Teaching kids about sex
Katie Brown’s recent post has me thinking about how we as parents can raise our kids with a healthy understanding of sexuality.
By: John Haslam
My son is in early elementary school. Several times over the last couple years I’ve observed him laying on his stomach pulsing his hips ever so slightly. My husband has told me that he used to use a similar method to get himself off when he was a young teen, so I always have supposed that my son is getting some prepubescent stimulation from this activity.
I’ve asked my husband to have a conversation with the boy about this behavior. How awkward if he ever did it when others were around! But my husband has never actually had a chance to observe the behavior. So he has never had the conversation. So the other day I finally said something myself.
“Does that feel good?”
“uh hu.”
“So, I have to tell you. It’s good for you to do that when you are alone, or in your bed at night…but it isn’t okay to do that when other people are around.”
“why not?”
“it just isn’t.”
And then we were interrupted by the little sister who wanted to know what we were talking about, so I really had to change the subject.
I don’t think I totally blundered this conversation, but it probably could have been better.
How do we encourage our kids to explore their own sensuality while simultaneously not telling them too much too soon?
And, by the way, when is too soon to talk to kids about sex? I mean, my kids have gotten anatomy books from the library. They know all about how the sperm meets the egg and makes a baby, but we’ve always conveniently left out the part about how the sperm happens to get anywhere near the egg in the first place…and they’ve never asked.
So, I don’t really know what my question is… But I guess I’m just curious to hear how your parents taught you about these things and how you have taught your own kids.
I really want to think this through so I’m ready the next time the need for a conversation arises.
I think part of teaching our kids about sex should also include teaching are kids about how to protect their sexuality. A predator sometimes may exploit a child’s natural curiosity and then guilt a child into not telling anyone (including parents) about what happened. It is important to teach our kids about protecting their private parts. Also it is important that are kids know it also is not appropriate to touch anyone else’s private parts and to tell Mom or Dad if anything occurs. Unfortunately usually abuse occurs from someone a child knows, this can then turn into a “I don’t want to get my “friend” in trouble” kind of feeling. I wonder if any fellow parents out there have recommendations on how to help protect our kids while also teaching them healthy sexuality.
I found a marvelous book at the library for the kids once that talked about the meaning of the word “private.” First it talked about it in the broader sense of the word, but then it narrowed it down to private body parts. It also talked about how some touching makes you feel good….like when daddy gives you a hug….but then it talked about how some touching doesn’t make you feel good. It gave the example of an uncle who tickles too much…, not who actually violated the child, just who made the child feel uncomfortable. The child in the book found out it was okay to tell the uncle to stop because it was her body and she didn’t have to let people touch it if she didn’t want to. The book led to some great discussions with the kids.
I just did a little searching on amazon. I think the book I am referring to is called, “my body is private” by Linda Girard. There are lots of other related books that come up as well…I’m sure there are lots of good ones out there that deal with this subject. I really thought using a book to broach this subject with my kids made it a lot easier.
My oldest son is 7 and he does the same method and I saw him. I simply sat him down explaining the guys “private parts”. Say that he can do that but not in public or around people and that he should be in bed. He seemed to understand but it probably went in one ear and out the other. I think you handled the situation well but its different when your dad is telling you because you two dont the same “private parts” and he might be able to explain it better to him. My wife and I decided that we’ll wait until he’s 10 to talk about sex i mean our son is in elementary school what could happen but he does know how baby come into the mothers baby but not the sex part. But there isn’t a certain age limit on when to talk about sex with your kids its when they need to be talked to about it or when you and your husband feel its best to talk to him about it. Good luck and god bless you and your family
I don’t think there is an age limit to be honest. I believe that the conversation about it is very important. I sort of think when telling a child about sex or masturbating that it shouldn’t be to serious. I mean “serious” in a awkward and uncomfortable way. I think the most important thing is to be Honest Open and Real.
My parents modeled a loving relationship. I always saw the “chemistry” between them. When I was around 11, there was a book called, “Almost 12” that explained stuff. Around that time, my mom let me know that bringing pleasure to myself was good in balance and not lusting after a boy or crush. By the time I was 16, I was masturbating three or four times a week on average. Some days when there was absolutely nothing to do, I admit I would masturbate three or four times that day.
Sexual pleasure is connected to marriage even if enjoyed in my imagination while single. In many ways it was pleasure, thought of in the “setting of potential or future marriage”. Masturbating to God’s idea of marriage while hoping for it for myself, but still enjoying the pleasure of orgasms. Plus I did learn a lot about my body and how wonderful I was created.
Being married is great and takes that pleasure and completes it in a way that solo masturbation does not. Masturbating in marriage is so enjoyable getting me soooo horny for my husband. Yesterday, while my hubby was watching football, I came three times. He knew I was doing this and let me have it at half time. Then again after the game. I have no idea who won the football game by the way.
I appreciate you posting about masturbation during teen years. I believe it is important to get to know your body in a sensual way. My wife and I honeymoon was so enjoyable because she was in tune to her sensuality. I have 3 boys and spoke to each one of them at the age of 12 about their bodies and sensuality.
“Some days when there was absolutely nothing to do, I admit I would masturbate three or four times that day.”
Haha, I’m married and still have days where I masturbate 3 or 4 times a days…sometimes more. 🙂 What can I say? Sometimes I’m really horny and my pussy needs A LOT of attention!! In fact, I just had a day like that last week. Hubby was gone all day and I was really horny so I spent all day playing with myself. I stayed naked for most of the day (why bother getting dressed if you’re just going to be stripping naked soon anyway, right?) and gave my pussy a good work out! I even tried a new technique: I rubbed my pussy against the counter top in the kitchen. It worked! I also straddled the arm of one of the chairs in the living room and rubbed myself on that too. Yowza! Rubbing the corner of our bed got me off as well! Of course, my fingers got the job done many times too! By the time my hubby got home, I was good and ready for his big hard cock…well, first his tongue, then his cock LOL 🙂
Bootylicious,
Can you write some stories about some of those days? That would be a big encouragement to some of us younger women. I don’t know if anyone else does this, but when I cannot sleep, masturbation is the best sleeping pill.
Hey Katie! GG here. I generally masturbate twice a day depending on how the day goes. Like Booty, I too have had jilling marathons. I agree that jilling makes a great sleeping pill. It is really awesome when Ben and I do it together (haven’t done that in a while). I thoroughly enjoy my jilling sessions whether it is a quick shot or long self love session. Just thought I would put my half cent in for what it’s worth. Love your comments! God bless and stay horny my dear!
Katie! GG here again. Yes, sometimes my legs get some what sore and my clit gets really sensitive, but after a couple hours I am good to go and ready for Ben’s dick. Besides, the orgasms are well worth it! If I may ask, do you ever taste your juices? I personally love the taste of my pussy cum. Do you and your husband ever jack and jill together?
Anyway, God bless and stay horny girl!
Thanks to those of you who gave feedback on the question about teaching kids. Your thoughts are very helpful.
Thank you for your suggestion of the book, Eva! Looking it up for my kids!
GG here. Ann, to answer your question, I like my man to cum on me anywhere he likes. On my stomach, my tits, my pubes, my ass or my face (love facials!).
Sometimes, I can’t resist taking him in my mouth and swallowing his load. Hard to let it go to waste! Lol. Kinda horny and hungry at the same time!
God bless and stay horny my friend!