Heat of the Moment
Being in the heat of the moment does wonders for lowering one’s inhibitions. It is during these times that, I believe, the curtain is dropped and we are revealed for who we truly are.
Excluding things that are out of bounds, I would like to ask a couple of questions.
1. Have you ever done or said something in the heat of the moment with your spouse that you regretted?
2. Have you ever done or said something in the heat of the moment that led to a more fulfilling sex life with your spouse?
3. Singles, have you ever thought of or tried something in the heat of solo masturbation that you wish to keep buried?
4. Singles, have you ever thought of or tried something in the heat of solo masturbation that has led you to more positive experiences?
Ok I’ll go first. Regrets in the heat of the moment? Sometimes I’m too practical. Worrying about making a mess, weird noises, my physical appearance. Ignore do lists, chores, texts, phone calls. Stay in the moment. Don’t slip out of it.
Something different in the heat of the moment that we loved? Reaching for the vibrator, him adding a bit of lube, dirty talk at just the right moment. Anything that breaks the routine, adds a bit of variety.
Masturbation regrets? Not locking the door when we had kids in the house. Yikes!
Something different in the heat of the moment. Calling him. Anything that involves your spouse. “I’m going to masturbate. Want to watch me?” Try that. You won’t regret it.
Sometimes it’s truly hard to stay focused with all the distractions. I think we’ve all probably been guilty of the same.
Toys are a wonderful thing and it’s great that you and hubby enjoy them!
I’ve never had a “Yikes!” moment like that, but there were some close calls 😂
Ooo, and keep making those phone calls! 😉
My first wife sometimes used to say that she wanted to "break the routine". But, she rarely said anything one way or the other about what she liked or didn't like. For me, it was a near-constant guessing game. Very frustrating. So, I mostly stuck with "the routine" — for two reasons. First, it sure felt good to me! (Most anything that involved dick in pussy was fine with me.) Second, the routine was emotionally "safe" from her complaints.
Years ago, I came back from a long business trip. The first thing we did when I got home was get naked and jump in a pile, and when at it PIV. Instead of puling out, and eating her to orgasm before I came, I lost control and unloaded in her pussy.
In the heat of the moment I went down on her anyway. No regrets at all. She came like crazy, and it was the best move I ever made. There was no more she cums first rule after that!
Oooo….way to lose control in just the right way! Mmmm, yummy 😉
Cum play is always good.
I would definitely LOVE to read about that first time heat of the moment, btw…
Great question… I will address #2.
I believe it was just after our first anniversary when Jim took me out to celebrate at a very fancy restaurant near Miami Beach. I wore a slinky style, very light dress so I could enjoy the ocean breeze- and it was very sensual because I wore no underwear at all, and I could feel everything.
So, to answer #2, I looked across the lovely set table, wine glass in hand, and asked Jim “”lately I’ve been wondering if you would love me even more if I was truly your little cock-loving little slut!”
His answer changed everything for us.
“”Darling, I think you’re the sexiest woman on the planet, and I admit that I love showing you off to everyone we encounter; and I especially love how horny you get when you get really slutty – like tonight when I know that you are naked under that slinky dress.”
This was the beginning of our exhibitionist adventures- and also the enhancement of our orgasms to this day.
I love being his slut, and his sexual slave!
Your last sentence says it all, and I know that you and Jim have an awesome sex life.
I also appreciate the exhibitionism. In the right setting, it’s fun, daring, and a delightful way to warm up for an arousing evening. 😉
Patty,
I really appreciated your answer here, too.
Your comment touched a nerve with me growth through exploration.
I felt that more and more recently. Sometimes it takes stepping into discomfort to discover what truly fulfils us. There’s a deep kind of trust and connection that comes from pushing boundaries together, even when you realise later where your limits lie.
Love Lauren
Loved your story.
Esp the no panties under dress. WOW.
