A Massage with a Happy Ending

Any good massage therapist has one thing on top of his or her list of professional ethics, and that is to avoid any exchange of sexual energy with their clients. So, if you go for a massage and you get any sort of a sexual vibe with your Massage Therapist, I strongly suggest you find a new one, EXCEPT if it is your spouse who is giving you the massage.

Please note: I am a firm believer in a monogamous marriage and also that all sex is meant for within the confinement and safety of marriage. Therefore, the only appropriate context for a sex massage is a consensual sex act between married adults.

So I recommend that spouses learn how to provide an excellent sexual massage, giving pleasure with the focus on their spouse’s desires and needs.

So, let’s start with some erotic tips:

Properly warm up the space; cold and sexy don’t mix for several reasons. It’s unpleasant, it blocks the ability of the receiver to concentrate on the massage, and it diverts blood away from the important areas of the body. An excellent accessory for any type of a naked massage is an electric blanket/pad to put underneath your spouse.  Also, make very sure that the surface is padded with cushions or even a thick blanket.

One crucial thing about a good, erotic (and orgasmic) massage is this: lubricant, lubricant, and more lubricant.  If you are going to expose sex organs to oils (and of course you are), make sure to use oils that are natural, skin-safe, and preferably scent-free (to set the mood, place an essential oil diffuser or a scented candle nearby instead). Virgin olive, coconut, almond, and cold-pressed sunflower or canola oil are appropriate massage oils. We prefer coconut oil every time.  It might be the least expensive, but it is the most effective.

Remember that a sex massage should feel different than getting a sports massage treatment for a back injury. The pressure should be such to prepare your partner for some hot sex and not remind them of a recurring problem with an inflamed tendon. It is my conviction that subtle is always so much better than being physically intense in sex. The real intensity always comes from doing it right, not doing it strong.

Also, always treat your partner’s body as a whole. Start on either side of the body and make sure to cover the body head to toe before putting any focused attention on erogenous zones, especially sex organs. Do not avoid brushing them with a light touch, but do not linger in the area in the beginning.  The idea is to have your spouse waiting and desiring those soft touches on the sexiest areas, but wondering, “Why are you not touching me? I need you to touch me there!”

Rhythm is your friend—it allows you to smoothly change sexual gears while switching back and forth between highly charged areas and lower intensity ones. Put on some non-invasive background music that’s both melodic and rhythmic. It will remind you to keep your moves at a nice constant pace.

As you explore your spouse’s body, make sure to observe subtle reactions to touch. Notice changes in breathing patterns and things like trembling in the abdominal area, which can be a reliable indicator of arousal. A twitching movement can suggest both pleasant and unpleasant sensations, so when you notice one, communicate with your partner, preferably in a sexual (as opposed to a clinical) way. Questions like “Do you like that?” and “How does that feel?” are simple and sexy.

In fact, it’s important to communicate with your partner a lot, but in a way that does not require answers more complicated than “yes/no” or “Mmmmm.”

However, make sure to let them know you like what you see and that you feel turned on by the sight of their naked body. You can describe their visual arousal with phrases like “You’re so hard,” “You’re so wet,” or perhaps, “Your nipples are so hot when they get hard like this.” If you are taking care of your husband, “I love to see how big you are”, or “You are dripping, and I love it,” are great choices.

Make a road-map of pleasure on their body; once you cover all of it, take a mental note of which areas triggered the most arousal aside from the genital region. Slowly start giving more and more attention to those areas. Then, as you progress, you can massage and caress those zones and go from there to the sex organs and back.

Learn how to use your hands well, using palms for broad pressure and fingers for a more focused and playful touch. But also use the rest of your body. Depending on your position over the partner, you can use lower arms, legs, feet, breasts, ass, and especially sex organs. Of course, an erect and oiled up penis feels like a natural tool to use, but the vulva, with its complex and interesting texture, will also drive your partner crazy when felt against his body. If you are the wife, you will be shocked to see how excited your husband can become if you straddle him and rub your pussy against his leg, arm, back or any other part of his body.

