids that accurately depict a close depiction of our own bodies in order to keep it more real. Of course our "cast" included a very hung guy and a woman with a rack she is very proud of and really knows how to work for maximum attention.
We ALLWAYS use these videos to pleasure ourselves, as opposed to actors we wish to fuck.
I watched porn for a long time (50+ years, starting when I was 10 years old — even before videos existed). In recent years, God has given me the ability to resist that temptation. But, I still have a sex drive. What's a man to do…?? That's part of why I'm on this site.
That said, after I learned about "homegrown" porn (also called "amateur"), then I didn't watch anything else. Just one married couple that loves to fuck and enjoys being watched. One in particular was a wife that enjoyed it when her husband called her a "porn star" and reminded her that guys would be jacking off while watching her online. That would usually make her cum instantly.
She became my "go-to gal", and I eventually quit watching anyone else. She's not super-attractive, but she is "woman next door" pretty. She loves sex, and she loves to TALK about sex. That really turns me on.
One video starts with her sitting on the couch, fully clothed. (By her dress, I'm guessing that she might be a bank teller or something.) Her husband asks if she had a tough day at work. After a sip of wine, She replies, "Yeah…. It's been that kind of day. I NEED a cock in my mouth!" That statement alone can almost make me cum!
Part of me can justify that, in a Christian mindset, by saying that it's not different than the Israelites living in tents near each other in the wilderness. If the wife got loud during sex, then the neighbors would hear every detail. And, if the wind blew the tent flap open, then the neighbors would get a good view.
The key, as a Christian, is to try to stay within the boundary of hoping that my next wife will have that high of a sex drive and that playful of an attitude. That's not easy, though. I found that couple on a site about 12 years ago. At that time, the site enabled private messaging. (I'm sure that it still does. I'm just not on that site anymore.) We had an ongoing PM dialogue that lasted maybe a year or more. The husband actually passed along some of my requests, which she then did on camera.
But, those messages opened the door to the temptation of me wanting to meet her and get some "sympathy sex" from her — only if her husband approved. I knew that it was wrong — no matter how "liberally" one might try to interpret Scripture — but the temptation grew so strong. God intervened, though, and that couple disappeared from the site. (Some of her videos are still online, but that is because they were "pirated" by other people.)
For me, I think that it might be OK to watch porn with my next wife — as a springboard for discussions. Either of us could point to the screen and say, "I want to try that sometime." But, the same result could be accomplished with open and honest discussion. So, is porn really necessary?
If any of you hot wives out there have a hot friend that's looking for a Christian husband…. 😉
I don’t think all AVE is bad, but we should definitely be choosy. Verifiable husband/wife is always best. Or solo male (if you’re a woman), and solo female, (if you’re a man).
I watch very little these days. Like SecondMarge, MH is my main source of erotica.
Well said.
So glad you found this site, TurnedOn47! Welcome! It has literally been the greatest resource in helping me reshape my views of sex and marriage. You can read my personal experiences and my fictional erotica on here to see what God did in my thinking and practices. Everyone on MH is in my prayers, the singles, couples, divorcees, widows, widowers, and any other category I may be forgetting. You will be added to that list. Thank you for sparking such great conversation! My thoughts on porn would most likely be found in my post "A Bit More Realistic". Through prayer, research, and studying God's Word, I've come to believe that there isn't any sin in viewing sexual acts, especially if it's between a married couple. Watching real couples make love has HUGELY played a role in transforming my fear and disgust about sex into excitement, joy, and appreciation. I do not like the fakeness of the mainstream porn industry; the Botox, spray tans, perfect bodies, and unrealistic positions and orgasms are a big turn-off. But actual amateur couples? That is real life and it helps me learn what to expect in my own future marriage. I also enjoy erotic novels, movies, and audio, which I've also talked about on here. I haven't been super active on here lately because of health problems, but I keep checking in to see what I miss! Anyhow, welcome to MH!
Thank you, LLL. Your posts are among my favorites. I like your deep-thinking approach.
But, that said, I also like hornyGG's straight-to-the-point approach.
I like a deep brain AND a deep pussy! 😉
Welcome!
We have been married 32 years and it has been a rollercoaster for us in the areas of sex, drive, connection, etc. I have seen porn since my dads first Playboy on the basket next to the toilet when I was 8 years old. From there it became an addiction through my twenties and into my early marriage years. God did break me from the ugly part of porn, more importantly healing me of my attachment needs and using porn and masturbation as an escape to meet those needs.
