Weather and Attitude Changes

This one took a few months for me to pull off in the end, but it was worth it.  Though it took months to accomplish it actually took most of our marriage for me to prepare for it.

A bit of background first.  Throughout our dating and married life I have been overweight to some degree. Early on it was just a few pounds, but do to various issues, some beyond my control and related to my underlying health, I put on a lot of extra weight. That situation has led to me to become a bit reticent when it came to wearing skimpy or tight fitting clothes, even if they were just for my husband at home.  I would wear lingerie some, but I never liked myself in it.   I felt fat and the thin / clingy material just showed my flaws off more then I liked.

My husband never complained about my weight and he always supported me in my various starts and stops toward weight loss, including regaining weight a few times.  When I am willing, he always wants to make love to me, even when I didn’t think I am sexy or appealing.  I guess that is a good thing, but at times it has created a problem.

My weight has caused me to want to shun sex at various times during out marriage.  My husband wanted sex, but I didn’t because I didn’t think I was appealing.  This of course led to him rushing a bit when we did have sex because he had so much stored up drive. Though I always have multiple orgasms when we have sex there was not as much foreplay and build up as I wanted.  It seemed that it is just a few minutes of warm up and bam here we are going to town.  Those times always left me feeling like it was just sex and no romance, thus left me wanting sex even less.  My husband tried to understand that, but my lack of interest in sex at times frustrated him I know.

This cycle of interest, followed by un-interest, occurred a few different times during our marriage.  He was always patient enough to let me come back around in my head where I like myself again without pushing so much, though we did argue about it a few times when the gaps were long.

Now back to the present and the change I did – including how I surprised him with it.

I decided I was tired of letting my weight limit me and I was tired of it impacting my mental view of myself which carried into my marriage.  About eight months before the big change I decided to lose some weight and keep it off.  It took me months to lose the weight, but over time I did and have.

As I  lost weight I got rid of some of my old clothes and got into new sizes.   Each time I did this, I felt a bit better and not just because of the lost weight, which gave me more energy, but because I was achieving goals.  Even as I lost weight and bought new clothes I still avoided clothing that actually fit my body.

Understand I do not mean inappropriately fitting my body or revealing my body, but just fitting me and actually being the right size.

Regardless of my size I continued to wear loose, ill fitted clothing. Even my very attentive husband did not realize that I could actually wear a size or two smaller then I was buying.   My avoidance of skimpiness was so extreme that it typically overflowed even to my underwear.  I always tended to go for full coverage cotton bras and panties.  I did own some very sexy underwear, and I did wear it occasionally, but it had always been the exception instead of the rule.  Due to my husbands prompting I have been wearing thongs / g-string beneath my clothes on weekends a bit more then a year or so. For the last two years, even with my extra weight, I do always wear a thong or g-string beneath my jeans because I like the feel.

Once the weather got warm, and my weight was where I should have been years ago, I decided it was time for a change in the majority of my clothing.  This change was going to be permanent too. To mark the big change I decided I wanted to do something special and decided to surprise my husband with it.

Two weeks before the big day I did a bit of online shopping and ordered myself the first really sexy bikini I have ever owned in my life. I was determined to get the size that would actually fit me, not the size that I typically buy.  I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the sexy bikini I picked out only came in one size as the top tied in the back and behind the neck and on both sides of the bottom.  The great thing about it, is also, if I lose a few more pounds, or put a few back on – but only a few, I could still wear the same bikini.  I like a good deal if you could not tell.

Let me tell you to call this a bikini is probably an overstatement.  The top is really two small patches of cloth with some strings holding it all together that just ties behind my neck and back.  The bottom has just a small triangle patch in the front and a string forming a Y that goes between my legs, between my butt checks, over my legs and ties on the sides.   Due to my morals, I would never wear this out, or in public, but it definitely was going to achieve my goal of jump starting my view of myself and getting our love life back in gear. I knew my husband would like me in it around the house and if we were in remote places (beaches, cabins, mountains, etc) alone I knew he would like me in it too.

Fortunately I got home before my husband so I got the package and put it in my closet before he got home.  A few days later when he had a late meeting I tried it on and I was SHOCKED just how little it covered, but I also knew that this was the start of A LOT of fun.

