We Posted Sex Tapes to a Fan Site for 45 Days (L)

Lauren and I have always had an exhibitionistic streak. And at times in our marriage, we have had some real fun with it, whether it was having sex in front of a hotel room window, getting in a quickie in a dressing room, enjoying ourselves at a nude beach, or something else. Another way we have enjoyed our exhibitionism is by making lots of homemade sex tapes and even a few professional-quality videos over the years. Our sex tape archive goes back to 2004 and includes over 300 videos and counting.

We have been talking for the past few years about what to do with our sex tapes. Almost all of them are very graphic, and the majority of them are quite kinky. Nearly all of them show our faces. We had joked about uploading all 300+ to a “fans” site but have never done that—though years ago, we did upload one video to a site, and it got some fun comments. We took it down a few weeks later.

Fast-forward to December of 2021, when we both decided we’d have a little fun with an experiment. Now, this is an experiment that most of you would never do and several of you will frown upon, so I am anticipating criticism in reader comments. But you’ll see below that out of it, we did some good.

We decided we’d create an account on a popular “fans” site, upload newly shot sex tapes over 45 days, and delete our account afterward. We agreed these would be videos that wouldn’t show our faces or, at most, would have our faces blurred or covered by masks. We also decided we’d make it clear to our viewers that we are happily married, deeply in love, monogamous, and in our late 40s (Lauren is 47, and I’m 48). We wanted to feel the thrill of putting ourselves out there and maybe inspiring other couples. I had a good feeling Lauren would get quite the following (and she did).

In those 45 days, we posted about three dozen sex tapes and uploaded all but two of them. Most of them didn’t show our faces, and about a handful had our faces blurred or masked. We used our 4K camera and some new lighting we purchased, both helping us produce incredibly high-quality sex tapes. Nothing was off-limits—not closeups, not point-of-view angles such as of us in doggy style position, not anal play and sex, not graphic cumshots, not creampies, not her licking up semen, not blowjobs, not pussy eating, not edging (his and hers), not role-playing, not stripteases, not masturbation, not vibrators and dildos, not double penetration, etc. Nothing was off-limits so long as it involved only us.

We watched every single video before uploading to ensure our identities remained secret. We made sure our account clearly indicated we were married and in love and that we wanted our audience to be other married couples.

The first few videos we uploaded got only a little response, but it was all positive. After our seventh video, things took off in a big way, and we’re not totally sure what drove the spike in viewership. Subscriptions and tips started coming in. Couples began commenting. Not just men but women were reaching out. People commented that it was nice to see a married couple in love and having such sexual fun. We had comments about us holding hands and how it was a “different kind of porn.”

For every crass comment about how hot Lauren was or some attractive feature of her body (e.g., “She’s hot.” “MILF.” “Nice tits.” “Nice ass.” “Wish she’d suck my cock like that.” “I’d do her.”), we got a comment about how apparent our love was in our videos and that it was nice to witness.

Don’t get me wrong. We posted some very graphic videos.

By the 45th day, we had built a following; thousands of people came to our page daily to see what new content we’d added. People started making requests. Among the top requests was more POV videos of us in doggy style as they enjoyed the view of the action. The most popular of the videos we produced showed Lauren masturbating with her fingers, dildo, and vibrator, bringing herself to orgasm, then getting fucked by me in doggy-style position. Men and women alike loved her body, her self-pleasure skills, and how much she got off on herself and with me pounding away at her.

In all, we made several thousand dollars in 30-day subscriptions and tips, all of which we ended up donating anonymously to organizations working to stop trafficking. We kept none of it. We stuck to our plan and deactivated (but didn’t delete) our page after 45 days.

Our takeaways from this experiment are:

  • There is a demand for what we were producing. We were producing super-graphic XXX videos, and people loved watching a married couple in their 40s do such things and enjoy each other so much.
  • A lot of people want kink in their marriage but don’t know how to make it happen with their partner. This was apparent in the messages we received.
  • We had a great time producing a series of how-to videos (how to have fun doggy-style sex, how to give a blowjob, how to eat pussy and make her orgasm, how to give a facial without hitting her eyes, how to give him a great blowjob, etc.) that people loved.
  • Even in a video that may appear on the surface to be hardcore porn or even fetishy, people can recognize if the couple is in love. This observation was shared with us hundreds of times over the 45 days. People appreciated seeing two lovers get off in such erotic ways.
  • We had to take a few breaks from shooting videos and just enjoy ourselves with no camera rolling. Those lovemaking sessions kept us focused on what really mattered. It’s easy to let the videos take over, which is not healthy.
  • We produced a few videos that were very fetishy, thinking they’d get big responses. And while they did, the videos that showed us enjoying each other and not engaged in fetishy acts got the best responses.