His response to do u love me more was awesome
I once called my wife a dirty SLUT in the heat of the moment, what I thought was a mistake has led to a more fulfilling sex life with my hotstuff. We now regularly use dirty talk, she loves being my slut and recently said f…. me like a porn star so I pounder her hard as requested.
That’s fantastic! I’m very happy that worked out for you both. Dirty talk isn’t for everyone, but I’m a huge fan. Thanks for commenting!
Thankfully it’s a ‘no’ for #1.
Thankfully it’s a ‘yes’ for #2! In our late 20s, I fantasized that my dear Anne would enjoy and want to be shaved. We never talked about in nonsexual moments, and I didnt know w to broach the topic.
One night, in the scorching 🔥 middle of foreplay, I whispered, “Would you like me to shave your pussy?” She breathily, moaned, “Oh, yes, please!” That night, I tenderly and carefully shaved her pubic mons and pussy and then spread coconut oil on her fully flowered, bald pussy. We fucked and came so good that night!!!
You don’t see a lot of men talk about shaving their wives, but I find it hot and intimate.
Personally, I would love to see you flesh out this story and post it here. 😉
I’ll second that suggestion!
First time I shaved my wife, her pussy was drooling all the while I was getting the job done! My hard cock was drooling too! Best part was, she had an orgasm when I was cleaning her up with a warm washcloth, which was just her first of many that afternoon!
Ooo, Tulsa – You have to write that story!
Thanks for your comments. I’ve been shaving my wife’s pubis for over 10 years now. It started when I told her I’d really like her to have a clean, smooth pussy area after an oral session where I gaged several time on pubic hair. Although she had trimmed and shaped her hair, it was still there and got in the way. Her response was “if you want me smooth and free of hair. Then I want you to do it!” That began our current routine of me shaving her two or three times a week , with her “touching it up” in between when she bathes.
I keep my public hair removed as well, and have for over 40 years after being shaved for a medical procedure, and my wife declaring that she preferred me smooth and hair free. So, I shave daily when showering.
I highly recommend the feeling of hair-free connections as well as how it allows for a wonderfully spectacular view of (for me) her magnificent love garden. We’ll never go back!
I remember, many years ago, standing in the shower masturbating, as I liked to do behind a locked door. (Some things don't change!). I had my eyes closed enjoying the moment but when I opened them, my wife was standing there watching. I jumped in shock and embarrassment but I'll never forget the look of lust and desire on her face. It is an early example of how inhibition has peeled away over 30+ years. I don't need to lock the door to the bathroom, and she will often say "have fun" as I go off to shower. I, in turn, might reply "sneak in and watch if you want!". I almost always 'save myself' for her, but on holiday a couple of years ago, she asked me to do it in the hotel shower and she had that same lusting look on her face as I spurted my cum in front of her.
I love that!
Great Discussion Question! Since I’ve never been married I’ll stick to the singles questions!
3. Singles, have you ever thought of or tried something in the heat of solo masturbation that you wish to keep buried?
A: Not properly preparing my anus and thinking that using my run of the mill body soap was adequate “lube”. Honestly I don’t vividly remember what led to the moment but I distinctly remember in the heat of a solid masturbation session in the shower stroking my dick and feeling mighty curious about learning how to play with my asshole and how to finger myself deep enough to hit my prostate. I had sometimes rubbed the outside of my hole when I jerked off but at that point I never tried pushing a finger in.
I just tried to push it in and obviously it didn’t work. It was a little too tight, so I took some body soap to “lube” my finger. It definitely “worked” but not without a fun burning sensation in my anus that lasted for at least 30 mins – 1 hour after I went for it 🤣🥲🤣 I’m still funnily enough trying to figure out to how to ever delve into anal solo play.
4. Singles, have you ever thought of or tried something in the heat of solo masturbation that has led you to more positive experiences?
A: I used to severely struggle with death gripping my dick. Which eventually led to only being able to reach orgasm if I effectively squeezed my shaft hard enough to feel something. So after realizing that I began to feel less and less each time I masturbated, I found about death gripping. And after taking a solid week break as was recommended by people on Reddit, I then tried masturbating with lube and an INCREDIBLY LOOSE grip.