Apart from rhythmic, you want your strokes to be circular and continuous to feel as natural as possible.

To give you some practical ideas for continuous movement: imagine working a woman lying on her back (you being next to and over her). You can do something like glide your whole palm over her pubic area with gentle pressure and, in the same movement, slip fingers under her following and exploring the curve of her ass. Then cover the area of the clitoris with your lower arm and grind it with constant pressure while slowly drawing the hand back. In further continuation of the movement, you may slide your palm over her pussy and gently spread the lips with your index and ring fingers to maybe slip your middle finger inside…

Or, in case a man is lying in the same position (and you are kneeling between his legs), you can do something like move your palms up his thighs, applying strong pressure. Then, as you get closer to his penis area, reduce the pressure to very mild and glide your fingers and palms over and around his balls, grabbing his penis with both hands. While increasing pressure, you can do a couple of both-hand strokes, and from there, just bend over him and let him slip into your mouth in a continuous flow of movement…

You get the idea. As usual, your imagination and some practice are all you need, but also keep in mind not to be selfish. Giving pleasure to others pays great sexual dividends.

Now one or two additions you might consider:

• You can ask your spouse to put on an eye-mask (some people use one when they sleep.) It can heighten all the senses and make the massage even more special.
• Bringing a vibrator into the game can have some wonderful results. (Don’t make that the main focus, though.)
• My wife loves it if I use a small drop of Cinnamon oil on her clit. It creates a slight but pleasant burning sensation, but at the same time also draws blood to that special area and makes her even more sensitive.  It has a similar effect when she puts it on the head of my cock. [From MH: We recommend diluting essential oils in a carrier oil before applying.]
• Many candles create an atmosphere that says, “This is just for you to give you pleasure and to show you how much I love you.”

To set the stage, you can write a note to your spouse with an invitation. Maybe say that someone has booked and paid for a massage.  Set a time and place.  Tell your spouse to prepare for the session and put a sign on the door that makes it look like a massage parlor.  Give instructions on what he or she should wear—maybe nothing.  I love it if my wife starts with her panties still on.  There is something very sensual about touching her through the panties or slipping a finger inside for a brief touch.  A great benefit is to see the crotch of her panty getting wet.

Make sure that you have everything that you plan to use close at hand. Do not break the lovely sensual atmosphere to go and search for something.

And don’t be disappointed if your spouse falls asleep during the first part of the massage. If that happens, just carry on and start focusing more on the genital areas. There will be a very definite awakening.

Three main points to make this a great experience:

• Time – Do not be in a hurry.
• Set the mood – Make the room sexy. Make sure it is neat.
• Lubricant – Have plenty of it. Be lavish. Cover every part of your spouse’s body with your oil.

Here is my checklist before I have my ‘customer’ arriving:

• Candles
• Wine
• Chocolate
• Soft surface
• Towels
• Oil
• Cinnamon oil
• Notice on door
• Message to make an appointment
• Message to shower first (I stay away until the appointed time and then arrive with her already laying down on the area that I prepared for the massage to take place.)
• Something to lift buttocks
• Toys in the drawer, loaded or charged
• Music
• Cell phone off

And here is the note that I had delivered to her:

Dear Madam Lucy,

A friend bought you a gift certificate for an intimate massage session.

I decided to keep Thursday to Sunday open in which I can give you my personal and intimate attention. You can choose any evening at 7 pm. (If you want to choose several evenings, you are also welcome.)

I trust that the available times will suit you. However, if you want to propose another night so you have more time to prepare, I will immediately move my other clients as your pleasure is my first priority.

It will be a time when I will be entirely focused on your relaxation and every sensual part of your body. It will be good to prepare yourself to fully enjoy it. (Follow-up appointment can also be made if any need arises.)

Note that an anointing of your entire body will occur.

I would love to hear from you soon.

Regards

Maxx von Breitenbach