We may decide to reactivate our account and keep doing this, with all revenues going to causes we care about.

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49 replies
  1. Fearless Lunk says:

    I think it sounds amazing, and I wish there was more “porn” made and shared by married couples. If you ever activate your account, please let me know. [If you don’t want all of MH to know, you can easily guess my email!] I have never joined any “fans” pages, but this is one I would. And I think it’s porn my wife would get into too… we occasionally watch some, but she doesn’t like if it feels inauthentic.

  2. LovingMan says:

    This is interesting. We would never do this with videos of us but most of my stories on MH are true stories of our real sex life as a very happily married and passionate couple. What you did was taking that a step further.

    As far as right or wrong I’m betting that the feel of the videos you made is completely different from most porn – because in most porn videos the people are not having sex with just their spouse.

    So, your videos are showing how beautiful passionate married sex can be. Personally I think the “how to” videos may be the very most appropriate of all the sex videos you submitted. I think that MH stories help educate readers in the glories of married sex AND the MH stories help educate readers on different sexual things to try in OUR marriage.

    However, many of us have to be very careful with viewing any sex video or even sex instruction video because it is so easy to lust after people in the videos. But personally I think that there may be a place for sex videos and especially sex instruction videos that feature only a monogamous and faithful couple. I’m sure some that some MH readers and writers would agree with me and some will definitely disagree with me.

  3. LovingMan says:

    I thought of something else to add: I think that there IS real value to sex instruction videos. But the spirit of the video is completely different if the couple is married and the sex is just between the monogamous married couple. I wouldn’t say to watch that kind of video all the time, but sex is an acquired skill and you can learn new things to improve your sex skills. But learning has to be your focus, not just using the sex instruction video to get turned on.

    We watched some of the “Better Sex Video Series” years ago. The married couples are real people with real imperfect bodies and it truly teaches sex techniques not just unrealistic scenarios.

    And I have no problem with us watching the sex videos WE have made. And watching ourselves to get turned on is definitely good. We don’t lose the Holy Spirit at all by watching ourselves do lots of different sexual things. I’ve actually wondered if watching us might help other married couples. But we’ll probably never be as brave and open as you two were!

  4. King Arthur says:

    Nice Story. Sounds like fun. I'd love to make videos, but my wife is not into it at all. She was mortified when our son found some pics we took once. (And those were just pics, pretty tame at that.)

  5. ParkerJen says:

    I love this SO much! You are absolutely an inspiration to couples everywhere, including Parker and I, who have long been considering something similar! Thanks for exemplifying God-honoring precautions to put LOVE first in your videos and making it so apparent! I’m sure I’m like many people here when I say that I love my sex with equal parts kink and tender passion, and I can’t get over how perfectly you seem to have struck that balance.

    So turned on,
    Jen

    • CreamyPatty says:

      PJ, very cool you were considering your own exhibitionism project. If you read my and Jim’s posts you know how much we love showing off!

    • Giants05 says:

      ParkerJen, I so agree with sex having both kink and tender passion…that is so true and my wife and I love to balance the two.

  6. parker says:

    Congratulations, you are now sex workers, getting paid for sexual acts. Just because you are happily married, monogamous, or make it publicly available for just a limited time does not justify selling pornography, which is what you did.

    • catlover says:

      I hate to be contrary, the fact that they didn't keep the money means there was no profit. Besides there is no shame in married sex. God never shamed it, why do we? If you went back to Bible times, how many people that were common poor folks had the luxury to live in multi room homes? So, I doubt it was uncommon to see one another naked or making love. They didn't wear bras, so their nipples were probably visible too.
      They were not involving anyone else in their sexual acts, and though I haven't seen their video, I heard they were incognito. Have you seen them?
      When did real married sex become porn? If there is a guilty party, it is probably us for watching and paying for it.
      We need to coin a new word for sex between monogamous couples. Let's make MESPD a new word to define sex between married couples. It stands for Married Explicit Sex with Pussies and Dicks. Maybe you could coin a new word so we could throw away the word that doesn't apply to married faithful couples. What we do ain't porn! Maybe if they invited others to partake live with them, I might agree with you, however we Christians need educational content from other married couples in a safe environment. Our only outlet till now has been porn on sites that don't care about marriage.

