Masturbation for Improvement

My wife and I are in our late 40s; we just found this site.

I no longer wake up every single morning with strong erections like  I used to have. They were sometimes so strong they were painful and wouldn’t go away. I would even have them on mornings after having sex!

I have taken to Kegels as of late and do notice a significant improvement in the length of my morning erections, girth, and strength. I also see that my cum is creamier and white versus wet and runny. And I have observed that my erections following sex seem to have more girth, length, and strength because of the Kegel exercises.

I look in the bathroom mirror following sex to gauge how my cock is doing the further along I go into my 40s. This has turned into a habit for me as my member kind of amazes me while looking at it in the full-length mirror! It reminds me of the old saying “use it or lose it.” That now makes 100% sense to me in this context.

Since reading all the positive stories and comments in the masturbation sections, I have decided that having an erection is the very same form of exercise as Kegels–even better due to the amount of time that the same muscle used during Kegels is also used during the erection cycle.

Recently, I started practicing celibacy from masturbation since I could never masturbate without pornographic videos coming to mind. I was not able to keep my mind on only my wife throughout the whole masturbation process. So, I thought that if I couldn’t get through one time without thinking about porn, then I would honor my wife and stop masturbating all together.

In maintaining the Kegel exercises, my thinking is that it will strengthen my penis. It seems I can only measure the improvement by the frequency of morning erections, their strength, and also hardness during and after sex. But sex happens just once per week and sometimes will slide into two to three weeks. So, my conclusion is that I’m not able to get the “sample set” that I would like.

But now, after reading all the wonderful exchanges between the married couples, I have decided to return to masturbating. I think it will help get back the improvements that I fear I may have lost in my erections.

In thinking about this, I realize that I only masturbate when showering in the mornings before work. While this is the perfect place and environment to do it, I spend very little time actually masturbating, since time is short in the morning.

I recall a time when I was in my twenties. I was masturbating in the bathroom in front of the mirror. The sight of my hand gripping and jacking my cock was a turn-on. I remember I did spend extra time masturbating this way as it allowed me to see what my cock looked like while jacking off.

As in my memory, I stood sideways in front of the mirror so I could get a glimpse of what the head of my stiff cock might look like when it was disappearing into my wife’s pussy. This also totally turned me on.

I wanted to write this “story” to encourage you as you have encouraged me! But, my real motivation for writing is to ask for any wisdom, advice, or guidance that anyone can provide as it relates to my “improvement” goals. I want to maintain my cock as well and as long as I can. Not for me only, but also for my wife.

I am proud that God gave me what he did in this area of my body, for my wife. I believe that it has been a gift that I’ve been able to give to her throughout our marriage. I want to be able to keep this area of my body from ever becoming a disappointment. That may be too strong a word, but I’m quite certain you get my meaning!

This site, your stories, and your comments have been an encouragement and a real blessing. Thank you in advance for your responses.

God Bless,
A Better Pastime

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12 replies
    • A Better Pastime says:

      Thank you WildThing! I'm proud that the honoring and respect of my wife is what stood out for you in this story. Truth be told, and as I think about this more in light of your comment, my return to masturbating is almost driven out of a fear of not being able to be the blessing (sexually) to my wife for all the years that we have remaining together, as I have been for the years that we've had so far. Thank you for posting your kind thoughts WildThing!

  1. hornyGG says:

    Congratulations on your rekindled Masturbation practices! I do believe most men jack off in the shower. The shower is my husband's Ben favorite place to jack off . Like you he does it early in the morning before work, unless we have sex that morning. Masturbation is a wonderful God given gift that can enhance our sexuality. Thanks for posting and God bless you and yours!

    • A Better Pastime says:

      Thank you so much for your kind response GG! I love your genuine support ("Congratulations on your rekindled Masturbation practices!") and most your most endearing encouragement ("Masturbation is a wonderful God given gift that can enhance our sexuality. Thanks for posting and God bless you and yours!"). God's blessing to your Ben, GG! Scott & Michelle

    • A Better Pastime says:

      Spoken like a true American Flyer: once you got it up…keep it up! Love it Art! Thank you!

