Holy Words
When you hear the word “holy,” what images come to your mind? With what things or persons do you associate this word in your thoughts?
Holy. Say the word out loud several times and listen to the thoughts in your heart. What emotions does this word invoke in you?
If the word “holy” can be defined as “Something or someone set apart, often for a special use or purpose, because of a unique quality inherent in that thing or person” (Do you agree with this definition? How would you define this word?), then it seems to me that we, as re-sired (born again) human beings and followers of Jesus The Christ, should have a sense of, and an understanding of, holiness that extends beyond the thoughts available in the hereditarily impure hearts of those of our fellow human beings who have not yet been re-sired of our God.*
With that intro, then, I say, “Welcome MHers to my first post!”
I stumbled upon this site as I was searching for a way to showcase the erotic poetry that I write from my marriage bed. (Unfortunately, I cannot post those poems here because the Rules of Engagement stipulate that I will give up my copyrights to anything I post on MarriageHeat. A regrettable, but understandable, contractual thingy which I respect.)
Fascinated, though, by the beautiful and holy eroticism I experienced in the explicitness of your story-telling and in the things you shared from your hearts, and after a little prayer, I was inspired to join this community for the freedom of expression available here, as well as for the inspiration you provided my muse, for your sharing the wonder and joy intrinsic to the holy sexuality that you’ve explored in your own marriage beds.
Be pleased to know, then, that deciding to join this community is a solemn decision for me because I am a private person who does not subscribe to any social media.
Now, to the point. I am, as I know you are, well acquainted with the words we call cuss words. I have used these words all too often when I’m expressing frustration, bitterness, or anger, and, all too often, in the presence of another human being, sometimes even using them to be hurtful. Always after, though, I feel regret as my spirit pricks my conscience which arouses a strongly felt need to apologize, even if it’s just to my God, in order to restore my conscience to quiescence. I have been praying for freedom from this vice and can happily report that I have been making significant progress as my God brings challenges to me (a.k.a. temptations) which reveal to me the untruthful thoughts in my heart, allowing Him to suggest to my spirit better thoughts to replace those thoughts that generate the powerful emotions that lead me to cuss. This is a righteous thing to do, even as Paul pointed out that we should not be using profane and foul language in our speech but that we are to utter only words that are encouraging (Eph 4:29).
However, certain ones of those words, have no suitable substitute when it comes to arousing Eros.
Consider our words for penis-in-vagina sex: the clinical sounding words-intercourse, copulation, coitus, and coition; the comical words-nookie, shagging, hanky-panky, and canoodling; the neutral phrases-sleep with, lie with, to know, and take to bed; and the profane sounding words-screwing, frigging, boffing, and bonking—and pages more.
Notice that none of these words come close to the power of the English word “fucking” to express the erotic feelings we generate when, well… when we are fucking.
Unfortunately, because we are all born profane beings, we English-speaking humans all too easily hijack the power in that word to our own detriment in the hearing of others as we blasphemously turn it from a happy verb into an angry adjective.
You know of what I speak.
So, what do you think might happen in your thoughts, and thus to your emotional reaction to hearing that word, if you embraced the idea that this word was holy, that is, set apart for a special use or purpose, because of a unique quality inherent in that word, specifically the power to arouse when used from one spouse to another to spur on more intense action when in the heat of passion?
Of course, that’s not the only word from that list that we, as Believers, could consider holy. Our words for our genitalia could also be considered holy no matter how euphemistic or explicit the words a couple may choose, between themselves, to describe them are.
Is this something you’ve ever thought of before? I would like to hear what you have to say.
And now, as I will say often to you in closing as an encouragement to you and as a reminder of the righteousness we are called to be trained in, “Keep being good, MHers! It is, after all, what you were created to be!”
Eleutheros
* I hope to be posting more on this concept later, God and Marriage Heat willing. In the meantime, check out this scripture, I John 3:3-9 and remember that John, The Beloved Disciple, was the only disciple present when Jesus spoke with Nicodemus in private.
Thank you for the main thrust of your eloquent point. Your encouragement to use "fucking" in a holy manner is a laudable aim. Otherwise, we risk being part of the throng that waters down the inherent power of this word to incite holy passions in our lovemaking. I agree that there is no word quite like it. The more holy we treat it – helps us to keep it in a place that only elucidates our most erotic reactions. The less holy we allow the word "fucking" to become in our minds – the more we see its special effects incrementally wane. I for one desire to keep "fucking" holy. It is a gift of a word! A gift that keeps on giving. It is ironic that someone with a habit of saying "holy fuck" as an exclamation for anything and everything – in fact, helps cause the word to lose it holy usage.
* One note of a kind of modified exception to this: It seems possible to use "fucking" adjectivally when specifically bringing a heightened sense to something sexual. For example, telling my wife during foreplay, "your fucking nipples are so fucking hard right now – I love them like this!" I would argue that that usage does not cheapen the word in that context. It actually builds our passion to the point that we fuck. Likewise, after orgasm, telling her, "that was fucking hot!"
This word is a special gift – and I love it!
Lastly, I want to admit that I don't hold to this perfectly in practice.
Thank you Eleutheros for this profitable contribution. May God bless you. LH
Thank you, Lovinghusband, for taking the time to post your thoughts. It is a gift of a word, isn’t it! Well put!
It is unfortunate, but this idea has met with everything but acceptance in other places where I’ve previously introduced it, but MHers seem to already get it!
Anecdotally I can say, in agreement with your surmise, that I’ve grown more sensitive to the use of this word in my marriage since I’ve come to consider it holy, and my beautiful wife’s mouth and mine have become purer, and hotter, for it. Talk about speaking only words that edify!
It is my hope, then, that among MHers, the acceptance of this idea will lead to even more passion in your marriage beds (if that’s even possible!) for relieving any lingering false guilt and anxiety caused by the ubiquitous and unholy use of this powerful word by the unredeemed people we circumspectly interact with in our daily lives.
Be good, Lovinghusband! It is, after all, what you were created to be!
Wow, what a great discussion topic! And welcome, Eleutheros, to Marriageheat! I particularly enjoyed your use of eloquent language in your post, as I am also a writer with a love for great writing and structure. This has really inspired me to start looking at the F-word differently. I don't use it (or any expletive other than very innocent things like "good grief" or "oh my goodness") myself, but if I ever get married, I think I would use all kinds of graphic terms while making love with my husband, including that! Whenever I hear it, it always shocks my ears. But I want to view it as a vocalization that I and my man will enjoy together as we pleasure each other. You actually bring up a viewpoint similar to mine, in that we Christians should reclaim sex and everything that goes with it. Nice to know that others think this way too!
Wow, what a great reply! Thank you for the welcome, but above all else, I thank you for commenting on the eloquence you noticed in my writing. Your words of affirmation touched my spirit.
For me, I can’t help but be impressed, LovelyLonelyLady, by the dedication you've made of your Self to becoming an expert in marital sex before you are married! Mr. Right-for-You will be a blessed man! I think I can speak for many here when I say that I am looking forward to reading of the things you will choose to write about from your up-and-coming marriage bed (a pun? Maybe). May the Penelope in you be equal to the Odysseus in him.
Be good, LovelyLonelyLady! It is after all, what you were created to be!
Considering the word “fuck” as a holy term is intriguing.