Loss and Gratitude
I thank God for sex and what it means in a marriage. It’s clear that He had a perfect design for it, and intended it to be an intimate connection and a great physical pleasure. Many here have wonderful and vibrant sex lives, and I thank God for that also.
My question is this: If your sex life were to end abruptly or wane over time, what would you miss the most?
Conversely, what are you most thankful for in regards to your sex life?
Those are “hard” or “not so hard” questions. 😉
If my Melody n I could no longer have sex I’d miss everything about it. We HAVE had periods of abstinence due to health issues like surgery, UTI, yeast infection, hospitalization far from each other, etc. But we have found ways to still be sexually intimate without sexual intercourse. The spiritual n emotional intimacy that “cums” 😉 from our sexual sharing would be missed if sexual contact was completely lost. And I’ll add that the orgasms we share are my drug of choice – a GOOD drug!
Now I think I’ve answered your second question as well. But I’ll add that the feeling of my wife caressing my cock with her sweet pussy during sexual intercourse as we really fuck each other is a peak experience every time. And cumming inside her plus helping HER cum is also spectacular! I marvel and am amazed every time! Finally, I adore her boobies and orally plus manually loving on them!
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, LM.
You bring up a good point; along with the physical and emotional aspects, there is a spiritual element to sex in Christian marriages.
Most don’t embrace that part. In fact, I would say most either ignore or run from it.
And I agree, there is something spectacular about making your wife cum. 😉
I would miss the closeness and secrets of intercourse. Sex is about connection and making the other feel good. I would miss watching my wife lose control and her body giving in to the pleasure I gave her. I would miss watching the "show" she puts on just for me that only I can see. I would miss pounding her sweet pussy and her moans and screaming of pleasure telling me not to stop. I would miss kissing her in places that made her wet. I would miss her wetness on my cock and fingers. Finally, I would miss not making love and after laying in each other's arms.
All very good points, and I agree with each of them wholeheartedly. 😊 Thanks for your comment!
KM, first off I apologize for missing this earlier. once again you have posted something which provokes thought and contemplation. I think I first question is what is the reason for the loss? Is it because of my spouse or something that happened to me?
As I have said there was a point in our marriage where sex did essentially zero out and go flatline.
But that was something that could be corrected and we did as most as most already know.
However there are physical things that can happen to individuals and this is where a kind and understanding spouse needs to play. Number one they need to understand if physical or emotional limitations have come upon their partner and cause this to come about. Then there needs to be a search or a possible solution.
This is where patience and understanding comes in on both parts, first the understanding of The afflicted in that their spouse still is sexually active and desires sex. There has to be a lightning of expectations in that they can seek away to alleviate their symptoms through masturbation or if you are still able, take care of them at yourself.
It needs to be the understanding of the unafflicted that they need to love and understand with the other is going through and that expect anything sexual.
I have personally experienced loss of libido through a few different situations and at one point M. Developed erectile dysfunction which we have since corrected.
But through those times comes love and understanding and a leaning into your faith.
What I would certainly miss is the intimacy involved. The ability to enjoy the pleasure together and to indulge one another in fantasy and desires.
In the end I am thankful for having had a positive sex life. Both in the very beginning beginning of our relationship. The love we shared throughout our marriage and for the sexual revolution which we still are in at this stage of our life. It's indeed a sad thing to see people pledged in the monogamous relationship fall into the death of the most intimate part of it.
And I know a lot of people who are living through this very experience.
In the end we are to be thankful in all things and that includes our tribulations and our trials for we are to learn from them.
That's not to say we should just roll over and let the trials and tribulations run their course. If we can change things we should. Yet, these things come too all of us said sometime in our life. And these are the times that we learn to be thankful in all things and find the learning experience that was meant to come from them..
Lady L. 💗💗💗
Sadly, this is not an "if" question for me.
Some of you may recall from my introductory post late last year (linked here for new members), I have been divorced twice. And, the second time around, the last ten years of my marriage were sexless — due to her health problems.
https://marriageheat.com/2025/01/11/introducing-turnedon47s-story-with-a-poll-question-about-pornography/
So, the thing that I miss most is a feeling of "acceptance" or maybe "affirmation". Conversely, the feeling that I carry because of a lack of sex is "rejection". Glory to God, He has given me ways to fight against the negative feelings.
On a lighter note, I miss the sense of "exploring" each others' bodies. For me, that rarely got old. I delight in contemplating how God designed our bodies, and especially that He included pleasure in the design!
I can fully empathize with with feeling of needing acceptance and affirmation as well as the feeling of rejection when those needs aren’t met.
I can also testify to the negative physical and emotional affect that it has on me.
The one that no one talks about is the negative impact these feelings has on one’s testosterone.
Like it or not, there is no substitute for what we’re supposed to get from our spouse.
Unfortunately for many of us, there is no fix, just an ever present need.
1. I would miss the connection. The comrade, likemindedness, proximity, & touching the most. I ache for it as it is. Then, orgasm, if that were a part of the ending.
2. I am most thankful we still have something to work with & that we still do have sex. Lord willing, we continue in the decent season we are in, now. We are having more sex now than we had all year last year. We do seem a bit more appreciative, & humorous. Able to laugh & talk better. I thank God for that. Praying it keeps building from here & never wanes again.
That’s a very fitting response SCMM.
I’m very glad for the increased amount of sex you and your wife are having. Blessings to you and I hope it only gets better. 😊
What would I miss the most? I would miss the feeling of my big, hard cock slipping inside her wet, creamy pussy.
What am I thankful for? My wife’s love and devotion to me. In addition to, but certainly not limited to..my wife’s big DD titties and her thick ass. I tell her multiple times how God has blessed me with her! Mmm.