Above Average…Need Advice

To my fellow MH brothers in the Lord, I wanted to ask you a question that I cannot ask in too many other online venues because of the certainty of receiving advice that is not centered in the Lord. Of course, to all the MH sisters out there who would like to chime in, I welcome your responses, too, because whatever advice the fellas give will be based on their experiences with you, their wives. To the MH moderators, I hope I’m not violating any guidelines. So, here it goes.

I am above average in size in the genital department. My length can be adjusted to, as long I’m listening to her body. Plus, there are positions that will limit how deep I can go, but that will still require some monitoring. The problem is in the circumference/girth/thickness area. I’m, at least, an inch above average there. I’ve been seeing in some forums (outside of MH) the responses from women who have been with men with my dimensions or larger, and it hasn’t gone well between them and their men. Some have even divorced. I cannot do anything to diminish what I have.

So, to my MH brothers who have been blessed with “thick testimonies”, how does a husband deal with his wife’s discomfort with his large size? What steps have you had to take? Of course, being gentle is necessary. But, is there anything else you can tell me? To the MH Ladies, is there something you and your husband have had to do in order to ensure that intimacy between you two isn’t hindered, but enjoyed? How have you two compensated for the size? More importantly, have you gotten accustomed to him? Like I’ve often heard said, “Running from length is easy. Running from thickness can’t be done.”

I’m worried because I don’t want to scare off my future wife with something that we men are taught from childhood is a good thing to have.

Please, share your wisdom with me. Again, MH moderators, I apologize if I’ve broken any posting rules.

The Writer

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36 replies
  1. asm says:

    First of all, it sounds like you are worried about a possible problem in the future. Maybe the worry is premature if that is the case. Second of all, if the woman is a virgin or has not had children, it may be an issue. If she has had children, no man, no matter how large is going to be comparable to the child she had, and it shouldn't be a problem. Has it been in the past?

    • TheWriter says:

      I've had limited history, and it has been a problem for the first several minutes. However, I've been abstinent for the past several years and, to keep everything healthy and functioning in preparation for marriage, I've gotten into various exercises that have increased the dimensions. I've recently backed off of them because they've put me in the higher percentage rate of size. So, like you said, I'm "anticipating" a future problem and I might just need to chill out and not worry about it.

  2. ATrain says:

    Well, I mean, unless your penis is the thickness of a forearm or something, you're going to be fine. Vaginas stretch to accommodate. I don't think this is something you need to worry about much. You and your future wife will figure it out together.

  3. ShowHerLove says:

    I'm also above average, and the key I've found is to spend lots of time on her before penetration. And I mean as much time as you can, get her good and lubricated. her body will adjust to you.

  4. Anonymous says:

    As a female, there are probably a million concerns and fears I have about sharing my body with my future husband regarding shape and size. I've had to pray to help God let me trust Him with these issues, and not to worry about anything, especially things out of my control. Your size is something you can't control. Being a good husband is something you can control, and that's what is ultimately important to a godly women. Plus, if you're having sex with someone for the rest of your life, you have plenty of time to practice and experiment. be careful reading other forums out there, I've resorted to them for questions about sex, and sometimes they can just make you more freaked out and skew your perception. I'm glad you chose MH for advice 🙂

  5. Harper Shelby Thornton says:

    I am a woman, but I can tell you that my husband's penis is slightly big, and for me personally it feels good. But man and woman are designed to fit together, so maybe her vagina will adjust over time. Bless

  6. Anonymous2 says:

    So… This is weird, but I've heard from various sources that usually penis points straight out or up when erect, but mine starts like that and bends down so it looks like a curved L and points straight down. I'm worried this will prevent some more enjoyable positions with my future wife. Am I worrying about nothing or should I get it checked out? I'm scared to go searching for answers online for similar/obvious reasons as mentioned above… Thanks.

    • Single, Husband in Training says:

      I don't know if I'm the right person to ask, but if the curvature isn't painful and not presenting any problems with normal body functions, you should be okay. Of course, there's nothing wrong with seeking medical opinion(s). Just make sure the doctors you visit are reputable. A co-pay is a very small price to pay in preventing injury or dysfunction. Just my thoughts.

  7. JessaB says:

    As a female, my husband is a little big there but it didn't intimidate me whatsoever. Just like Harper said, 'man and woman are designed to fit together'.

    I wouldn't worry about it, if anything just pray to God about your future wife and in general: your future! I hope I helped, God bless you!

