How has MH changed your life?
Hi all, I would like to know how Marriage Heat has changed your life generally (not just your marriage or sex life). Some questions:
How has your view of God changed?
Parenting?
Church involvement?
Self-confidence?
General joy?
Stress?
Life rhythms?
Interaction with wider family or friends?
Work?
Your understanding of gender differences?
Understanding of and relationship with the opposite sex?
Etc
I’d love to know
Wow. What a great question! I could probably write a whole post to answer this question. Haha! Maybe a book! I first discovered MH just over a year ago. And the first post I read was one of Silvers stories. Before MH, I was a kinky person who thought that a healthy sex life was important, but other than my husband, I’d never talked to any other Christians about sex except in very abstract terms. I felt very alone as a kinky Christian. But reading Silvers story that night turned my world upside down. I wasn’t the only one. And if I wasn’t the only one, then there were probably other Christians who felt just as alone on their sexual journey as I did. And because of the sort of person I am, over the last year it has become my life obsession to read everything I can about sexuality, from the conservative Christian, the liberal Christian, and the secular realms. And as I’ve read and learned, my understanding of God and faith, and freedom has been reborn, and today I am at a more exciting place in my faith than I have been in many, many years.
My MH journey has changed how I parent my kids in regard to sexuality. It’s raised the level of importance I place on my own sex life. It’s caused me to seek out opportunities to have conversations with friends and church people about sexuality. It’s led me to take a much bigger, closer look at gender issues and alternate expressions of sexuality. It’s taught me how fundamentally important the Christian understandings of sacrificial love and reconciled relationship are to healthy sexual expression.
Haha! It’s been a very interesting year! Thanks MH! And thanks, Stag, for asking such a great question. I can’t wait to read the other responses!
Eva, that’s so cool that my story was one of your first reads here, glad to have you as a friend! <3 God bless! This site has definitely changed my life in many ways as well.
Thanks Eva, I am dying to hear more. I loved what you said on the ‘nudity in movies’ post. I can’t tell you how keen I am to hear more of what you have discovered. What have been the most helpful books you have read? Exactly how has your understanding of God, faith, gender, freedom, sexual expression changed? How do you place a greater priority on your own sex life? What has the result been when discussing this with friends?
I am very keen to learn more from you and anyone else
Stag- Books I’ve read this year that I think Christians in our generation need to contend with? Washed and Waiting by Wesley Hill, Torn by Justin Lee. Damaged Goods by Dianna Anderson, and Sex at Dawn by Ryan and Jetha. I’ve listed them in order of unorthodoxy, so start with Washed and Waiting if you want something tame. Sex at Dawn is the only secular book on the list, but I think it is going to dynamically shape the next generation (even though plenty of secular folk have their own issues with it) and I think Christian leaders need to actually read it before decrying the heresy. These books, paired with HH’s radical use of the love commandment in his masturbation post have made me ask a whole lot of questions about our traditional assumptions about sexuality. I wouldn’t say I’m at a place where I am confident of what the answers are, but I’m certainly fascinated by the questions!
There’s also a blog I’ve been especially intrigued by called “A Queer Calling” that deserves a look or two.
Seeing those books/website will answer the first couple questions you asked me. I will probably write a post sometime to talk about how MH has changed the priority I put on my own sex life. So look for that if you are interested.
As for talking to people….I’m still learning how to do this. But in my limited experience so far I’m finding in general that Christian people are relieved and intrigued when I bring up the topic, as long as I do it in a way that is professional and informed. But folks are hesitant to share or talk much on their own. If I can rephrase it so it’s about their friends, their children, or the need for better sex Ed, they are more likely to be able to engage in the conversation.
Thanks Eva. I will definitely pursue these leads.
I’d be wary of Sex at Dawn—there’s a lot of push-back in the scientific community about the validity of his findings. Feel free to read it, but do so with the understanding that it may turn out to be wrong.
Thanks for the tip
Yes, and just for the record, I agree with PL about this. It’s one of those books that is so radical that regardless of whether it ends up being true or false or somewhere in between, it does need to be read cautiously and thoughtfully. But it is shaking up the culture and regardless of its validity, I think christians need to start thinking about it. Emily Nagoski is my favorite scientific sex blogger to read…here’s a link to her fairly scathing review….http://www.thedirtynormal.com/blog/2013/02/22/book-review-sex-at-dawn/
I’ve said once before I was honestly searching for married erotica because I was tired of all the other erotica out there. This site has helped me cull my addiction with porn and has also really increased my sex life with my wife. We were already rabbits in heat but it’s helped increase her confidence and I’ve been able to be more open about my sexual taste and we’ve gotten crazier in bed because both of us trust each other a lot more sexually.