    • Enjoying Gods gifts says:

      Have you ever read Song of Solomon, especially chapter 7? Why is it sinful to portray a situation that Hebrews 13 describes as honorable and undefiled? You may want to check my post on this site on the difference between erotica (sex) and pornography (sexual immorality)

  7. Peterpan says:

    For me watching two people enjoying each other, without fetish or kinky stuff, is the most wonderful thing to see. I like seeing all of the nude bodies including genitals. Most importantly is to see the love between the two people, the most erotic thing to watch.

  8. jwdmccarty2902 says:

    As hot as it sounds to watch I have to lean more towards the camp that Parker is in. No question guys watched those videos, became horny and masturbated to them. That is exactly what porn is and is used for. While it is hotter (to me) that you were married, it is still porn.

    • catlover says:

      How many of us both male and female have read stories on MH and gotten horny and masturbated. What's the difference? If you don't live next door to the couple you can't lust after either of them. And even if you know the couple personally in the video and live next door, the sin of lust would fall on us, not the couple. Pretty hard to lust after a video though. I guess I would have to cum on the screen. Hum, that still ain't lust since hopefully i am not plotting to have sex with a flower that is not my own and resides in my own garden.
      It ain't porn, it is married explicit sex with pussies and dicks. MEXPD

    • catlover says:

      How many of us both male and female have read stories on MH and gotten horny and masturbated. Both females and males jerk-off. What's the difference? If you don't live next door to the couple you can't lust after either of them. And even if you know the couple personally in the video and live next door, the sin of lust would fall on us, not the couple. Pretty hard to lust after a video though. I guess I would have to cum on the screen. Hum, that still ain't lust since hopefully i am not plotting to have sex with a flower that is not my own that does not reside in my own garden. In old times I would have had to try to have sex with a statue or a painting. Hum, that ain't really lusting either.
      It ain't porn, it is married explicit sex with pussies and dicks. MEXPD

  9. LovingMan says:

    Catlover, I think a new word for married sex on video is a good idea. MESPD is good and I thought about your word and tried something similar MESOLEC for Married Explicit Sex Of Loving Erotic Couple… or MESPEBAB for Married Erotic Sex with Pussy, Erection, Breasts And Butt. But those are probably way too long.

    A couple of years ago I began using a different word for the “F word.” Since I have read some opinions that FUCK stood for what was put on the stocks when a Puritan was being punished for extramarital sex,
    (For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge)
    I thought of “FLICK” which stands for: For Lawful Incredible Carnal Knowledge. Or it could be
    For Lawful Intense Carnal Knowledge or even For Lawful Intimate Carnal Knowledge. I just thought of that last one and I think I like it best. Of course not many people have successfully introduced new words. I suppose most were successful writers.

    • catlover says:

      was thinking of making a word with few characters and easily added to memory. I like your word too. Here is another possible. maybe we could get the Christian community together create a word and use it universally.
      Here are some characters and meaning i thought of too.
      cmex or cems or cemx: c=christian; m=married; e=explicit; s or x =sex, christian explicit hetero sex
      another idea might be sosx: Song of Songs sex
      sosmx: Song of Songs married x=explicit sex
      chemx= christian hetero explicit married sex
      chex= christian hetero explicit sex
      chembx= christian hetero explicit married biblical sex
      I truly believe we need something to replace the stigma word porn.
      We could preface videos and pictures and even stories that were read or viewed with a chex category like nsfw is used now, except our category would not be called porn by christians or anyone that believed in biblical sex.