And that managed to be one of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had. While I don’t always use lube to masturbate, I cannot stress how much loosening my grip did to help me have more pleasurable masturbation sessions.
I couldn’t help but laugh at your body wash lube experience 😂 May I suggest coconut oil or a nice water based lube for future explorations 😉
As for your grip, you just have to use what works and I think maybe you have that figured out.
For me, I guess it’s a medium grip using the tricot my palm under the head on my most sensitive area.
Of course, there are other ways I’ve found that worked as well 😉
Oh please do laugh because that was truly an eye opening experience for the ages 🤣. I have learned about water based lube but I’ve definitely been interested in learning more about coconut oil.
Yeah it took some time to figure out but I finally got there! It was also because I was often masturbating way too frequently at that time so including the grip, I was more forcing myself to orgasm than I was enjoying my body.
That was helpful to read, because I think I rub my pussy way too hard and am depending on that pressure to reach orgasm. I need to experiment with lighter and varied touches. Thanks for the idea!
That experience with the soap reminds me of a silly clip I saw on YouTube. Apparently another man had a similar experience as you (though not necessarily in a sexual context) and his wife discovered that he created his own silly song that he sang in the shower to remind himself not to do it again! I was able to find it by searching the tag line of the song, "I washed my ass with menthol soap again". It's pretty funny if you want to give it a search!
As a guy who has some substantial experience in enjoying anal pleasure, I strongly second KingdomMan's recommendation of coconut oil! Small-to-medium-sized glass butt plugs pair nicely with it as well.
Well SH, as a matter of personal confession…I have, (on more than one occasion 😬), quite literally rubbed myself raw down there. I didn’t do that intentionally, and the recovery caused me to shake my head a little, but I can’t say that I didn’t have fun 😉
Let me add one final thing about the coconut oil. You will love it, but the cleanup may take a little extra washing. It’s worth it because giving yourself a little more attention back there while you’re still tingly can be…inspirational 😉
I really love these discussion points and reading everyone’s reactions. It’s comforting to see how honestly everyone shares their experiences here.
For me, points 1 and 2 aren’t exclusive; for example, it was both. I once said to Master Joe, in the early days of our passions, “Fill me.”
He took it to heart and did exactly as I asked. He filled every part of me all at once.
Was it uncomfortable, painful, or even humiliating? Yes.
Did I regret it? Absolutely not.
I learned that I don’t like to be completely used all at once. Two holes at a time are enough for me.
love lauren
Speaking of honesty, thank you for sharing that. All of us have limits and having a spouse that understands and respects those limits is key to having a fulfilling sex life.
For me, I love prostate stimulation, but I’m not a switch. There are bigger barriers at play, but I have yet to figure out how in some possible better future to bring that in.
Oh, YES, I guess you know where I'm cumming from! lol…It's a shame we can't share a glass of wine together and discuss our happy, sexy lives! Bet we could go on and on; Just like our husband's … MY Master, Jim!
hope I didn't offend you with my earlier remark Lauren, I was extremely horny at the time..
My Dearest Creamy
I don't think you could offend me. I love your comments and your responses.
Lauren. xxxx
I'm not married, but my only previous relationship plus decades of masturbation have left me with a lot of regrets. I often think of the phrase "it's hard to miss what you've never had", and while I truly loved the woman I was with all those years ago, there's been times I've become so lost in grief that I wished I'd never met her. As for my "solo sessions", I got addicted to porn from the age of 15, and have struggled ever since. 20 years of singleness has turned my mind into a lustful volcano on the brink of erupting; I both pray and curse under my breath, when I see attractive women in the grocery store. In all honesty, I've told God many times, "This isn't fair!I just want this part of my life to be healed, so I don't have to repent anymore! I'm sick of living in pain and fear, wanting to fuck every babe I see but having to say no because I don't want to lose You!" My thoughts and emotions have run the gamut, lusting after people from my past, current friends, Hollywood celebs, and porn performers. So many times I feel like the worst sinner on the planet, and I want to cry myself to sleep at night. Marital speaker Mark Gungor once said "it is very difficult for a sexually frustrated man to worship God", and as one I totally agree.