But it’s also given me a chance to explore my writing skills. I’ve always been an author and when I was in high school I wrote a short about a couple losing their virginity. I was still a virgin at the time and the praise I got for being a virgin but writing such a sensual first time piece made me proud. But I didn’t know what to do with it because I didn’t know at the time erotica was really a thing, plus I was 16. So getting the chance to write real life stories about what happens in the bed room with me and my wife allows me to keep using those juices. But at the same time it also gives me a chance to brag, guys like to brag but at least here it’s a safe environment that allows other people to explore more in their marriage as well.
Plus it was the first place I felt like myself. Even from a young age I was able to see how God is everything in sex and how the church has burned that so much that they’re scratching their heads when they hear that so many Christians consider themselves “sexual atheist.” I never knew SoS was a erotic book within itself and I’m praying and hoping that this website grows and grows and keeps telling others that God created sex and he doesn’t want to cull sexual fun, he just wants us to do it in a way that opens us up to his glory. It may sound weird but sometimes when my wife and I are finished I can just feel his presence just showing over us and telling us he loves us and that this is one of his many gifts for us and that each and every time it’s only going to get better and better.
But that’s just what it’s done for me. Not sure for everyone else 🙂
MH has taught me that in many Christian marriages, sex isn’t dead, it’s alive and on FIRE! Pleasure for both spouses is such a great focus in the stories and blogs on here. This site disproves many a stereotypical belief about us Christians married couples in today’s society. It also has taught me that married couples are all different in their tastes and styles of passion, highlighting just how unique every marriage’s sex life is. No couple is alike here and that’s a wonderful thing to me! MH has changed my life because it has taught me the NEED for talk about healthy sexuality to those around me. There is all to be enjoyed and nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to having a great sex life with your spouse. MH has displayed people from ALL walks of life, those young couples on their honeymoon to couples married for decades. These people I speak of are all part of this wonderful body of contributors. So thank you those who have commented, shared, asked, and blogged on this site! God bless you all!
I personally don’t feel MH has necessarily changed our lives as much as it has enhanced it. I believe Ben and I are still the same as far as what we believe and how we act as a Christian couple.
I believe MH has destroyed the myth that Christian couples and monogamy are boring, like Blondie mentioned. We have shown that we are not ” quiet, lights off, missionary position only” lovers.
We love oral sex, masturbation and even a little kink (Silver!). MH has given us a place to share our fantasies, our sex tips and a place to learn and enhance our marriage as a whole, not just our sex life.
I think is these reasons that make MH so special to Ben and I as well as others. Lovinghusband, Silver, Eva, Passionate for Christ, Blondie, hornyhubby and all the other contributors are the true heartbeat of this wonderful site.
I am so grateful to all of you for the inspiration ( the wet panties! Lol) and the knowledge each contributor share in every story or comment. I can honestly say that I have learned a lot from all of you . This is a tight knit community. A family if you will. Being an “old” member of the ” Horny Wives Club”, I can say from the heart that Ben and I are proud to be a part of the MH family.
Thanks to Blondie, the MH team and all of the ” heartbeats” out there. God bless each of you and always stay horny!
Loves;
Ben and GG
? (Don’t know if the smiley will show correctly but it’s a smooch smiley for your lovely heart) Thank you! <3
Have a blessed Sunday everyone, soaking in the all-encompassing presence of our dear God, refreshing ourselves in the immeasurable love of our precious Savior!
TW- I would love to see you submit something. Even if it isn’t a story, maybe something in the advice section. Personally, I’d be really interested in hearing more about how you are dealing with your sexless marriage. I have a feeling there are more than a couple people on there who would appreciate hearing how you have coped with your situation and why you have chosen to stay faithful despite it. So often on this site we make it sound like we all have the perfect sexy marriages….but, obviously, that isn’t true. I think your story could be really valuable in showing the flip side. Just my two cents. 🙂
Eva, I so appreciate your comments. This one was so profound:
“I have a feeling there are more than a couple people on there who would appreciate hearing how you have coped with your situation and why you have chosen to stay faithful despite it. So often on this site we make it sound like we all have the perfect sexy marriages….but, obviously, that isn’t true.”
