You Do What You Gotta Do
I’m a mental health (including family and marriage) therapist. I’ve been reading in the background here on MH for some time. I’m also a Christian who thoroughly believes that sex, and sexuality of any form agreed on by two married people, is a beautiful thing, designed by God for our enjoyment and for deeper connections with our spouse.
I also think masturbation is equally fine, as long as it doesn’t involve lusting after someone other than your partner. There’s nothing said about it in scripture, even though the Bible talks about a whole raft of sexual no-no’s.
Like most guys, I noticed that wonderful feeling when I was in my early teens. A friend from school stayed over one night and asked if I’d ever heard of “jerking off”. And right there, masturbation became a regular part of my life.
It’s come in handy (pun intended) after nearly 40 years of marriage. Certain things just don’t work the way they used to, and regular PIV sex is out of the question. Our sex drives and needs also just don’t line up like they used to. Sometimes I’m in the mood, sometimes she is, and it’s not always when we’re together.
We encourage each other to have solo sex when the need hits, and tell each other when we have. Nothing gets me fired up more than hearing that my sweetie was having her own solo sex time. It always makes me horny, and gives me plenty of things to imagine when I’m masturbating on my own.
And of course we have mutual masturbation times together, watching each other, helping each other, and sometimes I’m just breathless as I watch her orgasm over and over again. Her record was 13 in one session together. There’s just nothing more beautiful to me than my sweetie having one huge orgasm after another. And she enjoys watching me, playing with my balls, my perineum, and every so often her fingers will work their way a little bit further back to my anus and just send me over the moon.
And thank the Lord for Viagra! To be in my mix sixties and be able to have an erection like I did when I was 16 is such a gift. I honestly just like admiring my penis when I get fully erect now, and it really helps bring back the fun.
So there you have it. Sex can still be fun, enjoyable, and stimulating at any age. Masturbation has been a wonderful option for both of us, and we’ve still “got it”, even if it just looks a little different.
Sexual Blessings!
I love this! Thank you for sharing! Healing for mental health is near to my heart, because I deal with depression and brain fog from health problems, so I appreciate what you are doing. Masturbation has been a gift for this lady to be sure, and in some ways it's even therapeutic.
nd isn’t it noteworthy how a woman is designed with one certain place that has only one certain purpose? And within such quick and easy reach? And it’s there for just for you! True therapy at hand, anytime you just feel like enhancing the mood!
Does one sometimes “leave clues” for the others?
"There’s nothing said about it in scripture, even though the Bible talks about a whole raft of sexual no-no’s." Actually, there is masturbation in the Song of Solomon. And, it is portrayed positively. (It is mostly the woman, although the man does give her a tit-fuck and a "necklace of pearls".)
———————
"Her record was 13 in one session together." WOW!! Just fucking wow! (The most that I have ever heard of before was seven — both for my woman and me, but not in the same session.)
Hubby and I never had a problem masturbating, either together or alone. We talked about it early in our marriage and agreed that sometimes one person is horney and the other isn't able or doesn't want to so we take care of it ourselves. We both occasionally want our alone time and have no problems sharing when and how with the other. Sometimes when hubby isn't home and I'm horney I'll take care of myself and text him a picture–that usually gets him home pretty quick. I think it's hot when I wake up in the middle of the night to hubby pleasuring himself and I either join in or sometimes just hold the base of his penis while he strokes himself.
Another thing we do mutually is lie on the love seat in the living room facing each other and masturbate ourselves. It's so hot staring into my husband's eyes while he tells me how much he loves me and calls me beautiful as he touches himself and me rubbing or toying myself. When he comes this way he'll point himself towards me and ejaculate on me that usually sends me over the edge again.
I never understood the mental gymnastics my Christian friends have to go through to label masturbating as a sin. When they describe the problem it's not the act itself but usually the lack of communication and openness that they've pinned on the act. I have a few girl friends who I've tried to talk to about this but they are adamant in their position. One I've talked out of and now her and her husband enjoy their alone time.
RHK, this is us, too! We love to masturbate together, alone, helping each other, no touching. We encourage each other to masturbate. Tell each other. Share about how good we felt. We love to see and know each other’s pleasure!!
Us too, we encouraged each other to masturbate! The reason was simple, because my work for a contractor kept me mile from home weeks at a time. We talked about masturbation shortly after we married when I was getting ready to head out of state to start up a new project., which led her to ask what we were going to do with ourselves while we were apart. I told her, ‘Simple. Every night I get to my hotel room, I’ll be beating off like a crazy person!’ That led to a show & tell, and us masturbating together for the first time!
Together, or alone, it’s still a big part of our sex life!
RedHotKaren,
Watching each other masturbate while facing each other is a desire that I had during both marriages, but never got to enjoy.
I am a pastoral counselor….how does your careful listening to your counselees' sexuality affect your own?