In a marriage, a man should have a sexual desire for his wife. It is a vital ingredient to keep the marriage strong and happy. Over the years that Tanya and I have been married, I have given much thought to the nature of the desire I have for Tanya. Unfortunately, I am no poet, and someone else will need to write the song. But I know what sparks my desire for her, what sustains it, and what builds it to a spectacular, passionate climax. Better yet, Tanya also knows.

Tonight there were multiple factors at work. It had been several nights since we last made love, and we had just watched a cute, romantic movie. Tanya was in a sweet, affectionate mood. She was also wearing her light-pink leggings. I try to look reasonably pleasing for Tanya, even when I am lounging around the house, and we both believe that it is also important for Tanya to look attractive to me. Attractive in both senses: in the sense of looking pretty and in the sense of sexual attraction. If in a healthy marriage a man should find his wife sexy, then she should not be shy about looking sexy.

Well, I certainly think Tanya looks very sexy in leggings. Being a leg man, and having a high degree of appreciation for the female derriere, I thoroughly enjoy watching her in this outfit. Leggings reveal every delicate curve in her figure. But there is also an added benefit: panylines!

Yes, a small thing, to be sure. I doubt whether a pinup will ever feature pantylines on a model wearing tight slacks. But I find little things like this to be immensely exciting, made even more so, perhaps, by their totally unostentatious nature in a completely casual setting. They start the male imagination working, and they stir the desires.

Pantylines definitely start my male imagination working. I have always found panties to be the sexiest part of women’s lingerie. “Real” panties, that is. I have never thought bikinis were very sexy, much less those ridiculous thongs. Panties should conform to the natural curves of the body, hugging and accentuating those mathematically convex surfaces between waist and thigh. So Tanya always wears the full-cut variety.

Tonight the effects were especially alluring. The material in her leggings was light and so was the color. Therefore, as Tanya walked around, I could see the entire outline of her panties–and when she bent over, even a silhouette of the floral pattern on the pair she was wearing this evening.

Understandably, then, I was now in a pretty romantic mood, and I found my desire for Tanya building. After the movie ended, we shut off the TV. Then followed the usual routines of letting the dogs out for the last time, brushing teeth, and turning out lights throughout the house.

Tanya normally sleeps in an oversized tee shirt that covers just, though not quite always, the essentials. She already had her nightshirt on and was sitting on the edge of the bed as I came in from the bahtroom. I quickly got onto the bed on top of the bedcovers, massaged her shoulders for a few seconds, and then gently laid her down. Tanya was on her back and I snuggled up beside her. Cradling her head with one hand, I began to caress her thighs with the other. She turned her head toward me, and we kissed softly. I brought my hand slowly under her nightshirt, first touching just the leg band of her panties, tracing it as it disappeared in front, then drawing my hand upward to gently embrace their full expanse as she lay there. I enjoyed the stimulating sensation of that silky material on my hand. Tanya closed her eyes and leaned her head back slightly. I moved my hand slowly upward again and began caressing her breasts. At this point she reached up and wrapped her hand tenderly around the back of my neck. Drawing me to her, she gave me a short, sweet kiss.

As the kiss ended, Tanya gently touched my face and said, “You sure seem to be in a romantic mood tonight.”

I brushed her hair back behind her ears and returned the kiss. “Yeah, I’m ready for some mad, passionate love-making.”

She laid her hand on the side of my face and then ran her fingers through my hair around the back of my head. “No, not tonight. We’ll just snuggle here in bed. Come on,” she said soothingly, “let’s get under the covers.”

Her nightshirt was still askew, and Tanya had drawn her foot up, raising one knee. I looked down at her panties. Yes, I wanted her, but it would not be tonight. A familiar excitement swept over me.

I smiled and got up to pull the bedcovers down. Tanya did the same. Naturally, I had a strong erection at this point, and when I stood up, this was very apparent. I reached into my shorts and forced everything back into place. Since I do not wear boxers, everything stayed in place, although with some strain on the material. Tanya, still standing beside the bed, was watching all this out of the corner of her eye, her head tilted slightly, and evidently quite amused. With a small coquettish smile on her lips, she briefly flipped up the back of her nightshirt and bent over just slightly to give me a quick flash of panties. Then she got into bed, and I quickly joined her. I was on my back and wrapped my arm around her as she laid her head on my shoulder and her hand on my chest. I was smiling at her antics, and soon we were asleep.

It is not unusual for Tanya to say no. We have come up with some strategies that have really added a lot of fun to our sex life. In fact, Tanya has developed a whole philosophy with regard to the issues of “when” and “how often.” Maybe it would not work for every couple–we certainly are no marriage experts! But here is how it came about.

For the first few years of our marriage, we pretty much operated on the principle that Tanya would give me sex every time I wanted it. If there were any rare exceptions, I cannot remember them. But this eventually had an effect on our sex life that is difficult to put into words. I am a man of routine and pattern in the way I function, and so our sex life slowly began to follow a predictable pattern. Somehow this seemed to reduce the excitement.

Then about a year ago Tanya read this article, “How to Say No in a Sexy Way,” in one of those women’s magazines. That prompted her to look into the whole matter in more detail, and she read several books on sex and marriage that dealt with this issue. One day she explained her new strategy to me.

We had been relaxing in the living room that evening. I was reading an Agatha Christie mystery, and Tanya was staring into space with a decidedly contemplative expression on her face. Then out of the blue she said, “You know, I think we need to do something to spice up our sex life.”

Now that was a rather startling statement to say the least! She focused her pretty eyes on me and flashed one of her cute, coy smiles.

“What do you mean?” I really was somewhat dumbfounded.

“Haven’t you noticed that it’s become too routine, too predictable? There’s no mystery to it any more, no surprises. I’ve been doing some reading about this. Mystery and surprises are important. They keep sex exciting.

“Now just picture this…” Tanya leaned forward and used the appropriate hand gesture that indicates a forthcoming conjecture worthy of serious consideration. Her eyes twinkled mischievously as she looked at me and spoke slowly:

“If a wife sometimes said…no…well, she could add some real pizzazz, keep the mystery alive, and make herself more alluring, more desirable.”

Then with her best flirty demeanor, she continued, “It would have other benefits as well. I could always feel free to wear the kind of sexy underwear that you like so much. I wouldn’t have to worry about putting ideas in your head when I might not be in the mood. And I could be very affectionate every day.” Tanya emphasized the word very. “These things are all real important to a marriage, you know. A lot of books emphasize the importance of daily affection, holding hands, snuggling, and being sexually appealing.”

Tanya had obviously planned what she would say ahead of time, but it was a lot for me to digest all at once. However, the thought that Tanya might on occasion say no was curiously exciting, and the points she made seemed to make sense.

I looked up at Tanya. She was literally sitting on the edge of her seat watching me intently. Her eyes showed eagerness, anticipation. She was obviously very excited about this idea and really wanted to try it.

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