Once I saw how little it covered I also knew I had some other work to do.  I got out the old razor and got my little kitty tidy and clean…. I mean real clean as in completely clean and bald.  My husband loves it when I do that, but I have avoided it in the past because I hated the maintenance, but I was determined to make a new start and at least commit to shaving it regularly. I also scheduled an appointment for a spray tan at the local tanning salon on the big day where I would look nice and dark in my new suit.

Well the day came and I was so excited.  My husband did not know that I had something planned or that I was getting off at noon that day.  All day at work my mind was at home and on the night that was coming.  As a mark of my new start in liking myself and my body that Friday, which is casual dress day at my work, I wore a new pair of jeans that actually fit, though they were not too tight to be inappropriate, no panties (which felt GREAT) and nice top that fit, though was not too snug, with a sheer bra beneath.

I got off at noon, rushed to the tanning salon and got my spray on tan.  Wearing just an old loose t-shirt, jacket and some gym shorts I rushed home after the tanning salon and got my bikini on.  It felt great on my body and finally I liked how I looked in it when I looked in the mirror. I pulled a chaise lounge out and got it set up on the deck (we have a nice private deck with a privacy fence so there is no way anyone could see me on our deck).  I then left a trail of my clothes from the front door to the deck door, with a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket and two glasses at the door.   Then I got out the tanning lotion (it was about 4 PM now and my husband usually gets home about 5:30), lathered up and laid out in the warm sun…getting hot in a few different ways due to the anticipation… until my husband came home.

My husband got home and followed the trail to the door, found the champagne and came outside. There I was with my butt cheeks exposed and with the straps barely visible on my back.  My nice dark tan was completely different then when he left that morning and it contrasted dramatically with the yellow “bikini” I was “wearing”.  He was shocked.  There his usually frumpily dressed wife was lying in the sun wearing next to nothing and not worrying about it.

I pushed up a bit from the chaise, revealing my barely covered cleavage and asked if he liked what he saw.  He was speechless, but I knew the answer was yes.  I invited him to bring the glasses over and pour us some champagne.   He quickly did and for the next 15 or so minutes he just set there beside me on the chaise I told him how I really wanted to start a new chapter in both my own mind and in our marriage.

Soon there after we began kissing and I knew he was dying for sex as much as I was at that point.  I had a plan though.  I got his shirt off and began kissing up and down his chest while rubbing my chest on his stomach on his legs…. I made sure to rub my hands across his rock hard manhood as I worked my lips up and down his chest.   It did not take long for me to get him down to just his underwear after that.

As soon as I got him down to just his briefs I got him down on the chaise and began working my barely covered pussy up and down on his manhood.  I worked my hands over my own breasts, which were about to slip out of my top and onto his chest.  After a couple of minutes of that I knew he was about to die so I decided to give him some relief.

I slipped my hand down between his legs and fished his rod out and then slipped my “suit” a bit to the side and sunk his full depth into my soaking wet and freshly shaved pussy.  It felt amazing and I quickly yanked my top off to let my breasts swing freely as we both worked ourselves and each other into a sexual lather.

It did not take long for both of us to climax, making it even better I was so hot and orgasmic with  n him as he came the first time which made me hit another wave of pleasure.  I had the best and longest orgasm of the last few years that day and I really think it went on for about 10 minutes.

After that first wave we did not stop.  We went on for the next three hours on the chaise, on the deck, in the kitchen, in the bathroom and finally in the bedroom. We kissed, sucked, licked, fingered, and screwed each other until we both were so exhausted that we fell asleep on top of the covers.

About midnight I woke up and thought about all that I had done in the last few months and all that we had done earlier that night.  I was so happy I began to work my husband slightly erect, but available, cock with my mouth until he was awake.  That; an oral wake up call,  is something he had always wanted but I had never done for him.  He loved that so much we went for two more rounds before falling back asleep covered in sweat.

That night was about six weeks ago now and the last six weeks have been great.  I am wearing the right sized clothes all the time now.  I don’t wear anything inappropriate out, but my clothes fit now and I feel so much better about myself now.  This mental shift has led to a much better sex life for both of us.  We are having sex a few times a week now instead of once a month or so like we were before I began my mental shift.

