Tech Flirtation

I found this site a little over a year ago when I was looking for ways to spice things up. I started reading some stories to my husband, especially when I was horny and thought he needed a nudge in that direction. The stories never failed to be “uplifting,” if you know what I mean!

The stories about using technology clicked with me. Things like sending text photos, videos, and using FaceTime. I’m not really a techie person but I do use my iPhone. One time, my husband was working on a job site mostly by himself for a few weeks. That gave me an idea. I wasn’t quite brave enough to send photos yet. Instead, I decided to make him an audio text.

I was also fairly new at the art of masturbation due to my upbringing. My husband knew I had been experimenting and getting much better at pleasing myself. However, I had never let him see me or participate.

I got my lube out, my lelo Mona vibe, and my womanizer clitoral vibe. I began to play, working myself up. I waited until I was about to orgasm and then turned the recorder on. I began to moan loudly as I came hard. Just the thought of him listening got me hot! After I caught my breath I typed him a text. The text said, “I made you a little surprise!” Then I hit send and waited anxiously for his response.

A few minutes later he called me…he loved it! He wanted it to be longer so he could get off listening to it. So, being the loving wife that I am, a few days later I set out to make a better tape. This time I started the recorder and began talking to him.

“Oh baby, I’m so hot and horny. I wish you were here! I’m so wet and swollen. My pussy needs your big dick right now. I guess I will have to make do with this vibrator and dildo. But they aren’t as good as you.”

Meanwhile, I’m playing and working up to my orgasm. I said, “I bet your cock is so hard right now, isn’t it, baby? Unzip your pants for me now. I want you to stroke it as you listen to me jilling off. I’m getting close. Oh God, it feels so good! Stroke it harder. Harder! Faster! I want you to cum for me baby! Oh fuck, I’m cumming!” I scream and moan as I ride out my orgasm. As I catch my breath I whisper, “I love you, baby. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did! Bye, bye.”

I didn’t hear from him for a while. Let’s just say he was taking care of business. Then he called me to thank me. I think I sent him another audio a week later. Then I upped my game. I sent him a photo of my pussy with a vibrator inside. I said, “I better get a hot photo back.” A few minutes later I got this really hot picture. His jeans were unzipped and his balls and hard cock were standing at attention. I was so turned on I had to have some play time.

I was getting more brave and enjoying this game. Next, I sent him a video of me sliding a dildo in and out until I came for him. I must say I was afraid I might hit a wrong button and send to the wrong person. That would be horrific! I said, “I want a video back.” A few minutes later he sent a short video stroking his big hard on. But, he didn’t cum for me. I said I was disappointed, that I needed to see him cum!

I was in a store running some errands. There were several people around the aisle where I was shopping. My phone dinged that I had a text. I opened the text and had to move to the end of the aisle so no one could see or hear. Much to my delight there it was! His creamy seed was erupting for my enjoyment! I hurried through checkout and went to the car and watched it again. I drove home, took off my pants, watched the video and stroked my clit to orgasm.

Thank you MH for adding new ways to spice things up. We have saved some of those videos to watch again when we can’t be together. Since then we’ve sent each other numerous photos and videos. Definitely something I never thought I would do, but I’m so glad I took the step!

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40 replies
  1. Tohimbetheglory says:

    Very hot! I love the fact that you took the initiative to spice things up,and were willing to go further with it. This story reminded me of one time my wife and I were in a fun mood. I got in the car while she was still at home, we started to text sexy pictures. Once I found a quiet, somewhat secure place to park, we FaceTimed each other. She here on our bed playing with her personal massager and me grabbing my own dick in the car in broad daylight. Let's just say the excitement of semi-public, and watching my wife on the phone, it didn't take long for either one of us to cum and cum a lot!! I may have to wake up my wife and attack her. Nothing better than to watch the wife's hot pussy on the phone unless you can enjoy the real thing live.😇

  2. SecondMarge says:

    I guess that is what they mean by a “Brave New World”

    It’s great that you pleased each other. I guess I’m too old to reach that level.

    Reminds me of the wife that sent a picture of her breasts and accidentally hit reply all and her husbands parents and siblings along with her own were treated to her beauty.