I have not been too busy to do quick checks on MH in recent times – but have been too busy to really ponder and write. Your quote above touches on something I’ve thought about a lot. I’ve tried to give hints in my writings that my wife and I have trials just like everyone else. Yet, when I stand back from what I write – it mostly focuses on the mountain tops and not the valleys. I do want to write some more in that aspect. I won’t do it now – but I thank you for your succinct comment to TW. I know this, God’s grace has been sufficient to help us through the valleys! God bless you Eva. LH
TW, I think you are aptly named! Your comments hit me to the core in a way that is so beneficial. I agree that it is all rosy – but the roses so overwhelm the sporadic weeds that in the end – the roses seem to dominate. Yet, I think it would be misleading in a harmful way if we wrote like our lives were always rosy! I like your right balance. I’m glad MH helps you cope with difficult times. I know that I am just one of many who want to be a support to you brother! I’m with you about who I am at my core. God made me horny – and I am glad that He gave me a wife who loves sex, too. Yet, I am still hornier than her (in my humble, horny opinion). Anyway, TW – I always like the things you write. God bless you and your family. LH
MH is made up of people that have become significant to me! That being true – it thus has influence on my life and thinking. I’ve never met a single person in the flesh – yet, by this wonderful medium, we have met. I’m not a big internet guy. I don’t write a lot on Facebook. I say this because MH jumped into my life 2 years ago this month and it has become a unique and meaningful experience. It would not be if Christ had no presence here. It would not be if the Word of God had little or no authority. MH is part of my life because it has uniquely brought like-minded Christians together in a forum that promotes sexuality with biblical norms. I come back to my first statement – it is the real people of this MH community that are instruments of change in me. Some things (changes) I am aware of – some I’m probably not even aware of yet. I don’t have time right now (as my wife is almost coming to bed!!) to list the litany of names that I have been so blessed by here. All I want to say to you all – my friends, brothers and sisters in Christ – I am so glad to be part of this special group. God’s love and mercy in Christ is the foundation of our lives. The sex is such a wonderful gift – and it is more than just whipped cream and cherries – but it is never to be mistaken for THE bedrock of our lives. Let’s keep walking down this wonderful road together – encouraging each other in our faith, persevering through trials, and enjoying the regular oasis in the midst of our lives – wonderful loving sex with our spouses! I can’t imagine what the dreams of the founders of MH were – but I bet the Lord has surpassed them already. I’m glad to be part of this dream that isn’t a dream – but a wonderful reality with Christ at the helm. God bless you all. You are the MH agents of change in my life and marriage in more ways than you know. God is using us all – let’s keep aiming high and for His glory. Your friend, brother, and student, LH.
I know I haven’t posted on MH that much, but I am finally beginning to understand the freedom that comes through letting go and getting in touch with my inner sex kitten. I’m certainly not there yet, but with my husband (hornyhubby) and this sites encouragement I know I will get there. He introduced it to me about a year ago, but I have been fighting it with good girls don’t do this type of thing and going back and forth with thoughts of is this okay is it not okay with different sexual things, sex language, etc. My husband has been so patient with me and communicating what he has learned on this site. And I hope I am finally getting it. ? I am definitely starting my daughter on the right path so that she doesn’t have to deal with feeling guilty for masterbating, feeling sexual, etc. I finally feel that this feeling of sexual freedom and having a fantastic love life is what God wants for us. I’m looking forward to being a family with each of you. Thank you MH for expressing your hearts with us.
So you’re Mrs. HornyHubby? That’s great! Welcome to MH, sexymama!!
