Fighting the ED Monster (A)
I believe there are numerous causes of Erectile Dysfunction (ED – difficulty in having an erection and going soft while having sex). I am not a medical professional and cannot even try to give advice, but one of the causes of ED is an emotional one. I want to try and chat with the ladies who might have a husband who has a problem getting or maintaining an erection.
Let us be honest about the fact that many men have ED as they grow older, and this can cause havoc in a marriage if not handled correctly from both sides. Often this is linked to emotional reasons and feelings of not being wanted and desired by his wife. Often during a sexual encounter with his wife, something negative might happen that might cause an immediate loss of erection.
There are a few things that you can do that will be a great help to your husband, and maybe they will benefit you as well.
Make it your problem. Tell your husband that, from now on, his erections are not his problem, they are yours. It will take so much stress off his shoulders. I can just imagine the feeling that he can relax, and IF he does not have an erection now, that it is not his fault; he can actually relax and not feel a failure. On the other hand, his dear wife can try some of the suggestions that will follow.
Get a cock ring. This is such a wonderful cheap little toy. There are different sizes, so make sure you get the right one. When used correctly, it can be one of the greatest gifts to any man with ED problems. I very often use one, and my wife loves the extra girth and hardness that it creates.
Be casual about it. Don’t make it a biggy. Most men who suffer from ED will be just too eager to please their wife by oral sex or using a vibrator or encouraging her to masturbate for him. It will often have the desired effect of a nice hard cock.
Make love to his cock. Do not just try to make him cum. It becomes a race to have an orgasm before he loses his erection, and that is terrible. Take time to love that thing. Caress it. Rub it against your face. Touch it in sexy ways and make your husband aware of the fact that you enjoy him and want him just to enjoy your attention.
Say show me. From time to time, ask him to show you how he would masturbate if you were not home. Let him do a demo for you. While he is doing it, encourage him with what you say to him. You might even join him and make it even more exciting for you both.
ASK HIM what you can do to excite him. Men often have ideas and desires that they would enjoy from their wives. You might be surprised to hear what is in his head. It would work even better if you tell him earlier in the day that you want to make love to him and that you are going to ask him what special treat he would enjoy.
Make him watch his cock while you play with it. Tell him to sit or lie in a way that he can watch you. We all love our cocks, and we love it when we see you playing with it.
Tie his cock and balls. You can use just about anything to do this. A neck-tie, the soft ‘belt’ from your night-gown, some silky rope… You can bring it and ask him to help you get it nice and tight.
Play with his balls. Try not to make him feel that he has to ‘just get it up and have an orgasm.’ Play with his balls. Fondle them and use your nails very gently on them.
Play with his anus. Oh, ladies! This can be such a turn-on for your husband. Let him stand on his knees, and while your caress or finger his ass, you can pull his cock to the back between his legs and play with it. The chance of this being a massive turn-on and him having a great erection is exceptionally high. (Use lots of coconut oil.) Some surgical gloves might help many wives to make this part of their game.
Talk, Talk, Talk. You know the things that turn him on. Talk about those things to him. Talk about times where you had great sex. Say how his cock excites you. Tell him how it feels to touch him or what it feels like to have his cock inside you.
Here are just a few ideas of stuff to say:-
- I need your mouth on my pussy.
- Will you please suck my clit this evening?
- I want you to play with my nipples while I finger myself just for you.
- If I stand on my knees, will you please finger me and play with my ass?
- I want you to rub your face in my pussy juices, and then I want to lick it off your lips.
Please do not see this as the end of this short discussion. Please share your ideas and your problems. MH is not JUST for the successes in the bedroom, but also to help and ignite those couples who are not always having great sex.
I hope that we will have a lot of response from the ladies who will share things that they have found works for them from their OWN experience…
And from the guys that suffer from ED who will share what their needs are to handle the problem.
Encouraging him and not making him feel pressured. Just lots of hugging and kissing without expectation of anything else will usually be enough. If that doesn’t work then usually pleasuring myself with him watching telling him he doesn’t need to do anything. By the time I’m ready to Orgasm he is usually ready to get in the action. Or just telling him to lay back and relax and let me enjoy loving on him, and I make love to his cock. If he’s not focusing on trying to get and erection then that will usually work. If nothing we try works then I just reassure him that I love him and that it’s fun just snuggling and playing this time and next time will be better.
Tx SouthernHeat for sharing some great wisdom.
We’ve used a cock ring on occasion and taking bioidentical Testosterone. It definitely helps. I have to take hormones, why shouldn’t he?
A BIG YES to the Cock Ring. It is not just for guys with ED. It is a great toy to have.
Yes to bioidentical testosterone! The first thing a man should do when he has more than occasional ED is get his testosterone checked. Besides usually solving ED issues naturally, the other health benefits are enormous.
Lots of love and understanding combined with no pressure to perform. Give a man that and a loving touch. The rest will take care of itself.
Thanks for the post! God bless you and Stay Horny my friend.
❤ GG
Great Advice from All (story and comments) I wish my wife would do those things. 🙁
(King Arthur, we moved the rest of this comment to it's own advice-needed post, scheduled to publish tomorrow. We hope you'll get more responses that way.)
Thanks MH for all you do.
Was having problems Doctor put me on Tadalafil. Take it daily ready any time feel like a young man again! GoodRX makes it cheap; maybe this will help some. I was getting depressed, lost feelings and no sensation even when getting oral. Happy man and wife now!!! It’s back!
I'd think SecondMarge would comment here, based on her experieces…but she seems gone with the wind?
From someone who has suffered from this terrible condition I can only sympathise with you. However, there is a way through this and much of what you said above rings true for how Lucy and I finally kicked this condition out of our sex life. Eventually we went down the counselling route, which may not be for everyone but it was for us. If I can give you one tip that is not above it would be try Sensate focus techniques. Remove all penetration from your sex life for a set period time. Concentrate on other ways of pleasuring each other, massage, masturbation and oral sex. You may need to continue this for a length of time, maybe up to 3 months but during the period of non penetration you will learn so much about each other and the longing for both of you to give and receive the ultimate sexual act will grow and grow like it did before your first time together. May I suggest you read "Ed Comes to Visit, Again" which was an account of our journey through this terrible condition which thankfully is now under control.