    Watching and being watched is a big part of arrousal these days. Well written, thanks for sharing.

    • lttlb says:

      "Reminds me of the wife that sent a picture of her breasts and accidentally hit reply all and her husbands parents and siblings along with her own were treated to her beauty."

      Oh dear, that sounds like an 'oops.'

      But I don't know what is worse — accidentally sending such a picture oneself with an errant key click, or… with what happened to some family members of my business partner. It might have happened to an uncle of his, I don't recall exactly; I think the couple that it happened to was in their sixties. If I'm remembering the story correctly, this couple had some pictures on their i-Pad that they projected onto a screen to show their family. Maybe vacation pictures, that kind of thing. Unbeknownst to them, their 'treacherous' iPad had accidentally clicked a picture of the wife walking into the bedroom from the restroom without any clothing on. They didn't take the picture, they had no idea how the picture was taken. All they knew was that it was on their iPad. The only thing they could figure out later was that the iPad had fallen off its perch, and must've fallen in a way that the picture got taken at exactly the wrong moment. They were completely unaware that it was in the line up of pictures that got shown to the family. I can only imagine the flurry of activity (and embarrassment) in that room when the errant picture appeared on the screen.

      Technology can provide some additional fun, but it sure can be a curse too.

  3. LoveMyWife56 says:

    SH,

    Thanks for another exciting story of your sex life. I love receiving sexy messages and nude pictures from my wife. She is not real comfortable with sending me pics, afraid they may become public somehow. We have tried phone sex when one of us is away, but we have struggled to do it well. Anyway, it sounds like you and your husband have the sexting down pat. So glad to hear the detail you give, and so happy you are a happy married couple. God bless you.

  4. HappyHubby says:

    Wow, Southern Heat. Great Story, That is one of my all time fantasies – My wife doing what you described for me! Now off to give her some encouragement to read this and get some ideas!

  5. Max says:

    Cool. I've thought about doing that. Actually, I have been brave enough recently to send a photo of my hard on to my wife. My text said, "I'm waiting!" lol Fun stuff. Good story.

  6. Flying Hubby says:

    Loved it. We spend a lot of time apart during summers. Last year we took advantage of FaceTime and it was amazing. Helped a lot with the being apart.

  7. Southernheat says:

    Second Marge your never too old! I’m 56 and things are better than ever! Yes sometimes I’m afraid to hit send I check and recheck to make sure I don’t send to the wrong person.
    What you can do and I do this sometimes I take the picture or video and then I hand him my phone at an opertune time and let him watch while I’m taking a bath or getting ready for bed! Sometimes since he’s more of a tech guy I hand him the phone and let him send it to his phone for later. Just learned how to put photos in my notes under a separate file then I can delete from my camera in case someone grabs my phone. Not as safe as a special app but much harder for anyone to find.

  8. lonely guy says:

    I’ve asked my wife to do this and she says it’s inappropriate. I’ve tried sending her pictures before and she told me tha it does nothing for her and it’s just gross. Do you think it’s unreasonable in a marriage to request this?

    • PatientPassion says:

      I'm certain there are others here who can give you better answers with more knowledge and more experience behind them than I can. However, I would encourage you to adopt (or maintain) a patient, loving, no-pressure attitude and simply ask "Why?" Show her you aren't upset, but that you want to understand her and her feelings. Communication is cliche, but for good reason: it really is important! If you two can work together to understand why she feels a certain way about something, then you can begin to work together to dismantle any underlying problem or misguided assumption that could be causing her to feel that way.

      I believe spouses are called to love each other sacrificially, which includes indulging in one another's sexual desires (as long as they're biblical), even if it's not necessarily one spouse's favorite thing. I don't think your request is unreasonable, but you should realize and accept that even if she comes to realize it's not inappropriate, it may still not be something she enjoys.

