The Frequency of Heat
There are many facets to living the Christian life. God has given us life to live unto His glory – and we seek to learn how to do His will in our lives.
There are also many facets to living out the responsibilities within a marriage. God gives
us the grace and wisdom to grow and learn how to do it. I enjoy growing in learning how to do what God wants me to do. This obviously applies to our sex lives.
My wife and I have been married for over 25 years and have grown exponentially in our understanding of how to please one another sexually more in the last 10 years.
One of the areas of growth that has brought great joy to our marriage is the frequency of our having sex. It has NOT made things predictable in a boring sense – but has brought consistency that makes us both look forward and ‘count on’ what is coming with excitement.
I am going to share our personal frequency – not to make it a formula for anyone else – but to clearly show how it suits us well. Maybe our experience will be of encouragement to others to consider. Or not!
My wife and I have sex every other night (sometimes it ends up being in the early morning or even day). We just have grown to love this frequency. We have no problem being revved up and ready to go! This doesn’t mean that we don’t have it on consecutive days – but we rarely miss every other day.
We like how on our ‘off’ nights – we have a greater freedom to go to sleep earlier – or keep working or reading a little later. One or both of us might masturbate on the “off” night – depending on what is going on. That is hot, too!
Nowhere do we have this written down as a law – it has just become our consistent pattern!
I want to add – that when we go away (without the kids) – we have sex every day (usually multiple times a day). We know that is not the norm for us when at home. So, it starts by having sex in the car on the way to where we are going, in the shower at the hotel, and (of course) go wild in the bed! When we come home and go back to every other day – it takes some adjustment.
I am curious to know how consistent patterns have encouraged other Marriage Heat readers. I’m sure there are all kinds of varieties of patterns. We have come to a place where this every other day pattern keeps us filled and satisfied – and still wanting more! Please comment on what works well in your marriage bed.
Our sex is still fresh and lively – not hindered by the predictability. I am still surprised by how often what we are doing seems like the first time! We still go wild! We experience a euphoria like never before. What an awesome gift from God to give us such joy with our spouses. We don’t take it for granted.
We are not experts – but we think our frequency has helped us. We are not wondering about when the other will be in the mood. We even have sex often during the lighter points of my wife’s period.
So, I’m curious to hear about how others are encouraged in this area of frequency. Perhaps something you share will encourage other couples. That is certainly my intention here.
God’s blessings on you all!
By: Ben
Sir, you have certainly encouraged Ben and I. Your stories and post like this one are truly a great inspiration to us and others. Thank you so much and God bless you and your wife.
Spontaneity is certainly the spice of life! Be blessed.
Gina & Ben, as I look back at some posts from 3 years ago – it is amazing to think that is how long we have been reading comments from each other – and many others at MH. Still praising our Savior! LH
Thank you Gina.
I’m glad you used the word ‘spontaneity’. I want to add that our particular pattern still allows for much spontaneity. How? In the variations of what we do together. Also, when we decide to spontaneously have sex again first thing the next morning. My point – general predictability does not have to squash out surprise sex! You and Ben are constantly an encouragement on this site. Thank you again.
That is truly encouraging, Annie and I aren’t consistent like that, but are working on it. Contined Blessings!!!!!
Steve
Thanks for the encouragement, Lovinghusband! Your blogs are really insightful.