Masturbation by Christian Singles

Masturbation by Christian Singles

Masturbation by Christian singles has been frowned on by many Christian authors, editors and publishers. While most pastors have seen that masturbation by Christian singles is a blessing done in moderation, few pastors really talk about it much. Too dangerous in local church politics.

Recently, the post Christian Masturbation [Edited: post no longer exists but was replaced by “Christian Masturbation Defense”] has received lots of attention. Masturbation by Christian singles is a topic and practice that receives very little attention, but the struggle is real. One of the comments MarriageHeat received was from a Christian single and his real masturbation journey.

Masturbation by Christian Singles

MarriageHeat will publish this comment as a post about the Christian Singles Masturbation journey.

I’m really glad this came up here. As a single guy I’ve been looking for a healthy way to explore my sexuality and not have to read a bunch of worldly views or worse watch them!!! I’ve had an interesting journey with masterbation and would love to share my story. I started when I was 10 ish-an aquantance said he had sex with his pillow. I tried and had my first orgasm! I did it every night that summer but stopped when I got back to my mom’s because I didn’t want her to find out. Next time I was at my dad’s, I did it again every night but stopped. Then in fifth grade kids started to talk about it and I started laying on my back using a blanket.

Many years of that. Had to pull the fuzz off when I was done though! Lol. At some point I figured out lotion and was given a puberty book and eventually came for the first time and was excited. I wanted to explore this more. My little brothers started getting curious about the amount of time I spent in the bathroom. At some point while chatting online or with friends I was I troduced to porn (big problem!!!!) It brought up lots of shame and guilt and eventually when I got confirmed I quit porn cold turkey (go Jesus!!!!). But it had introduced me to a number of things I wasn’t confortable with. I’d always liked girls before but found out guys really turned me on too (daddy issues, don’t label me though!). I explored other venues of getting off and even sex chatted online (what was that called again?). Had crushes on girls and guys but never did anything besides try to get a buddy to do stuff one night without his knowledge on a trip (sin screws you up, right!) Long story short, one night I cried out to Jesus that he had to take the dirty thoughts away because otherwise I really wanted my sin. I completely gave it to him. I realized later the next day that the constant tormenting sex thoughts were gone! My mind was pure again!!! But I was still feeling guilty about masterbating (had been a long time!) And went on a mission to stop all sin in my life. So eventually, after reading the “religious” book,  Every Man’s Struggle, I quit masterbating for four years through the end of high school and through college.

The amount of guilt and shame I was under because of “religion” should be enough for me to sue them! Really!!! But about once a month I would wake up in the middle of the night masterbating! Weird! A buddy had the same experience when he stopped. Eventually in college as I began to get free from a lot of emotional problems (praise Jesus!!!!!!) I started wanting to masterbate. I resisted as per usual but over about a year Jesus eased me back into it. I really just felt it was really unhealthy to be so uncomfortable with my body. How was sex going to work once I got married and was terrified/guilt burdened about my sexuality! Guilt isn’t from Jesus! I remember the first time I let myself masterbate. It was very hot! I was in a boring afternoon anthropology class and had been really horny for quite a while. I had been talking to Jesus about this for a while and decided I just needed to trust Him and that if I was wrong I had to trust Him anyways. It’s just law if you are just looking for a set of rules and not trusting Him to teach you “No”. So I decided to take a bathroom break. No one would suspect. There were only two stalls I picked the back one. I dropped my drawers and I was already hard. I sat on the toilet and started dry stroking. Before long my feet were firmly planted up on the stall door-high as I could reach and still press firmly against the door. I was satisfied once I came! I didn’t think of anything except how good it felt the whole time. For the past five years I’ve been really enjoying myself and have overcome the guilt and shame I used to live under concerning my body.

Masturbation has served as a release valve while dating (especially when I wasn’t sure they valued my virginity). As far as the attraction to men that’s been interesting. As I continue to get healthier (mature) emotionally and spiritually that becomes less of a problem. I think the shame and fear of it is what really drove a lot of it. In the past with all the Christian purity stuff I’ve read and with some of the daddy issues I’ve had I felt bad about thinking of and being attracted to girls. Hey, your sexuality is going to plow a path either way. Say no to girls and your hormones might open other unhealthy options.

