Multiple Orgasm Training
I just finished reading a post about edging. It reminded me of our experience in discovering information (and learning about) having and enhancing orgasms. As a young man, I was always curious about sex and couldn’t wait to get started. So strong was my desire that I went “solo” for years before getting any actual PIV experience. Despite being taught sex outside of marriage was a sin, I believed it was a forgivable sin. I did have experience before marriage with other women, but I have remained faithful to my wife since meeting her. I believe my early relationships ended in ways that directly resulted from my sin.
Mary was a virgin when we met and remained one until our wedding night. We had a strong physical attraction to each other, which led to what I thought was a satisfactory sex life. Mary didn’t deny or withhold her physical charms, and I was happy to appreciate our physical connection. We enjoyed exploring physical pleasure in ways only a trusting relationship can allow. I’d purchased a few sex toys while our family was still growing, and we’d experimented a bit with them.
It was while using a vibrator for the first time that Mary actually squirted during a strong orgasm. I was surprised, shocked even, that it had happened. I thought she’d perhaps lost control of her bladder from the intensity of the orgasm. Her strong stream sprayed me as she jerked and bucked her entire body. This may have been the strongest orgasm she’d ever experienced.
Maybe it was the vibrator or that we’d snuck away for privacy to a friend’s house where I was dog-sitting. Perhaps it was the freedom of not being concerned with making too much noise and drawing our boys’ attention. Whatever the reason, this was a wonderfully strong orgasm.
I wish I could say this was the start of a new level of intensity in our sex life, but it wouldn’t be true. That didn’t happen until years later. After I retired, I had more free time to read and think about our life together. The internet was now a regular part of our lives; access to information on any subject imaginable was just a Google search away.
By then, both our sons were grown and living independently elsewhere. We had a quiet home with plenty of privacy. I remembered the squirting episode and began reading about what may cause that response. I bought a few books and read more. One work that I read described how sexual response, while occurring naturally, is also a learned response.
While having an orgasm comes easily for men, it’s not the same for women. Surprisingly (to me anyway) some women never or rarely reach orgasm. But according to my reading, women can be taught to orgasm. And once they reach one orgasm, they may be able to have another soon after, becoming multi-orgasmic.
The lengthy article was written by someone connected to the Sybian sex machine as an advertisement for the machine. The title was “Rebooting Your Sex Life.” It was a very detailed explanation for women, offering a step-by-step process to discover what pleases you and to condition and teach your body to respond. I read this several times and even took some notes.
I selected some of the training methods they suggested and made a plan. It began with asking, “Would you like to improve our sex life?” I was thrilled to hear she would be willing to try! Thinking back, who would say “No” to that question?
I became very excited and considered how we should progress. We started by setting aside a special time for “training.” I began referring to our experimentation as having a “training day.” I was very selective in choosing how to implement specific activities, choosing some and ignoring others the article suggested. This was because Mary never masturbated, to my knowledge, and seemed to have no interest in it.
She did enjoy me touching her, and especially genital massage, which would lead to an orgasm. The author’s suggestion relied heavily on a woman using masturbation techniques to “wake up” her response to stimuli. Knowing Mary’s reluctance to do this, I knew I’d need to assist in that area. I was more than willing, as I find nothing more exciting than watching her experience an orgasm.
A part of the training included wearing a blindfold to block visual input, which can be distracting. The idea was for her to focus on the pleasurable sensations, which enabled her to build up to an orgasm. Initially, I used only my hands to stimulate her. As we progressed, different toys were added to strengthen her response and provide stimulation AFTER her initial orgasm.
Another surprise for me was how a position change can affect sexual response. Changing positions during sexual activity can dramatically change the response to stimuli, whatever form is used. The use of toys provided continuous, unchanging stimulation during an orgasm and may have assisted her in becoming multi-orgasmic.