      I'll let someone else with more marital experience and wisdom take it from here! I'll be praying for your situation! 🙂

    • PacMan says:

      I like PatientPassion’s thoughts about creating a no-pressure zone. Some things might be legit “gross” or “over the line” for a spouse. It’s easy to talk about sacrificial love in the context of the “other person” – like “I have the expectation for you to love me sacrificially.” But in reality that attitude is quite selfish. When it comes to sacrificial love, it always begins with ME – am I being as loving as possible. Maybe I’m called to lay down my fantasy or desire in an effort to show grace to my spouse. “Love is patient. Love is kind.”

    • PatientPassion says:

      Thanks for the clarification PacMan! I didn't express it clearly enough, but I'm in total agreement that the idea of "sacrificial love" goes both ways. And you can't expect your spouse to start, YOU have to be the one to start. Husbands especially are called to do this because they represent Christ in the symbol of marriage. This means they should be the first to act in love toward their wives, who represent the Church. 1 John 4:19 says "We (the church/bride) love because he (Christ/husband) first loved us" (NIV, my parenthetical references). As difficult as it often is, loving without demanding or expecting anything in return is Christ's example that we are called to follow. (Of course, since husbands and wives are called to love EACH OTHER, I think it's more than okay for the wife to act first. The Bible just seems to place more responsibility on the husband here.)

  9. Southernheat says:

    Well said patientpassion. Everything must be approached in a loving way. If she feels pressure or thinks it’s demanding she will shut down and dig her heels in on the issue. Just discuss with her why she feels this way about it. Open your heart and share why it would mean so much to you. Could be how she grew up thinking things were dirty or if there was any bad experience in her younger years. Find out her fantasies and go out of your way to fulfill them. The more love you pour out and lavish on her the more she will give back to you. Seeking marriage counsel is never a bad thing. We can all enhance our marriage. And the number one thing you can do is put God first in your marriage and pray for your marriage and for your spouse. That’s what we all need to do. Hope this helps!

    • lonely guy says:

      Thanks. Yes, she grew up the church learning that sex is dirty. We’ve been married 10 years now-been to counseling…read all the books. It’s a barrier that she struggles with. We have sex maybe 4 times a year.

      Not sure why I torture myself with this site thinking about all the sex that other people are having.

      I’m resigned to the fact that it probably won’t happen for us and I’m choosing to love her, be faithful to her, and pray that God can bring us together in lots of other ways.

    • CrazyHappyLoved says:

      I wonder if some of the tamer stories on MH – curated by you and exemplifying the love, closeness, mutual servanthood and mutual pleasure of the sexual union between husband and wife – could help her see that God made sex for marriage and sex is GOOD! That desiring her husband IS loving him in ONE of the ways God created and rewards with increased unity of heart, soul, Spirit.

  10. lonely guy says:

    Yes, I’ve shown her some very tame stories on here and I was told that this was a “porn site.”

    It is what it is. I think I just need to change my expectations of what intimacy in marriage means. She wants a hug each morning and nothing else. I’m incredibly attracted to her-she’s smoking hot in all kinds of ways and an awesome mother to our kids. I just never imagined that I would have to masturbate in the bathroom at night while thinking of her, just so I can fall asleep.

    • MarriageHeat says:

      Praying for you both. This seems to be on a lot of people's hearts. Many of our upcoming advice posts focus on similar situations. But I think your heart attitude toward her, the desire to love her the way she needs despite not having your needs satisfied, is one that God treasures and that emulates His sacrificial love of us. I pray that He rewards it in this life as well as eternally.

    • texasman76 says:

      Lonely Guy, I have been married 26 years. We went to counseling twice over that time frame. We had sex consistently once a week until about 2012. From that time frame it started decreasing steadily with it being one sided (me) with no foreplay. My wife became consumed with our kids' lives and her drive and interest in anything sexual has steadily gone downhill. It has now been about two years since we had sex. We NEVER kiss passionately. Just a peck. I do tons of housework, compliment her, take her on dates, etc. When we pray together at night I ask God (with her listening) to restore our intimacy. She refuses to go to any other counseling and likes things as they are. I am going to counseling on my own. We were both raised in Christian households but hers had a negative view of sex. I have bought her books over the years ("Intimate Issues" and things like that) but she never reads them. I am so tired of masturbating and miss the intimacy so much. She is a wonderful mother and everyone at church praises her (as do I). It's so hard emotionally because it almost makes me feel guilty for wanting sex. We are only 52. When we were young, especially before kids, she tried really hard and would surprise me with sex at lunch and romantic things. I always heard that as women aged and approached menopause their drive skyrockets. Mine did just the opposite. Maybe you and I can encourage one another.

