The Replacements

Hey, gang. Here’s a weird peek inside my brain … apologies in advance. As background, part of our profile includes …

Married 40+ years, 3 amazing kids, grandkids, empty nest, quasi-retired, life-is-great stage of life. Trying to claim as much of the passion playing field as possible within God’s clear and specific prohibitions. Starting with “yes” unless He says “no”.

We’re trying to build an intense, fairytale, passion romance saga that feels like this:

(1) if others could see the level of heat, they would beg for the same thing,

(2) when others catch a fleeting glimpse of the heat, they know something’s different, and 

(3) our marriage bed heat is hotter than anything “out there”.

(4) Oh, and we need a safe word. (more on this later)

A big part of achieving this is what we call the “brain game”. That is, we are no longer awash in hormone chemicals, reacting almost involuntarily to sexual stimulation. So we either give up (hell no!), or we augment our “chem game” with our “brain game”. That means we CHOOSE to be alert, head on a swivel, always LOOKING for sex, heat, & passion triggers, and CHOOSING to “pro-act” to them.

So I’m running on the treadmill in my basement Secret Fitness Lair the other day, watching “The Replacements” movie to pass the time. Fun movie. As I’m watching, scene after scene triggers sexual beliefs and thoughts, and I’m getting more excited to be done jogging, and bring my semi-hard cock and dripping pre-cum to Queen. Yes, I’m always thinking of her. Such a giving kind of guy, no?

If you’re familiar with the movie, see if these don’t trigger some good, solid, sexual brainwaves in you. Then, choose to do something with them.

COIN FLIP

In the beginning, Coach McGinty flips a coin to see if he’ll coach the replacement players. I didn’t flip a coin to marry Queen! I chose her, from the first moment I saw her (a story for another time). Our marriage isn’t a game of chance. I’ve committed to love her, and that includes lusting in wild, unfettered, lusty, passion for her. See how easily I jump to passion? I love my brain game!

SCRAMBLING AND DRIVING

Annabelle Farrell gives Shane Falco a ride home, talking about his need to scramble as she drives like a wild woman through city traffic. My words of passion need to be in sync with my actions, or I lose credibility. Queen needs to have zero f-ing doubt that when I say I’m insanely in lust for her, they are not just words, but my lustful, passionate, actions back them up.

CHEERLEADERS AND STRIPPERS

Head of the cheerleaders, Annabelle can’t find enough, until two strippers from The Pussycat Club, down by the airport, try out. They’re in, and they bring more stripper friends. Needless to say, the cheer routines are not vanilla. My passion for Queen needs to be uninhibited, not vanilla. It should be intensely raw and not fit for Better Homes & Gardens! Translate “My man-parts desire coitus with your female-parts.” Not so much!

WINNERS ALWAYS WANT THE BALL

After their first loss, McGinty tells QB Falco that he got scared (and changed plays). Coach says winners always want the ball when the game is on the line. In classic theology, the World, the Flesh, and the Devil (WFD) always conspire to defeat us. Our marriages are always on the line if we’re not aggressively focused on winning. If I take my marriage to, and passion for, Queen for granted, we are doomed. I want the ball!

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?

A locker-room team talk about fear gets sidetracked to spiders and bees, until Shane offers “quicksand”. “You make one mistake, and then another, and then another. You’re sinking, and you can’t get out.” Holy Toledo, I’m a pro at making mistakes in my marriage! I can’t let them scare me into timidity or giving up. The only thing I need to focus on like a mad-man is Queen, and my out-of-control lust for her! No fear!

NOT IN THE PLAYBOOK

Shane calls for a unique play in the huddle, and it works. Coach says he didn’t recall that in the playbook, but says we should add it. Life doesn’t always go according to plan. Stuff happens, gets in the way, schedules change, health dips, etc. Too bad, so sad! I need to call an audible at the line of scrimmage, and make damn sure I score, in both the metaphorical and sexual sense. See what I did there?

YOU GO FOR IT

Funny scene where Shane wants to kiss Annabelle, and she’s been resisting him (she really wants it, too). Then Pat Summerall and John Madden “call the game”. Pat says “Shane’s been shut down by this defense all afternoon. What does he do?” And John Madden says simply, “You go for it.” Always while respecting Queen, I can’t ever let anything shut down my passionate pursuit of her. It’s too important to our marriage!

LIKE I JACKED OFF AN ELEPHANT (got your attention, didn’t I?)

Clifford Frankin, a fast wide receiver who doesn’t catch well, gets “stickum” put on his hands by McGinty. He complains, “You know this doesn’t look right?” Too bad. You have to use what you need to get the job done. Given our low chems, a Little Blue Pill (LBP) for me, and some lube for Queen may be just what the doctor ordered, and we’re thrilled that we can “use some help” to get the job done. It’s still f-ing fun!

WHAT’S YOUR SEXUAL CHARACTER ARC?

Toward the end, we clearly see Shane’s character arc go from failed college QB and recluse to a genuine leader. Inspiring to see. What’s your sexual character arc? How are you growing regarding passion? (You are growing, right?) I’ve always been pretty edgy (starting in Junior High!), but am now hard-focused on perfecting my brain game! Queen is evolving from a Good Girl to Married Vixen, and it’s delightful to watch.

WE CAN BE HEROES, JUST FOR ONE DAY

The closing song after they win the final game is Heroes (attributed to several artists), with unusual lyrics, but this always catches us, “I, I will be king. And you, you will be queen. … We can be heroes, just for one day.” Every day I wake up, I choose to focus my love, lust, and unfettered passionate desire on Queen. Just for one day. And then you can bet, tomorrow morning, I’m delighted to do it all again. Be passion heroes!

So I know this is an unusual post. I hope you take away a sense of urgency about living your passion for your spouse without hesitation or reservation, no holds barred, take no prisoners, damn the torpedoes, improvise – adapt – overcome, etc. I am by no means perfect, but for some reason, my eyes are open, I see heat and passion everywhere I look, and my brain game just screams out for Queen. It’s truly a delight. We hope you enjoy the same.

Notes:

We use the term “Vixen” to describe Queen’s sexual identity (versus the old Good Girl). The Urban Dictionary has several definitions, some with out-of-bounds sexual connotations. That’s not what we mean. For Queen and I, a vixen is a confident, attractive, sexually charged female, intensely desirable, and one who enthusiastically embraces her sexuality and passion. A married, Christian, monogamous vixen. All the good, nothing else.

Regarding our safe word, we joke, but we like the idea of being so sexually intense and free with each other that we could use one. Currently, our safe word is “LEG CRAMP!”, we crack up, and all’s well.

God bless you, my friends, and we hope you CHOOSE for your marriage bed to catch on fire every day!