Confessing Brought Us Closer
Thank you, MH!
I wrote about Opening Up About Masturbation back in 2022. To recap: I have been married for years, I do masturbate regularly, but was struggling with guilt and shame and never opened up about this to my dear wife. Well, not until now that is.
Thanks to all the comments and suggestions that followed my story, I finally mustered up my courage and talked to my princess. It was probably one of the most stressful conversations in my life, but it turned out wonderfully. She was not at all condemning or disappointed. In fact, she said she was happy that I took care of myself. And… she admitted to masturbation herself! It turns out my dear Christian wife has been masturbating regularly for years just like I have.
That conversation was so refreshing, so relieving and calming. Now I no longer feel bad about hiding an important aspect of my life from her. And it has brought us even closer. We have also incorporated masturbation into our sex life. We have lots of kinds of fun, games, etc. We use it as foreplay. We roleplay being naughty, getting caught, and so on. And when my wife cannot or does not want to have sex, she will sometimes say: “Go, have some private fun time,” and kiss me.
Overall, I cannot stress enough how our marriage has improved. I wish I had discussed masturbation earlier with her.
And thank you all. You are a blessing.
Yes! A very good thing to talk about early on!
We had some good discussions early on, after I caught my wife in the act.
One of the first talks we had, was how we learned and got ourselves off the first time. It turned into a show and tell! Very memorable, and educational! Masturbation became another thing we do together, and do together still!
Very nice Jack, and what an appropriate name 😉
As I believe I shared here recently, Jim and I masturbate frequently, with and without each other. I recently compared notes with Jim and discovered that I self-pleasure almost twice as often as he does. No big surprise there; I am probably the horniest woman I have ever met. And I love that Jim and I still do it openly.
Praise to the Lord for working that out so wonderfully for you! I'm so glad you were honest and she was accepting. I truly think masturbation is a gift for both the married and single, so it's great that you can enjoy it and know that your wife is fine with it and enjoying it too.
I agree. Sometimes I have an incredible urge to bring my mouth to my husband's cock as he is stroking, but I hate to interrupt his fast stroking. It’s the same with me when I’m working my pussy and clit hard while twisting and biting my breasts and nipples. Just the other night, he walked in on me (early from work) and I just begged him to finish me while I worked on my nipplegasm.
He did oblige, after spanking me very hard for being naughty and getting caught by our "neighbor" (latest role play.)
What a blessing to have an understanding and encouraging spouse!
Love this, Jack! I, too, found out I was in a similar situation. We’ll run into dry spells every now and again, and my wife will encourage me to “take a long shower” (which is our code for me to take care of things in the shower) when she can sense my sexual well-being is compromised and my need building up. Sometimes, I’ll hear the door open and her shadow behind the curtain before she peeks in for a quick show. Other times, she asks for a quick synopsis when I get out and into bed. I reciprocate the encouragement, but she’s not always on board for sharing. She doesn’t discount it immediately though, so I know it’s a continual work in process.
And congrats on being #5000!
My wife and I waiting far to many years before sharing that we both masturbated. Once that was out in the open, it too became a regular part of our sex life. Later, when she became ill, it was our only resort for her. She could perform blowjobs on me, by the lichen sclerosis she had in her vagina made even my short beard stubble painful, so for her, masturbation was a gold mine.
Nice! I’m glad that worked out for the both of you.
Our story is similar. For years, I masturbated mostly in private, but my wife knew I did. A few years ago, I just opened up about it and told her when and how often. She was kind of shocked on the how often. She told me there was no need to hide it.
We now mutually masturbate together fairly often. She enjoys it too! It took some encouragement for her do it. Something I wish we would have talked about years ago!!! It is a very freeing experience. It has made us closer for sure.
Thanks for this ‘confession.’ Sorting out the question of masturbation is so important for a young couple – before marriage and certainly at the time of marriage. We talked about it during our dating years and wholeheartedly agreed and celebrated the freedom (and encouragement) to masturbate. We've done so all 50+ years together!
That is awesome. Especially 50 years ago! It might be a difficult conversation, but I think couples should talk about it before marriage and what each expects or wants. Sex doesn't always have to be PIV sex. Mutual masturbation is wonderful! My wife and I enjoy it often.
Great story, Jack.
Glad you finally had that conversation with your wife. Not sure why so many of us feel like we have to hide our masturbation? But when we finally open up in honesty/vulnerability it invariably results in an increase in intimacy/connection. Kinda makes you wonder why we hesitated so long!
My situation was very similar. My wife was actually relieved that I’d be willing to “take care of myself” occasionally as it takes a little pressure off of her as the lower-desire in our relationship. I’m still working towards getting her into her own solo play, but being post-menopausal with “0” libido, it’s probably just not gonna happen.