Mary also taught her body to respond to breast play. Perhaps wearing the blindfold helped her to really connect with the kisses, small nips and sucking that I gave her breasts. She began having “mini-orgasms,” laughing and jerking her body when I began my breast foreplay. I noticed that attention to her neck, ears, and breasts made her vagina wet and her vaginal lips swell and moisten.
Mary told me that she became sensitive after an orgasm and that it was uncomfortable to continue. I had read this was common and that it was important to continue if you wanted to experience multiples. We had to push through the discomfort and keep up stimulation, perhaps moving more slowly, switching to another type of stimulation, or taking a very short break of a minute or less. The important thing was to “push through” and keep some stimulation going.
This eventually resulted in a breakthrough: she soon began having another even stronger, longer-lasting, orgasm. After having a second, it didn’t take much longer for her to continue experiencing orgasm after orgasm. I thought after some similar episodes that she’d ask to stop. I lost count of how often she came, and soon, one orgasm started a series of them. I’ll admit her response was a joy to see. I was enjoying watching her reactions as much as she was experiencing them.
The focus of genital stimulation was NOT the entirety of her training. Touching, massaging and kissing body parts was a part of foreplay and training. Accompanying this, words of encouragement were also included. Statements like:
“I love to watch your nipples become erect when I kiss and suck on them.”
“You are making me so hard when I see how your body responds to my touch.”
“I get so excited when I see your vaginal lips swell and open up when I rub them.”
“You look so beautiful when I see you reaching orgasm and start cumming. It’s so exciting to watch.”
As our success in her response built, I’d offer more words of encouragement, including:
“I know you’re getting close. When you start to cum, I want you to ride it as long as you can.”
“Keep cumming. I know you can come harder and longer. See how long you can cum.”
I believe this encouragement assisted her in experiencing longer and stronger orgasms.
Later experimentation and play led to new discoveries. After oral attention, Mary would get on her knees, facing away from me, and we’d apply lube to her clit. She could then experience strong orgasms accompanied by copious squirting when her clit and G-spot were massaged. Several episodes of squirting strong streams of fluid often seemed to drain her of energy. She’d collapse on the bed. Other times, it energized her. She’d then straddle my erection and ride it energetically until she had another orgasm or, often, several more. She’s even managed to squirt while she’s riding me. I remind her that I don’t mind.
I feel blessed to have a great wife who enjoys the physical attention I give her. And she certainly returns it to me. Our relationship continues to grow as we both learn. For instance, after “attending” to one of her breasts then moving to the other, I noticed she often caressed the breast I just left.
Most recently, I’ve encouraged her to apply lube to her vagina and clit, telling her, “Be sure you rub it in well, and make sure to get some lube inside of you.” I watch as she sometimes can bring herself to a first orgasm as the lube is applied. It’s satisfying to watch her apply lube to her body and then continue attention to the sensitized areas.
God has blessed us by providing such great sexual partners!
Queen here. Thanks, Oldtimer, for this hot, informative piece! I’m encouraged (and glad) that you two continue to grow your sex life, even in your retirement years. It’s a choice that Hubbie and I are making as well. I have never squirted before, but this is encouraging to me that old dogs CAN learn new tricks!
it's not only old dogs that can learn new tricks..
Thanks for reading my post & sharing your comments.
I can't say my goal was to teach Mary to squirt, it just happens. My goal is ( always) for her to experience
extreme pleasure, and joy in the expression of our physical love
Hubbie here:
Good post, OT, and thanks! I love your “tips and tricks”, these sexual “hacks”, for women to learn to orgasm more easily, more frequently, more better (more better? You know what I mean.) My reading, while not as extensive as yours, and psychological intuition, suggests a few others …
* I think it’s tough for women to “lay back” and “receive” pleasure just for themselves. God bless Queen, and other wives/mothers who have “given” all their lives. We are blessed because of it! And the daily Stuff of life never sleeps, and will always clamor for attention! It takes “Intentionality” to say, “No, it’s my time!”
