Alright, so, I’m Sue. I’ve been a reader secretly for years and never had the courage to get an account. My parents raised me to be very, very conservative. Masturbation was a word no one ever said to me growing up; I first came across it on the internet. I did, however, get told in no uncertain terms that to touch myself was a terrible sin. I was told never to do that—and a lot of other things—but no one ever actually told me what sex was. I learned about it from nature documentaries, which led to internet searches and porn. So. Much. Porn. So you could say I had a really healthy relationship with sex as a teenager.
It was pure guilt, always. I loved masturbating. I hated myself for it. I chose super inappropriate fantasy targets. My married youth pastor was a favored fantasy. I would go to town on my pussy, imagining him doing all the dirtiest things I’d seen on the internet, then cry after I came and hate myself. I chose terrible times and places too. The youth house bathroom during youth group was a common occurrence. Thankfully, I finally broke out of my shame spiral and the porn addiction in college. (More on that later.)
I got married after college, still somehow a PIV virgin. I love my husband, and we have kids and an okay sex life, if very vanilla. As a final bit of personal introduction, I’m a real-life Sue Heck. I look like the actress that played her, I have that ridiculous and always happy personality, and I’m deeply Midwestern!
On to the discussion piece:
It comes up a lot in comments and stories: getting caught, or catching someone Jackin’ or Jillin’!
So, have you ever caught or been caught by someone, and what happened? Was the masturbator so close they finished? Did they know? How was it handled, and how do you think it should have been? If you were the catcher, how did it make you feel? Did you masturbate later to the memory?
I’ll start. I was in college and deeply engrossed in a porn video when my roommate walked in. I didn’t notice at first, but I was so close I couldn’t stop by the time I did. I came and immediately burst into tears and desperately tried to cover myself with my pillows. I was so humiliated. I was naked, and I was so prudish that my roommate had yet to see me that way at the beginning of our second semester together. I had been caught using porn, and a particularly sordid variety, by a sister in faith. And she’d found me masturbating, which I had been taught was a horrible thing whores did. Worst of all, I came so hard with her looking, and I was terribly worried about what that meant.
Thankfully, my roommate handled the situation with grace and wisdom. She taught me an appropriate sexual ethic, encouraged our masturbation but with a proper outlook and fantasy life, and helped me through my porn addiction. It ended up being the rock bottom I needed with the wise friend I needed. She even introduced me to MH. I’ve had a much healthier relationship with sex and masturbation ever since.
I still love jilling off and often use this site to do that but now without the shame and guilt. And it is very much to Mr. Sue’s benefit. 🙂
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