How Do I Accept My Body?
Hello everyone! I’ve been lurking on this site for a while, and I finally got the courage to make an account. I really enjoy reading the content here, and I’m so happy to submit something at last.
I’ve been struggling a bit with this issue. I’m a Christian, and I grew up in a Christian family. Some of this family has put me down for how I look. Shortly after I graduated high school, I was told that I didn’t look normal. That I was too skinny and possibly sickly. I went to doctors, and they said my weight was fine. My family disagreed and insisted that I wasn’t normal-looking.
They got more specific later and said my bottom wasn’t as curvy or big as the other family members. I was told to overeat and do more muscle-building exercises. I did what I could, but no results. I gave up trying to eat and exercise in that way because it felt so wrong. I feel as if they are disappointed. Every now and then they still ask about what I plan to do about my “weight issue”.
I can’t let go of their comments. For years now, I’ve been comparing myself to other women. I don’t believe people when they give me compliments. I worry about not being nice-looking enough to please my future husband if I do meet someone and get married.
I don’t want to put down any body types down or offend anyone. I still love my family, but I hate how low they make me feel by taking me through all that. So, I’m asking you all, how do I learn to accept and cherish the body God gave me?
Your Heavenly Father created you in His image, perfect in His eyes!! What ever God creates, He created for His purpose!! God's purpose for each of us is to Love Him with all our being. When the enemy whispers in your ear, remind him you are a child of The King!!! Climb into Your Father's lap, feel His loving arms wrapped around you!!! Ask The Holy Spirit to help you receive Your Freedom that Christ paid for!!!! Walk in Your Freedom, free from All those feelings that hold us in jail. You are a flower God planted to bloom for such a time as this!! God has a plan for You, Your future husband & famiy!! Start each day with I Love You Jesus, Trust The Holy Spirit to walk out His perfect plan through you!!!
Thank you so much for your words! It's amazing to be reminded of who I am in Christ
Be confident in your appearance and know it's yours and someone will find it amazing. If YOU project through God's vision of you, what he created, someone will love it (I'm sure there are those around you who care, and have cared). Be You in God's names.
Thank you so much. I see what you mean. I'm going to focus on God's view of me. Since He's the Creator.
First off, that’s rude of your family members. Second, the Lord has made us all different sizes; each is beautiful in different ways. Third, you will never accept yourself without “the renewing of your mind.” In this case, that means don’t fall into comparison traps (I wish I had A’s butt, B’s hair, C’s chest, D’s legs, E’s nose). Fourth, reject the voices that represent lies and attacks — don’t listen or absorb. Fifth and finally, keep the Lord on the throne of your life and don’t let others be in a seat of judgment over you. Let him sing over you with love. (And many men would be excited to marry a petite woman – do not fear!)
Wow, thank you so much for your advice! This is really helpful and insightful. I'm going to try to remember that the Lord's view of me is what matters.
Despite the truth that true beauty comes from within, part of that "within" is self-confidence. I'm gonna take a slightly different tack and acknowledge that a lifetime (even a young one) of being picked at and harped on can break down one's self-image. We can read the truth, hear the truth, but we can't know the truth and be set free until we *believe* the truth. Sometimes the words of those we love most carry too much weight and can, therefore, do the most damage. Probably those people didn't mean to hurt you. Maybe they were truly concerned about your health. But, if I am hearing what I think I am, that you don't feel capable of silencing the negative thoughts, then I suggest counseling as a tool. There is a technique called EMDR that is successful at helping many people desensitize to false messages they don't want to believe and replace those thoughts with truth. One of my pastors is an Army Chaplain who is trained in the technique and even uses it to help people with PTSD or suicidal thoughts. It's not a short process, but it's worth looking into. Praying for your peace and for the Spirit to lead you into all truth.
I think it's cool that, on here, there are guys who talk about their beautiful, slim, athletic wives and those who talk about the sexy, curvacious, thick wives. There was even one wife who was chosen *because* she was a quadrapelegic! I promise you, there are a lot of someone's who love your body type. But the right man will love you for so much more than just that!
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I'm going to look into EMDR. And thank you for your reassurances. I appreciate it.