However, I am still a male and am attracted to the female form, so it has been a challenge to stay away from porn and not successfully. But to changed from addiction to appreciation. My wife viewed it for years as nothing but evil and sin. Then we have discovered that all porn is not 70s porn or pornhub. Now we view AVE, specifically video categories of couples, preferred married, that is sensual, loving, arousing, and enjoyable together at times. She has engaged her body more and allowed to be aroused, for example she watched some shows on Netflix with arousing, limited nudity scenes and became very aroused with the story and sensuality, leading to her wetness and self pleasure. She know understand that my arousal is more visual with nudity, less story line, but within healthy boundaries. The "hardcore" is very raw and objectifying of women. While "soft" erotic that is engaging two lovers are more realistic and provides connection for the two of us. We enjoy these now, but its been a long journey.
Playboy was never porn in any imagination neither is there such a thing as porn addiction. There is gross porn and very poorly done porn. Fortunately he only recommends the well written/done porn to me. Nudity is natural and not porn. Erotic material can be very good and beneficial yet some call anything with sexual content as porn. That is more harmful than beneficial. Like beauty being in the mind of the beholder so porn varies greatly by those watching/reading it. There is the problem of raising expectations whether it’s cock size or the positions we are expected to try.lol
I look forward to the day when I can lay on my back, spread my legs letting my knees fall to each side, and be a good girl when my husband comes home. I would let him sink his cock as deep into my tight pussy as he needs to. Men need physical sexual comfort. We girls need to give our bodies openly. Let him play with your nipples, let him tickle your asshole, let him push his cock deeper inside. Be a good girl. I would always open my legs and let him look and touch my naked parts that are only for him to enjoy.
It is so refreshing and arousing to hear that sex positive and good girl attitude! I’m pretty traditional but also very sexual and at the end of a long hard day I can’t wait to have a wife that sees things like you do! The Apostle Paul talked about bringing his body under submission and I think that principle holds true for both men and women in their natural roles! All parts to enjoy and explore and this hung horny Christian man is really aroused by this post.
My husband travels for work. I’m always a slut for him, but when he first gets back I’m such a willing freak. This is hot to read, a lot of girls these days think they’re meant to be sluts until they get married instead of once they get married. Which I was one of those girls so I’m not judging. I just wish I knew that when I was single.
Someone is going to love being married to you one day! Your future husband is blessed and doesn’t even know it yet!
I couldn’t imagine living in a sexless marriage. My body belongs to Cal. He wants me, he gets me. I get the same. And I was pleasantly shocked to see the answers to the poll, perhaps I shouldn’t be. I have opinions on porn that are probably 100% against most teachings which probably means I’m in the “wrong” but I’m really into it myself probably even more than my husband. Part of it might be that Cal leaves a lot for work. And I will watch porn and play with myself. I know he does the same and sometimes we’ll send each other porn and then we’ll sext.
Pornography, which is by definition a graphic depiction of sexuality either visually, audibly or in written form is another of those subjects which really does require critical thought.
Research has shown that one in five cell phone searches are for porn.
In the United States 1 million people are viewing porn every minute
46% of men and 16% of women use it.
Among teenagers they view not recycling
As being more immoral than porn.
And here's where it gets even more to where the rubber meets the road.
7.7 million Americans report addiction to porn.
One in every four men report hiding they're use of porn from their partner.
As believers and receivers of Grace ( which none of us deserves) we need to understand that receiving that which is freely given to us bears a responsibility on our part. That requirement is trying to stop doing things which we know to be sinful.
What can be considered sinful is putting things above God and above his word.
And as much as we believe in God it's incumbent on us to believe that there was a reason that Jesus had to die.
…Because of sin!
And send was introduced through the enemy of our souls.
In other words the questioning of what is told to us and the choice to go against what we are told.
One of the tricks of the enemy is that of taking things which are gifts given to us such as food, commerce, time, and sex.
And twisting and perverting those things to the point where we begin to put those things before our devotion to our Creator.
The problems, these days is the overt availability of it. Not only by adults but by children.
A child's decision making skills are in constant development and as any of us who have had children know they are constantly testing us as parents.
Once they become more independent they happen to find more possibility to get into trouble. One of those can be pornography.
As it is put out there these days it's basically anything goes and with the ability to make money off of it so goes the desire to make more.