  11. Southernheat says:

    Texasman76 I’m so sorry for you pain and feeling a sense of rejection. Sounds like your wife has some issues from how she was raised and counseling could help but she has to want change. You said she was more into doing things a few years back. Has she had hormone testing and thyroid testing done. She is menopausal and everything goes haywire . The libido just stops totally. Sex becomes painful without enough estrogen and with low testosterone just no desire. I’ve shared my story in menopause. For about three years sex was very difficult and I was trying. Got the hormones working again And now sex is great again. We really had to work through it. I will be praying for your marriage.

  12. HeSaid-SheSaid says:

    Lonely guy and Texasman76, I feel your pain. I second what Southernheat has said about thyroid testing and hormone levels, with those out of whack, libido all but disappears. But do your research in regards to thyroid, I don't know what everything means here, but you need to get a basic TSH check and get the T3 and T4 checked. A result of 2 or under is ideal, but even with a slight increase a doctor may say everything is normal when in fact it's not. My wife battled for nearly a year to get her doctor to issue the proper tests (Canada), but finally got a nurse practitioner to issue them. She found she was slightly elevated and has had it corrected and she is doing better now with libido.

    But that's just one factor. As mentioned, your wives pasts and beliefs play a huge part. Being taught at an early age that sex is dirty is a hard thing to reverse. Ask her to show you biblically how married sex is dirty. Perhaps with biblical research, she will see that married sex is beautiful and necessary. If there was any sexual abuse in the past, then she needs to get counseling for that.

    I'm sorry that you both are in sexless marriages, and yes, sex 4 times a year is considered sexless. I encourage you guys to have open, honest, frank, loving talks with your spouse about how you think and feel and what you expect. Be solid. You're both grown-ups. To be completely honest, as a married man you have a right to expect sex in marriage. No one gets married thinking that sex won't be part of the deal. I doubt many people would get married if they knew beforehand that their spouse would not be an active sex partner. Sex is crucial to God's "one flesh" ideal, I believe. Good marital sex is indeed a superglue that holds marriages together.

    About 2 years ago my wife proposed that we just be room or housemates and have a sexless marriage. I told her I could never agree to that. Like you guys, I did what I could to "encourage" her to love me more and desire sex. But I soon realized that simply doing my part was not enough. She had issues that were solely hers that only she could change. Yes, I still prayed for her and continued to love on her, but it was she who needed to take the necessary steps to get help and get better. But I have to be honest and admit that I got to a such a point of frustration and despair for our marriage and sex life that I told her that if she didn't make changes, and soon, that I didn't know how much longer I could last in our relationship. I thought I would never consider divorce, but at that point the stress of the situation was getting to be too much. After I told her that and she processed that info, she started to make positive changes. She made lifestyle changes to reduce stress, got her thyroid and other health issues in order, and got coaching from a godly Christian woman who had been in a similar situation. All I can say is that as of today she is a very different woman and wife. She is becoming the woman I thought I married. Sex is far more exciting and getting better, she is letting go of certain hang-ups and is growing in sexual confidence.

    I know it has been mentioned on this site before, and it bears repeating here. If you don't know about them already, I encourage you to check out these podcasts done by Christian people, "Sexy Marriage Radio" with Dr. Corey Allen. Within the last 20 or so episodes they have talked specifically about your issues, as well as in older episodes. Also check out "Delight your Marriage" with Belah-rose. She has gone through some tough stuff and has plenty to offer to wives.

    God bless you both, am praying with you.

    • lonely guy says:

      Texasman76-I hear you brother. I never thought the most intimate part of my day would be finding out what panties my wife is wearing when I do the laundry. I don’t really feel like a man anymore.

      I feel so stuck. I’m 42 and have never had oral sex. She’s always said it’s too gross which I interpret as “I’m gross.” If there are women out there reading this: your husbands don’t care about how good dinner is, or anything else. They want to be close to you. They want you to want them.
      I’ve gone through periods of “maybe if I get in really good shape she’ll want me.” Nope. “Maybe if I make more money she’ll want me.” Nope.