So nice to hear from you sexymama. I want to give you a compliment. Your husband is a great encouragement to others on this site. I have been blessed by many of his insights. How is that a compliment? You (as his wife) are a huge part of the work that God does in and through him to others. I also want you to know that my wife (though she is a roaring sex kitten) is definitely on the shyer side of personally being involved with MH. She loves the encouragement that I get – yet is not so desirous to be on MH. Maybe someday – but she is a busy mom who is not yet found much time to explore here. I sure you and HH have much communication – as my wife and I do. Anyway, I wanted you to know that there are other people on MH who have spouses more involved in learning from here – without the other spouse being as involved. I am so glad for the Lord’s patiently showing you the sexual freedoms you have. I respect your carefulness – in fact, stay careful – while growing to enjoy the greater sexual oneness you have in Christ with your awesome “Hubby”. God bless you and your family. So nice to hear from you. LH
Sexy mama….haha! So good to finally meet you! And so glad to hear that you are finding freedom. I hope we get to hear more from you soon. 🙂
Lovely to meet you, sexymama2103, welcome and God bless you, dearie! 😀
Sexymama, as a husband who’s wife has not embraced MH, I can tell you that you cannot imagine how much your presence on MH and your sharing of it with your husband must mean to him. I really wish my wife would enjoy reading these stories with me so that we could tear down the inhibitions and shame that prevent her from embracing her truly sexual side and bringing it out into the open with me. I have a beautiful wife whom I will love forever, but I admit a longing for her to share the thrills and lessons of MH with me and with all of you.
Thanks so much everyone for these comments. I’m hoping MH will become a key part of my life from now on. I must confess to being a little nervous (as well as excited). As a pastor I know that satan can be so subtle… and I’m nervous about MH leading me in some wrong direction. On the other hand, MH has the potential for me to integrate 2 parts of myself that have kind of co-existed in an uneasy truce – ie. my faith and my sex drive. My prayer is – ‘Please God may MH be of you ‘cos I absolutely love it so far.’
I love every syllable you wrote Stag! Awesome prayer for us all! God bless you brother! LH
I don’t think you are alone in your fears or your hopes. I know that I for one have frequently felt the same way. I keep coming back, though. And it isn’t for the stories. Though, the stories are fun! No, I keep coming back because of the phrase “in spirit and in truth.” And I know in scripture that phrase refers to how we are to stand before God in prayer. But I think it can also apply to how a community of believers is to stand before God together. And I think this community of believers does that in a way that I haven’t seen in many other places. Here one place where I feel like I can be my true self in front of other Christians. Here is one place I can talk about my deepest rawest desires and not be judged. Here is one place I can sort out my inner life in a way I’ve not felt permitted to do in most other Christian contexts I’ve been a part of.
And I think that’s what God wants for us. I think that’s the kind of community he designed us for. A “spirit and truth community.” So that’s why I stay.
Plus I stay just because I want to be part of this crazy experiment. I want to see where it leads us.
I hope you stay too.
Great thoughts Eva – This is a fun experiment! 🙂 I don’t know of any other place where we can talk about our deepest raw desires like we can in the Christian context – like we can at MH. Amen! LH
Amen to everything you said. I love the stories, but I actually visit for the comment sections and the wonderful and helpful interaction we all have here.
Eva, I feel the same way you do! (Have you noticed you and I think a lot alike? LOL!)
Like you I enjoy the stories, but I enjoy the community as well. I love being able to interact with each other and bounce ideas off each other and get advice and encouragement, etc. And like you, I also feel this is a place where I can be myself and talk about anything with no fear. I love that we have a place to talk specifically about sexual issues in a completely open and direct way with other believers. Before Marriage Heat, the church really had no place to do that. Sure sometimes women could talk among themselves and men could talk among themselves. And they have conferences and sometimes a class at church. But usually it’s a lecture format, not a discussion. And usually they separate the men from the women. I get why they do that, but I have enjoyed getting feedback from both men and women on various issues. And I’ve benefited greatly from getting the men’s AND women’s point of view on things. And not just on questions, but even the stories. Seeing women comment on a story and say, “That was hot! Made me wet!” is a great encouragement to me. Especially if it was one of my stories! LOL! I think it has encouraged me because A) it shows that women like the same things as us guys (somewhere I picked up that women mainly want emotional connection and not sex. But I’ve seen here that women do want the emotional, but sometimes women can be just as horny as a guy!) B) it has encouraged me that no matter where me and my wife are, we can continue to grow and improve. And we have! And having her see other women’s stories and comments has also helped her.
I really feel that this type of community is what the church really is all about. I’ve thought before that Marriage Heat is like a church all in itself! An online church that mainly talks about sex, but a church nonetheless! Because it is the community, the body of Christ, the ekklessia, the sharing and working through these issues together and learning from each other’s examples and even each other’s mistakes. THAT is what the church is.
