A husband’s thoughts on two important elements of what makes sex wonderful.
My thoughts (a husband’s) about what makes sex the most fulfilling:
It isn’t the cumming at the end of sex that is the hot part. It is the process of getting there, and taking your time to get there. In my opinion, this involves two main things:
1. The mind
2. The physical, pleasurable feelings
It takes both of these things to bring about the “fulfilled” feeling when sex is over. For me, that is the goal – enjoying the process and feeling fulfilled when it is over. It makes me feel ten times closer to my wife.
How is the mind involved? You love the emotions of either being chased after or for some they love the emotions of doing the chasing and seeing how well the other person responds. Guys are different in this area. My guess is most guys love the chasing, but for me, I loved the being chased. Don’t get me wrong, I respond very well to being chased, and will reward my wife for doing what she does. But, my mind responds the most to being chased.
I love my mind thinking things like “I wonder what else we will do? I wonder where this is going? I love being wanted” But, for some guys, they would think “I love chasing them and knowing how well they melt from all that I do to them, and how well I can satisfy them.” It is soo fulfilling when the mind is involved in the sexual process.
Then you have the body involved. When you learn what a person likes, and then you do that for them, the body begins to respond. Of course, bodies are different, and each couple has to care enough to learn what the other person loves. But once we learn those hot spots, then, for most men and women the precum begins to flow. I love reaching that point. It is right at that point that every touch feels 20 times better.
The longer you can stay at that level, the longer the physical pleasures will last. For example, let’s use a number scale to explain it. Let’s say a #10 level is the point you cum. If the guy can stay around a #8, he will highly love all that is happening with his body. It is like you are on “the edge” of cumming, but holding back just enough so you do not get there. For me, the precum flows steadily at that point. For us males, at times you may even have to tell your wife “Slow down, I am about to cum, whew!” If she loves what she is doing to you, she will love that as well. She will love knowing that you have to slow her down. Many guys call it being edged or edging.
As a wife learns her husband’s body, she can keep the level from getting to the point that they cum. Again, each husband is different. For example for me, switching from sucking my cock to massaging my balls awhile, will allow me to slow down a little, yet the pleasures are still strongly there.
So, the combination of the mind and how you love getting chased from getting the attention, or love doing the chasing, then you add the pleasurable, sensual, physical feelings, this then makes it the most wonderful, fulfilling experience.
You can take this combination of mental and physical and put it into whatever you do with sex on any particular day. When those two things are there, then, most of the time sex will be very satisfying.
Don’t get me wrong; there is plenty of room for quickies here and there when there is no time to do things right. But, for sex to be the most satisfying and fulfilling, you need to take this formula of mind and body, apply it to most sexual situations, and the outcome will be a wonderful, satisfying, fulfilling feeling when it is over.
For example, what is involved in role-playing? It is taking the time to tease and turn on the other person with some sexual situation that they would find hot. It is coming up with a role play that focuses on the mind. The mind feels fulfilled because the other person is willing to role-play this fantasy withe them.
Then, what is the other part of role-playing? It is taking your time, allowing the role-playing story to “play out,” as you do, physically, all the things the other person loves. It does not matter what the role-play centers on, the formula that makes it hot is both mind and physical. The variety of the role-play just makes it interesting, even though the mind game and physical game are very similar.
Here is another example. I love sex in the car while going down the road. It is extremely hot to me. The mind game involves my wife knowing that I love this, and she is willing to do this for me. That is very fulfilling for me that she is doing this for me. It makes me feel wanted. Plus, the mind game involves the fact that she is willing to take a chance of getting caught while going down the road, playing in the car. How many wives do this kind of thing for their husbands? So for me, I greatly appreciate it. It fulfills my mind, so to speak.