  2. Johny123 says:

    Though I’m married I still feel the need to masturbate, especially when I’m in the mood for sex but my wife isn’t. But thank God my wife fully understands and is happy about it. I recommend you too are open with your wife. What happens is that we are in bed together and I have a hard erection. It keeps me awake. I say to my wife “put your hand on my thigh” – she knows what I mean! I lay on my back, legs wide. She gently strokes my inner thighs, my scrotum, my penis, my belly and chest, and rubs her thigh against mine. The feel of her loving hand strains my erection rock hard! Then I masturbate, stroking and tugging my shaft and running my hand up over my penis head as franticly as when I was in my teens. All with the freedom of not having to keep it secret so I can grunt and gasp with the masturbation pleasure. As I masturbate I run my spare hand over my wife’s body – long smooth legs, rounded bottom cheeks, soft warm breasts, and through her pubic hair. I think of her in her underwear, nude in sexy poses, and of the feel of her body against mine in our best marriage sex times. When my orgasm comes I splash my semen over my belly and my sweet wife gives me a tissue to wipe it away with. Then we kiss, and I can relax and sleep. Sometimes I masturbate in different positions with my wife. My wife masturbates too, and likes me to watch and kiss her breasts and nipples while she finger pleasures herself. So take it from me, masturbation can have a helpful part in marriage.

  3. Thomas J. Kurtis says:

    My wife and I have been married almost 41 years, and my penis is now larger than it was 10 years ago. I think this is due to gradual transitions in how we share affections. Generally, we have moved from what I would describe as adrenaline sex to ocytocin sex, while also transitioning from goal-oriented sex (focus on orgasms) to process-oriented sex which does not ignore the value of orgasms. She particularly enjoys a long labia minor massage, perhaps simultaneous with a nipple massage, while I enjoy a long penis massage. We have found a position in which we can do both while being completely relaxed. Maybe five evenings per week we spend 20 to 30 min while I give her a simultaneous nipple/labia massage and she massages my penis. During this time my penis swells to a size I would not have imaged 10 years ago. Sometimes we finish with intercourse and orgasms.

    • Marriage Heat says:

      TJK, we'd love it if you'd submit a story about this practice, maybe with more details on the two types of sex you mentioned here (adrenalin vs. oxytocin) and what position you have discovered to pleasure one another this way.

    • A Better Pastime says:

      Hi King, and thank you for your reply! I usually just do it when I think about it, which is when I'm sitting: office, and driving are the places where I get the most amount "rep" done'. It's just like any other form of exercise; you have to just do it as you will that it is easy to drop the routine. Church on Sunday during the sermon seems to be the place where the most of amount of reps. Sitting cross-legged seems to give you a tighter squeeze due to more isolation of that muscle. When I do a series of reps, I tend to just do 20, to 30, or sometimes 50 at a time. I never really concentrate on holding the rep, or the squeeze, just quick squeeze and release but I in number and as often as possible. Also, drinking more water, or a lot of water really helps with the strength of the erection and is most notable in the early morning. Try looking up a YouTube video or just a Bing or Google search on Kegel as there is a lot out there. It just makes a difference. All improvements are great, I love the noticed improvement in the early morning erection, but I also really love the change in the consistency of my cum: from clear and runny to thick, creamy (almost billowy white cloud) and pure white. There's also the improvement in the cum shot, or the spurt. From more of a blurp to a pop-spout. I'm also masturbating, again, on a daily basis so as to give that muscle more time to "squeeze" as it were. You'll notice that if you do a kegel after masturbating that you can feel that the muscle is fatigued. This is a great time to do the kegel reps as you're starting to feel the "isolation" of the muscle in the rep, to borrow a weight lifting term. Thanks again King and hope that helps! All the best!

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