I truly feel that everyone on here is my brother or sister and I truly love you all. I have enjoyed developing my relationship with you. And due to the nature of this we will probably never meet in person (until Heaven, that is. I always imagine that what if some of us really do know others in real life but we don’t know it. Then we get to Heaven and go, “Oh that was YOU?” LOL!) We’ll just have to have a Marriage Heat reunion when we get to Heaven. LOL! But if we did meet in person I would give each of you a big hug. So I’m sending you all a mental/online hug. And I want to say thank you for being a part of my life and I look forward to continuing to develop our relationship in this very special and unique version of our “church.”
Great question. Like Eva I too could write an entire post about this! LOL! So I will try to give the highlights instead…
1. Mostly this site has validated me. I enjoyed writing erotic stories but I always felt like I was wrong for doing that and for liking erotic stories. Then I found this site and it validated my interest in writing and reading erotic stories. It also validated that I wasn’t the only one who liked certain things. I felt like I was a pervert for liking certain scenarios. But on here every possible scenario is represented so I know I’m not the only one! And that has lifted a burden for me.
2. Having that burden lifted has allowed me to see sexuality in a positive light. Before it was shame based and something that was considered “naughty.” And I don’t mean a kinky naughty, but rather a “God is watching you so you better not” naughty. But after reading the stories on here, I see that I’m not the only one. I remember thinking, “So there are other Christians who like to talk dirty during sex? That tells me that maybe it isn’t wrong.” And that has also validated my interest in these things.
3. And then it allowed me to see God in a new light. It has allowed me to realize that maybe God isn’t quite the “stick in the mud” that he is sometimes portrayed as being. But rather he is very pro-sex and pro-fun in sex. (within marriage of course.) But I started to realize that God isn’t watching us do sexual things and shaking his head in disgust. Rather, he is watching and cheering us on! And that has brought freedom to our bedroom but also to our walk with God. And that has spilled over into other “non sexual” areas of life too. I see that God gives us a great deal more freedom than we originally thought.
4. This has lifted that feeling of shame I had for liking erotica and shame from past sexual mistakes. For instance, I always felt shame for masturbating. Then shame for masturbating even though I had shame. So the shame just piled on. And it affected my walk with God. But seeing that God doesn’t hold that shame against me has helped me to feel freedom from the shame. Then it spilled over into other areas and helped me to not feel shame for non sexual mistakes I’ve made. So it has and continues to have a healing affect on me in removing the shame. I can’t say it’s completely gone yet, but it’s better than it was.
5. This has all culminated in more fun in the bedroom for me and my wife. And we take that fun with us outside the bedroom too. We text each other more during the day and we text more erotic stuff to each other now. And we enjoy dirty talk pretty much every time now. And that’s something I always wanted to have but we could never do that because we both thought it was “wrong.” So this site has helped us to relax and enjoy our sex life more.
Thanks HH – I would love to see you (when time permits) give a fuller testimony of how you went from shame to freedom – for example with masturbation. I think it would bring even greater encouragement for people to see how you specifically went from point A to point B – and how the Scriptures guided you. I have experienced the same validation you spoke of. I don’t know how naughty I felt in the past – but knowing that many other Christians are into the same sexual practices as my wife and I enjoy is very encouraging. At some point in my distant past – I did wonder if other Christian couples were as interested in things like messy sex, anal oral play, or positions like doggy. MH has given us new ideas – but even more it has let us know that there are many other Bible believing Christians who love the same kind of eroticism as we do. Validation indeed. But, I hasten to add, that none of that validation would be meaningful apart from knowing the sexual freedoms we have from the Bible itself.
I think many Christians know they marriage bed is undefiled (Heb 13) – but still think that just means that silently doing some missionary position sex is what is approved. It has been in the last 15 years that I’ve read good biblical commentary that has helped me to see what Song of Songs and some Proverbs said. Marriage Heat has come from that kind of blblical foundation that gives the greatest validation. Then, to hear testimonies by many – like your dear wife yesterday – it is so awesome. God bless you two! LH
Thanks everyone, great words! I’m excited to keep journeying together.