      All of the doctors, counseling, etc doesn’t change the simple fact that some people are just wired differently. I took my wife on an elaborate vacation this past summer to a tropical island. Every minute of every day was a date. No kids-just us. If it can’t happen there it’s certainky not happening here.

    • lonely guy says:

      He said-she said – I hadn’t thought to go the divorce route. I feel like we are already roommates. I don’t want a divorce mainly because of the impact on our kids and frankly, because I’m still madly in love with my wife. I’m afraid if I suggested that, it would be life-shattering moment for her as well and I couldn’t stand hurting her like that. But, if it helped our marriage long term, it might be worth a try.

  13. HeSaid-SheSaid says:

    I actually want to change/add to what I said earlier. Instead of saying "as a married man (or woman for that matter) you have a right to expect sex in marriage", what I should have said is, in marriage there is a reasonable expectation for sex. When we talks about "rights", waters can get murky fast, so my bad for saying that. Wether its a right or not is not the point, it is more about "are we meeting the needs of our spouse, especially in the bedroom?".

    Happiness is a choice. A person can be in a rotten situation, but still choose joy. It's a matter of attitude and personal response. You do not determine the level of happiness your spouse operates at, that is their own responsibility. No matter how hard you try, you cannot bring another person joy.

    Love is a choice. Love is a verb. My wife used to say to me, "if you do such and such, I might have more love towards you." So, I would do those things, but she wouldn't have any more love towards me. I finally clued in that I cannot make anyone love me. It is their own choice if they want to love me. Sure, I can be a real nice guy and do all kinds of nice things for people and they might have some respect for me and like me, but it is up to them whether or not they will love me. Thinking I can make someone love me through my actions is a trap and a lie. You have probably heard this expression before and it's one I agree with when it comes to your spouse or even your children when they do something that angers or annoys you and it goes like this, "I love you, but I don't really like you very much at this moment". So true. You cannot earn love, it is a free gift that is given to you from others and vice versa.

    Lonely guy, be very careful with that divorce thing, please. I'm like you. I still and always have loved my wife. We also have children that I don't want to cause pain for through a divorce. It's something I don't really want to do. But what I did have to come to grips with, is admit that divorce IS an option. It may not be the best option and one I may never do, but the real fact of the matter is that it is an option. Don't make divorce a threat, but you have to be honest with her about the realities of your marriage. I understand you don't want to hurt your wife, but also know that we invariably hurt one another from time to time. Is she not in fact hurting you by withholding sex? Find a way to communicate to her the hurt she is causing you, and try to do it without being retaliatory, needy, pouty, or coming across as a victim. You have to do so in strength and care, maybe even in a matter of fact manner. As I said before, and it is something Dr. Corey Allen teaches, be a solid person. Marriage is not a 50/50 thing. Each person is expected to bring 100% to the relationship. Did Jesus Christ do things half way? Nope, He was/is all in, and so should we be.

    Also, sex wasn't our only issue (although a very big one for me); there are/were many other issues. I think for me, sex is a very primal thing, a part of my being, something that I just don't want to have as a solo experience only. I want for my spouse to "know" me sexually and I her.

    There are many myths and lies we buy into regarding marriage, and we need to combat those lies with truth. Perhaps I will make a post about those myths.

    • PatientPassion says:

      I agree with most of this, but I have to take issue with the idea that "divorce IS an option." Practically speaking, sure it's an option, people do it all the time. But biblically, that's not quite true. Based on Jesus' teaching in Matthew 19:1-9, the only acceptable reason for divorce is "sexual immorality," and it's not clear that depriving a spouse of sex is included in that. Outside of that, 19:6 says "…what God has joined together, let no one separate" (NIV).

      I suppose there could still be ways you could bring up divorce, but it would have to be in a way that recognizes it will not actually happen. Maybe it could be used to show the dark, horrible places your mind goes as an illustration of the deep hurt that has been caused. While you never intend to go through with it, and don't present it as a threat, it's still a powerful image that may cause a shift in understanding.

