Waiting- Taking So Long

I am a Christian female, 37 years old, single, and a virgin. From early childhood, I was taught to keep myself until marriage, and I have held on to that so far. I also strongly advocate for this. The challenge is that I never expected I would stay single this long.

For the past two years, I have had off and on seasons of intense craving for intimacy with that one man. It has led me to this site and to some other sites that were not the healthiest for me. That has nearly pushed me into engaging in some form of intimacy with the opposite sex.

I know that God is a good Father and has the best plan for me. But sometimes, like now, it gets hard. I get consumed with thoughts of intimacy, not just sex. I pray for strength to hang in there. I’m praying that the wonderful man shows up much sooner than later. If he doesn’t, I may go crazy!

Thanks for reading, and for your prayers. I will take any encouragement or advice you can offer.

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7 replies
  1. Fiftyfitfidelity says:

    We will pray for you on your journey and that the right person comes into your life. Keep your heart open and take some chances on breaking through someone's exterior just a little. We all hide behind something, it's a element of protection for our heart and our being. God Bless you for opening up to this site and others.

  2. Lovegrace says:

    Maybe try one of those Christian dating sites. Many people/couples I know have met their spouses there. Appearance should not matter but maybe look at how you care for your appearance; are you always wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt; do you wear makeup, or make sure your clean with clean teeth; workout and eat healthy? Women in the Bible used oils and fragrances to attract men-Esther. They weren't lazy and they persued men sometimes- Ruth. You may be all of these things but just throwing that out there. Most importantly, date Jesus until you find that special someone. Meaning, spend time praying and reading the Bible…. focus on doing works for the kingdom and God will bless you for that. Praying for you!

  3. hottyflygirl says:

    Hey. Thanks for your honesty and openness to share such a personal thing! That is a really tough thing to continue to fight with year after year. I admire you strength. Please stay strong and don’t settle for less than you deserve! I was in a bad place once where I almost did some things I would have regretted sexually. I had to cut things out that were negative influences (including porn) and I ended up taking up running as a hobby to get out some physical energy. I am here if you need to talk more. I will be praying. You are doing amazing and should be an inspiration to all of us to keep doing the right thing (not the easy thing)

  4. JAM777 says:

    My heart hurts for you! I feel a similar issue. I'm 29 and I'm also single and a virgin. I am happy and grateful that I have kept myself for my future wife, definitely God there. I also feel a deep desire for intimacy with a woman and have come close to wanting to step across that line, but thankfully God has reminded me of what the right choices are.
    I have had several ladies that I have tried to pursue but get "friend-zoned" or "brother-zoned" before anything can happen.
    I have trouble from time to time wondering why God keeps shutting all the doors.
    I know it is hard but we must trust and wait on the Lord and His perfect plan. I will pray for you my friend! I know that the special man who gets to call you his wife one day will be blessed by your restraint and faithfulness!
    Hang in there, you are not alone! 🙂

  5. Micky_D says:

    May God continue to bless you and keep you always regardless of how hard it gets from time to time. I'm also on the same boat as you and have kept my sex life for the marriage bed to love, honor, and cherish that one woman God has set apart for me. Remain strong in the Lord and obedient to Him and He shall give you the desires of your heart.

  6. Aren says:

    Hang in there. I have a friend who rushed into a relationship because she thought she wouldn’t have something that felt 'more right' come along. She thought she should not let the opportunity in front of her pass by. Now she is married, and even though they are sexually active, because she rushed instead of waiting, she doesn’t have intimacy along with that physical contact. So hang in there. I can’t imagine how difficult it can become, but you’ll be glad that you did.

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