Love of Masturbation

What can we say other than, as a married couple, we now love to masturbate.

No one is probably shocked at that admission from a husband. But some would probably be curious how a 40 yr old wife, who had never masturbated herself to orgasm once in her life, recently managed to have so many intense orgasms over a 45 minute period that she passed out.

Literally, passed out. (With the biggest smile on her face.)

I was laying on the bed next to her, watching my epic beauty enter into this erotic realm where angels seemed to be pulling orgasms from her. At the same time, they were engraving a smile on her face which hasn’t left since Tuesday night. When the final orgasm came, it almost threw her completely off the bed and ripped noises from her lips that didn’t need an amplifier to wake up the neighbors and get them praying. She collapsed on her side, still clutching her now infamous friends.

My own ecstasy soon found it’s resting spot on my abs as I watched from two feet away, she with her legs spread apart and opened toward me. She had studiously uncovered, over the last few weeks, that the satisfaction she yearned for required both internal and external stimulation. This was the first time I got a view of what had been happening underneath the covers.

While she basked in the afterglow of her session, I rose and walked around to her side of the bed to pick up all the tools employed that hour. Her hand still clutched the Lelo Mona she used for internal enjoyment, but the rest were scattered about. When I laid her enhancement devices on the bathroom sink to clean, it looked more like I was washing dishes after feeding an NFL team for Thanksgiving. There must have been 20 toys. I can only assume her body enjoyed the oxytocin release they triggered as much as it did the tryptophan. It sure seemed like it.

It was no fault of her own that she went so long without experiencing such pleasure.

Ten months ago, our relationship had fallen on some tough times. My wife was unsure of what caused the emotional pain to surface when it did, but the results of childhood sexual, emotional and physical abuse hit her and it hit hard. For the first time in her life, she sought counseling because the pain was too much.

And after 13 years of pushing it to the side, I knew she needed it, as uncomfortable and precarious as the outcome might be.

My wife went through one-on-one counseling and also through a book called “Mending the Soul” in a group setting. Her opinions, attitudes, and emotions shifted with a great intensity weekly, sometimes daily, but always moving forward.

There has probably never been a time in my life when I was more proud to be her husband, even knowing the outcome may not be to my liking. If you’ve ever witnessed someone with emotions so strong they might boil from the skin, you know what I’m talking about. It’s impressive to see people engage those feelings rather than toss them to the side or bury them.

She addressed the pain and hurt and by August the counseling was over. Now the time came for us to reconnect and move forward. What prompted the initial desire for counseling had to do with our sexual relationship and making it better. Unbeknownst to me, something had happened during one of our sexual encounters that led her to a mental state of avoidance and disgust which she couldn’t move beyond. Now she had and we had to start making progress.

Neither one of us is what you would call patient. So within a week of completing the counseling, I suggested that getting to know herself physically wouldn’t be the worst place to start.

It was August 24th, 2017. I was out of town on a business trip when I receive this text:

Hey, babe. How is your morning? Did you go out last night? Hope none of you drank too much.

We didn’t.

I did it last night…and it was fun. And again this morning.

Did what?

It 🙂 Twice

Whoa. Wow. *precariously aroused*

As you can imagine, getting that text while sitting at breakfast with three people who could terminate your employment was a little uncomfortable. Even more uncomfortable was the full mast I was sailing with and had to somehow hide, as more and more people gathered to ‘kiss ass’ with the bosses.

I would write more about what happened between that text and the start of this story, but my wife and I decided to keep that to ourselves. But our next few sexual encounters were immeasurably intense and special as my stunning wife let go of hang-ups and let God perfect her as a married sexual being. Just imagine 🙂

After that, I started reading multiple books on female orgasms, masturbating etc. Those I didn’t read, I listened to as I drove or flew across the country. Some were written from a Christian worldview, some secular. We just gleaned the useful information. Here’s a list: (We’ve also included our opinion on some of them.)

1. Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski
***We put this book at the top of the list for both women and men. It’s a purely secular and scientific view of intimacy, sex, and arousal. She uses both straight and lesbian couples as her sample couples, which may turn some of you off, but the information is legitimate regardless. If you can overlook that part, this is a great book. Even if you can’t overlook that part, this is a great book.***

2. Sex and the Soul of a Woman by Paula Rinehart
***I love 99 percent of everything about this book with the exception that it seems to paint the only desirable man as one being from the middle ages, who had a physical job, came home and grabbed his ever-adoring wife who was constantly wet for him and made love to her with reckless abandon without ever getting her pregnant.***

3. Intimate Issues, Twenty One Questions Christian Women ask about Sex” by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus
*** The wife’s favorite book. She highly recommends for all women, especially those approaching times of intimacy, to read***

4. The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus by Violet Blue
***Could be better***

5. The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Wray Gregoire
***Her website is better: To Love Honor and Vacuum. I suggest that you pay a visit. It’s fun. She suggests that, if you want to feel sexy, it starts with getting dressed in the morning. This, if nothing else that she says, made a huge difference. Ladies, spend what you want on lingerie. Not a single one of us husbands is going to object.***

6. “Sex God” by Rob Bell**

7. The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick
***I recommend that you ‘google’ her name and check out her website.***

8. Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship by Margalis Fjelstad

9. Stop Caring for the Borderline Narcissist by Margalis Fjelstad

10. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

11. Crazy Good Sex by Les Parrott III
***We didn’t find this one useful.***

12. Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex by Jenny Block

13. O Wow: Discovering your Ultimate Orgasm by Jenny Block

14. Anatomy of an Affair by David Carder

15. She Comes First by Ian Kerner

16. The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex by Barbara Keesling
***Oddly enough, I liked this more than the Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. So did the wife.***

17. Wounded Heart by Dan D. Allender

18. Sex Yourself by Carlyle Jansen
***Very well written. Couldn’t endorse this more. Compelling, sexy and just enough.”***

19. Queen’s Code by Allison Armstrong
***Halfway through, but really, really, really, really, really good!***

We have more to read but don’t want to list them until we’ve read them.