  14. lttlb says:

    @lonely guy: “I don’t really feel like a man anymore.”

    My eyes fill with tears to read accounts such as these, as they are unfathomable to me.

    Dear sir, if you’ve truly done all the things you’ve said, if you’ve loved in spite of not having it returned, if you’ve put others before self, if you’ve seen good even in one giving something less than good in return, then you are far more a ‘man’ than most who claim to be.

    I'm praying for you, and am humbled by anyone’s actions that emulate those of the Lord Jesus.

    • lonely guy says:

      Lttlb-thank you for your kind words. My hope in writing this is that it inspires other couples just how damaging withholding sex can be to your spouse. I’ve gone through a gamut of emotions these past 10 years ranging from anger to severe depression. I’ve remained faithful to my wife, don’t use porn, and have actually felt guilty about masturbating thinking of her, as if lusting after my wife is a sin. If she’s changing clothes now, I usually put my head down or close my eyes because seeing her naked makes me resentful that it’s not really something I can have or pursue. I know that quick view is the end of it for me.
      I’ll say one final thing to other spouses: when you reject your husband/wives advances it’s breaking off a little piece of their heart. Eventually that heart gardens or breaks and you’re destroying their self confidence. I wouldn’t even know how to try to initiate intimacy at this point because I’m so afraid of being rejected and the sleepless nights that ensue, it’s not worth it anymore. I think it’s okay to say no, but you have to give them a reason and a makeup date AND hold to it. Also, my wife told me early on “I don’t know why God made sex so messy-it’s just gross” (meaning my orgasm). That sticks with me. I’ve told her and counselors how I felt about that statement she made 2 weeks after we got married and how much that hurts. Spouses need to be careful of their words…

  15. HeSaid-SheSaid says:

    PatientPassion, in no way, am I trying to endorse, encourage, or even suggest that someone take the route of divorce. God takes marriage seriously and so should we. The fact of the matter is that as fallen human beings we all daily do things that are outside of God's will and biblical instruction.

    I just have to be honest and real and admit that as my marriage was in a miserable and dark state, that is where my mind started to go, separation and possibly divorce. I wasn't threatening my wife with divorce, but rather trying to warn her I couldn't live in the same house and simply be roommates, it was beyond what I believed I could handle. However, if I dug deep into God and His strength, I'm sure it would be possible to live in that situation until my spouse turned around.

    In my opinion, withholding sex could fall under the category of abuse, and/or neglect. I also believe withholding sex is unfaithfulness. Its unfaithfulness to the covenant marriage vows we give one another. God expects us to consummate our marriage and on a regular ongoing basis. If one partner is breaking their end of the covenant, they are breaking faith, and where there is broken faith there is lack of trust, and the covenant relationship falls apart.

    Why do I say "divorce IS an option"? We saw a Christian counselor many years ago who asked us what our options were. We both said divorce wasn't an option (a common thing many Christians say), so what was left was staying status quo, getting worse, or getting better. He actually required we admit divorce was an option. Not an option we would actually pursue, mainly because of our Christian faith, but an option nonetheless. Wasnt sure at the time why he made us admit that. But looking back I have two conclusions: one, it's a form of reverse psychology, and two, its a step out of denial. A person and/or relationship cannot heal while denial exists. In other words, if I can't admit divorce is an option, what else am I not owning up to?? Stepping out of denial is always the first step towards healing. Without it, you're stuck forever.

    My wife and I stayed in denial for years over many things, which in turn continued to hurt our marriage. A few years ago we finally got tired of the hurt and pain and started on the path to healing. We did it at different speeds, and likely still have stuff to work through, but we are finally at a place that is much healthier.

    • PatientPassion says:

      In trying to be more concise than I usually am, I may have come across more bluntly than I meant to. I knew you weren't suggesting divorce was a GOOD option, but I did want to try to explaining my view on how it both is and isn't an option in different ways. I analyze in a balanced way, so I think of things in terms of "this, but that." My intent was to say something like "Yes divorce IS an option, BUT biblically it's a terrible thing so we should act with the utmost carefulness around it." I simply felt like the "but" part needed a little extra reinforcement. 🙂

      And while I used the word "you" a lot in the second paragraph, I meant it in a hypothetical sense and not directly specifically at you or anyone else.