OR, maybe she starts by scooting her seat back a little and then laying it down so that no one would see her except a very tall vehicle that we passed. (At that point, she would just keep a blanket in the car to use to cover up if we passed a semi truck) Then, let’s say she exposes her tits to me so I can reach one hand over and play with them. Mmmmmm. A few minutes later, she slides down her jeans and panties so that I can play with her pussy. Since I am a typical guy where “visual” turns me on, she has highly succeeded in getting my attention. Then, maybe after about 20 minutes of me rubbing all over her exposed body (combined with me trying to keep an eye on the road) she then turns her attention to me. She unbuttons, unzips my pants, slides them down to my knees and starts playing with my cock, which by now, is already very hard and precum is flowing down it.
With this example, what has she done for me? My mind is feeling extremely fulfilled because she cared enough to do all of this for me. I feel privileged from the experience. And, as we play, we are in essence, edging each other and enjoy all of the physical feelings as we go down the road. By the time we make it home, I will be so worked up that I will practically carry her into the bedroom to do everything to her that she loves. So, both the mind and the physical part of me has been touched, and the whole experience is very fulfilling to me.
I love how the scenarios change with sex. This is another thing that makes sex wonderful. I love the role-play times. I love the sex in the car. I love sex in the living room. If we lived in a more secluded spot, I would love sex outside. Each scenario is wonderful, even though the formula is the same – the fulfillment of the mind, and the wonderful physical pleasures lasting as long as possible. Each scenario adds different aspects of constantly feeling fulfilled. Each scenario is the best reminder that our marriage is the best.
I want to make one final point that is unrelated to what I have said up until now. I just want to leave you with this thought. I believe a relationship, to be a great one, should try its best to connect in 3 areas – Mental, Spiritual, and Physical.
So, the relationship should be a Mental connection. In other words, you are capable of enjoying each other’s company. You like each other. And, hopefully, you can even have some good talks on a regular basis.
Then the relationship needs to spiritually connect. You both love God and want to live for Him, making Him the greatest part of your life. I say all the time, if God is # 1, then He makes us better people. The result of that is our spouse is more blessed with what kind of person we are.
Then, the relationship needs to physically connect. You need a great sex life that is fulfilling for both partners. I told my wife once when we were struggling sexually, about these three things. I said “We already have the first two, but without this third one, we are just buddies who have sex every once in awhile. We cannot move up to being everything we can be if we do not connect on all three things.” I further explained it like this. “We are allowed (by God) to do things that nonmarried people do not get to do, and we are not doing it. It is what makes things more special with couples. We should be saying “Hey, let’s sneak away to “play” here, or sneak away to play there like we are a couple of fun-loving, buddies.”
I believe we are all made with three parts to us: Mental, Spiritual, and Physical. If you take these three parts of us, and you connect in a relationship with those three parts, you will have a fulfilling marriage. The most fulfilling will involve all 3.
By the way, I painted the picture attached to this story. I am a hobby artist.
GCMS, thanks for thoughts. Sex is wonderfully simple but yet so complex too. While sex outside of marriage can be pleasurable, it pales in comparison to deep connective sex that can be found in marriage. However, married sex can be very unfulfilling if, as you mentioned, the spiritual element isn't present. When we selflessly love our spouse physically and emotionally as God intends it is very deep and powerful. Selfish sex can have quite the opposite result.
I, too, enjoy being pursued by my wife. A confident sexual woman is awesome.
Great painting!
Thanks R Dub. Great comments. Thanks for the comment about the painting as well.
Well said gcms. Individuals just having physical sex miss out on the profound mystery of selfless fulfilling sex found only within committed covenant marriage.
Every day single people meet each other and have sex outside of marriage. Most of them think they know what EVERYONE likes. They are so wrong. People like different things. It may be true that many of us like SIMILAR things, but how we get to that point, maybe entirely different. In a good sexual, Christian marriage, you can be sooo much further ahead of the world when you try to find out everything sexually about each other. The fulfillment can go so much further than single people can experience in the world. We just have to find out what each other really loves …
Gcms, great truths presented in you story. I feel challenged to do more of the "things what nonmarried people should not do." Thank you. I agree, all three areas are very important to have great sex with your spouse.