I might as well read Marriage Heat and avoid all the crap that’s out there. I’ve checked it out. You won’t get a good return from it. I feel I’m building good fantasies and expectations for marriage after being on the website. My sexuality can take it’s natural course guilt free. The porn and media I’ve been trying to be satisfied from always leaves you lacking a connection. It’s a waste of time because I really want a love connection and no porn will give you that. This website has been encouraging me that I can be loved emotionally and sexually in a healthy biblical marriage.

In the past I’ve really been afraid of marrying and getting stuck with a super prude of a wife, if I wanted to marry a Christian woman. This website is helping me see that many Christian women love sex, and I don’t have to go pursue it everywhere like the rest of my family! Even though I’ve known these things, it’s hard to ask your married friends to openly talk about their sex lives. I believe this website is going to help me as a horny single guy. I love my penis. I can’t wait to get married. Your stories have helped me realize there is something really awesome and real in Christian marriage. That love, purity and pleasure will all work together!!!! God bless you!!! I would love to hear other singles stories. Maybe what single women are hoping for!


MarriageHeat has received a great amount of criticism about our views on Masturbation by Christian Singles over the last three years. Here are the types of comments MarriageHeat has received:

Masturbation by Christian Singles Critical Comments

Masturbation is evil, you should condemn it.

Catholics should ban this website!

Christian singles should not go on this site, It will corrupt them into sin.

Masturbation by Christian singles is forbidden in the scriptures.

I am still feeling great guilt over masturbating in my youth.

You should not let kids see your site.

Masturbation by Christian Singles Encouraging Comments

This site helped me get over crippling guilt.

This site has helped me get my opposite sex attraction identity developed. Masturbation to MarriageHeat stories got me thinking about having sex with my husband someday not another woman. Thanks MarriageHeat!

I learned that there is a way for Christian singles to save themselves for marriage.

My boyfriend and I actually are able to wait for marriage to have sex. Thanks MarriageHeat!

My sex drive was so strong that I had a hard time falling a sleep, I would masturbate only to feel terrible about it. Now I am content to sleep waiting for Mr. Right. I hope he comes soon.

I am a single man who loves this site. I masturbate to the thought of my future wife.

As a pastor, I applaud your understanding of masturbation. This site promotes having a healthy sex imagination for marriage.

Masturbation by Christian Singles needs lots of conversations and stories.  MarriageHeat encourages singles who come to this site to submit your hot single fantasy stories. Remember to abide by the guidelines of MarriageHeat. This will be the first post in a new category called Christian Singles Masturbation. MarriageHeat welcomes the opportunity to help singles “get off”” on monogamous sex.




Can Masturbation by Christian Singles be done too much? Well here is one article worth having a look at. Click here.


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13 replies
  1. HornyHubby says:

    I’m actually in the process of working on a paper about masturbation. I wanted a theologically based defense for masturbation but I never could find one. So I thought I would just write one myself! LOL! I’m including both married and singles in the discussion of the article. So far it’s 9 and a half pages single spaced. But I’m not done yet. I figure I will need to break it down into sections to post. But hopefully that will help others have a better understanding of masturbation.

  2. Nicholas says:

    I know for me (a 20 year old single) this website has been a life saver. Having struggled with pornography issues coming to a site to hear about real loving and committed marriages has been deeply encouraging. I've been masturbating to this site for awhile and haven't felt guilt but figured maybe I was wrong in some way but this jus helps solidify it. I want to be pure for my future wife and marriage heat helps me keep that. Look forward to the sanctity and closeness of marriage. Thank you marriage heat for bringing these endearing stories together!

  3. mbera says:

    Yes I totally agree. Being single women at 27 its hard. Im so ready to be married and take that next step. Masturbating helps some. I would really like to real relationship with someone who cares and loves one another like God loves us.

  4. Constanza says:

    Hello! And thank you for this amazing site… i'm a 20 year old girl, who believes blindly in our Savior, i believe also that waiting until marriage can be done and i'm in the wait of that.
    You see i have a boyfriend about my age, he is a Christian also and shares my thoughts about waiting until marriage, but unfortunaly he is not a virgin… things in the past that he regrets but still i am happy to say that when we get married i could come to him as a virgin and say that i was saving myself for him.
    Now my issue is this… masturbation.
    It is totally difficult for me when it comes to "this", is not that i want to have sex now but sometimes i feel that my body betrays me with the "want".