  8. Upcomingauthor says:

    Patience is the key. As well as what ShowHerLove said, get her ready. For me and my wife, when we first started having sex, the first few minutes were always a little painful so I would just have to move real slow until her body adjusted. But thankfully my patients has paid off and now her body just knows. Can't fix the length because sometimes I go to deep and I still have to be careful of that. But I'll just say there will be those moments where you'll be surprised, some things you normally couldn't do you'll be able to do.

    Right now you're psyching yourself out. The biggest thing to know is God isn't going to give us anything we can't bear, the also requires your future wife. Even if it takes time, she'll be the right design for you. Remember that Eve came directly from Adam. That's why we become one when we get married, we're all missing a piece of us, and it's just another piece of the puzzle you're looking for. He's not going to give either one of you the wrong piece, or pieces 😛 in this case.

    Ultimately, pray about it. If the exercises are what are changing you like you said, then ask God to change up your exercise routine if you're that worried about it. Or he may just tell you to relax and trust him. For future fears, only He knows the future, and only he can reassure you. Spend some time with Him, he'll let you know what's up.

  9. hornyGG says:

    I understand your concern, but if you are loving and gentle she will adjust. Like was stated above a woman's pussy will stretch and accomadate. Remember a woman is built for child birth. My husband Ben has an above penis size and I was a virgin when we married. His cock size was never an issue. It just feels good. God bless and stay horny always.

    • HusbandInTraining says:

      Pinbot17, there are multiple sites you can visit. I used to frequent two sites, but please understand that you will be in the midst of people who don't necessarily hold the values you do. So, see any and all other visitors to those sites through the eyes of grace. Of course, they're not pornographic, but you still need to be alert.

      They are thundersplace.org…and
      pegym.com

      I engaged in exercises to keep everything healthy, but they did a bit more than that (not that I'm complaining). Mine were variations of the Jelq, Squeezes, and stretches. Just find out what works for you. Again, approach the sites with discernment and caution.

  10. texasman76 says:

    Husband in Training, I am well above the average size both in length in especially girth. I have to second those who have indicated to take time with your wife beforehand. This allows additional lubrication for her and readiness to accept you. My wife and I were virgins when we married. Beforehand, she had to have surgery to make her larger as a tampon would not even fit (I am thankful for that) but she has a tough time getting me in. I have to lube up a lot. The nice thing about being virgins is we learned along the way together. Just relax and pray about it. God will let things work out. It is His will that a husband and wife become one in the wonderful design of sex so it is always great to know He is with you 100%.

    • HusbandInTraining says:

      Thanks, sir! I really need to embrace that truth that everyone has mentioned in some form or another: God is NOT surprised by your size and has everything worked out.

  11. texasman76 says:

    One thing you might prepare yourself for is it may not be possible for her to have full blown oral sex with you. If you are like me, it is pretty much impossible except for the head.

    • HusbandInTraining says:

      You hit the nail on the—um—head, bruh! LOL. That is a concern for me. But, thankfully, I've learned from my "previous days" before abstinence/celibacy that it's not something that I'm too big on (Please forgive the puns, dude. It's not intentional). But, if the Father has made my wife (whoever she is) "talented", I won't refuse her. Thanks for the warning, brother.

  12. Shondra says:

    So here's a woman's perspective and testimony. My hubby is rather big and curved. He hated it for he longest time and worried that he wouldn't be able to please his future wife. Then I came along. God made me bigger on he inside to handle him…and I LOVE his curve. So for now, be thankful for the package you have and keep praying for the woman God created for you to give the package to. Hubby and I often turn over after love making and thank the Lord for how he truly made us for each other physically.

  13. Anonymous says:

    I'm also thicker than average, and my wife has always had a dryness problem. A bad combination unless something is done about it.. So we've always used lube. We've recently begun using Power Glide from Amazon. Much, much better than KY.

  14. 1956packard says:

    I to am " way above average " length & girth wise .My wife & I would try all different positions . And as I began , I would ask her , " does this hurt ? " or " does this feel o.k. to you ? " . If it didn't , we'd try something else . If you two have complete , honest, open communication ; you'll both discover positions that you'll both like . And that are " comfortable " to her . If my wife is hurting during sex , I know she isn't enjoying sex . And that's not fair to her .

  15. Shawn p says:

    All the advice on going slow is good. I'm above average for length and girth. My advice is to take your time especially in new positions. There are several positions that i bottom out on my wife's cervical area. Doesn't really feel that great for either of us. So check the depth before you thrust too hard. There are many positions where this won't be a concern.

    As far as girth my advice is lots of sloppy oral sex on her before you enter her. Saliva and other fluids are a great lube.

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