  10. YoungCouple69 says:

    Not sure if this story is real or not as it is marked fantasy, but I think this is a cool idea. There is beauty in a healthy Christian married sexual relationship. Based on my understanding of Scripture, I don’t think it is necessarily wrong to enjoy and appreciate that beauty. I don’t believe there is a difference between enjoying the description of Christian married sex here on MH vs a video/photo depiction. I think about the words of Jesus in Mark 7: “And the Pharisees and the scribes asked him, “Why do your disciples not walk according to the tradition of the elders, but eat with defiled hands?” And he said to them, “Well did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written, “ ‘This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me,
    teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’”

    And later in the same chapter… “And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, mmurder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.””

    My question for those thinking through this would be… Does reading MH or watching video clips of a Christian couple engage in sexual activity create discontent and covetousness in your heart, drawing you away from your spouse as well as your gracious Savior, or does it inspire joyful appreciation for God’s beautiful gift of sex and inspiration for your personal sexual life? Whether reading MH (or writing stories for MH) or watching videos of sex (or creating those videos for others to watch) is sinful or not is a product of your heart in doing so.

  11. Ben says:

    I understand the adrenaline rush posting something like that. It's a real look at me moment. Look what I get to do… isn't this exciting. I get it and have those desires also

    However

    No matter the relationship status of the participants these images rewire our brains, new neural pathways are created and if continued watching we require more and more and kinkier and kinkier images to get the same result. That's just simple biology and scientific fact.

    American Sociological Association found that married men who began viewing pornography were twice as likely to get divorced.
    Previous studies have discovered “viewing pornography lead to poorer relationships”.

    Then after it's rewired our brain it begins to steal from our relationships and destroy our sex lives.

    Then they're the young people many many who watch porn and never get to learn how to have a proper sex life.

    in 2010 – 47% of familes in the US said their home had a problem with pornography, according to the National Coalition for the Protection of Children & Families.
    At the most risk are boys 12-17 years old

    Etc etc etc

    The cost to individuals families and society is astronomical. I think it's best if we curb our desire for exhibitionism and adrenaline rush and keep it more to ourselves

    • CreamyPatty says:

      Ben, my personal research shows that the more turned on I get watching explicit sex, exhibiting my body with Jim to gain confidence and horniness and watching each other masturbate on film (the one homemade video we did two years ago) results in more unrestricted sex with Jim. Simply stated, we love playing and fucking – and any visible medium that gets our libido cranking is deeply cool for me.
      MarriageHeat delivers well because I'm guessing most stories are semi-real, meaning either true or imagined.

    • SecondMarge says:

      A poll by National Coalition for the Protection of Children & Families about erotica is like a poll on cigarettes by the tobacco growers of America. I bet they would find MarriageHeat as harmful. A gateway to get those synapses wanting more hard core erotica. Polls can say anything you want. People are anxious to be victims and place blame on other things than themselves. As we see by members here erotica can improve married sex life.
      If you enjoy others seeing you have sex, go for it. But it must be both husband and wife wanting it. No releasing nudes of the wife or husband without their knowledge and agreement.
      Increasing the pleasure of your bed is a good thing.

  12. CrazyHappyLoved says:

    So many questions about the ASA study you mention: *Why* were those married men viewing porn? Were they viewing it alone or with their spouse? Were they striving to meet their spouse's emotional and sexual needs and vice versa? Cause and effect is sometimes hard to weed out of a mathematical correlation. Did porn "lead to poorer relationships" because people gave up and escaped to it rather than do the hard work of improving their marriages?

    Another problem with a study like that is that it doesn't draw a distinction between "porn" and audio-visual erotica depicting loving, sexual activity between married couples—especially Christian married couples. And in truth, there isn't (to my knowledge) a place one could go to watch only that content and not be lured by "related content" ads to something less wholesome.

    It also neglects personality differences: Some people are more prone to addiction to pleasurable activities, actual sex included, though a random sample versus using data from those who have sought help for addictive or other behavioral problems should give more useful data.

    Other questions: How did families define a "problem with porn"? Addictive use? Underage use? Behavior changes?

    If hot marital sex were not so taboo that we hid it, would our 12-14 yo boys—those just reaching puberty and awakening to sexual desire—be seeking info about it online?

    This is not to imply that I would make the same choices as OP. My concern would be the paid aspect as, to my understanding, the Biblical injuctions against "porneia" refer to prostitution or "sex for money." I understand using money as a gatekeeper for control of one's own content and to discourage underage viewing, though, and like that OP used the procedes to help others rather than for personal gain.