Being a fallen natures we do know right from wrong but we often push the envelope ourselves and the way that algorithms are used help to provide that which we have been seeking after….. And that which we may not have been seeking after…
Porn is always, pushing the envelope. It's not uncommon these days to see virtually any kind of taboo being pushed..
This is where a problem occurs with those who don't have good decision making skills, and at the same time possess a fallen nature.
That which was considered taboo now becomes normal not only normal but sought after.
So what we have to consider is, who are we letting influence our thoughts our behaviors and our actions?
Are we actually discerning by taking part of things that may be leading us and others astray down a road we should not be going?
We have used it on occasion over the years. But for us what we've decided is that we ourselves are the best porn.
Filming ourselves and taking pictures of ourselves has been a go-to for us now for a long time. Well alone or together it's not that unusual for us to watch a video of ourselves engaged in raw passion.
Admittedly it's not always the best camera work or editing. But it's still will turn on!
As far as the judgment of those who use it. We need to go beyond the fact that they do, and discover why it is that they're seeking it and in keeping with what this particular site is about. Why in a supposed monogamous marriage is one or the other using it?
This is not an across the board reason because we all have our own purposes and uses for it.
The question is number one how was your sexual communication? Are you able to openly honestly communicate sexual thoughts desires and feelings with each other, and do so without fear of judgment or loss?
Secondly are we being what our partner needs sexually, or are we just assuming that we are what they need ?
It's incumbent on both parties to not only try to look appealing for their partners.
But even more important is discovering their likes their desires their needs and their quirks. What fetishes might they have and what kinks? And what sort of things do they what to find out about or experience but haven't?
The willingness to experience things together as long as they are number one not expressly forbidden in the word, number two save, and number three not illegal.
Is part of the pleasure of two people in love who can be open honest and explore things together.
Not only enjoying things for themselves but the lighting in the pleasure of the other..
In general, porn, like money isn't in of itself an evil thing. It's the love of it that is!
And I said before the inherent danger of addiction is always present.
Pardon me but I have to look at a few pictures of my lovely wife and take care of business.
M.🔥
Lady L. Here,
I have to follow up my husbands comment with my own confession.
Being that I am attracted to women, but never actually have had sex with a woman.
I do on occasion do an image search for amateur mature women masturbating and, homemade mature lesbians and jill to it when the craving gets too strong.
He does know all about it and gives me a pass on it.
Lady L. ❤️💦💦💦
My advice, let him watch you while you enjoy it
I don’t know of it’s the healthiest answer but Cal and I both watch porn. I watch it more than her does, I know a bit odd, but it is what it is. He travels often for work, actually he should be home in a couple hours and I’m planning on fucking him on our porch before he can go through the door… anyway I watch it while he’s away and send him videos of what I want him to do to me and what I plan on doing to him. Actually we sext with gifs more than videos. We have discussed only watching ethical porn with married couples, but I’m not there yet. When I met Cal he was doing porn, He was a porn actor and, maybe we’ll get into that another time. I’m not saying porn is healthy, I’m not even saying it’s not harmful, it probably is. I’m just saying I enjoy it and that’s where I’m at.
Hubby and I watch some amateur porn. There are a few sites that you can upload pics and vids too. We love when the couple are talking dirty.
I see that this topic has a lot of interest, so I will add some more thoughts.
First of all, professional porn has never appealed to me at any point in my life due to the artificiality.
As I mentioned earlier, I did consume a fair amount of soft porn as a lonely college student. This mostly consisted of tasteful nudes of women which I masturbated to. Occasionally I looked at tasteful nude art of men, not really out of any homoerotic interest as much as just wondering what women were interested in that I was not up to par with (I had virtually no attention from women until I met Vanessa, and even then she was not initially attracted to me sexually, but that grew over time).
Personally, I don’t see anything explicitly wrong with viewing a consenting married couple making love with each other, but this would probably not be something I’d want to indulge (lawful, but not profitable), at least not on any sort of regular basis.
Personally, I don’t watch any porn or even listen to erotic audio as a married man (though I listened to it on the daily in college).
We have posted some audio of us making love, and as an exhibitionist I am turned on by this, I have gotten comments from people who said they masturbated to it. Do I feel bad about that? Sometimes. But it is very sexy too, I admit.
