May is Masturbation Month

Now, I understand that masturbation and Christian beliefs do not always sit well together.  So if you are of that way of thinking, I would strongly suggest you do not read this post.  However, Lucy and I are very open with each other about our self-pleasure habits, and I would not want it any other way.

At the weekend, Lucy was reading her iPad in bed whilst I had a shower.  When I came out of our bathroom, she joked that I was a long while in there today and suggested that I may have been self-pleasuring.  As it happens, I was not, but I asked what made her think about that.  She said she was reading this article online about May being National Masturbation Month.  I joked back that I thought every month met that description, as far as she was concerned.  She took my crack good-naturedly, as always,  and we continued to discuss the topic.

Now, as I said at the start, we are both comfortable with self-pleasuring, mutual masturbation, and talking openly about it with each other. But a glint in Lucy’s eye told me she had something more she wanted to say on the subject. I climbed back into bed and cuddled up to her.

“What are you thinking?” I asked.

“How about we give this a try and only masturbate for the whole month of May—no sex, just self-pleasure.”

“Are you serious?” But I already knew the answer.

“We could make a game of it, make it fun and sexy.”

“You have really thought about this, haven’t you?” I said, to which she smiled and reached under the covers to feel my now semi-erect cock.  Now, sex and fun go hand in hand (no pun intended), so I pressed her for more details.

She said that we should think of the rules together, but we should try to encompass all the different ways that masturbation takes place in our marriage.  Solo pleasuring in private, solo pleasuring in front of each other, and of course, mutual masturbation.  Then we should consider the times of day that each of these activities took place, daytime when alone, night time when alone, shower time, bath time, and bedtime.  The other consideration would have to be how: hands only, toys only, hands and toys, for our own pleasure, or each other’s.

I was totally taken in with Lucy’s idea. I won’t lie; under the duvet, I was now rock hard at the thought of this.

We have agreed to give this a try and think of fun ways we could decide what the theme of the day would be. If we can think of 31 different combinations, we’ll try to go the whole of May with only masturbation as a sexual release.  Currently, I have a few ideas, and I’m sure Lucy does too, but I will write a follow up once we decide. Hopefully, it can be published in time for the beginning of May. We’d love to know if anybody reading this thinks they want to try this too, as it would be nice to share ideas before and experiences after.

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25 replies
  1. Waiting Hardly says:

    Since you are including mutual pleasuring, it probably wouldn’t violate 1 Corinthians 7 and the command to not abstain from sex, except for a short time for prayer.

  2. MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

    This is a great idea but I doubt we could comply–not sure we could both a whole month without sex, oral, etc.! I have never understood why some married couples view solo masturbation as off-limits. It's always been a part of our marriage. Our view is that if both spouses know each masturbates solo and both are OK with it, then it's fine. I know full well that my wife masturbates alone and she knows I do, too. We also masturbate together and 99% of the time there is some kind of masturbation when we're getting it on, but we would much prefer to have sex (vaginal and/or oral). That said, almost nothing gets me hotter than watching my wife masturbate and she has said the same to me.

  3. Johny123 says:

    Don’t dismiss the need for masturbation in a healthy marriage. For the last couple of weeks, my dear wife has been suffering badly from seasonal asthma, and I’ve been sleeping in the spare room because of her coughing. Night after night as I lie alone, I miss my bedtime snuggle, kiss, and my last stroke of her bare thigh next to me. As I remember her naked body, our sex romps, her naked body against mine and her long smooth legs wrapped around me, my erection inevitably rises hard. What am I to do? My legs spread wide, my hand slides down my front and wraps around my hard hungry penis. There’s only one woman I want, and she’s next door. Thoughts of her slipping off her underwear and in then nude poses that excite me flood my mind. As I stroke and tug, it's her tight, warm, smooth, juice-oiled vagina tight around me. As my back arches in my orgasm thrust and my semen spurts over my belly, I grunt my wife’s name into the darkness “Jayne!” Then, satisfied but only for the moment, I settle down to sleep in my lonely bed.

    • PacMan says:

      I’ve had many nights or mornings where I’ve enjoyed jacking off just like this. Great descriptive language, Johny123. And masturbation is a VERY important ingredient to a vast number of healthy marriages. Solo times are good for fostering that mental/emotional bond …and can also foster creativity and imagination in the sexual realm, which will end up benefiting the marriage.

    • MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

      Hard for me, too. We love to masturbate, but I need my cock in my wife's pussy and mouth. And she needs what I can give her, too.

  4. SinglePringle says:

    All of you complaining that this would be so difficult…every month for me is masturbation month (26 years worth). Some of us here don't have a choice you know since it's our only option 🙁

    • CrazyHappyLoved says:

      Well, it is a marriage site, so most of us aren't in your shoes. But we celebrate God's gift of self-pleasure with you for the month of May! May it bless you always, and not just in your single years.

    • SinglePringle says:

      I completely get that. The website is called "MarriageHeat" after all. It's just times like this where:
      1) you're horribly reminded of your singleness;
      2) your decision to wait until marriage really does mean that you're missing out in a certain sense on an experience that a majority of people in the world have already partaken in (married or not);
      3) that masturbation is extremely substandard in comparison to sex (that seems to be the overall consensus on here anyway which again makes sense and is to be expected).

      But to all of you whether or not you decided to embark on this challenge have fun, whether it be via sex, masturbation or a mix of the two.

    • WakaWaka123 says:

      I'm in the same boat. Honestly just wish I could talk about it with someone other than some random internet discussion board.

    • SinglePringle says:

      Agreed, real life interaction beats the internet any-day. Hopefully though we both won't be waiting too much longer, God will provide us both with spouses sooner rather than later and masturbating won't be our only outlet.

  5. SecondMarge says:

    I seem to recall that it was MH policy that one can only imagine their spouse while masturbating. As a new single that would leave me without someone to imagine.

    And no offense to anyone that claims they NEVER have thought of anyone but their spouse when self-pleasuring? Or that someone gave them the desire to do it? It seems to me that is something people say because they think it’s expected of them or the rules of the forum. Whether it’s the latest movie star or just an anonymous passer-by with the right smile or curves.

    But I guess that just brings us back to the same flawed lusting in your heart discussion.

    • SinglePringle says:

      I'd be the first to put my hand up to say I've never actually imagined anyone while I've masturbated so I struggle with understanding why people tend to do that. I tend to focus on the pleasure only so my mind goes blank whenever I do touch myself.

      The closest person I imagine is my future husband but it's almost like a blacked-out silhouette image (if that makes sense, it's very hard to explain). I've never gotten turned on by anyone in real life. Normal crushes and celebrity crushes are a mystery to me since I don't know them so they wouldn't excite me sexually.

      I might be a rare breed, but there are people like myself who honestly don't think of anyone when we masturbate as it's actually more of a turn off than anything.

    • PacMan says:

      Exactly… I think some can’t handle the heat of the imagination. I do have lots of fantasies involving other people, and even watching my wife with another man. And like you mentioned elsewhere, SM, thinking/seeing others actually enhances my desires for my spouse. As long as you are not tempted to act on your wild fantasies, I don't think it fits the classic definitions of “lust” or “sin.”

  6. California Coastal says:

    We both often masturbate ourselves and each other. We've always felt it was another aspect of the sexual gift God has given us. I work at home nude, and if I am not expecting a client call, I will get out my vibrator and satisfy myself. I have seen hubby on the back patio many times stroking his beautiful, erect cock to orgasm and ejaculation. We have never thought of it as sinful, but rather another way to celebrate. We are always thankful for the opportunity.

  7. Bootylicious says:

    Okay, so we all know that all men LOVE watching women masturbate (at least I'm assuming all men do; haven't heard otherwise. I get it; we women are very sexy! Haha) But what about women? Are there any wives on MH that don't want to watch their husbands playing with themselves? That find it a turn off rather than a turn on? I know that GG has said it turns her on a lot to see her hubby jerking off but is it as much of a turn on for the majority of women just as it is for most men? I have a girlfriend that does not find it arousing at all! Quite the opposite, in fact. Would love to know what other women think.

    • Sweetie806 says:

      I'm one man who actually does NOT love watching women masturbate. Not that I find it repulsive or anything; I can appreciate the eroticism of women self-pleasuring, it just doesn't get me off. Maybe that'll change someday…

    • hornyGG says:

      Bootylicious,
      Yes I do find it to be a turn on. Not so much the act itself, but the fact that he is sharing something with me that is so private and personal.
      We both enjoy masturbation and love doing it together and separate. I think that the fact that we love and trust each other so much adds to the eroticism of masturbation as well as our lovemaking. Anything else is just sprinkles to an already tasty cake.
      Stay Horny!
      ❤❤ GG

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