    I agree that sin begins in the heart, but believe that our choice of actions is what brings it to fruition. I appreciate the sharing of this post; it let me think through a scenario that I might have considered in a vacuum if it came up in my life. For me, the issue would be the exchange of money, though maybe I'm too formulaic. I definitely don't believe seeing sexual activity between a loving married couple is harmful unless used as a substitute for rather than an encouragement toward seeking a similar relationship with one's own spouse. The same would go for any form of escapism.

  13. Second Chance says:

    I’m astounded to read some of the comments in this thread: Admissions to using & enjoying porn, thoughts to release your own porn, wanting to sign up to view porn, thinking it’s hot ??

    Are y’all for real? Do you even care about Jesus? Do you care about what He did? Do you care about the price He paid for your life?

    Now, this is my opinion, but when we cast off restraint & give in to our heart's desires/flesh, we abuse grace, & the result is always sin. Trust me I know because I’m a sinner; I’ve messed up.

    Some of y’all don’t seem to care about sin. You act like it’s okay & God is for it in your context. Yeah, I’m being direct: you’re in self-deception & believing a lie from the Devil if that’s the case. And I’m bold enough to say that straight out in this thread.

    Nobody wants to talk about the weight of sin anymore. People only want to talk about the love part of God. But that is not the holistic picture of the real truth. Real love has correction in it; when we trip up, the Holy Spirit convicts us, & if we become that desensitized to the pornographic culture we live in & we slip into that place of calling evil, good & good, evil—then we have exchanged the truth of Gods’ word for a lie. That’s is dangerous territory. We tend to want to justify & appease our consciences to fit the sin we want to commit for momentary gratification. Again my opinion, but I think the truth is that because you like it, you don’t want to choose Gods’ way. I would go so far as to say that most of you don’t believe what you’re doing & thinking of doing is wrong.

    I pray that God intervenes & overhauls all of us in this community & takes us back to His word – “But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come.”
    ‭‭John‬ ‭16:13‬ ‭NASB2020‬‬

    Let HS lead us to all TRUTH, the REAL TRUTH we all need. Period!!!!

    • Fearless Lunk says:

      Here’s the beautiful thing about the Holy Spirit, according to Galatians 5, 1 Peter 2, and 1 John 2, what might be “sin” for you doesn’t mean it’s sin for everyone. Others might feel freedom where some feel conviction. There is room for it all. “Do you even care about Jesus?” That is a very condescending question. For me, seeing visual erotica as described above is not a sinful act…. for me. So please don’t drop that yoke on my neck. And even IF porn was sinful (for everyone, which it is not), let’s not act like only perfect people love Jesus and are thankful for his sacrificial atonement. Jesus talked far more about spiritual finger-pointing than he did about attitudes on sex issues. Even if not intended, it’s exactly what you did.

    • catlover says:

      Please help me. When did Biblical sex become porn? I have never read where God called married sex evil. Nor have I read where a Christian reading Song of Songs and then doing what Scripture says is sin. Young people were not to read the Song until they were of a certain age which means that the Rabbis knew it was an erotic book. Some preachers have avoided or even changed the books meaning because they are embarrassed to teach its real meaning.
      While I agree that we should probably not be watching people performing non-biblical sex because it could encourage some to attempt situations outside of what honors our Father, however that is a danger that is ever present in even the food we eat.
      There are extenuating circumstances for erotic material, i don't mean the crap that most if not all of the porn websites post, but there is a need for education. There are also couples who for whatever reason legitimately do not or cannot have sex. Are they to believe they can just pray away their biology? These persons are married. Should the one with the high libido just divorce their spouse?
      There are all kinds of stories of porn causing marriage breakups. As someone else has said, were they watching together as a normal couple? Was the other spouse preconditioned to see all examples of visual sex even married couple sex as evil sin. Have we all been conditioned to see all visual sex as sin. If the Bible says married sex or even seeing married sex is sin, I must have missed it. The word porno is only used once and not in the context we use it today. Perhaps I am wrong about that, but we should be careful of adding meaning or words that God never said. We have done that, adding words and meanings to elevate ourselves, since the beginning of Adam and Eve. It is not effective at controlling sin, but it is effective at condemning the receiver's spirit into believing they have hurt their own soul. Sexual sin is well defined in Scripture, and nakedness is not a sin nor is married sex. We should not have intercourse with a person who is not our spouse; to do so would be sin. I don't think it would be proper to watch folks having sex in orgies or threesomes, etc. as that might encourage non-biblical activity, however we watch people sin in many ways everyday that are not sexual and we still make the choice not to duplicate those actions. It must depend on our relationship and a love of God that causes us to be faithful to Him and our spouses.
      There is a good story here from one called honey suckle dew where she caught her husband watching porn and what she did afterward.
      Sometimes the argument that porn desensitizes is used to declare it as evil and therefore more and more strange stuff must be viewed to satisfy the urge. It ain't always true.