As for Vanessa, when I met her she shared with me that she was a porn addict, although she was not and has never been into anything hardcore. I do think she was mostly introduced to it in a previous relationship. She has also stripped due to peer pressure in her college days, but not professionally. She doesn’t like any sort hardcore stuff, mostly nude bedroom scenes from movies and other materials of couples in bed that are more or less tasteful. She said it was a way she coped with not having sex after her last relationship ended shortly before she met me. I initially was uncomfortable with her using that while masturbating, but I tried to show her grace and not give her a hard time about it. Mostly it made me uncomfortable because I cannot compete with a male porn star in anything except for ball size or physical strength. Even then, I doubt most of those guys have ever taken more than one 12-6 elbow from hell and have the marks on their faces to show from it. Or the surgical scars that I have on my body. But I prayed and just let it go. And I admit I eventually kind of found it hot that she jilled off to porn from time to time.
Although I think she sometimes still watches, and I know she sometimes fantasizes about us being watched in bed, for the most part she says that’s a habit that has mostly disappeared as the years have gone by.
I personally do not support the porn industry (I detest it in fact). Amateur porn between married lovers I think is ok, but can lead to unhealthy habits. I don’t know what else to say; but I hope that is helpful.
For those wondering — the 12-6 elbow strikes I mentioned did not occur in any sanctioned fights… I’ll just leave it at that 😅
There are safety reasons those, and a few other moves, had been banned for most of MMA history. However, they have recently been legalized (in 2024).
I'm bumping this to ask for prayer.
This week marks **15 years** since the last time that I got laid.
As bad as that is, it's worse when you consider that I have been divorced for slightly less than five years. Do the math. That's 10 years of being married and my wife having no interest in sex.
The pressure of that alone is difficult to bear, but then add in all the spiritual and emotional loneliness of trying to maintain my Christian walk in this situation.
Thanks, in advance, for your prayers.
Hi, TurnedOn47!
I will say a prayer for you. I am sure it has been difficult and I personally cannot imagine how tough it would be, having not experienced it.
I also wanted to say sorry if any of my comments ever sounded dismissive, sometimes I struggle with wording things correctly and can be a bit socially awkward.
I liked your idea about being filmed, but I forgot to mention the backstory about my wife – she had a lot of pressure in her very early adulthood to strip, be in porn, etc. both from older men she know as well as older men online. I should have mentioned that. It’s not at all reflecting on you. You sound like a nice guy. Like I said if we were to be in the same room and I was loving on my wife I think she would have no problem having you watch, and would probably enjoy it. She just had some bad experiences where she was pressured before we met by older men and it’s just a bit of baggage she has and no reflection on you.
For what it’s worth, we’ve posted audio online of us together. If you listen to any of those type of sites, you maybe heard her cumming already!
I do feel bad for you and wish there was a way we could help you without crossing a line. Anyway, your videographer fantasy is certainly cool and one I personally wouldn’t have problems with. But I both respect my wife’s hangups due to bad memories, as well as MH’s rules about not sharing contact info.
Hope you can forgive me if I came across rude in our first conversation about that as it was completely unintentional.
Probably the only truly satisfying thing for you would be to enter into marriage covenant with a likeminded woman who loves you. So I will continue to pray that for you.
God bless.
I've had a love/hate relationship with porn since I was 4 or 5. I didn't have my own porn stash til I was 16. Been masturbating since the 3rd grade. My porn use reached its stride around 18-20.
I am against Big Porn, Vivid, Wicked, etc. because it is prostitution. It endorses sin, & is against God, Jesus, & the Bible at most every turn. However, I may indulge from time to time.
The porn I read/view bow is much less & much more suited to my christian beliefs. I mostly frequent pro wife sites. One is here at MH. 3 others allow pretty much viewing without raising a concern of conscience if you so wish. It is mostly pics, stories, with some vids.
The biggest problem is sharing & secular views plague these sites. And, the other problem is I am concerned that my viewing will cause others to fall away from Christ, if they find out. Plus, one last concern is my mind. Do I see a person as someone to share the gospel with, or as someone to undress with my eyes? Here, lately, that has risen as a problem the more my mind orbits these sites. They can become a huge time waster & distraction from God's will of saving people.
These concerns can actually be a balancing mechanism between sex & spreading the gospel. I see my concern as a need to mature in my new found beliefs on sex that MH has helped confirm.
Thanks for your wonderful thoughtful post.
She Calls Me Mister,
You said that there is a "pro wife" site here on MH.
Could you please explain? And, is there a link?
I need a "safe" site that can help me get relief.
I think he simply meant that MH itself is a pro-wife site, and MH is one side among others that he visits.
That darn English and its tendency to be open to multiple unintended interpretations, haha!