Anyone Practicing “Free Use”?
I just learned about this movement. It’s about allowing one’s partner, at least at certain times, “free use” to initiate sex at any time and be accepted.
Just wondering, are any MH friends doing this? It sounds pretty hot.
We don't do that. I don't need to.
The greatest hindrance to us doing it is what comes of us doing it-children. We just had our fourth so she's must heal before we start. They are all young and constantly in our space. If we run upstairs to do it while they watch tv, then more often than not, one will notice we left the living room and comes beating on our locked door. This totally takes me out of the mood and usually happens when I already inside her. She's better at blocking them out and demands I keep going, which I do, but would appreciate a romp where they are totally out of my mind.
That normally only happens at night when they are all in their beds and I can shut the door to our bedroom to have what I want. I never worry about being shut down. She is usually wanting it and/or seduced into wanting it with a nice massage. If she's not in the mood, then fine. It won't be long before she is. I have no desire to do it with her when she doesn't want to. I never get so turned on as when she is so turned on with a pussy dripping wet with anticipation.
Once she approached me one Sunday afternoon and whispered in my ear, "I'm wet. What are you going to do about it?" I get hard sometimes just thinking of it. The sound of her voice as she succumbs to passion gets me going. She's the vocal one. I'm more of the doer. We fit that way.
I am not perfect but I try to keep it that way by remembering to be polite and respectful, helping out when she needs it with the kids, and just being an ear for her to vent. She, in turn, stays super horny and ready for action most of the time.
If it sounds as if I am bragging, then that is right. I am bragging. I am very proud of my horny wife. I rejoice in her horniness..I cherish her horniness. I love satiating her most carnal and dirtiest desires.
What was your question again? 😂
This is a wonderful fantasy and role-play scenario with lots of delicious variations.
Imagine a Saturday, weekend, or sexy vacation where “No” was off the table.:.
Ha, no way my wife would do that. She has always been pretty limiting with sex and we pretty much only have sex when she wants it.
I worked with a lady for many years, very religous woman. She said they did practice free use and they rarely turned each other down. She said being tired etc. was no excuse for not having sex. Only a true illness etc.
What movement?
We call this normal and expected interaction between a husband and wife. If a couple is not practicing this, something is wrong!
Wait, what? You’re saying that a husband or wife should always be sexually available to their partner, in all relationships, always? That idea doesn’t sit well with me. Sex is supposed to be something that brings delight, and not something that you’re just expected to do. I get the intent of this post, to practice this as a choice, but to suggest that this is the duty of all spouses all the time…..that doesn’t sound right.
So the other option is to refuse I guess?
We don’t see that as a good option at all.
Why wouldn’t spontaneous sex bring delight? It is, and always has been for us.
Why would it be a “do I have to” thing to do?
I think there's some nuance that's being missed here. If I'm understanding correctly, Edge's valid concern is that spouses might understand this as a rule, as a duty, as a burden. Tulsa's valid perspective is that couples should be having sex frequently, not because they're forced to, but because they both desire to.
You guys are both right. Feeling FORCED to have sex all the time is NOT sexy (generally speaking—kinks notwithstanding). And also, GETTING to have sex all the time IS sexy.
This idea of "free use" CAN be destructive if used wrong, but it can also be very beneficial if implemented with the right attitude. The high frequency isn't the source of the potential problem, the attitude and the context of the relationship are. If the state of the relationship unhealthy, and/or sex is an area of contention, then a suggestion of trying "free use" might seem coercive or demanding—not good. But if the relationship is healthy and thriving, it is good for a couple to adopt the mutual "free-use"-like attitude that they will do their best to be willing to have sex at any possible opportunity, as far as is reasonable.
So in short, I think you are both right, and your ideas aren't mutually exclusive. Does that make sense? Any thoughts?
PatientPassion definitely clarified better what I meant. I’m not against the idea of free use. I’m just against the idea of mandating it for all couples everywhere all the time. It feels like that approach removes even the basic idea of consent and just makes sex a chore or a duty. I mean, as a man, I don’t want sex every single time. I want it a lot, but I have moments too where I’m not in the mood or am tired, etc. I can’t imagine being forced to have sex every time my partner is in the mood…that sounds miserable. Unless of course we previously agreed on a free use scenario. I hope what I’m saying is making sense.
I agree, this sounds like what a normal marriage should be like. My marriage is like this
If you mean "free use" with one's spouse, that sounds hot! But doing it with anyone outside the marriage would be adultery. That was what I thought the term meant, but I could be wrong.
We adopted an agreement which I guess you could call "fee use" but I would probably revital it "free use mutual enjoyment"
A number of years back after our own sexual revolution one of the things we talked about was the fact that one of us may feel horny and feel the need for the other and the other would render theirselves to help the other achieve satisfaction.
But the reality is you're not always physically able to do so. Both men and women go through it various issues whether it be feeling ill, or emotionally stressed.