* I encourage Queen all the time to masturbate and “make love to her pussy”! This is her body, her most intimate parts, and a very intimate act. To engage in masturbation “mechanically”, to “check the box”, seems counterintuitive, and probably less effective. Research is clear that female sexual response is not “push-button”.
* I would also theorize that focusing just on achieving an orgasmic response as the mark of success or failure is a less effective focus. I encourage Queen to lay back and be present in 20 – 30 minutes of just basking in her feminine pleasure, the miracle of her body, and I bet an orgasm just might surprise her.
And, to our wonderful MH ladies, please forgive me if this sounds like “mansplaining”. I recognize that I am no authority to speak on something so singularly feminine. My mind is always consumed with ways to serve and please Queen, and these “theories” just develop in my monogamous, passion-focused brain! Please tell us men what more we need to know!
Just some additional thoughts sparked by your good post. Thanks and keep them coming (pun intended!)
Blessings and passion.
Thanks for reading my post, Hubbie..& sharing your thoughts.
While I agree that some women are so into "giving" to others it's hard for them to lay back and receive
pleasure..(it's something that CAN be learned). The idea of wearing a blindfold helps, blocking out visual stimuli that can distract from just focusing on what feels good to them. Communication is so critical, i.e. to ask "what feels better, faster ? or slower ? " …Or "harder or softer" ..learning for themselves, what it is that they prefer, so you can make the experience better for them.
" Research is clear that female sexual response is not “push-button”…" And what is desirable for some may be the opposite for another. Again, why communication is so critical. One can quickly learn that experimentation itself can be fun.
In talking with some men about their sexual activity, it becomes clear that some men focus on getting the pleasure they want, or feel they deserve. little thought is given to how their partner feels, whether they get enjoyment from the encounter. Often, these same men are divorced, separated, or in 2nd, or 3rd marriages. Do they ever even wonder why ? To anyone giving it any thought,.. if one desires to have frequent sexual activities with their mate, it would be in their best interest to make it as enjoyable as possible for their partner. Who doesn't want to have MORE fun ?.. whether they're male or female.
Hey oldtimer,
This is a great story and there are several things I love about it.
First, I love the intentionality. Many times the husband, the wife, or both just stop trying. Yours is a success story and is truly inspirational.
Second, I love the use of the word “training”. It makes my inner Dom happy, and while you may or may not have that type of relationship, you did take the initiative and sought out ways to make sex satisfying for both you and your wife.
Third, I love your methodical approach. Most people think sex should just come naturally and allow whatever happens to be the norm. You (or your wife) didn’t do that and now you’re both reaping the dividends. Nicely done.
Last, you brought up a very real truth that while men often orgasm easily, women often do not. Your desire to make sure she not only cums, but truly enjoys sex is an example that most men need to follow. Hats off to you for not only doing this, but also for sharing this part of your journey.
Thanks, KingdomMan for your comments..I find agreement & satisfaction in your posted comments,
esp. " Most people think sex should just come naturally and allow whatever happens to be the norm"
I also believe many have unrealistic expectations when it comes to sexual satisfaction / performance as new lovers… when a couple begin making a love life together. It takes time, effort, thought, & "intentionality"
for us to learn to develop the sexual relationship we desire.
Wonderful post oldtimer, and great information!
I too encourage all couples to attempt to achieve multiple orgasms, for both! We were a one & done couple when we first married, but accidently discovered, it did not have to be that way! It made our sex lives so much better! A lot better!
All will not be able to get there, so multiples shouldn't be a goal, but attempting multiples should be!!
Thanks Tulsa for your thoughts as well. While learning how to have multiple orgasms was the topic I chose, it was realistically an approach to learning how my wife could have more enjoyment in our sexual interactions. My thought was / is.. if your mate is having more enjoyment ( satisfaction) in their sexual activities, it stands to reason they'll be interested in having sexual activity more often.
Yes, there is a selfish satisfaction in my desire for Mary to enjoy our sex activities more, and having multiple orgasms did ( / does ) increase her desire to engage in those activities more often.
I consider it a win-win situation.