For the most part I have given up the basic cotton bras and panties and gone to ones that are sheer or lace.   There are more thongs and g-strings in my panty draw now then briefs or bikinis.  I have discovered that I really like sheer boy short cut panties and I wear them often now too.  My bras are largely sheer or lace now too.   I like these and my husband likes me in them.   I have gone to wearing more skimpy and sheer things around the house as well.  Lots to t-shirts and sweatshirts and just panties now around the house.

For all of those out there that are frustrated with yourself and your sex life; I can tell you that there is hope and there is improvement out there.

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2 replies
  1. 76servant says:

    Thank you so much for your post! It gave me some hope! My wife and I have been married for over thirty years and the problem or should I say the discouragement I have battled with for sometime is the lack of her taking the initiative to seduce me. So much I desire this! Many questions pass through my mind, am I too forward? Do I really please her? Does she really enjoy my touches, kisses, advances? I am constantly pursuing her and careful to not interrupt her needs for rest, refueling whatever but seems its always on her terms. When I do come to the point to be direct asking if she would like to be intimate she usually has a pause for a moment with an “oh, didn’t know you we’re in the mood!” or “um, o.k. when? Seems that her responses are flat with an “alright, let’s do it! attitude. As I have read through the Songs of Solomon, I continue to see a reciprocation movement through the intimate dance which I see lacking in our union. Not to say, once we are in the deep moments of passion, she seems to be fulfilled from my understanding, but the energy to bring her there is many times frustrating. Throughout the years I have gently with as walking on egg shells introduced all of the new positions, touches, and toy aids to enhance the moments which she receives cautiously but openly with some inhibited restrain. With this, it gives way to those above mention questions again. Understanding our ages, and needs to work through aging, menopause, and lack of libido, we have moved forward to get the need help through testatorone/estrogen therapies which have helped physically but the struggle I continue to find is the lack or sense of no desire for her to pursue me. Just for instance the most recent. After a long working day and verbal exchange of how our day went and the experiences, consoling with each other through the heart aches and joys shared. With several brief admired gestures of a light kiss, holding of hands, my expressions of my admiration for her and gestures if how beautiful she looks with gentle touches and even a direct statement of “I want to make love to you”, seemed to fall short as if no understanding of the desired approach. As we closed the night, after her sharing insightful new scriptural teaching she just experience and conversing over the same and praying together she reaches over closes her bedside light and says, “lets make love at 4:30?”. I smile with agreement, thinking this was just her way to suffice my desire and maybe not hers I say, “ok”! Come 4:30, which by now with much anticipation and as well a lack of some sleep I start to gently arouse her with a quiet and gentle sweep of her breast then moving hand to rest on her mound. Gently again, not to abruptly wake her I slowly move fingers back to breast gently touching her nipples alternating with gentle slow kisses to her neck and nipples while carefully moving fingers between her legs up to her vaginal entry with gentle sweeping movement of fingers through her labia and clitorous. Seems by her reaction with opening of legs wider there is desire. I rest, stop, with her to respond and instantly, she huffs and puffs with discouragement so I pull away. She turns, moves completely away back to sleep. I pursue her no more. Turn, fall back asleep then waken by first alarm for her so she can be reminded for her time for her devotions. She wakes turns in her bedside light and proceeds forward with her time. I lay back asleep awoken by last alarm (1 hour later), I say good morning get up enter shower, she joins, we finish then she says, “I thought we were going to make love at 4:30? I say, “I tried but it first seemed you were responding but then you became aggravated so I stopped! She looked at me and said “Oh!”. We left it at that, and went on to get ourselves dress and ready for day and out the door. OK! Would love to have you responses. Seems my desires are waining and I am tired! Every time we discuss this type if situation she seems to get frustrated and says that she feels she is doing all she can. Well, I’ve continued many times to convey my desire for her to take initative but I move on hoping my next approach would be in timing with her need. Thank you all for allowing me to vent today. Yes, bringing this to The Lord and always doing self evaluation, but exhausted! The up and down of the arousal challenge is painful! Teach me oh Lord! To be content in all things!

  2. Seeking Passion says:

    Hi Marriage Joy,

    Reading your story gives me hope for my own marriage and sex life. My husband and I have been in a sex slump for sometime, but I am making baby steps to fix our problems.

    Thank you for writing and sharing your story; it lets me see that there are real people out there with problems similar to my mines. I am glad that you have a happy and fulfilling marriage. Congratulations 🙂

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