In other words when one of us is feeling the need we approach the other [one] in a romantic way but we're very sensitive to whether or not the other one is actually able to be receptive.
Free use is a somewhat callous way of having sex in other words treating the other person as nothing but a sex toy which is an inanimate object meant for one purpose. We are human beings and we have feelings emotions and sensitivities. For two people who are in a loving relationship this involves sensitivities to one another and their current issues.
Yes there have been many times where one or the other of us has not felt up to it but yet still taking care of the other sexual needs. Via oral or manual sex, while talking them through it in a very sexual way.
In other words, there are ways to work around limitations. But there are also times where they're just has to be the understanding then you'll have to take care of yourself this time.
The two of us have tried well over a hundred different sexual things which have come around. Most of them we find very impractical or not even worth the time of trying them. The things that we have held on to and continued in our repertoire of sex are those things which are mutually satisfactory and fun.
"Free use" and it's rawest form is uncaring and unfeeling.
Lady L.💋
So sorry for the typos.
Once again voice to text not proofread.
But I think you still got the gist of my comment.
Lady L.
My wife and i have played like this before. We were going on a vacation and on the drive we were talking about how we don't get away from the kids often so I suggested we just "jump at the first chance" if sex was desired or there was opportunity. IT WAS AWESOME! While we were still talking about it in the car on the way to the hotel room, she reached over while i was driving and fished out my cock and started fondling and rubbing me. Just teasing me, getting me hard. We had sex 3 times the next day (full to completion sex, three times in one day…not an easy accomplishment for me). First was right when we were waking up, she was still half asleep and I was watching the news and I had morning wood and was naked stroking so I just got back into bed and pulled her ass over to me and started slow penetration. She woke up and we went at it till we both came. Later, I was brushing my teeth after getting out of the shower and as i was bent over brushing my teeth, she came over and started sucking my cock from behind…so freakin hot. I stayed like that, bent over with her mouth licking and sucking my cock between my legs from behind till I was almost cumming and then she hopped up on the sink and I ravaged her there…The last time was after a full day of laying by the pool and then going to dinner, in the dark parking lot of the restaurant, we were holding hands and then suddenly she was groping my cock thru my slacks. In the dark of the parking lot, she sat in the passenger side seat of the car and sucked my cock right there. I was shocked and my head was on a swivel looking for passersby, but it was late and the lot was dark. It was actually a great place for a semi-public fuck fest. She got me right to the edge again, and then popped off, turned around on the chair, pulled her dress up revealing no panties and I took her from behind. So freakin hot. I thoroughly recommend free use play. Works great when you're on a vacation or something where the interruptions are eliminated and your creativity and eroticism can have free reign.
I didn’t think about this at first, but LLL and Tutchh are right. There is a bad side to this term, but in the context of a marriage where there is consent and care, this would be fun over a weekend or something.
K.M.,
You are right and that it is hot. It can happen sometimes in the most risque way in the most risque place when two people are in agreement. And I should say this.
It's men who have to be willing to be used as well. If you have a wife with an active libido believe me sir you better get that thing up and be ready to use it
If not you better be ready to get on your knees and have your face used. Because when a woman agrees to this it goes both ways and you sir might have to have that cock used until it's so sore you can't get it up.
Lady L. 😏♥️❤️🔥🔥
Well Tutchh, you sound like a woman with a active libido. Why don’t you go find M, wear out his cock, and then tell us what happened…😉
We've done a couple versions of this. Kids are all gone so it is easier to accomplish.
One Saturday I woke with "Morning Redwood" and I really want to take her, and I did get her started by sitting on me for about 10 minutes, but she was sitting there making her to-do list. My lovely wife made a deal that we would meet up for 5 minutes of sex at the top of the hour throughout the day. One proviso, no cummimg.
She gave me my choice of position for the first 5 minutes and we would alternate who got to choose what position. I figured I would get things started with a blowjob, since it would take me longer that 5 minutes to cum. By early afternoon we were both getting pretty horny and the doggy style screwing was really testing the "No Cumming" rule. After the first few rounds under garments were jettisoned so we didn't waste time getting access to the goods.
At about 3 o'clock she was riding me for all she was worth and she stopped asking me "How much time is left?", because I kept telling her "1 minute left" even after we had been going at it for about 10 minutes. I pushed myself up into her rather forcefully and she grabbed my cock with her pussy and came all over me. After a minute I flopped her over and got her on all fours and slid my now Sequoia cock into her. Great fun.
Another time on vacation, she brought a deck of cards and she explained the rules to me. We would each draw a card and the high card would get to choose the position for 15 minutes at the top of each hour. Again there was that "No cumming" rule. I kept drawing the high card so she was my sex toy for the first several hours.
We were in a good sized 3 bedroom cabin and we had sex in every room of that place for the next 6 hours. One of my requests was that I got to watch her masturbate herself while I told her what to do. I took some really memorable pictures while I was screwing her to tide me over for when she went back overseas.
