The “If Only” Club

Ladies – Never Postpone Happiness.
Being a good mate goes far beyond paying your husband compliments and wearing a sexy nightgown. It also means taking responsibility for your own happiness.

If you are a member of the “If Only” Club, you are robbing yourself of the only thing you can do something about. That is the “HERE AND NOW.”

If Only…. I was thinner
If Only…. we had more money
If Only…. we had more time
If Only…. the children were out of the house.
The If Only’s are endless!

Do not wait for tomorrow, start now. Make a difference in your life today. It is your responsibility to be happy.

Be open and talk to your husband when something is not right. Many women don’t confront their husbands because they are afraid of driving them away. They believe that peace and harmony are insurance against abandonment. It is quite the opposite. A woman who values herself and her needs gains the respect of her husband.

Respect yourself. If you do not respect yourself, chances are no one else will respect you either. Self-respect comes from being true to yourself, from feeling good about who you are. It comes from letting other people know how you truly feel. So be true to yourself. Confront those who hurt you. And complete your unfinished business. Abba Father has made you unique and special. Believe it!

STOP! Stop saying bad things about yourself. Stop breaking yourself down. You are actually criticizing your Loving Heavenly Father who created you! You are telling Him that He does not know what He is doing.

Action assignment

Share your feelings without attacking. Your feelings are never wrong. Stand behind them; just take out the “you.” Rather than saying things like, “You never give me any attention!” say, “I feel alone and need your attention.” Instead of saying, “You NEVER do anything in the house,” try “If you can give me a hand with this, I would love to give you some personal attention tonight.”

Make it safe for you to be told the truth. Tell your husband from now on you will never be angry if he tells you the truth.

Just say “no.” Practice saying “no” to activities that do not interest you, or that might upset you. (We guys sometimes have strange sexual requests.)

Don’t send mixed messages. Men are not good guessers. Be open and honest about what you want. Tell the truth.

Make a wish list. Get your husband to make one too and discuss it. Share desires and fantasies. It can truly enrich your marriage.

Be playful. Use pet names or baby talk. Be aware, though, that some guys hate that! Play games together to release the child inside you.

May God bless you as you pour yourself into making your marriage a delight to you and your spouse. Remember, too, that a delightful marriage is something your friends will want to imitate.

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7 replies
  1. ClimaXX says:

    I want to make a suggestion. Print some copies of this article, put it in envelopes and then give it to your friends. Who knows? You might just bring some healing and/or joy to a friend.

  2. Fiftyfitfidelity says:

    We have been more open to each other recently, but these are great talking points and advice for men as well as women. I'm not shy but I have a hard time either being too eager for things (both sex and anything relationship speaking) or reserved. I will use some of this this weekend. Thanks!

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