      I'm intrigued by the idea presented by the counselor you mentioned. In addition to your points about that, I also wonder if the admission that divorce is an option, without any intent to pursue it, could help bring you face to face with an ugly possibility and drive you hard in the other direction toward improvement.

  16. HeSaid-SheSaid says:

    PP, I agree with your last sentence and believe that to be a desired outcome. We have friends (Not Christian ) who are in the middle of an ugly separation and pending divorce. He sprung it on her rather unexpectedly. Its hurting us just to watch what is playing out. So sad.

  17. HeSaid-SheSaid says:

    Just had to make one final comment in regards to this story. I read it to my wife the other night. Today, while at work, I noticed she sent me a video. It was a 2-minute video of her masturbating with her new "Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation". Whew, what a treat to receive in the middle of the day.
    When I got home she met me at the door with a silly grin and asked if I got her message. I played dumb. That only served to get her more worked up 'til I finally admitted that I had seen it. Then she proceeded to tell me that she almost posted the vid by mistake on a social media account for everyone to see. Basically, she was two clicks away from death by embarrassment. Thankfully she caught herself in time.

  18. Southernheat says:

    Glad my story got her fired up! Also glad she didn’t send to social media by mistake. Definitely my biggest fear. I guess it does fuel the excitement. Be careful and keep having fun. The article got me a new video from my man too!!!!

  19. MaxLoving says:

    I've been through this type of thing. Not suggesting I have the answers to anyone's situations here, though I might have an insider's knowledge, but these issues can be due to many and various things. Each case can be different as we are complicated people, and my wife will not be your wife. That said, i am one who has an up and coming article on this specific topic.

    I'll quote a 3rd century Church Father on the topic of sex, St. John Chrysostom. You know, those prudish Church Fathers:

    And how become they one flesh? As if thou shouldest take away the purest part of gold, and mingle it with other gold; so in truth here also the woman as it were receiving the richest part fused by pleasure, nourisheth it and cherisheth it, and withal contributing her own share, restoreth it back a Man. And the child is a sort of bridge, so that the three become one flesh, the child connecting, on either side, each to other. For like as two cities, which a river divides throughout, become one, if a bridge connect them on both sides, so is it in this case; and yet more, when the very bridge in this case is formed of the substance of each. As the body and the head are one body; for they are divided by the neck; but not divided more than connected, for it, lying between them brings together each with the other. And it is the same as if a chorus that had been severed should, by taking one part of itself from this quarter, and the other again from the right, make one; or as these when come into close rank, and extending hands, become one; for the hands extended admit not of their being two. Therefore to wit He said with accuracy of expression, not “they shall be one flesh” but joined together “into one flesh” (Genesis 2:2, Sept.), namely, that of the child. What then? when there is no child, will they not be two? Nay, for their coming together hath this effect, it diffuses and commingles the bodies of both. And as one who hath cast ointment into oil, hath made the whole one; so in truth is it also here.

    I know that many are ashamed at what is said, and the cause of this is what I spoke of, your own lasciviousness, and unchasteness. The fact of marriages being thus performed, thus depraved, hath gained the thing an ill name: for “marriage is honorable, and the bed undefiled.” (Hebrews 13:4.) Why art thou ashamed of the honorable, why blushest thou at the undefiled? This is for heretics, this is for such as introduce harlots thither. For this cause I am desirous of having it thoroughly purified, so as to bring it back again to its proper nobleness, so as to stop the mouths of the heretics. The gift of God is insulted, the root of our generation; for about that root there is much dung and filth. This then let us cleanse away by our discourse. Endure then a little while, for he that holdeth filth must endure the stench. I wish to show you that ye ought not to be ashamed at these things, but at those which ye do; but thou, passing by all shame at those, art ashamed at these; surely then thou condemnest God who hath thus decreed. Shall I tell how marriage is also a mystery of the Church? As Christ came into the Church, and she was made of him, and he united with her in a spiritual intercourse, “for,” saith one, “I have espoused you to one husband, a pure virgin.” (2 Corinthians 11:2.) And that we are of Him, he saith, of His members, “and of His flesh.” Thinking then on all these things, let us not cast shame upon so great a mystery. Marriage is a type of the presence of Christ, and art thou drunken at it? Tell me; if thou sawest an image of the king, wouldest thou dishonor it? By no means.