This was so informative and helpful! Thanks, oldtimer! As a single woman preparing for possible marriage in the future, I want to understand my body as much as I can. I've struggled with the fact that women can't orgasm as easily as men, thinking to myself, "That's not fair", even though I know life isn't fair. Hearing stories of women who were not very open to their own sexuality but who decided to learn anyway have really encouraged me. Your wife's experience has some similarities to mine, in that I don't think I could, without training, handle more stimulation after an orgasm. Neither have I ever squirted, though I want to learn. I'm not even sure that what I experience during masturbation are true orgasms; they're very brief and afterwards I'm done and ready to move on to other things. I hope to gather more info and practice things that will help prolong that pleasure.
It takes time. First you have to have learn different ways to make yourself cum.
Then after your first orgasm, slow down for a moment and focus on your breathing and on alternative fantasy – note that Songs never mentions God; their focus is on each other and themselves.
You need that mental stimulation of fantasy or MH stories. Then resume sexually touching yourself, but not with the way you have just made yourself cum; use one of your alternatives. Even if only fingers over a bit, or a change of clothing, or location.
LLL, don't just think of your masturbation as preparation for marriage – good to hope and pray for, but no certainty.
It is good to learn and explore your sexual body, but there are other reasons to do this. Primarily as thanksgiving and offering to God for the gift of your body and sexuality. This primary reason is the strongest reason why masturbation needs to continue in marriage.
It is vital for sexual purity; she who masturbates is not fornicating or committing adultery. Masturbation, at its core, is a holy and pure sexual activity.
Be pure for your maybe husband, which is admirable. Be pure for God.
Another thing, be in good shape physically, eat and sleep well, plus regularly exercise and work on losing any excess weight.
Thanks, LLL. Though women may not orgasm as quickly as men (a thing some men wish wasn't true ..LOL) their ability to learn (train themselves?) to have multiple orgasms, is something men can envy. I recently read an article on the differences in sexual responses by men and women and had some interesting facts (theories?) presented. Unfortunately, I didn't save the link, but if I find it again, I'll add it in these comments for you & others to read..providing administers allow it. It is more scientific in it's description than most articles I've read, relating hormone levels involved. Either the same or another article I read described women's ability to squirt, or ejaculate. This article claimed it is dependent on genetics, and how much G-spot tissue a women has, claiming this tissue may not be present in some women. The more of this tissue present, the easier (or more possible) it is for a woman to ejaculate. Thinking back, I believe this information was from two different articles on the same site.
Did a little searching, and the link I mentioned in the above post re: female ejaculation can be found on the site called, "The Marriage Bed"
under the Biology of Sex heading.
I hope the administers allow posting this, as it's another Christian website.
[From MH: https://themarriagebed.com/female-ejaculation/ ]
Oldtimer, this is great. I have also done some homework on this topic. My wife has not yet discovered the multiple orgasm, but we did discover the power of squirting. I still remember the first few times. My wife thought she peed. Then she realized that she had gone to the bathroom before just before she came to bed. Another thing that changed everything for her was when I bought her a "bed diaper." Not sure what it is reallu called but it’s just a washable item we lay on the bed before sex. This gave my wife a wonderful level of freedom, knowing she was not going to make a mess of the bed. One other thing I will share is that I always keep the fingernails on my first two fingers cut short. I am sure I don’t need to tell you why. I look forward to my wife reading this; we will continue to experiment in discovering the multiple O.
Thanks, Mokey,for sharing your experience & comments. I didn't mention that Mary also stated she was embarrassed by the "mess" she made, after having a heavy squirting orgasm. I repeatedly stated that it was o.k., & not anything to be embarrassed about, but actually was quite hot, to me.. I was seeing her express the strong passion she felt by her response. She is more comfortable now, after we started putting a thick towel under her, for our more extended love making sessions, when she's more likely to have that experience. My wife also suggested that I trim my nails,& keep them short, so it's more comfortable for her when engaging in hand play, which she really enjoys.