My sexy wife is thin and long, without much in the way of breasts or a waist. She has what is called an athletic build. She wears classic clothes that hang beautifully. I have been intentionally walking behind her for 35 years. I’m still thrilled when she bends over, especially naked. No silicon boob jobs, no plastics. 4 kids. She is still thin, lithe, sexy and, most importantly, healthy. I knew it would likely be this way from our first date and was grateful. You have been blessed with a wonderful body type. Truly. I still love stroking my wife from head to toe. Work out to stay fit and toned. Eat healthy to live a long, full life. Work to ignore your destructive family’s expectations. What they are saying to you is wrong and hurtful. You undoubtedly have a beautiful body, one made in God’s image, that someone will cherish. Thin is always attractive.
One of the great tragedies of the internet and social media is the amount of manipulated imagery that is passed off as normal, when in fact, the curves and contours come from photoshop, not just diet and exercise. I recently spoke with the head of the photo ‘preparation’ team for a major exercise industry player. The ad model is chosen for height and body type for the situation (bike, treadmill, etc.), photographed then altered to meet societal expectations of perfection. It takes 10 very expensive Apple computers. They are selling perfection, I totally understand. But that manipulation extends to what people send across Facebook and instagram to “friends,” creating false notions of normality. Computers do what diet and exercise simply cannot. It is very hard time for developing a healthy body image, especially for teenage and young adult women.
Stand tall, literally and figuratively, exercise routinely to maintain muscle tone and eat intelligently. Thin and fit is very sexy, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Thank you! I appreciate what you are saying. I never really thought about how damaging social media could be. I'll focus on getting more healthy.
First of all let me begin by saying that you were not created to please a man with how your body looks. You were created to make a difference in this world by making a difference in your own personal and distinct way. No man or woman has ever been created just to please the opposite sex for the primary reason.
I feel so sorry for you for what you have had to endure from your family members. I know it is so easy for me to sit here and type on my keyboard and say you need to find a way to accept you for who you are, but I do realize that it is not that easy. You need to find someone you can talk to and trust about this, and ignore all of the outside input that is making you think you are different than any other woman that is walking on the face of this Earth as you read this reply. You are your own unique individual woman, and there will be a man who will gladly accept you not for how you look but for who you are as a person of truth!
Be strong and keep the faith. You will be pleasantly surprised at what the future has in store for a woman of you strength and character!
Thank you for your response! I understand what you are saying. God has created me and everyone as someone unique and with a purpose. I'm going to try to focus more on what He sees me as.
Never let others judge your appearance. Be glad you are who you are.
Thank you, I'll do my best!
My wife has an older body. But, accept yourself as you are. God made you beautiful and loves you.
Thank you so much for responding!
This might be controversial and so feel free to completely disregard this advice. I'm still figuring out what I believe is correct about sexual stuff right now.
Have you considered taking photos and posting them online to see what people think? Not naked photos but something like swimsuits and the such? Plenty of sites (reddit for example) have places where people can post for am honest critique.
Of course that caries the risk of people lusting after you.
If the problem is accepting your body, I don't think that "an honest critique," or a "critique" of any kind is going to be helpful. Accepting ourselves and our bodies is largely between us and God, and I don't think it's wise to look for affirmation from others. If we aren't looking for God's affirmation, whose will make us feel whole? If we have God's affirmation, whose else do we need?
If we seek feedback or affirmation like that, we risk tying our value to what other people think of us, which people of both secular and Christian worldviews would tell you is a bad idea. (I wouldn't put the original post in that category, as it wasn't a plea for empty affirmation but for help and godly encouragement.)
Besides, if someone is already insecure about their body, opening it up to the potentially harsh criticism that is rampant on the internet could have a much more negative effect than positive.
@patientPassion
I just know in my own life it helped some when I realized it was possible for others to be attracted to me. Yes there is the risk of a harsh negative critque but there is also the the chance someone might REALLY like what they see and that can lead to possibly an improvement in understand that yes, it is possible that I might be attractive.
I don't feel comfortable doing that, but thank you for responding!
haha, by no means feel like you "should" do it, it was just a possible suggestion.