Thank you for your comments.
It is nice to hear someone else, a guy no less, talk about how great sex is, not because of the orgasm, but because of the pre orgasm stage. To me that stage is like being on a wife-induced drug. The world disappears and only my wife and I exist in a state of aroused connection to each other.
Wow. GREAT description austinm. "wife-induced drug" "The world disappears and only my wife and I exist." LOVE IT.
What a great post. Very passionate and informative. I absolutely LOVE the painting.
Thank you FutureWifey on the comment about the painting and post. I almost wish I could paint those for couples to enhance the marriage, but I am not sure whether that would cross over the line or not.
Would love to talk with anyone further. Does this site allow us to contact each other or even see another person's profile. I cannot see where you can do that. Are we allowed to post our email address? hobbyartist855@yahoo.com
Great article — especially the importance of physical bonding! I totally agree with FutureWifey, the painting is great. I think it's the first exposed nipple in MH history — albeit in drawn form. I actually didn't realize it was drawn at first, I thought it was a photo. I started to crave my wife and my dick began hardening. Not because I've never seen a nipple before (not close to true), or because it was pornographic (which it is not), but because I was made "hot and bothered" at the thought of MH adding some new spice to the mix. There are many more conservative views than mine, but I am a Believer that doesn't think that all nudity is pornographic. Some is very artful and does not cause me to lust after the subjects (which "lust" is a craving to claim ownership of, not simply a sexual thought or image). In fact it caused me to put down my phone and have a mutual masturbation session with my wife. So it actually had the opposite effect as porn, it drew me more into my wife. But I like when these images are a "hard" PG-13. << Yes double meaning. I think the poll results show more of an openness for the occasional risqué image. I want to be mindful of the "weaker brother" – but some strength can be found by not lumping artful nude images into a "sinful" category.
Thanks PacMan. You made me smile as I read "first exposed nipple in MH history."
Loved every syllable of this! Car sex is one of our favorites – as I've shared in my stories. One time on the 101 here in California – during a long drive (that was made short by our prolonged sex play) – we reached a point where my very conservative in public wife – was so turned on and wet – that at the moment she was exploding in orgasm in the passenger seat – she didn't care who saw what! She was in a different dimension! Her noises and facial expressions were screaming out with one of the most orgasmically powerful cums I've ever witnessed. It was an "oh fuck" moment to the nth degree!
Your car sex portion brought back those awesome thoughts – thank you. And thank you also for the depth that you displayed here. I look forward to reading much more from you. God bless you and your wife. LH
Thank you Lovinghusband.
I loved the story and the picture. I personally would love to see more pictures like it appear on MH. Nudity is not dirty as long as it is done in a way that expresses the beauty of the human body. Just my opinion. God bless you all and stay horny always!
Thanks hornyGG.
Great post. I loved the painting as well. I agree with hornyGG that more pictures like that would be nice. She is right in saying that nudity in itself is not dirty as long as it is expressing the beauty of the human body. Which, by the way, is created to be the image of God. And the image of God is never dirty.
I also love the picture. I agree not all nudity is dirty. As a former porn addict that the Lord powerfully and graciously delivered, I've seen dirty. But like Song of Solomon (and MH) celebrate the body and Godly sexuality in written form, I think there's a place to celebrate it visually. Pornography distorts the body and sex, objectifying body parts, encouraging selfishness, and divorcing sex from relationship and intimacy. Could it be that erotic art, written or otherwise, that glorifies God's creation and celebrates intimacy/relationship is actually the antithesis of pornography?
Many Christians would argue MH stories are pornography, because being aroused by anything other than your spouse is lust. But the Biblical definition of lust isn't specifically sexual. Lust is about coveting and discontent with what God has given you, whether it's food, house, car, or spouse (or singleness). Appreciating beauty in God's creation, whether a sunset or a body, and arousal that contributes to intimacy/relationship, rather than living in fear of the body and sex, seems like a healthy and Godly thing to me.
Great comments leenoos !