      Since God was so definite about the description of sexual sin, I think I will use His definition and not something that some preacher read into His Word. In context, I am willing to learn.

    • Mtstreetdoc says:

      Multiple times you mention jerking off to the stories posted here. What is the difference really? If you are masturbating to stories of married couples or women masturbating, is that not obtaining sexual satisfaction through the sex of others? One definition of "porn" is any material meant to titillate. It does not distinguish between written or visual. So, with that definition, are you not viewing porn? Each denomination defines sin differently. In the Catholic Church, you are a sinner because you are divorced and cannot receive the Holy Communion.

  14. MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

    Thanks for the varied perspectives, everyone. I knew when writing this entry that it would get a lot of different perspectives. Since deactivating our account on the fans site, we have not turned it back on. The 45 days were fun and interesting in their own way. Admittedly, we are a couple that pushes the envelope for sure but NEVER has anything we’ve done ventured beyond the two of us. What I will ask is this: How is using a camera to “show” what many of us only write about on here (for others to see) any different except the former literally “shows” and the latter “tells”? I think it is highly questionable to denounce the former but accept the latter.

    Thank you for chiming in!

  15. 20sophiemarie00 says:

    I love , respect and admire what you two are doing as a married couple and are clearly enjoying doing together. My issues goes a little deeper. I am currently married but lost in the unknown if we will be tomorrow. When we married, he was a virgin and I was far from a virgin. I was never 100% open with him. He just knew I had a lot of sex and my sex drive is over the moon. After 18 months of marriage and coming into our own sexually, he found my secret out. He was shown a couple videos on the internet that were of me with several and many partners in one video. I was on my own at the time and was with a guy that got me to do movies. It was a win-win, I thought, have a lot of sex and get paid also. I was afraid to tell my husband because he is the best thing that's ever happened to me. He says he's not divorcing me, but time will tell. So I'm so very glad to hear of a married couple doing this together. Many blessings to you both.

    • Hellohoneyiloveyou1 says:

      Tell him that you were a different person then.
      Go to Christian counseling together.
      Pray together*too!! That would be a HUGE jump ahead

    • LovingMan says:

      20sophiemarie00… I wanted to address your situation. I want you to know that I have compassion for you. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is a message of change. I pray that your husband can learn and 100% accept that. I agree with Hellohoneyiloveyou1 that you are clearly not the same person now as you were before. Repentance is total and complete. You have been cleansed by the blood of Christ.

      I suppose that it would have been better for you to have told your fiancé about your past, but my question is do we believe Jesus when He says our past sins are forgiven or do we only “believe IN Jesus?”

      Believing Jesus is far more important than just believing in Him. We must believe in Him being our Savior and thus believe that what he says about forgiving us is true! Forgiveness is cleansing! You are now pure… & you were pure when you married your husband.

      Personally I am very grateful that my Melodie believes in the awesome power of the Atonement of Christ because I was a pretty bad sinner for a time between marriages.

      Yet I also had to come to grips with her sexual past. She was an innocent victim of extensive childhood and adolescent sexual abuse. She never lost her vaginal virginity (only due to a very tough hymen) but she was required by her abusers to do practically everything else. A few years ago she explained how much and how often and how long her sexual abuse had gone on. I was truly shocked!

      To be clear, I never had to forgive her for what happened to her. She was 100% innocent. Being a victim myself (but far less number of times) I knew that she was innocent and pure. But I did have to forgive her abusers and not be consumed by hate… nor should I dwell on what she had been required to do sexually from 6-13 or 14 years old.