One of her requests was that we would get in the shower, with her behind me with a Fleshlight. She reached around and put the Fleshlight in front of me and told me to pretend I was screwing our fictitious fantasy woman, Natalie . She would hang tight to my back and tell me how fast or slow to take her.
The last round occurred on the front porch that was elevated to about the second floor level. It was pretty dark and the other cabins were a ways apart. We were both completely naked and I took her from behind as she held on to the railing while I enjoyed myself and her.
A good time was had by all.
Married man, that is hot! I'd love to do this with my wife. I don't know if I could go that long without cumming though.
It seems to me that all of 1st Corinthians chapter 7 is in support of "free use". Not really a new idea at all.
Seriously, I think we invented it!! Lol
Hey guys. Cal here. And yes. As long as my daughter is at her mother’s, sex is free game anytime anywhere. Cindy loves when I decide to just take her while she’s in the middle of an activity. But it works both ways. If she wants it she gets it too.
I was shocked to see a post about free use, but it’s cool to see it put in monogamous terms. In the world I come from free use is a little more liberal in its definition of who can use. I wouldn’t have called what Cindy and I do free use, but I guess it really is.
Yeah, no. Never been a part of what we do. Abuse issues and bad teaching combined to make my wife hate sex. I mean literally hate it with a passion.
It has only been a few months ago when she said she thinks she does not hate it any more.
Bad things happen to people and it is a sad reality of living in a broken and evil world.
I hope that with time and care she can move from “not hating it” to a place of enjoying the beautiful gift of married sex.
No, not practicing. Wish it were so, but no, not practicing.
I too thought free use was a sin sex term, used in the world, & porn. I've never thought of it in marriage. But, I do agree with those, maybe the minority(?), that say this should be the norm of marriage. Whether it is desire, or duty, God made us sexual. We are meant to have sex. The free use has to be within biblical reason, but we should treat sex like food, because it changes our outlook to more sinful desires if we go without. And, in the grand scheme of things sin is death. I'm thinking, with God, sin & death are a lot worse than not eating food.
I would love free use in my marriage. I think dom/sub to be a variation of it. A man being the leader is another. But, these are from a man's view of just being able to have it whenever the mood strikes. That would be really really cool!
But, biblically, I see mutual free use as perfectly fine, & more close to what God means for sex.
In reality, biblically speaking, God means for us to have sex, when He says our bodies are not ours, but they belong to the other, sexually speaking. This means for pleasure or procreation. Plus, He says have sex, & only stop the practice for a short time, like a fast, to pray, then get back at it! God means this to keep adultery at bay.
We've never used that phrase before, "free use", but I guess our marriage is. Our pastor and his wife did our premarital counseling and one of the chapters was on 1Cor7. It helped me see sex not as an obligation but as a privilege to honor god with our marriage by giving our bodies to each other freely.
There has been times when I wanted sex but hubby didn't, and vice versa. It's not really much effort to manually or orally simulate the other. A few minutes spent giving physically to receive emotional and spiritual love is worth it in my book.
The few times when one of us was sick and the other is horny, I'll curl up next to him or he will hold my breasts while the other masturbates. Having that physical connection there doesn't make it a solo act for us.
That said, there's been many times where my hubby, with a high libido, will initiate when I'm not even thinking about it. If it's a nakey day or if I'm puttering around the house in my nightgown he will sometimes corner me against the couch or kitchen counter. A little bit of patience and coconut oil goes a long way in changing my mind that I don't want sex. I've never regretted letting him convince me.
Sorry for the typos, I can't figure out how to edit a post.
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Not "Free Use" but we agreed very early in our relationship that we would not deny the other. This comes with the understanding that the other would not be forced, embarrassed, humiliated and "No" means "No". In the past 50ish years, we have denied the other probably less than 10 times. It has led to some very erotic situations though.
I recently had an incredible experience with the "free use" concept during a secluded beach getaway with my husband. We agreed to give each other complete access from midnight Friday to midnight Saturday, and the anticipation built as we drove to our cozy cottage. The experience was intense and liberating, allowing us to explore each other's desires without hesitation, which deepened our connection and trust.
From the passionate encounters to the playful moments, every aspect of our weekend was filled with excitement and pleasure. We started with a deep, intimate connection as midnight struck, and continued to explore each other throughout the day, from the beach to the bedroom. The freedom to satisfy every desire created a unique bond between us, one that left us both feeling sated and deeply connected.
I plan to share more details about our experience in a future post, so stay tuned if you're curious about the specifics of our "free use" weekend. It was a thrilling way to spice up our relationship and discover new depths of pleasure and intimacy.
Too often we have routines and times when it becomes less likely to happen. If you remove that and simply have the conversation, for some of us it's necessary so the specter of "I've got an early meeting" doesn't raise it's head. I suggest adding that Free Use implies just that about the entire body, just as long as it's something you've done in the past (I'm on an oral sex drought currently).
Also, it has to be both participating….I'm going to bring this up this weekend!