    My story begin when i was little about 10 years old maybe less and in the internet i saw a porno picture, in the begining i knew that was wrong to watch it so i simply ignore it… but later i became curious about what they where doing (in the picture the couple was pleasuring one another) so one night i tried it. The sensation was instantaneous, i didn't understand it at first but the only thing i knew was that it was amazing.
    So i started to touch myself more frequently, but then it wasn't enough… because it was just a single touch at first but obviously later it didn't worked.
    And i searched in the internet and found the massive and destructive world of pornography, i knew that it was wrong but it helped to the relief.

    Years passed and i became aware of the wrong i was doing, but it was difficult to let go… i started to feel guilty.
    Over the years i tried to let the habit of masturbation and also to see pornography but i always ended up falling again, i felt horrible like i was some kind of hipocrite showing myself as a christian but with this problem.

    So now i have still the problem is less frecuent but it is still there, the guilt and the want. It really scares me that this is going to affect me in my future marriage, that in some point i'm going to suffer in the sexual part that i'm not going to be happy.
    I don't want it to be an addiction, i know that sexuality is a beautiful thing God created, and that i shouldn't feel guilty or disgusted about it… But i can't help to feel bad that when i want to do it i am forced to watch the internet to release myself for only one second of pleasure folowed by extreme guilt.

    I'm hoping that God help me with this and i dream that in the future this heavy feeling goes away, and have a normal life.
    I appreciate this website, i have never tell anyone this trouble except maybe my friends but they do not support me in the spiritual life so it was a bit of relief tell this.

    • Lovinghusband says:

      Keep trusting in the Lord Constanza! It sounds like you have made progress – though not perfect. I’m glad you and your boyfriend have the same convictions. I will pray for you in this regard – that you would have discipline. God bless you!

  5. NymphoWife says:

    This article is just want I needed to read. I have been with my bf for one month. We have had sex as a friend w benefits relationship years before. But now were courting and waiting until marriage. We both have huge sex drives and I thought masterbation would make it worse. But this site has taught me what to think about so I’m still being pure. I will share this article with my bf. Because he loves to materbate due to his big sex drive. He and I both gave up porn. This site is so encouraging for young christian singles with big sex drives.

  6. John T says:

    All men masturbate. When I was about age 20 I decided to stop and managed for about 6 months but I was plagued by wet dreams and waking with my pyjamas soaked semen. Also I would lie awake for hours with an aching hard erection but not lusting, but craving to stroke off. I still remember the relief the night I gave in, knelt spread legged on my student bed and stroked till I shot across the room. When I had a girlfriend we refrained from sex but every night when she left me I would have to release myself with masturbation as a precaution against sex. Even now when I!m happily married when I'm away on a business trip I masturbate thinking of her rather than watching late night porn. Unfortunately masturbation seems to be with us to stay.

    • Tony C says:

      I don't believe solo mb is right for a man. I think it is alright if you are away and thinking of your wife when you do it. Once you are back though it should stop as she is there. Unless you let her watch of course, as then it is sex being shared.

  7. Rmd says:

    I wish I had known the liberty of masturbation when I was a young man in college in the 70's. We were taught that is was always sin, so I spent so much energy fighting it that sex became the focus of so many wasted hours. I did masturbate when I just could no longer stand it, but then spent days in guilt. I married someone who was not a match in any way. It was just that she said yes, and I wanted sex. Everyone we knew – friends, family, pastors, said to wait, but sex was more important than the people God sent to warn me. I married, and sex was horrible from the wedding night on into the next almost three decades. Several years after the divorce I met a widow on a Christian dating site. We were both in our 50's, and both passionately in love with Jesus, and we grew to be passionately in love with each other. We determined to wait for sex, and thank God that this time I knew the freedom of masturbation. Had I known that freedom as a young man I would never had married so poorly and in disobedience to our Father. We are blissfully happy after six years of marriage, and now in our 60's we have the most thrilling sex life because our love is so deep, and our hearts are one. Use God's gift of masturbation to keep from marrying the wrong person, and to keep from doing what God knows is harmful to us and, because of that, tells us to keep for marraige – the blessed gift of sex.

  8. Dean316 says:

    Good post and very true. I did masturbate when i was a teen but at first it wasn't for the right reasons and guilt came after i learned of the truth but then after i learned it was not a sin and in fact okay to do, i never looked back. As a single man it keeps me sexually active in some capacity. Wish it wasn't shrouded in sin so much as it is.


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