Although my wife has not joined me in MH, MH has changed my attitude towards our relationship. The last two nights, and again tonight, my wife and I plan on keeping the TV turned off, and each other turned on. Over the past two nights we have spent probably 90 minutes each evening giving each other nude massages, having naked discussions, and making love. The connection has been intense and we have not missed the outside world one bit. Another added benefit is that we have both gone to sleep early and slept like rocks as we are bathing in the aftermath of post-orgasm chemical releases. I am sure that there is nothing more healthy for a couple of married people than turning off the TV and the joy of good old fashioned married fucking. Why would anyone need TV when God’s ultimate entertainment is ready and waiting for you to share together?
I haven’t been married long enough, nor have I been a member of MH long enough to say it has changed my life in anyway.
I will say however that MH is on the right path to change how people look at monogamy and marital sex. It is so awesome to see good Christian couples and singles accepting and enjoying their sexuality. Not to mention having the courage to share their love and sexiness with others.
Awesome job MH! Blondie and the rest, thank you all, keep on spreading the awesomeness of monogamy and marital heat. God bless you all.
Marriage heat has certainly given me great ideas and inspiration , so good to know that there are similiar Christians out there! In response to Happy Husband , I have noticed a deeper intimacy and connection with limited TV time ! Definitly would recommend for others to try it also!
Thanks so much to the marriage heat team and all the work they do
Wow!!! All these comments are amazing! I’ve been up all night reading them! I love all of you so much. There are too many to name you all but I pray for you individually (and couples) weekly and think of you often! MH as a whole has completely changed my view of myself and of a godly marriage! I was molested at a young age and my father had an affair so the entire idea of sex was terrifying and dirty. I knew it shouldn’t be but i didnt know how to leave that mindset. God used Marriage Heat to “clear out the cobwebs” and truly beautify married sex for me! And, to top it off, i am getting so much encouragement and good advice from all of you, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ! Its like a little taste of Heaven before we get there!! Thank you all….please keep sharing your lives with other followers of Christ!! And thank you so very much to the administration! May God bless you for all your work for the Kingdom!
Marriage Heat has helped me get through a difficult time. My wife and I have pretty much had a constant problem for the entirety of our marriage that has led to us not having sex for the past year, having it very infrequently prior to that, and never having it work normally (case in point: she has never had an orgasm). We’re starting counseling this week, but Marriage Heat has helped me for the past year to remember that it CAN be better and there IS something to look forward to. Reading about couples who do love each other and make a connection through sex not only keeps me hopeful of what will hopefully happen to us soon but also helps me fight temptation. Keep writing!
I’ll pray for you tonight
MH has in a big way through enabling us to communicate. My husband was married before and for someone who has been more sexually active than I; he is pretty conservative. We have an axtive sex life but I believe its with little imagination. I have a very wild imagination and very well read but have to keep in low check in defference to my husband who believes I have no notion of sexual acts (we are from the South Pacific and believe me sex is a taboo subject. Virginity is held in high regard and women are expected to be demure n pure.)
I had become so frustrated with out sex life because my hubby thinks that he is inadequate if I play with clit while we having intercourse or when I masturbate straight after intercourse… it had led to me masturbating in secret to get me off the edge until we are together.
However, I stumbled across MH by accident and the openess amongst the couples have inspired me to honestly communicate with my husband.
I have managed to make him see that I play so many roles such as, Im his whorw in the bedroom, supportive and a saint ? (im not) outside of our bedroom. For thw first time I manage to enjoy giving him a blow job without looking at it as a "mere act of duty". I've experimented with swallowing his cum and am learning to love it (my husband said that it is hot!). I'm a squirter when I come and he has now sometimes swallow my come when he eats.
We move beyond our sexual boundary constantly enhancing our sexual horizon. Because we are verbally communicating about our sex life, we are able to communicate better in our financial planning etc.
Im not saying everything is harmonious; oh no. We do disagree once in a while but MH have helped me deal with it in a healthy way.
The sex in the stories are hot and very explicit. But what comes out of these stories is the care, appreciation, communication, trust, honesty and love. Thats what MH is all about.
LT – I love every word you wrote here. How encouraging. Not perfection – but a great direction you both are heading. I love hearing people like you saying how you have been freed to enjoy sex in the light of God's design. Keep going you two! Please write more about how far you two have come. Your words here encourage us all – for we are all works in progress. God bless you! LH