I’m hoping to start a conversation about what to do with “forbidden fantasies.”
In my case, my main fantasy relates to my wife receiving sexual pleasure from other men (and women, to be honest). A second fantasy involves watching and being watched by others. My third fantasy is to go back in time and to break the rules and have sex before marriage.
None of these is in line with basic Christian ethics (and the third is impossible!) I’m wondering how other couples have worked through taboo fantasies and whether you’ve managed to play them out in some way. I would also like to hear from people who have experimented in ways that do not conform to traditional Christian ethics. Have there been consequences so far?
I would imagine that many men have similar fantasies. Am I right?
Women, how would you feel about your husband revealing these kinds of ideas? Would it be a turn-on or a turn-off? Do these types of scenarios interest you too?
I find marriage and sexuality to be endlessly fascinating but also confusing. From a Christian standpoint, what is a taboo, and who says so? If my conscience is clear about experimenting and pushing boundaries, is it still sin? If it is sin, are the consequences spiritual, practical, social? Will I experience those consequences in this life, or will they be reserved for the afterlife?
My wife and I have become more liberal and experimental with age, and there have only been benefits. I wonder whether we shouldn’t be trying to push the boundaries even further because of how fun and rewarding the new territory has always proven to be.
I would love to hear everyone’s thoughts!
From MH: This discussion post will no doubt be highly controversial. We include it because these are points of struggle for many Christians, and we believe we can help each other. There is benefit in being able to confess these concerns and ideas as well as in hearing how others deal with them. As always, respectful responses are welcome. But keep in mind that this site’s purpose is to build and support a culture of hot Biblical monogamy. Detailed descriptions of sex outside that bond won’t be published, nor encouragement to act on such urges outside of marriage. Suggestions on how to deal with them together in fantasy would be.