      I was also, during my first marriage, in a position of marrying a young woman who was not a virgin. It took some real effort and prayer to totally forgive her and I think that our marriage, for a time, suffered because of my unforgiving heart. So I know where your husband is coming from.

      Satan tries to put wedges between us. Satan does not want us to believe in the cleansing and purifying power of the Atonement of Christ.

      Looking back, I even wonder if there was anything to forgive because when we married my first wife truly was purified by Jesus’ Atonement. I just needed to believe what Jesus said about forgiveness & not let my wife’s past bother me.

      I would echo the suggestion to get some Christian marriage counseling. We did just a few years ago, and it greatly improved our relationship.

      I think you should also keep staying true to your Christian values, pray for your husband, and keep loving him passionately.

    • catlover says:

      There is no condemnation in those who love Jesus; we are new creatures saved by grace. Let those without sin cast the first stone. We have all sinned and fallen short. We probably all sinned in something today, yesterday, and will again tomorrow. Don't let this secret revelation cause you to hold back from loving and making love with your husband! But, now that he has seen it, never answer any questions about or allow any comparison between those in the vid and now with your hubby. Tell him if he ever asks that is a closed history. It is not terribly different than those of us who lost or divorced a spouse. Never discuss, even though sometimes tempted, the sex before the two of you were married. The only difference in your case is the video. That could happen to many of us, I bet, who were previously married or maybe when some were single. Only difference was cameras and video weren't as easy to do years ago. You had to get your 30mm film developed so the developer person could watch it. Later, VCR cameras were big and bulky.
      A good Christian counselor wouldn't hurt as a preemptive measure.

    • SecondMarge says:

      It isn’t my place or anyone here’s to judge your sexual decisions. I am guessing you enjoyed them or would not have participated. I for one do not think God will judge your sex before marriage. Whether it was once with one man you loved or a group just because it felt good. I do not think it was wrong. I do think God may have an issue with you not being honest with your husband. Many husbands would be very turned on watching their wife and that is an issue you might need help dealing with.
      Realistically almost no marriages in this day and age is between virgins. And for hundreds of years many first born children were “premature”.
      Glad your marriage is surviving. Remember every experience you had made you the person he fell in love with.

  16. Lustfully in love says:

    You guys are clearly deeply in love and madly in lust. Keep fucking, sucking, coming, and having fun. Thank you for having the courage to share with others who get off watching a loving couple give each other pleasure.

    • SecondMarge says:

      I agree. Sharing their sex on video is no different than those of us sharing stories about our lives here. A description of our sex or the actual act are the same.

  17. Lustfully in love says:

    Thank you SecondMarge. We are definitely on the same page when it comes to tasteful, respectful, beautiful sex videos of a husband and wife sharing intense pleasure.

    • CreamyPatty says:

      The sex tape Jim and I made was a little amateurish, but when we are in the mood to reminisce, we'll pull it out, get naked, and masturbate together; we play this way when we are both focusing on a video as opposed to making love.
      I always hate the way I look on a video (just as I hate all photos ever taken of me :)) but I confess here that watching him really pounding my pussy hard is quite a turnon. I'm also always surprised that I am so vocal and loud as I approach orgasm. Makes me wonder how many people have heard me in adjoining hotel rooms, while visiting friends, and even relatives!

    • Giants05 says:

      @Creamy..Mrs Giants here…This comment got me so worked up and encouraged after reading it …I ended up hitting the record button and propping my phone on our head board tonight and got such a good angle. So hot to know we were catching it on tape.

    • CreamyPatty says:

      I would be. I asked awhile back if I could post my rack on this site to illustrate the nipple play topic (I thought no face, so I remain anonymous , right?) but I now understand the legality of the situation.
      But I enjoy letting myself go sometimes – well, most the time 🙂
      Let me know and I'm in.

  18. SecondMarge says:

    I love when these popular topics are brought back to life. Interesting the topics that inspire so many passionate responses. Varied opinions are great to read as long as we respect all of them and try to understand they are just that, OPINIONS, not God is sending messages that watching or being watched during sex is wrong. I don’t judge others because that is HIS work. It’s just sex. It’s not life or death, stealing, devil worship. Almost all of God’s creatures have sex. We must to reproduce. That is why it exists just like eating and breathing.

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