    John Chrysostom, Homilies on 1 Colossians, Homily 12, Verse 18)

    [From MH: Yeah!!!! This is exactly what MarriageHeat is all about!]

  20. lttlb says:

    @lonely guy: "Spouses need to be careful of their words… you’re destroying their self confidence."

    Very much agree with what you said here. Women have enormous 'power' to build or destroy a husband with her words (or tone of delivery). I'm assuming it's very similar going the other way, but would leave commenting on that to one of the ladies here.

    The remark about sex being messy/gross took me back to my wedding night. It took us a couple nights to get around to actually 'doing the deed.' On the first night or two, let's just say it was two virgins doing some 'field research' on the 'equipment.' When my wife saw me have an orgasm the first time, which indeed made a glorious 'mess,' she uttered only one word: "Cool!" As I think on it now, the word 'cool' isn't even one she typically uses day-to-day. But that's what she said. I didn't think on it so much then (I was a bit preoccupied with marital exhilaration, shall we say), but that one word was her sweet way of building her husband. I think I need to thank her for saying that… It's something she's probably long forgotten, but I haven't. 🙂

    • lonely guy says:

      Do you think it’s okay to buy a flesh light or a toy for myself to use? Do you think it’s sinful to keep that from my wife? She wouldn’t approve, but she also doesn’t approve of me masturbating thinking of her. I have no other release, so I’m kind of stuck in this weird place of obedience to my wife’s wishes, yet there’s no intimacy with her either.

      Can anyone recommend a brand of male masturbators? I’ve never tried any of them.

  21. HeSaid-SheSaid says:

    @Lonelyguy, the Super Head Honcho. It does not have a pussy on the end, but a mouth. Its meant to simulate oral, and it feels great. Needs lube of course.
    I don't think keeping it from your wife would be a good idea, especially if she found out later.

    You know, if she has problem with you thinking of her while masturbating, thats her problem, not yours. What else would she rather you think? Does she not want you doing it at all? If so, I say she has an issue with being a controlling person.
    Here's what I would do if I were you, although she may not take kindly to it. I would grab my masturbation sleeve and say to her, "Honey, I'm going into the bedroom now and have some sex. I'd much rather have it with you than by myself, so you're welcome to come join me. But either way, sex is going to happen cause I need release, just the way God designed it."

  22. CrazyHappyLoved says:

    While it is true that God said for us to "submit to *one another* in love", nowhere in the Bible does God call a man to be obedient to his wife. It fact, that's what got Adam in trouble in the first place. He listened to his wife *instead of* God and did what she wanted him to do. You have a place of headship over her in God's eyes and with that comes responsibility for her before Him.

    I'd say don't be mean, but don't let her tell you you are wrong for wanting to have sex with the one person on earth you have committed yourself to. Be willing to openly stand up for what's right. Sex between a husband and wife is right!

    God has allowed quite a challenge into your life. How would He like to see you grow in Christ-likeness through it? Pray, yes, for her heart to change, fantasize and hope for that day with faith! But speak truth into her life and mind as well. Be willing to gently confront her wrong-headedness, daily if necessary and for as long as it takes. Do it with compassion, seeing her as the poor soul who's cheating herself out of right relationship, and do not allow yourself to feel like a victim. Be a warrior.

    You are in a battle. There is one who wants your wife to believe that this gift of God is wrong, or icky, or dirty, shameful, embarrassing. Pray and fight for the truth to win out, so that you can rejoice when it does. And you have to believe in that truth deep down before you can fight for it. Hurt feelings and fear are another weapon of the evil one to keep you in your bunker. Don't let him defeat you or your wife.

    *All preceding meant to be heard in the most loving and encouraging tone. I don't mean to preach, just remind you of what you probably already know but maybe needed to hear again?

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