I’m sorry for your struggles my brother and I wish I knew how to help you, but as a man living in a sexless marriage, I can identify with them all too well. I will pray for you that you find comfort and peace in Jesus and that He would guide you into His desires for your life.
So many responses! Wow! Here are mine:
Once in the heat of the moment I asked for something that I knew was not on her “OK” list. I dropped the request after her negative or very negative response and I wished I’d never asked. The rest of the sex session still went well. We were both highly aroused during shared erotic massages of each other. I never asked for that again.
Also on the massage table during her turn to receive erotic massage I tried rubbing my tip on her nipple as she buzzed her clit with her vibrator. I was pumping my rod as I rubbed my tip all over her breast but especially her nipple. She came 5 times! So now “tip on nip” is something that we frequently do- although usually with me kneeling up beside her on our bed.
Hi LM! I think it speaks highly of your relationship that you could have such an, “Uh Oh,” moment in the middle of sex, have both of you let it go, and continue on. I think a lot of couples would have found that to end very differently.
Your next paragraph just illustrates how personal and tailored sex can become in a monogamous Christian marriage.
Even though it’s not a story, I had fun with the mental image you created there 😉
1. Have you ever done or said something in the heat of the moment with your spouse that you regretted?
A: Usually things don’t go as well when I try too hard. Things go great when I just be myself. I’d say the times I’ve accidentally “ruined” a sexy moment is when I’ve tried too hard to make it “perfect” instead of letting it unfold naturally. Sometimes you don’t need to brush your teeth, wash your face, and put cologne on. To quote the lyric by Tame Impala, “so when it happens, just let it happen…”
2. Have you ever done or said something in the heat of the moment that led to a more fulfilling sex life with your spouse?
A: I know about a month after we married, I tried sort of a modified 69 position on her that she loved, and ever since then, she usually wants me to do it at least once during any given lovemaking session. I remember the first time I did it on her, she liked it so much that I actually wrote down the date and made a note to myself on my phone to do that more often.
3. Singles, have you ever thought of or tried something in the heat of solo masturbation that you wish to keep buried?
A: My single life was pretty tame tbh. Even some of my (relatively speaking) wilder or naughtier things I did as a single man were pretty vanilla, tame, and did not really surprise anyone when I’ve shared those stories with others. So I guess not.
4. Singles, have you ever thought of or tried something in the heat of solo masturbation that has led you to more positive experiences?
A: Autofellatio made me realize how much I wanted to have oral sex with my wife someday. Accidentally grazing my exposed nipple also made me realize how much I enjoy nipple play, both by myself and eventually done by my wife.
Thanks for your comment NS! I’d like to take your responses one by one.
1. I think we’ve all been in a sexual situation where we tried too hard. Sex is messy and it really shouldn’t be “perfect”.
2. You have got to write about that!
3. There’s nothing wrong with tame as long as it makes you happy.
4. Autofellatio!? Seriously!? I’m so jealous. I wish I could do that. (And I have tried 😉)
1. Have you ever done or said something in the heat of the moment with your spouse that you regretted?
A. Yes. I asked, why.
2. Have you ever done or said something in the heat of the moment that led to a more fulfilling sex life with your spouse?
A. No. Heat of the moment has led to a few things happening, at the time. But, nothing lasting, that changed the sex life as a whole. Variety & different things, much more, get met with disapproval, a guilty until proven innocent look, or tone.
That’s unfortunate SCMM, although I can relate.
2. Have you ever done or said something in the heat of the moment that led to a more fulfilling sex life with your spouse?
Spontaneous is the key but that said […]
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